Comments through October 24, 2003
(Of course there are spoilers.  The elephant wouldn’t fit on the page.) 

Usually there’s a day during the week that stands out.  This week I thought it was Tuesday.  The scenes and dialogue drew me in (even though by the end of the day I thought most of the males residing in Port Chuck were morons, but that’s another paragraph) while the action kept me glued.  Then I watched Wednesday.  Oh my, Wednesday’s end rated as high as a Friday cliffhanger.  When Sonny and Lorenzo both fired their guns, I kinda gasped/screamed and had to call Carolyn.  How I miss watching GH in real time so I can call her as the show progresses.  Yeah, it’s kinda teenagerish, but it sure is fun!  Then Friday’s episode aired and it was a grabber!  I love a high drama week like this! 

Bummer week for Jason.  He looked to the east, looked to the west, but the action kept happening elsewhere.  Even wearing his Super J leather jacket, he couldn’t catch an action wave.  Lorenzo broke into the penthouse and shot Sonny, Courtney crashed her car and was discovered by Capelli, Carly disappeared and SuperJ (the finder of all lost souls in Port-Missing-Charles) couldn’t figure out where to look, and lastly but certainly not leastly, Sonny shot his own wife!  Hold on, I’ll get to the Moron Men problem that flared up this week.  Jason couldn’t find any action but he gave a nice demonstration of his skill as a soap hunk when he held Courtney’s hand in the hospital and told her, “Don’t ever worry about bothering me.  OK?  Just tell me where you’re going.  Tell me what you’re thinking.  Make me hear you.  So I’ll always be able to find you.”  Sigh, OK….wait, oh darn, TV, back to reality.  Ladies, admit it, don’t you wish your guy would gaze at you sincerely and ask what you’re thinking and feeling?  My husband will ask but it takes some major work before he notices something’s off track.  That’s why we practice the Just Gotta Say Rule.  It saves a lot of stress and promotes communication without anger, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the romantic appeal of holding my hand, gazing sincerely into my eyes and talking like an emotional soapy guy. 

Courtney, I love you with all my heart, but I’m taking your car keys.

Tell me what you’re feeling now. 

The ending scenes of Carly in labor completely pulled me in.  Sonny burst through the door, shot Alcazar and Carly fell back.  I almost wished I hadn’t read the spoiler at this point because they played it so well.  Carly weakly finished giving birth then slipped into unconsciousness as we realized that she’d been shot in the head.  Enjoying the show, I was lying on my bed watching my tape and when Sonny fired the shot, I screamed and jumped to my knees holding the pillow.  Hey, what can I say, sometimes I become emotionally involved.  Anyway, my son’s friends who were waiting for him in the family room while he took his premovie shower (I am the designated drive-the-teenagers-to-the-movies mom) ran into my bedroom all concerned asking, “What’s the matter, Ms. Kathy?”  I was embarrassed to be found clutching my pillow and screaming at the TV screen, but I didn’t want to tear my eyes away long enough to tell them I was fine, watching GH.  One of the boys rolled his eyes and said, “Oh, it’s her soap.”  They stood there watching me act like a lunatic until I reassured them that I was fine, just caught up in a great scene.  A few minutes later, my son came out of the bathroom and I heard one of them tell him, “Yo, Mo (my son’s nickname), your mom was screaming in the bedroom, but it’s OK, she’s watching her soap.”  After a few mocking comments I had to call in there, “Hey, I hear you and if you keep making fun of me, I’m not feeding any of you any more.”  Guess I told them!  Except they laughed instead of acting properly repentant.  I can’t figure out when I lost control. 

Uncontrolled Terror                                    Life Ending Pain

Miraculous Love                                     Horrifying Consequences 

When I watch GH, it’s like I watch on two separate levels.  One level rides the ride with the story and the other part stands back making comments, many of which end up in this column.  As intense and absorbing as the scenes were during Carly’s labor, some funnies hit me. 

Alcazar insisted to Carly, “I know that you’re loyal to the people you love.  You are fearless and you are compassionate.”  Carly laughed in disbelief as she suffered through a labor pain, “You’re completely delusional.”  I agree with Carly and I couldn’t help but think that Alcazar suffers from terminal bad timing.  Did he expect her to pause in labor and say, “Why thank you Lorenzo”?      

Carly said, “Something’s changing.”  Alcazar peeked under the blanket draped over her knees and replied, “I think I see the head.”  And I thought, “Lorenzo you are so gonna get it for lookin’ at Sonny’s wife down there.”

So many comments.  So inappropriate. 

