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Comments through February 6, 2004 Did you see what I saw this week? Did you notice? I saw what consensus says GH desperately needs (and I agree) but hasn’t happened. I saw…..(drum roll, please)…..BALANCE! According to the soap magazines, TPTB are quite proud of themselves for producing The Towering Port Charles Inferno and utilizing the talents of every member of the cast. We’re talkin’ big bucks, extra sets specially designed to burn up, and extras to fill in the gaps. Also, (in case you don’t read the magazines) the daring helicopter rescue really is a daring helicopter rescue with a real helicopter on top of a 14 story building. I’m ready with my good attitude to sit on the edge of my seat and enjoy their efforts. I feel a need to note, though, that while I’m enjoying the excitement and drama of daytime trying out primetime, don’t think I haven’t noted that Valentine’s Day will be scrapped again this year because the hotel fire will still be raging. So much for love in the afternoon.
I think the entire cast showed up this week except Mike. Where’s Mike? Sonny hurt my mother’s heart with his inability to compromise over Michael and Morgan. Carly: Sweetheart, come to me. Sonny: Michael, I want you over here. Stand off with Michael in the middle. Jason: It’s OK, Michael, we’re going to go home.
Who are you people and why are you calling me Michael? My immediate response was a yearning to rush to Michael and put my arms around him as he stood in the middle of the standoff between Carly and Sonny. At this point, custody of Michael and Morgan should be awarded to Jason because he’s a reliable, loving presence in their lives and Michael trusts him. I know the hitman thing kinda gets in the way, but aside from that little dangerous fact, he’s great with the kids. I hear some of you howling that Courtney’s the only sane one in the bunch and she’s bonded with Morgan. I agree, but I don’t think she could hold out against both Sonny and Carly.
Jason takes daddy duty seriously. Sonny takes Jason’s devotion to all things Sonny for granted. After Michael, Courtney received the worst treatment. Jason returned the children to the comfort of their home while Sonny took out his anger on Courtney. “I make the decisions for my sons. If you ever want to see them again. Don’t ever do this.” Pfft! to Sonny for lambasting Courtney. Courtney wouldn’t have been accosted by Alkazar in the *ahem* safety of Sonny’s home if Sonny stayed at home instead of hangin’ at the hotel playing pogo stick with Sam every 10 minutes. True to form, he rushed back upstairs to relieve his stress with Sam.
Courtney implores her brother not to father anymore children because obviously his gene pool is faulty. I’m sensing a pattern here. Sonny argues with Carly, finds Sam to have hot bunny sex, then goes off to argue with Carly again. It definitely isn’t respectful of Sam, but Sonny sex must scratch some internal itch of her own. In my head there’s a picture of Mr. Guza and Mr. Pratt eating lunch at a trendy restaurant congratulating themselves for successfully tearing apart a popular couple and having both of them tape loves scenes with different partners. I wish I could find that restaurant to explain, “Fellas, sex and passion do NOT equal romance.” They can chalk up some storyline and passion points, but they’re failing Romance 101.
Peek-A-Boooo Let it be noted that Sam possesses ONE scruple. Sleeping with a married man poses no problem for her. Theft appears as natural as breathing. But by golly, she won’t be paid to leave town! I guess one scruple is better than none. Looking properly thiefy, Sam donned her black hat and tight black pants and stealthily crept down the hall peering around corners and slipping through doors. The only drawback was the clanking of her big black bag with each step she took which detracted from her sexy sneaky thiefy persona.
See me being sneaky. Hear me blowing my cover. Lorenzo and Sam, the two interloping lovers in black leather, met in the lobby of the P.C. Hotel as Lorenzo menacingly suggested to Sam that she use her influence with Sonny to make him give up custody. Since Sam has no influence with Sonny, Alkie’s manipulations had no effect, but the two of them make an interesting pair. Can’t you picture a few months from now, the two outcast lovers hooking up?
“Hello, my name is Lorenzo. I wear black leather. You wear black leather. Want to share a closet?” C’mere Brian and let me smack you on the back of your head. There’s smoke in the hallway of a high-rise hotel. Don’t stand around talking to the children. Pull the fire alarm. For that matter, Jason, c’mere, and let me smack you too. Pull the fire alarm! Maybe Brian DID pull the fire alarm only it didn’t sound because Edward bought the hotel fire alarms at the same place Sherry Mercurio bought hers and that’s why he had to use his cell phone. How odd that fire raged in the basement and smoke was pouring into areas of the building but no alarms were clanging until Carly and Alexis tried to ride in the same elevator.
