Comments through Friday, April 16, 2004 
(Couple spoilers with a short life expectancy.)
 

"One thing you can't recycle is wasted time."
-Anon.

Raising the question, are we wasting our time tuning into General Hospital?  A couple of my friends are free in sharing their opinion that I could be a lot more productive if I’d give up my soap.  I laugh in their faces (I try to laugh politely without an eye roll) because I know that they sack out and go mindless at night on whatever primetime tripe is airing.  Reading posts on the ‘net would have me believe that quality of life throughout America would improve if GH disappeared from the afternoon lineup.  But then I pause and think that if all the unhappy viewers weren’t using GH as their daily anger management whipping boy, they’d find another show, another person, another scapegoat.  Then there’s the fact that each complaint represents a viewer tuning in each day so they’ll have more to complain about.  In my busy life, GH offers 38 minutes of fantasy and escape.  I don’t take smoke breaks or coffee breaks.  I am not crafty.  GH and writing let me vacation inside my head in a safe way while keeping me available to my family.  I like GH even when the plots are silly and repetitive and the characters over the top in their actions (c’mon you know I’m referring to Sonny this week). 

On Monday when Sonny put the gun in Carly’s hand and tried to taunt her into using it on Lorenzo, I heard the subtext echoing in my head loud and clear.  Did you? 

Carly (bursting through the door into Lorenzo’s apartment):  Sonny it is over.  You do not have to kill him.

Sonny:  I’m not going to.  (Grabbing Carly’s hand and placing the gun in it)  You are.  You say you hate him?  Prove it.  Kill him.

(Stunned silence rolled over the audience matching Carly’s stunned expression.  “Oh my, I thought, “duck fast, the poo-poo’s gonna fly now.”)

Lorenzo to Carly:  If it’s true you despise me.  It shouldn’t be hard to pull the trigger.  (Carly coming out of her daze points the gun at Lorenzo):  I’m not afraid to die, but there will be retaliation.  My men will find Sonny and they will kill him. 

Sonny:  Carly, don’t listen to him.

Lorenzo:  Maybe it’s for the best.  You’ll be a widow.  You’ll have a second chance.

Sonny:  He’s just bluffing to scare you so you won’t pull the trigger.

Lorenzo to Sonny:  You want me dead?  Stop hiding behind Carly and do it yourself.

Sonny to Carly:  Gimme the gun.  You’re not gonna fire the gun anyway.

Carly:  No one’s dying here tonight.

Sonny:  He’s right.  This is all about trying to save him.

Carly:  No!  I’m trying to stop all this violence.

Sonny:  You want to stop it?  Admit you love the bastard so we can move on.

(Computers powered up across America, perhaps causing lights to flicker or dim at the pull on the power grid.  The Windows power up song echoed throughout the land.  “It’s gonna get uglyyyyy!”)

Carly to Sonny:  I don’t love Lorenzo.  I never have.

Sonny:  But you can’t let him die.  Alkazar’s come after me over and over and over again.  He has torn our family apart, destroyed our lives together.  He is a business rival.  He has to die tonight.  The only one who can save him is you.  All you have to do is admit that you love him.  I will accept that.  But I’m not going to listen to any more lies or any more excuses for betrayal.  If you feel for this pig – own it.  Say that you love him, that you’ve wanted him all along.

Carly:  Do you know there is no pleasing you, Sonny?  There is never, ever enough love for you.  There are never enough ways that I can prove my loyalty.  You can lie on me, you can cheat on me, you can break my heart and I’m not supposed to feel it.  I’m supposed to forgive it.  But you shoot me in the head and my actions are a direct result and consequence of it.  What do you want me to do?  I’m still wrong.  You want me to shoot him?  Fine!  You want me to shoot him?  Will that prove something to you?  Fine!  I’ll shoot him.  (Bang!)

(On your mark…get set…type!  Let the arguing, bashing and justifying commence!  I tip-toed in on a couple message boards and the hype was incredible.  Sonny’s done it now; he’s lost all his marbles.  He and Carly have been completely ruined. Etc.  Commentary sprang up everywhere.)

Like an unstoppable tidal wave Sonny and Carly’s emotions bounced off each other gaining momentum until Carly fired the gun.  “At least this time she didn’t aim for her lover,” I thought remembering Tony Jones.  Were the actions over the top?  Definitely, compared to real life.  However, Sonny is a character with minimal emotional self control that regularly moves in directions a normal person wouldn’t think to go.  I am fervently hoping that Sonny’s current actions are part of another cycle of his manic depression which was never resolved.  In fact, no one has yet mentioned to Sonny’s face that he may be suffering from an illness and perhaps he could control the darkness with a doctor’s care.   

