Before, we get into the show this week, I have a major burr in my saddle, folks.  Recycling.  GH is taking this idea a bit too far.  Let’s take a look at the current stories on the canvas.

1.                   Carly’s tape recording Sonny’s meeting with Sorel.  Echoes of Brenda and the wire. 

2.                   Recently, back from the dead we have Lucky and Stefan.  Add those to Helena, Luke, Laura, Roy, Anna and Robert and that’s just off the top of my head.  I see dead people, too! 

3.                   Emily is being blackmailed for the second time in two years, however, two of the players have changed and we’ve added two newbies to the mix and it’s not as compelling.

4.                   Bobbie’s latest conquest is a felon.  Paging Jerry Jacks, oops I mean Roy Dilucca.

5.                   Stefan is making plans to kidnap an insipid blonde woman much like Faison kidnapped Felicia last year. Dare I hope Stefan has some sexy fur lined handcuffs snapped to his bed?

6.                   Sorel is demanding that Sonny transport his drugs, again.

7.                   AJ is drinking, again. 

8.                   Mike is in trouble for gambling, again.

9.                   Sonny is pissed at Mike, again. 

10.               Lucky, due to the brainwashing, is rehashing the L&L rape, again.

11.               Gia is Liz three years ago, without the smokes.

 Some stories get old that’s all I’m saying.  Feel free to add your own.

 Next week I’m thinking of adding my list of grievances against Guzilla and Wendela to the column. Perhaps even an anonymous unmailable letter starting out “Dear crackheads, What are you doing to our show?  Drop the pipe and listen up!”

 Now, on to this week’s craziness.

 First on the chopping block, my beloved Stefan managed to free himself from Skillet’s grip and they re-enacted a scene from The Karate Kid without the cutting “wax on, wax off” dialogue; however, Stefan was looking mighty buff, so I’m overlooking the silliness.  If being dead makes one look that delic, I say sign me up for the next yacht to the hereafter!  Stefan did manage to remove a threat even if it was an accident, which is something Helena hasn’t been able to accomplish lately.  Now he’s off stalking Chloe.  I’ll wait to see how that one plays before offering an opinion.

Carly asks Sonny for the $40k to help Mike.  I’m bored by this story.  Carly’s got another plaaaannnnnn, and it’s going to get somebody else into trouble again.  Mike deserves to have his hide skinned by Sorel.  That’s what real mobsters and loansharks do!

The Scooby gang finishes up the scene at the Rave.  Lucky busts up Liz’s lameass attempt at collecting information from Zander by pretending to be her boyfriend and totally spazzing her out.  This group lacks the social skills of hermits and they blended into that freaky collection of deviant humans about as well as a cow in a sheep pasture.  Lucky, in his new possessiveness of Liz, threatened to break Zander’s arm if he touched Liz.  Smart move there Einstein, you think he murdered a cop, but you threaten him.  Okie dokie.  The boys haul Liz out of the rave and Gia elects to hang back.  Zander immediately sauntered over and tried to put the moves on her, recognized her from the parking lot of the DeadTed’s hotel room and called her on it.  She used the old “I have to throw up” excuse to get away.  That always works . . .apparently.  I’m growing increasingly aggravated with this mismatched “pack of losers” and that includes Gia.

The gang went back to home base to give Em the dish.  Gia showed up demanding to know what’s going on, since Zander was hassling her.  After exchanging a few insults, they tell her to get lost and I can only hope that she will literally do just that.  After rehashing the events Lucky decides that Gia probably should be told that Zander is a murderer.  He is turning into such the little brain surgeon.  Yet another person knows about DeadTed, this is not to mention the countless number who could have overheard the gang discuss the murder at Kelly’s or at the docks.  It’s amazing to me that everybody in PC isn’t getting blackmailed for all the information that is exchanged at the docks.

Emily rags Lucky some more about his shabby treatment of Liz and compares them to Lancelot and Guinevere, saying that Lucky must always “protect your queen”.  Lucky’s mind shoots into orbit and Emily notices.  FINALLY!  They decide that something is wrong (NO!) and over the next couple of days, Liz spies them with their heads together at the boxcar working on this mystery.  Liz gets a little jealous.  Then, Juan spies them hugging at the Q house and gets jealous.  He must have attended the Caroline Spencer Benson wannabeMorgan Quartermaine almostCorinthos school of relationships, because after leaping to the wrong conclusion he makes a beeline over to Liz and fills her in on the fact that Lucky and Em have the hots for each other.  He is such a punk and should be shipped back to Puerto Rico immediately.  

