Hello, Hello!
It’s Angie from General Hospital Galaxy. No, I did not get lost in space, but unfortunately I will
only be coming to you as a muse writer from now on.
And, oh the musing I’ve been up to.
So sit back and prepare yourself as I attempt to unravel the depths of
Port Charles and other galaxies far far away.
A
week ago we stranded ten civilians in their spacious mansion where they were
forced to survive occasional staff revolts, tantrums from Cook, and more
importantly each other. I’m your host Reginald the Butler, join me as we discover
who will be the first to go. And
now, let’s meet the contestants.
Edward
Quartermaine: Patriarch of the Q family. He
enjoys bribery and blackmailing fellow contestants.
Lila
Quartermaine: Adored Grandmother of the group.
Famous quote: “Stuff a sock in it Edward!”
Alan
Quartermaine: Eldest son of Edward and Lila, recently found himself confronted
by an ex lover with illegitimate daughter in tow.
Monica
Quartermaine: Alan’s wife, though who knows for how much longer.
Rae
Cummings: Infamous ex lover of Alan’s who brought Alan and Monica the perfect
gift for their second wedding. And
no, it wasn’t a blender.
Skye
Chandler: Alan and Rae’s love child who has busied herself with forming an
alliance with Edward.
AJ
Quartermaine: Self-proclaimed black sheep of the family, always up for a good
laugh.
Ned
Ashton: Wannabe rock star who just threw away the best thing that ever happened
to him, enjoys Sonny-bashing and catching Edward in a lie.
Emily
Bowen Quartermaine: Yeah, I know. She’s
supposed to hunting down her deviant, but this is a much more interesting
setting than that damn bridge.
Chloe
Morgan: Yes, it’s “the” Chloe Morgan, “the” designer. Distant cousin
to Lila, enjoys not having a life since an expedition with Stefan Cassadine.
DAY
ONE
*A
catfight ensues when Alan must choose between Monica and Rae as a partner for a
reward challenge.
*Lila
and Chloe win the challenge and are rewarded with a teaparty in the rose garden.
*Skye
decides she prefers Emily’s bedroom, and the teen is enraged when she realizes
that Skye has taken down her Backstreet Boys poster.
*The
group must survive on delivery pizza when AJ criticizes Cook’s ability to
prepare rice.
*Our
special nightlife cameras catch Edward sneaking a midnight snack of rocky road
ice cream.
DAY
TWO
*Chloe
and Ned are shocked when they receive notice that the L&B building is being
shut down. They then realize that
neither one of them has been there for the past three months.
*AJ
shows Skye a nifty trick. One
alcoholic to another he shows Skye just how amusing it is to play drunk.
*The
gig lasts for an hour when Monica snaps after a bout with Rae and reaches for
Skye’s vodka, and gets a mouthful of water.
*It’s
a sad day in the Quartermaine clan when Ned attempts to regrow the caterpillar
under his lip.
*In
a surprising turn of events, Edward wins the immunity challenge by being the
last to remain in the living quarters after strategically driving everyone else
out of the room with his belittling banter.
DAY
THREE
Reginald:
As you know, every three days, one member of the clan must be voted out of the
mansion. In a most ungracious
victory, Edward has won immunity. So,
Ed, how does it feel?
Edward:
Well, Reginald, I feel very solid in my position right now.
In fact, I fully plan on being the last one here.
Why, how pathetic would it be if –
Lila:
Oh, hush Edward.
Reginald:
Well put Lila. Now Emily, how hard have you found it to cope with your new
relative?
Emily:
I guess you’re talking about that skank that ripped my poster off the wall.
I mean, that should be a crime or something.
Kevin is just too hot. I
think he looks exactly like Zander. Do
you know Zander? He’s my
boyfriend. Well, sort of. I mean I know he will totally forgive me after I explain to
him what Grandfather did. We’ll
be back together soon. For sure.