Remember Stephen the Dell computer guy?  “Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell.”  Sonny burst through the door, shot Alcazar and Carly and I heard Stephen’s voice say, “Dude, you shot your wife.” 

Wasn’t it satisfying when Bobbie ripped into Sonny?  It was a little silly of her to presume she could swipe Michael from under Sonny’s nose, but I thoroughly enjoyed her fierce scolding and defense of Carly.  Sonny did that eyes-glaze-over-I’m-really-not-listening thing that my kids do occasionally so Bobbie didn’t succeed in leaving with Michael or reaching Sonny, unfortunately.  I thought, “Soonnnyyy, you’re in trouubblllle.  Cause when the mother-in-law turns on you, life’s gonna get rough!”  Just wait until Bobbie finds out Sonny shot Carly in the head!  I find it satisfying when the women stand up to Sonny, like Carly, Bobbie, Faith, Liz and Courtney.  Lucky for me it happens often since he spends so much time trying to control them.

Bobbie warns Sonny about the dire consequences of not playing

nice with an angry mother-in-law.

I don’t feel a need to be reasonable about Sonny’s irrationality, but I think Carly should.  She should understand that Sonny’s dealing with an overwhelming emotional roadblock as the baby’s birth looms ever closer.  Sonny has to let go of the belief that he’ll never have a family or be happy because his loved ones always die and accept his child into his heart, mind and life.  I understand his mindset even while I don’t agree with how he’s handling it.  Carly, however, couldn’t handle Michael’s birth in the same way and she ran away for three months leaving Michael with Jason.  As a fan, I feel justified in watching Sonny and saying he’s behaving badly (well, I said moron but let’s not quibble) but Carly should feel some empathy. 

Carolyn says I’m being unreasonable and I can’t have it both ways.  Because first I complained that the strong women have turned into wide-eyed adoring puppy dogs wagging their tales and following their men around while the men facilitate storylines, and now I’m complaining that several of the men have lost their brains.  Let me do a rundown. 

Sonny

Sonny, Sonny, Sonny.  “Carly has gone to Alcazar several times.  What if I can’t get past it?” Sonny asked Jason.  I had to holler at the screen the words I wanted Jason to say, “Sonny, get over it!  You’re driving me crazy.”  Sonny didn’t listen to a darn thing I told him because he steadily worsened all week.

Jason thinks, “He walks and talks but he ain’t got no sense.” 

Sonny to Alcazar (pointing guns at each other):  Go ahead, do it, I’m not afraid to die. 

Alcazar to Sonny:  Yeah, I’ll take a bullet for Carly. Go ahead, shoot me.

Carly in a small voice in the background:  “Hey fellas?  Woman in labor here.  Could you check your priorities?  Cause shooting each other isn’t doing me a whole lot of good!

Sonny snarls, “I watch Westerns and the good guy always wins.”

Alcazar sneers, “Yeah, well I’m wearing a black leather Matrix coat

and I move so fast they have to slow down the film speed.” 

The kicker came on Friday when Sonny, justifiably scared witless at hearing Carly screaming inside the house, entered, aimed his gun at Alcazar and shot him.  Great Sonny, you’re terrified for your wife and unborn child but don’t you think that shooting a gun anywhere in Carly’s general vicinity when she’s in the process of delivering your son is the stupidest move you’ve ever made?  Judgment:  Jerk and Moron. 

Alcazar

“You are truly unique.  You are stubborn and relentless.  And though you may not admit it, you are full of hope, Carly.  For yourself and for your child.”  Carly explained for the 152^nd time that she loves Sonny and then screamed through another labor pain.  Not to mention the Lily-Lookalike haunting and plane sabotage, yet he thinks he can convince Carly of his devotion.  Judgment:  Obsessed Moron

Darn, Carly, I’m just a helpless guy.

Where’s the baby supposed to come out?

Ric

Ric, looks good in his suits, but apparently has lost IQ points hanging around the PCPD.  He’s so busy trying to take down Sonny he’s fantasizing crime scenarios.  He sat by Courtney’s bedside and insisted he was doing his job as he speculated that Sonny followed Carly to the house and pushed her down the stairs right after Courtney told him that she’d been with Carly who said she was alone and fell down the stairs.  Ric, however, couldn’t hear what really happened because he’d shifted to that place in his head where people go when they’re replaying an argument and they make the most cutting remarks verbally slaying their opponent.  Ric was playing a tape in his head where he succeeded in taking Sonny down.  Same goal he’s always had, different scenario.  Or, as Katrina and Carolyn might say, SSDD.  Yep, I know what it means; hope you do too, ‘cause I’m not spelling it out.  Judgment:  Delusional Moron

Ric slips into the fantasy world in his head.