Dude, where’s my car? “A fire has been reported at the Port Charles hotel. Police are asking all nonemergency personnel to stay clear of the downtown area.” Tick…..Tick…..Tick…..Tick….Tick. That’s how many seconds it took for Courtney to lay Morgan in his stroller bed and head out the door to the P.C. fire. Courtney to the rescue! I had to laugh as Courtney ran into the hotel lobby and when momentarily stopped by a fire fighter, pushed past him saying, “My husband is here.” I’m curious how she intends to find Jason in the burning high-rise. It’s OK though because she finds a dog, a wealthy hotel guest and Sonny before she moves on to the emotionally debilitating task of blaming herself for all wrongs in Port Charles and by transference blaming Jason and “The Life”.
Let me throw on my Super C jacket and head downtown to assist the PCFD who must be helpless without me. Jax rescued Sam from the smoky hallway and carried her to the safety in his smoke free hotel suite where they will have sex because fire wouldn’t dare accost Jasper Jax when he’s in the mood for love. Probably candles would be redundant for those scenes.
Jax carries Sam into his lair. Cameron never drew me into must see TV but I wanted the chance to get to know him as a father to Zander. Performing surgery on his son in the basement of a hotel speaks of a man willing to jump off the pedestal on which he placed himself. I like that Zander leaves with a question mark and I hope Cameron does too.
OK, Dad, you can have my gun. Can I have my allowance now? Did anyone recognize the ambulance guy wheeling out Mac? He’s been an extra before but I can’t remember when. I think he was the dispatcher at the hospital when Carly was in labor and Sonny, Lorenzo and Jason were trying to get to her.
Who am I? To clarify, the day of the fire began on Tuesday, February 3, and will end in about 2-1/2 weeks. That’s a long time in clothes growing grimier with each scene!
Treasure, treasure, who has the treasure? I was trying to run through my mind how many times the treasure has changed hands so far. - Cody, Sam’s Dad, brought the treasure up from the sunken ship. - Sam found the treasure in a black bag on Spoon Island but she was hit from behind and the treasure disappeared from her greedy grasp. - The mean fence (whose name I don’t remember) stole the treasure. - Sam stole the treasure back from the mean guy and hid on Sonny’s airplane. - Sam and Sonny landed on Azure Key so they could bond, oh, I mean so Sam could gather the rest of the treasure. - The pirate elf stole the treasure from Sam and gave it to Helena. - Helena murdered the renegade elf, took the treasure, and hid it on Spoon Island in a secret cave. - Nickolas and Emily found the treasure at long last and set it up for auction at the P.C. Hotel. - Luke heisted the treasure during the auction. - Sam knocked out Luke with a taser and stole the booty back.
Now that’s a booty call. I mean haul! This list is only accurate until Monday because Jax rescued Sam but left the treasure in a laundry cart in the smoky hall of the hotel. At several turns pieces of treasure have been carelessly left behind as the thief hurried away. I’m thinking either Courtney or Jason need to jump on the treasure trail. If anyone can rescue the treasure, it would be one of them. I enjoyed Nickolas and Emily this week, particularly Nickolas. How appropriate that he and Emily beat Luke and Helena to the treasure and he was able to smugly lord it over them. Helena was funny in her disbelief. “How did you manage to do that?” she asked Nickolas clearly unable to comprehend that he could figure out the pirate’s journal for himself. Nickolas came through again the next day with a cough and a comical expression as Emily spoofed Tracey informing her that she wanted ELQ for herself.
The older generation gaze at Nik with shock and awe. “Who knew he could think for himself?” they wonder. Luke and Helena bickered like two old married people, except they were arguing over whether Helena would die from the poison he tricked her into ingesting. They made clear their self involvement and unwillingness to move past their personal vendettas real and imagined. Their draw and their downfall lie in their unbalanced commitment to outdoing each other.
I told you we should have stopped to ask for directions! I like Justus. Want to know why I like Justus? Because he’s been introduced slowly with a touch of humor as he steadfastly opposes Edward’s attempts to manipulate him back into the Q melee. Justus smiled at Skye as she comped him chips on board the Haunted Star, “I’m so glad we’re not related. It’s way too much fun likin’ you.” That he’s tormented by his past and trying to live a changed life is clearly presented while making him likable. I’m ready for more Justus.
Smile, you’re on Candid Camera. Skye was a shining star all week. How fun to be in the triumphant driver’s seat over Tracey. Though I have to hand it to Tracey who, in Skye’s territory, tried to bully her way into a line of credit on the Haunted Star. And when bullying didn’t work, she resorted to insults and attempting to push Skye out of her sobriety. Bad Tracey. Bad, bad Tracey I thought on Monday as Skye took a drink after Jax tried to use her because his little ego was bruised over Sam’s torrid affair with Sonny. So there Jax, because Skye refused to be used and she called Jax on his shallowness. So there Tracey, I cheered when Skye threw the drink in her face the next day. So there Edward, because he couldn’t draw Skye into his web with a promise of Q power. Top off the week with Skye saving Luke and refusing to leave him in the smoke filled hallway and she receives the Primo Character Award. A unique honor that I just made up.