Seeing Sonny put the gun in Carly’s hand and probing my emotional response, I spent some time thinking about why I can watch GH and accept the violence in front of me.  A couple reasons came to mind.  The main reason is as simple as differentiating between reality and fiction.  I don’t watch much prime time drama because I find the unending violence hard to take.  On GH, it’s more cartoonish so I can view and put the violence and silly idiosyncrasies in a safe place in my mind.  Like the difference between watching a superhero show and typical shoot ‘em up cop show, both are violent but I don’t question the unexplained details when a superhero is involved.  The second reason resides inside me.  There’s a part of me that likes Sonny and Jason living by their own rules, their own code.  There’s a part of me that wishes to live that way too.  Not as a MOB boss or enforcer, but doing exactly as I please, when I please.  I know it can never happen because if we all lived that way civilization would end.  I’ll give an example.  Driving down a paved back road with the radio playing a song I like, following my impulse I would step on the gas and turn up the volume without regard to speed limits or safety.  My head knows it’s not safe and I could get a ticket, but my heart wants to do it anyway.  With age, I’ve become more cautious so I tend to keep my lead foot to myself because I don’t want to deal with the repercussions.  The MOB storyline, particularly Sonny, allows that figurative lead foot to hit the gas pedal and let the chips fall.  I can relate on a wild level that I keep buried deep inside and I’d bet money that tons of other viewers react in the same way.

Whoohooooo!!!!! 

Aaah, I thought for about three scenes as Jason and Courtney connected and tried to reconcile.  But then the connection went south as Courtney ran out to save our favorite bad guy, Lorenzo.  It was a nice tidbit for the Journey fans who spent the rest of the week watching Jason and Courtney shatter their relationship.  From a moral, normal life standpoint, Courtney was right in her actions.  A person’s life has value and shouldn’t be squandered in two inches of water in a flooding basement or at the altar of Sonny’s unforgiving rage.  That being said, I didn’t feel all that sorry for Courtney at the end of the week when Jason signed the divorce papers and sent her away sobbing to the hallway where all of the women in Jason and Sonny’s lives end up with broken hearts.  I didn’t feel sorry because Courtney, even though she decided to refuse to live by Sonny and Jason’s code, knows the rules and boundaries.  Did she think just because she was right her actions wouldn’t have consequences?  Because she was hurting I felt bad, but her self-righteous I-can’t-believe-Jason-refused-to-understand attitude rubbed me wrong.  I wanted to tell her to do what Sonny does – pony up and own her actions.  She told, she got the scold; however, in fairness, she didn’t whine the next day to Carly when she explained what happened.  To be clear, because she was right, when Jason and Sonny finally discover a shred of forgiveness, I hope she makes them crawl back into her good graces instead of working her way back into theirs.

Hope you enjoyed the two happy scenes.

Cause the sob fest was right around the corner. 

Well gee, Sonny, don’t go all sensitive on me or anything.  Oh, I guess not since the morning after Jason signed his divorce papers and sent Courtney away with tears and sobs, Sonny demanded that Jason not feel anything for her.  ‘Cause Sonny, being the stick to his principles guy that he is, definitely feels nothing for Carly.  It’s not like he’s hypocritical or anything.  For instance, instinctively throwing himself over Carly when the bomb blew out the courtroom windows.  Hey, who waved the sarcasm wand?

Sonny, if I put my hands on my hips

It means what I’m feeling is none of your business. 

Nothing like airing the Corinthos dirty laundry at the local diner for the patron’s dining entertainment.  As usual, Sonny caused the upset trying to force Mike into choosing Courtney or him.  Mike was the only one making sense in the argument and when Sonny demanded that he choose I had to yell at the TV, “Refuse to choose!”  Why should Mike and Courtney be forced into Sonny’s ridiculous mind melts?  No one can make Sonny forgive or apologize until he finds a path in himself that allows him to accept the actions of others.  Carly attempted to force an apology from Sonny - a pointless exercise.  Who wants forced, meaningless words?  I loved Carly’s line to Sonny, “I’m sure that everyone has had enough of the world according to Sonny.”  Yeah, we have.  Time for Sonny to seek help.