Reginald:
Right…well, on that note, it’s time to vote.
Alan, you’re first.
Alan heads out of the living room, into
the front hall. Picking up a
fountain pen, he writes a name on a sheet of freshly printed paper that displays
the ELQ letterhead.
N-E-D
Alan:
Well, this was not a hard decision to make.
I mean, why is he here anyway? He’s
always hanging around the house trying to start something with Father.
And did you know he broke up with Alexis? What’s wrong with this guy?
He shoves the paper in an ELQ briefcase
and heads back. AJ is the next to vote.
AJ:
No comment.
Monica is next. Carefully she spells out:
C-H-L-O-E
Monica:
Wow, was this a tough decision. I
mean sure, Rae is this ex lover of Alan’s, and I would like nothing more than
to kick her butt back to Llanview, but did you see that hideous thing
Chloe created for me to wear on the night I was renewing my vows?
And she was nearly an hour late. I
can’t believe I got myself excited over that.
Maybe when she gets out of here, she can go to Milan and retake Fashion
101.
Skye follows. Quickly she spells out:
R-A-E
Skye:
I don’t really need to explain do I?
She gives her famous smirk and walks away.
Lila wheels in and casts her vote. Chloe is next.
She daintily prints out:
N-E-D
Chloe:
Well, this vote was going to be for Edward, but now I’ve decided that Ned has
got to go. I mean ever since he
broke up with Alexis, he’s been coming on to me.
But it’s all right, because I know he just misses Alexis.
If Ned gets voted out tonight, I hope he realizes that he and Alexis are
meant to be. They belong together.
I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to keep saying that before
someone believes me. I mean, I
could so have Rae’s job. Look at
all the hearts I’ve mended. Soon
Ned and Alexis will be back together. And I really think my talk with Mac and Felicia after the
Nurses Ball did a lot of good. Sure,
Mac didn’t see the genius of my ways at first, but I’m convinced it was my
advice that has him running after Felicia now.
It’s funny how I couldn’t keep my own boyfriend from leaving me to
search for his dead wife…
Ned comes back to vote, followed by Rae.
Edward is the last contestant to cast a vote.
Z-A-N-D-E-R
Edward:
I’m voting for that hooligan Zander Smith because he is a deviant who belongs
in jail, preferably in a cell across from Sonny Corinthos.
Deviants.
He shakes his head and goes back.
Reginald:
I’ll tally the votes.
He leaves the room and reenters a few
seconds later with the ELQ briefcase.
First vote, Chloe.
Second
vote, Emily.
Third
vote, Rae
Skye:
Bye Bye Mommy dearest…
Reginald:
Next vote, Ned.
Zander
Emily jumps up from her seat on the couch.
Emily:
WHAT?! Zander’s not even here! Why
can’t any of you just give him a chance?
I hate you! I hate all of you!
AJ:
Nice going Grandfather…
Skye:
Edward! I thought we had a deal!
Reginald:
Excuse me! If we could get on with the votes…
Everyone quiets down.
Thank-you. Next vote, Monica
Skye
Skye:
Oh, I don’t think so. I just got here; I’m not going anywhere.
Reginald:
Next vote, Ned. That’s two votes, Ned.
Monica,
that’s two votes Ned, two votes Monica.
Monica:
I don’t believe this! This is my house for God’s sake!
Reginald:
Last vote, the first person voted out of the Quartermaine mansion:
NED ASHTON
Ned:
Your loss…
Reginald:
Ned, you’ll have to bring me your checkbook, the object that symbolizes your
life in the Quartermaine mansion.
Reggie takes the checkbook and throws it
into the fireplace.
Ned, the family has spoken.
Ned
exits with the tune of his performance of Simply
Irresistible playing in the background.
Well, folks that does it for us tonight.
Be sure to tune in next week to see who will be the next contestant voted
out of the Q mansion. Thank-you and goodnight.
Angie
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