Skye the fierce. Skye the triumphant. Skye the hero. I loved Skye’s outfit on Friday. Too bad the fire’s going to ruin it. What an ego kicker! Brian informed Courtney that he’s in love with her and Courtney looked at him with astonished horror. I would have felt sorry for Brian for having his feelings stomped except Courtney has told him several times that she loves her husband and she’s not ready for anything deeper. Think hard Brian. You keep pushing and Courtney keeps backing up. That’s a sign that she’s probably not in love with you.
Brian says earnestly, “I love you, Courtney.” Courtney replies, “Please don’t.” It’s official. I will never allow my teenagers to visit New York where teenagers may check into expensive hotels without question. No one asked for an ID or raised an eyebrow over four teens checking in with boys and girls in the same room.
“We’re having sex as soon as we go upstairs.” So what, we’re doing it in a bubble bath.” TMI! TMI! I’m sending an engraved invitation to Beth, the lady who explodes in a dusting dance fever with the Swiffer duster and dusts her friend’s house. I’ll buy a supply of Swiffer dusters and play whatever music she likes if she’ll dance through my house dusting with the same enthusiasm I see on the commercial.
And now, for some weekly spoiler entertainment: (GHH2) Fearing the end is near, Jax and Sam make love. Talk about your hot sex. Either way, I’d have a hard time finding the right mood while the building burns around me. Courtney refuses to leave Sonny's side. Kung Foo Courtney practices on Ric. I wonder if Kung Foo Courtney has to practice on Ric in a stairwell. Because all the best fights occur in a stairwell. Jason is still in the doghouse with Courtney. Let’s see…It’s Jason’s fault that Courtney had to shoot Brian which resulted in Zander hiding out in the hotel. So obviously, the faulty electrical system, the fight between Zander and Nickolas, and the fire are all Courtney’s fault, making the Cataclysmic Event Jason’s fault by default. Or maybe Jason lost Courtney’s new puppy that she rescued from the fire. Carly blackmails Alexis into representing her in the custody case. Five seconds after I read this one I knew that Carly would blackmail Alexis into representing her so that we could have scenes in which Carly accuses Alexis of trying to throw the case. I’m just hoping that if slapping is involved, Alexis hands back some of what Carly dishes out. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day and the giving and receiving of love I offer the following:
1. It has nothing to do with real life. 2. Our Fab Four beats any other Fab Four in TV land. 3. Storylines may be twisted, but they are full of imagination. 4. Every once in while, I see my romantic fantasies come true on screen. 5. Characters that I can love and mock with equal devotion. 6. Great clothes, great hair. 7. Despite spoilers, despite being pretty good at guessing where storylines are going, sometimes I’m completely unprepared for a plot twist or how a scene is played. 8. I’m am able to see GH five days a week instead of weekly 38 minute installments like primetime. 9. If I hate a storyline or can’t stand the direction a character is moving, I know that I only have to hang on for a few months and it will change. 10. Great music montages.
1. YOU GUYS. You wonderful people who read and write to me. 2. Reading and being friends with the other scintillating writers for EOS. 3. Finding a writing home and a network of support. 4. Stretching my imagination each week. 5. Finding an outlet for the emotions and funnies I see on GH. 6. Taking fanship in a new direction and attending the GH fan weekend last year. 7. Meeting Katrina and Carolyn last year and finding friends not acquaintances. 8. Being able to read the other columnists, who see GH from a different perspective and appreciating their viewpoints. 9. Writing whimsical nonsoapy columns that Katrina is willing to post. 10. Feeling like I am a part, in a very small way, of promoting a show that brings me daily enjoyment. Saving the best for last…
I wouldn’t trade and I don’t share. Oh boy, do I love that man! I was thinking this week about how my GH obsession began. Even many years later I can describe the scene of Jason standing on the bridge contemplating life and brain damage when Robin appeared. She introduced herself and a romantic obsession was born, though I had no clue it would take me to this column on the internet. I remember thinking that they made an interesting couple and I liked their intensity. I would glance up whenever they came on as I sat with my ailing mother-in-law in the afternoons. You can guess the rest. Pretty soon, I’d try to catch the show if I happened to be at home, then I made an effort to watch the show, and eventually, I HAD to watch for the next step in the story which forced me into tech nerdery as I learned how to work the VCR to record each day. By then, I was falling for a canvas of characters and discovering their histories and place on the canvas. Spoilers, message boards, and e-mail didn’t exist in my life though that was the next step in my personal techy rite of passage. It’s been a wonderful adventure and I am grateful each week that Katrina allows me to share my thoughts here at EOS. Thanks for reading.
http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/ My thanks to GH World, the best screen caps site around! http://groups.msn.com/GHWorld4
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