“And then I told Sonny, ‘You’re under arrest big bro’ and Sonny

began to cry out of fear.  And I said in a mean voice…”

“Hey, are you guys listening to me?  I’m just doing my job.”

Jax

Not that I’m drawn to Sam or her mannerisms yet, but I felt bad for her as Jax tried to teach her etiquette in a way that made her look stupid.  I’m sure it’s my perception of him, but Jax always seems to believe he’s superior to those around him.  Rubs me wrong.  Judgment:  Arrogant Moron 

Now I realize that I’ve been rough on a couple major league soap hunks so let me qualify my moron diatribe by saying that Dillon, Coleman, Luke, Zander and Nik kept all their IQ points.  Jason received moron probation this week.  On the one hand, he didn’t buy into Sonny’s leave my family for their own good routine, but he didn’t tell Sonny to quit acting like a jerk and straighten up either. 

During my teenage years, I had a friend who survived several car-demolishing accidents in her multiple cars.  It wasn’t that she was careless; in fact, she’s an amazingly responsible person who just seemed to drive around projecting scary car vibes.  Maybe it was bad car karma, I don’t know.  Courtney seems to have the same problem.  What dingbat gave that girl keys to a vehicle?  Courtney + Car + Emergency Situation + Bad Weather.  Did anyone NOT guess she’s was going to have an accident?

I keep saying Courtney needs a life.

Defensive driving classes might make a good hobby. 

I bet Tamara Braun is throwing a celebration party that she won’t have to wear the prego pillow after this week.  Because this is a guy soap, she’ll be right back into regular clothes with her perfect body and flat tummy minutes after birthing baby, Morgan Morgan.  (Since Jason and Courtney Morgan will be providing infant foster parenting, he’s Morgan Morgan in my eyes until Carly and Sonny come and claim him.)  Except now Carly will have to lay coma-still in a hospital bed for the next few weeks while everybody acts emotional around her bedside.  Lying perfectly still and not responding for hours on end has to be difficult for an actor.  Tamara Braun should receive an award for hardest working team player on GH.

http://www.abcmedianet.com/shows03/daytime/gh/lead.shtml

Sonny emotes.  Lorenzo emotes..

Carly dreams she’s kissing Alcazar in a really short dress. 

The Q’s were granted larger than usual amounts of screen time this week.  A.J. birddogged Jax and Sam; Edward attempted to send Dillon to military school; Skye and Ned strolled through Lila’s rose garden to play kissy face; Monica informed Emily that her asymptomatic cancer had gone into remission; and Alan, walking with a cane, sat by Courtney’s bedside in the emergency room after her accident.  Yep, it was a good week for the Q’s.  Luke called ‘em accurately when he told Skye, “They’re a seething mass of intergenerational dysfunction.”

Can’t bash the Q’s when I’m glad to see them! 

Anyone who believes that Skye only wants to be friends with Jax “in a better place” raise your hand.  Anyone intrigued by the promise of Skye and Luke plotting together write a letter to the actors and tell them so.

Pool table No. 3’s open.  Want an appointment? 

General Walker Perry, Commandant of the Stonewall Military Academy set back military school reputations everywhere.  “Do I understand?  Having met your mother, yes I believe I do.”  “Can I see straight through you?  Yes I can.  Should you be worried?  Well that’s up to you, because this time tomorrow, you belong to me.”  “Can you fool me?  No, you can not.”  “Have we created fine strong young men from worse kids than you?  Yes.  Do they learn to appreciate military life?  If they want to survive, they do.”  He kept me laughing and as long as I don’t have to endure him as a regular character, great job, fun casting.  He certainly beats the heck outta (thank goodness she’s not on contract) Judge Farmer.

Do I look silly with this riding crop?  Yes, I believe you do. 

Georgie with a pillow under her shirt cracked me up. 

For Halloween I’m going to dress as a pregnant teen while

Dillon addresses the sadness in society by dressing

as a woman in mourning.  Really Sir, we’re deep teenagers in love. 

Wasn’t Edward cute in his bow tie?

He’s cute but he can’t be trusted. 

I’d planned to make a MISSING:  HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN poster for Gia this week but then she showed up looking lovely on Wednesday. 

I don’t get any scenes because now I’m smart. 

For the first time since arriving in P.C. Lydia drew me in as she discussed her divorce and future with Lucky at Kelly’s.  Come to think of it, I liked Lucky too.  Lydia acted like a real person concerned about her future and where she wants to go.  Lucky acted like a real friend - laidback, lowkey, drinking coffee and hanging out.  The dance in front of the jukebox added the perfect touch to spending time together on a stormy day.  If I can see more of the Lydia and Lucky I saw on Wednesday, I definitely will change my current not very high opinion of them.