 

Michael informed Sam regarding Alkazar and Sam’s place in his life, “He’s (Lorenzo) like you.  He’s nice to me so that my mom will like him.  But he’s not a part of my family, and neither are you.  I want both of you to go away.”  Michael calls it like he sees it and I like him better every day.  Not only has he formed his own opinions about his parent’s respective lovers, he formulated and executed a plan to bring his parents back together.  And it’s only going to cost Carly and Sonny a measly 500 smackers.  The fake kidnapping may be childishly conceived, but I like that he’s not sitting on the couch soaking in the unsatisfactory explanations offered by Mommy and Daddy about why they trashed his life along with theirs and why he should still be happy.  Big Cheers to Dylan Cash for taking the character Michael to the next level in soapyland.

The note offers one little clue,

Of what a big brother planned to do.

Sonny and Carly guess Michael’s woes,

But guess in vain, because only the baby knows. 

I felt bad for Skye as she drunkenly made a fool of herself and dissed all the men on the Haunted Star from a table top.  Luke, no stranger to numbing himself with liquor and creating disturbing public displays, took Skye’s insults and anger in stride understanding her need to lash out.  Keeping his alliances in tact, he informed Faith that he likes to take chances and partnerships would remain the same with Skye coming in first before Faith.  Talk about proving loyalty, Luke jumped right in to save Skye from turning herself in for ice picking Ross.  Let the mystery commence.  Was it Faith?  Skye?  Tracey?  Send me your theories and let’s get crackin’ ‘cause spoilers say the mystery will last through the summer (Anthony Geary’s vacation and Robin Christopher’s maternity leave) and by the time they return we won’t give a hoot because the story will have grown cold and old.  Unless they stash the body in Dead Ted’s freezer in Wyndemere in which case cold takes on a new meaning, ‘cause I won’t forget there’s another detective in the freezer.

One cop, two cop, dead cop three,

Death awaits you at the PCPD. 

No character on GH can raise my mad level like Ric and he gave me a double mad this week.  It was so bad I had to talk to the TV using language that I don’t use in real life.  No, I didn’t resort to cursing.  I can’t because I have too many teenagers running through my house and if I let the words out in one instance, they’re sure to pop out in another with kids around.  Not the example I want to set.  So in case you’ve ever wondered, yeah, I know the words, they run through my thoughts, but I can’t let them out.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, the double mad.  First, I couldn’t believe he let the wife he professes to love waddle off to a place called Away to have her baby on her own.  He didn’t ask about her arrangements, worry about her vehicle, or wonder how she would get herself to the hospital when labor hit.  What kinda pathetic caring is that?  Second, I knew I was going to have to write bad about him again this week, especially after he hit on Sam without even a blink of regret over losing his wife and child.  I may have to desist from mentioning him at all under the theory that if I don’t have anything nice to say, I should take my hands off the keyboard.

I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,

Don’t know when I’ll be back again.

Oh baby, I hate to goooooo… 

Liz is moving to the magical place called Away.  Don’t you wish you knew where Away is located?  It’s a no stress place where details like housing and moving expenses don’t exist.  I’d like to go there on vacation to visit all the characters who have moved there. 

I’m not saying this to imply that Georgie’s a slut.  However, she is a teenage boy’s favorite dream.  “I want to lose my virginity tonight with you.”  It’s a bit awkward since they’re in her room with both parents in the house, but Dillon and Georgie have faced higher odds.  Being a mother of a teenage boy and a young girl, I am glad that Dillon and Georgie haven’t had sex.  The conversation between Felicia and Georgie regarding sex, the dangers involved, and waiting seemed entirely appropriate.  The fact that the mother/daughter facts of life conversation occurred at all was encouraging.  The mother in me keeps hoping that Georgie will decide to wait.  I want to see lots of Georgie and Dillon – they are fun and romantic in a fresh way.  I don’t want to see them have sex.

To prevent over indulgence of this…

We must have more of this… 

Mary elicits sympathy from me.  I find myself liking her with ConNik as she tries to take care of him and appreciates his efforts to take care of her.  She cares with an aura of vulnerability that pulls at me.  I want to embrace her, but I find myself holding back because of the small problem of her sanity or lack of.  She may be nicely psycho, but psycho nonetheless.  Attending Nikolas’ memorial service to support grieving Emily because she understands Emily’s pain, when she’s responsible for Emily’s current tearfest, proves that her thought processes go zig when they ought to go zag.  I’d say how dare she show up for Emily when she’s the reason Emily’s grieving, but that pales in comparison to stealing Nik’s life and making him believe he’s Connor.  I guess I’ll just have to pinch myself whenever she’s in a scene and repeat, “crazy as a monkey in a room full of plastic bananas, daft as a motorist driving backwards on a highway, cuckoo as a lopsided bouncy ball” so I won’t fall into the trap of sympathizing with her pain or liking her.