Em then goes to visit Liz at Kelly’s before another rave and Liz asks her point blank about her feelings for Lucky.  Em covers saying that she just needs Lucky right now because he’s the one who rescued her from the hotel.  Lucky walks in and Emily tries to convince him to tell Liz about his “time loss”.  Lucky spouts off the usual comments about “I’ve changed”.  Liz gets appropriately pissed and scored major points by telling both Em and Lucky off!  I was actually applauding her.  For once, she was not whining.  I’m seeing a little of the hellraiser Liz resurfacing.  I could actually like a Liz&Lucky redeux if Liz regains her attitude.  I have major problems with any attempt to recreate the magic that JJ and RH brought to Liz and Lucky.  I’m with Liz on this point “my Lucky died the night of the fire.”  That was the most heartbreaking moment of the week.  By the end of Friday’s show, the gang’s all back at another Rave and Liz is giving Lucky more ‘tude and I’m loving it! 

I must digress for a moment and talk about these raves.  First of all, rave’s are not normally common knowledge because of all the drugs, drinking minors and other assundry things that take place.  Second, it’s usually not held in the same place twice, much less three times.  Third, this place is too clean, air conditioned and has power.  Who’s paying that bill?  You know the power company is not getting ripped off without knowing something is going on.  Finally, break dancing?  Do I even need to say one word about that? 

Karl and Zekrid had a moment discussing Jax’s love for Brenda.  I’m forced to reiterate my fervent objection to Jax’s bringing Chloe to this island that he intended to buy for another woman.  Anyway, then Jax spotted CloneBrenda and zoned, much like Lucky in his “protect your queen” state of mind.  Jax then spent the rest of the week satisfying Chloe and looking over her shoulder for Brenda. 

AJ is still stalking Hannah.  Same stuff, new day only with roses this time.  He then attempts to buy the Brownstone from Bobbie for “a million five” and she turns him down.  He wants to live there, she says no and he claims it’s a civil rights violation.  Hannah shows up and tells him off, again.   I adore AJ in his newfound vodka induced happiness, but I fail to see why everybody thinks Hannah is such a great catch, for other than the obvious. 

MyNed receives the LINE OF THE WEEK AWARD with this statement to Edward: “I don't see an ambulance out front. If I've flown up here from Philadelphia and there's not an emergency, I'm going to create one myself, and it's going to involve that phone and your throat.”  Then he promptly refuses to help Edward sabotage AJ, and tells Monica bringing another Q-baby into that house is a serious mistake.  I love the continued friendship between Monica and MyNed, despite their icky beginning.  Monica is the mother Ned never had in Tracy.  Monica actually listens when Ned offers his opinion. 

HIGHLIGHT:  Luke will be back soon!  Just kidding!  NinjaHelena going after Chloe! If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.  I must point out, for future reference, nothing thrills me quite like a good death threat from someone who will back it up!  Obviously, Sonny does not fit that bill or Sorel would be worm food by now. 

LOWLIGHT:  Carlybabes, always and forever.  She never considered that tipping the cops off regarding Sorel’s meeting with Mike might get Mike killed.  This is a major part of my continued contempt for Carly.  I fail to see any character growth from her botched plan to make AJ think he was drinking by tossing him into the laundry cart and slathering him with vodka. 

EXCEDRIN MOMENT:  Who else but the reigning queen of brain disasters herself, Chloe.  The entire time she was on this week was a colossal waste of my time.  The only joy I derived from her presence was set out in the aforementioned attempt on her life. 

SURPRISE OF THE WEEK:  Eddie’s Angel!  The look on Ned’s face when the reporter pointed out the poster of Alexis in her teddie was nothing short of priceless.  I’m looking forward to Alexis’ reaction! 

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS AND SHALLOW OBSERVATIONS:

1.                   Carly wasn’t wearing shoes in the Brownstone on Monday.  I love that.  I don’t know anybody who keeps his or her shoes on in the house, like everybody on TV always does.

2.                   Chloe, also, was not wearing shoes while sporting the Abercrombie outfit.  For a fashion designer, she certainly does some serious shopping at the local retail chains.

3.                   Helena’s transporter must have been a two-seater because Andreas appeared on Friday and I couldn’t be happier about that.  A whole week without any Andreas action and I’d go into withdrawals and have to be medicated!

4.                   Absolutely no Alexis this week, the poster doesn’t count.

5.                   All of those flowers AJ sent to Hannah were fake.  Would it kill TPTB to borrow them from a local flower shop for a couple of hours?

6.                   Bobbie spent her entire week cleaning up after Carly and Michael.  Two weeks more is a gift and Carly should be grateful!

7.                   Alan and Monica proved again how sweet they are.  I love these two!  Alan’s working out to build stamina, while too much information for Emily, was endearing to me.  Monica putting Alan on the spot, getting his engines revved then stopping as payback for telling everyone including the car wash guy about her fertility treatments was amusing.  TPTB need to get on the ball and give Stuart and Leslie more airtime.

8.                   The cast wasn’t as isolated as it recently has been.

9.                   Johnny got more than one line this week!!

~T~