Hey, won’t ya play, another somebody done somebody wrong song.

And make me feel at home, cause I miss my baby. 

When Emily informed Zander and Nik that she refused to choose, words like wishy-washy brat ran through my head.  Later, when she announced that she planned to attend medical school so she wouldn’t have time for either of them, I was a bit mollified but not much.  At least she had the grace to acknowledge that she’d been unfair to both of them.  The kicker here is that she’s set the pendulum of love in motion so even if she steps away from both guys, they will refuse to back away from her.  Spoilers say she’ll be makin’ Halloween whoopee with Niko so her declaration of independence only lasts about a week.

http://www.abcmedianet.com/shows03/daytime/gh/lead.shtml

This is how it goes.  Em visits the love shack with Nik.

Zander reconnects with Liz.

And pretty soon, there’s sex in every corner. 

This week’s column devotes the most space to the Four Muskemobsters.  Sorry about that, usually I try to even it out.  I’m glad to see the other storylines, but the birth of Carly’s baby made the biggest drama.   

Let’s tip toe through the tulips in a field of lovely spoilers. 

Sonny has a moment of revelation and decides to give Jason his territory. (GHFF)

I bet there was a mighty big meeting behind the scenes where Steve Burton said he’d take the territory as long as he didn’t have to dress like Sonny.  This should be interesting.   

Zander and Nicholas create a set of rules before they begin their battle for Emily. (GHFF)

If the rules include drinking at Jake’s I’m all for it but I’m not sure if Emily’s worth their angst and energy. 

Mikey is angry with his father.(GHH2)

Yeah, when Daddy shoots Mommy, it tends to mix a kid up. 

Alcazar threatens to kill Faith when he sees her near Carly.(GHH2)Alcazar threatens Faith.  Sonny threatens Faith whenever he sees her for the heck of it.  Jason threatens Faith on Sonny’s behalf.  Carly, Courtney and Liz threaten Faith verbally and physically.  Pretty much, sucks to be Faith. 

Into every life dumb commercials must come.  Some irritate me while others make me laugh every time for no good reason.  I don’t know why, but they do.  Do they affect you the same way?   

Geoffrey the Giraffe from Toys R Us in the helium balloon and talking in a helium voice.  Helium’s funny no matter how old I am. 

The guy in a brown suit at a party holding a bowl of almonds, stuffing his face until his cheeks are full while others stand around looking at him in amazement.  He stuffs a few more into his mouth, rocks on his heels and sorta smiles trying to act normal.  Each time I see this commercial about Snicker’s Almond Bars, I wonder if the actor really liked almonds and how many takes he had to do. 

There’s a Listerine Pocket Packs ad where jurors are supposed to be deciding a case but instead they’re discussing new spearmint Pocket Packs.  I love the guy who says, “I love spearmint.”  I don’t know why I like his voice but I do.  Every time. 

You know the Febreze commercial where the lady is running madly around her house throwing herself on furniture because it smells so good?  I can relate to the silliness of dancing and smiling over a simple little thing because I lean towards exuberance myself.   

Is anyone watching the One Minute Soaps on SoapNet?  I think they’re kinda cute.   

How about the new show with Vanessa Marcil and Josh Duhamel, Las Vegas?  It’s quick and intense in a Miami Vice kinda way without the funky suits.  I’m enjoying that show because I lived in Las Vegas for many years so it brings back memories.  Comments anyone?

So far, so good.

Primetime doesn’t usually keep my interest because I rarely

have time to watch any show consistently. 

For the next few weeks I plan to write a light column because my work at home is stacking up.  It feels like I am not accomplishing any task well and the perfectionist in me can’t deal.  My husband’s accounting work has stacked up until it’s stressing me constantly.  If I’m writing, I know I should be accounting and when I’m dancing with numbers (numbers are not my friends) I yearn to be writing.  Hopefully, I can enter my husband’s business information on the computer in one weekend and finally feel caught up.  I’m laughing while I type this because knowing me, I’ll start out on Saturday full of dedication and after a few hours won’t be able to help myself from taking a time out to write.  So if there’s not much from me in the next few weeks, don’t worry, I’m just dedicating my time to some backlogged work. 

May your life be filled with financial blessings and may your checkbook balance!  Thanks for stopping by.

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com

Where would I be without screen caps?  Thanks, Terry.

http://groups.msn.com/GHWorld3/shoebox.msnw

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