Booiiinnngggg

That’s the bouncy ball in Mary’s mind. 

By now the PCPD must have a hard time recruiting police officers since so many have died in the past few months.  Brian, Capelli, and Ross have been toe tagged while Mac and a couple others were burned or blown up in the big fire.   

I saw several little pieces of greatness this week and wondered about a couple scenes. 

Tracey showed Jason how to use an ice pick while Jason looked at her like she had brain damage. 

Tracey with an ice pick is scarier and Jason with a gun. 

Dillon asked Jason, “How do you do that?  How do you act like the family doesn’t matter?”

Jason shrugged matter of factly, “They don’t.”  Jason comforted Emily while Dillon looked on with a yearning face that said he’d like to be included in their part of the Q’s. 

Nikolas has amnesia, right?  What’s up with walking through the chapel like he’s off balance and has an inner ear infection? 

The candles have sucked all the oxygen out of the room,

Making ConNik lose his sense of balance. 

The only time it hurts to watch Tracey is when she’s fawning over Jax as he insults her. 

My favorite Ric scene occurred when he burst into Alkie’s apartment after hearing gunshots only to be stonewalled by Sonny, Carly and Alkazar presenting a united front against him.  Never mind probable cause and bullet holes, if Ric can’t enforce the law he’s so busy corrupting, too bad for him.

Wall (Carly, Sonny, Lorenzo),

Meet Ric’s head. 

Courtney’s upper arm strength must be phenomenal since she hauled unconscious Lorenzo UP the steep basement stairs before squeezing the water out of him. 

Great scene where Emily scolded Luke for his self absorbed obsession with all things Cassadine and reminded him that a father would support Lucky in his grief.  “Nikolas respected you but he didn’t need you.  Your family, your children do.”  Tell him, Em!

Luke, whole new concept for ya.

It’s not about you. 

ConNik and Mary slow danced to a radio that I assume was powered by batteries since the storm knocked out the electricity.  When the heat began to rise between them, Mary broke away saying she had to heat up the chili.  With what, a propane stove? 

My new favorite name for Rick was e-mailed to me by a friend.  IckRic.  (Thanks, Hope)  It suits him don’t ya think?  Wasn’t it cool how Sam put the beat down on Ric for trying to put the moves on her?

IckRic 

Spoilers abound but there’s not much in the surprising, funny category.  Of course, anticipation is rising because Ric will soon discover Kristina’s paternity.  However, there are no spoilers indicating how Ric will use his combustible secret.  Perhaps the lack of info is a spoiler onto itself.   

Courtney forms a shocking alliance with someone that Jason and Sonny hate.  (GHFF)

Pfft!  Call it like it is.  They’re not upset about Courtney’s shocking alliance, Sonny and Jason are miffed that that Courtney hasn’t slunk off to another country.  After all, they’re treating her to their ultimate woman buster – The Big Ignore.  How dare Courtney continue to think for herself and live a life separate from them? 

Carly's feelings continue to be conflicted as Sonny indicates that despite their living arrangement he is not expecting conjugal relations,  while Lorenzo tells her he is letting go and moving on.  (GHH2)

Let’s probe to a deeper level.  Carly becomes disturbed when she realizes that she may not have a lover on tap at all times.  I see a scene at Jake’s in her future. 

Ned announces his plans to revive L&B records.  (GHH2) 

Yay!  Just in time for summer and musical guest appearances to boost summer ratings. 

Mr. John Ingle showed up on SoapTalk this week looking fine and fit.  He spoke well of General Hospital and explained the whoopla over his exit in the kindest of terms.  GH had planned to snuff Edward in December; however, due to a fan uprising, TPTB backed away from that idea and offered him a recurring contract instead.  Right about then, DOOL Powers That Be offered him a three year contract.  It was a no contest, no brainer – he went for the gold and signed the contract.  Interestingly, his new boss at DOOL used to be his student at Beverly Hills High School where Mr. Ingle taught drama from 1964 to 1984. 

Also making an appearance on SoapTalk was the ever interesting Cynthia Preston who, thinking that she wouldn’t have much to talk about on the show, decided to go skydiving and allow SoapTalk to film her dive.  How cool is that?  She is one of the actors from GH with whom I’d love to be stuck in an elevator because she seems smart, interesting and most of all, fun.  During her interview with Lisa Rinna and Ty Treadway they discussed her penchant for taking snapshots of the occasions in her life.  Labeling herself the “Snapshot Queen”, because of a major car accident several years ago where she lost the ability to recognize and name objects as well as spending months in a hospital with a smashed pelvis and various other serious injuries, she now appreciates every moment of her life and chronicles events as they occur.  Ms. Preston has a movie being released to DVD this month entitled, “The Event” where she plays a lesbian.  She noted that it was the best script she’d ever read and she decided that she’d do whatever it took to be a part of the movie including changing her hair and piercing.  Her hair was redone into a platinum mullet with pink highlights but piercings weren’t necessary.  No spoilers slipped into the conversation but she spoke enthusiastically of the fun of playing Faith because the writers give her great dialogue interspersed with clever one-liners.    

From The Hollywood Reporter I read this little blurb about a new show under consideration. 

'Man' team takes on women

The production company behind "The Man Show" is ready to learn about women. Stone Stanley Entertainment has signed a development deal with Oxygen, the female-targeted cable network. The company, which also counts "Celebrity Mole" and "The Joe Schmo Show" to its credit, is already at work on an unspecified unscripted series for Oxygen. "Stone Stanley has a proven track record with edgy, fun reality shows, and their brand of television fits right in with other Oxygen programming," Oxygen president of programming Debby Beece said. "Their shows have a lot of personality and a very distinct feel, and we are really eager to see what they come up with." (Andrew Wallenstein) 

I respectfully submit the male characters from GH to participate in this show.  Intense psychological first aid in man/woman dynamics might lead to a whole new concept in storytelling like the realization that women can be smart and independent while enjoying loving relationships.   

Last week I caught a few minutes of John Ingle playing Mickey (and I wrote) on “One Life To Live”.  John Ingle currently hangs his hat at “Days of Our Lives”.  Major typo on my part.  I apologize. 

Want to laugh?  Call 214/719-7000.  It’s not smutty and takes less than two minutes. 

Have you ever had a week where you expected your life to run in one way and instead it took a turn around a corner you didn’t expect?  It’s rhetorical.  Every person experiences moments, days, weeks of unexpected twists and turns.   That was my week which began with my aging van taking me to work in the morning and then refusing to start again to take me home.  Since my husband works away from home during the week, I have towing and roadside service which I used to have the poor old dear taken to the garage where my miracle working mechanic could feed it some engine vitamins or add a new belt and make everything better.  Of course, it didn’t happen that way and I ended up without wheels for three days.   

Now you might think, “Oh, bummer week” but it didn’t play out that way.  My neighborhood sits on the outside of a small town surrounded by a large park and rice fields so walking to a store to pick up milk isn’t an option.  On the first day, my neighbor wandered over after seeing a strange man dropping me off (Larry, my miracle mechanic) and asked if everything was all right and then offered to take me to the store if I needed anything.  Another bus driver who’d seen me waiting for the tow truck called and offered to pick me up and drop me off while I was without wheels.  The next day another friend offered the use of her husband’s truck while he was out of town.  I drove that pick up truck and felt like the coolest chick on a country road in Texas.  Old country songs played on the radio (because that’s what he listens to and I wasn’t about to mess with a man’s radio dial) and I discovered that I know more country than I thought.  I sang along with Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, and Dolly Parton to name a few and marked the day as a cultural experience.  That evening I picked up my van and drove home (minus a few hundred from my checking account) feeling way more blessed than stressed because of the help I’d received without even asking.  I wanted to do as Katrina once wrote - blow up balloons and tie them to my door with a sign saying, “Miracle Party Here”.  Life is good. 

May every robotic gadget in your life run smoothly.  And if you experience a blip in the engine of your day, I wish for you a couple friends to step in and support you.  If your friends are busy, drop me an e-mail and I’ll at least reply with some sympathy.  Thank you for reading. 

www.internetbumperstickers.com 

Photo credit:  http://www.alanayers.com/

Time for dinner. 

Three cheers for fun screen caps!  Thanks, Terry.

http://groups.msn.com/GHWorld4


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