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Chris D.

Because It's All About Carly

I realize that this is not going to be a popular column but I just can’t hold back any longer.  There are literally legions of GH fans who are rabid in their adoration of Carly Corinthos.  Frankly, I just don’t get it.  In my opinion, this character (definitely NOT to be confused with Tamara Braun who I happen to think is handling the role wonderfully) is THE most narcissistic  (is this a word?), self-centered and egotistical character in Port Charles.  And, believe me, that’s saying a hell of a lot.  There’s some serious competition there. 

So I just don’t get why people like her.  I mean, would you ever, in real life, want to be her friend?  How about her husband?  Is she the greatest mother you’ve ever run across in your life (or even a mediocre one)?  Seriously, I want to know.  I’ve been forced to think about Carly a lot (because I really don’t have anything to bitch about with GH lately except that pretty much the entire show seems to revolve around Carly and Sonny), have analyzed some of her relationships and am just not seeing much to write home about.  For example: 

Bobbie:  This is probably the most twisted relationship in Carly’s life.  Carly comes to town with the sole intent of ruining Bobbie’s life.  Steals Bobbie’s husband.  Attempts to pick up Bobbie’s boyfriend (Roy) in a bar one night (not for anything but just to get some quick snuggles) regardless of the repercussions on Mom.  Fakes her own death knowing darned well (but obviously not caring) that Bobbie (who for some forgotten reason has actually forgiven Carly for all of the above plus some) will be devastated.  And what has Carly done to brighten Bobbie’s life?  She wrote a mother’s day card that she didn’t even bother to mail.  Is there anything else?  I mean, every time Bobbie dares to give her some advice (which Carly usually asks for) and it isn’t exactly what Carly wants to hear, she gets nasty and Bobbie gets punished.  And why is this?  Because it’s all about Carly. 

Sonny:  I don’t even know where to begin on this one.  Let’s just hit on some of the most recent.  She turns him in to “the Feds” -- completely ignoring his chosen path in life and regardless of the danger she would obviously put him in for ratting out his goombas -- so “they” could have a normal life.  This was in no way a selfless act.  If you remember, at the time, Carly wanted a child and Sonny told her he didn’t want to bring another child into his mobster lifestyle (contrary to what we’re now hearing -- when did this suddenly change?  But I digress.)  Carly figured that the only way SHE would be able to have a child with Sonny was if his lifestyle changed.  Hence the “betrayal.”  Then, she “punishes” Sonny (not to mention several other supposedly important people in her life including her son) by staying dead because he had the audacity to sleep with Alexis while they were divorced -- a divorce, by the way, that she pushed.  Now, when all Sonny has really asked of Carly is honesty because of their previous trust issues, she almost immediately lies to him and tells him she’s having headaches instead of the infertility treatments.  Please.  Have we learned nothing here?  And why does she continue with these tactics?  Because it’s all about Carly. 

Michael:  I’m sorry but this woman is hardly a good mother to poor Michael (whichever version of him you choose).  First Tony was Daddy (in utero).  Then not Tony but Jason.  Then not Jason (the man Michael obviously loved to death and vice versa) but AJ.  Then AJ was out and “Uncle Sonny” was in.  Heck, who’ll end up waking up in Mommy’s bed next?  If Michael isn’t in therapy soon I’ll be surprised.  Carly “runs” a nightclub and seemingly never sees Michael except when his presence is necessary to conveniently tug on your “family” heartstrings when it comes to reuniting the “Corinthos” family.  I’m waiting for the day when poor Michael starts to call Leticia “Mommy”.  And I won’t go into the “fake death” implications on Michael here.  I think you know where I’m going.  Because it’s all about Carly. 

Mike:  Now here’s a situation where it appeared that she was trying to help someone by getting him to quit the gambling thing.  But at end of the day, wasn’t it just a self-serving act so she could make herself look good to Sonny?  And didn’t Sonny almost end up getting arrested during that whole fiasco?  And, refresh my memory here, but I don’t remember any fallout from this mess heading Carly’s way.  And why?  Because it’s all about Carly. 

Jason:  Jason made a comment to Liz last week about how Carly has always been there for him (which is actually what prompted this column).  What has Carly possibly done for Jason?  Had sex with him while he couldn’t have it with Robin?  Dumped her newborn baby on his doorstep, let him pretty much make this child his life and then ripped Michael from him by dragging the child to live with the Q’s and, in the process, shredding what little reputation Jason may have had by telling some pretty nasty lies about him abusing her?  Then, to get back at him for daring to merely dance with Liz during the time Carly was living AND having sex with AJ, she goes and has hate sex with his best friend.  Now, every time Jason has the nerve to even look at another woman, the claws come out and Carly turns into a jealous maniac.  She doesn’t want/need him at the moment so no one else is allowed to?  At this rate, Jason will never get any lovin’ (which means we don’t get to see Jason minus his clothes unless Sonny inevitably does something to piss off Carly and she needs to get back at him by running to Jason for his turn on the hate sex bandwagon.)  So is Carly a true friend to Jason?  I think not.  And why?  (Sing it with me kids...)  Because it’s all about Carly.  (Okay.  The line’s getting old.  Just assume it from here on out.) 

Laura:  Carly was supposed to be Laura’s business partner (when she decided to show up for work at all).  What does Carly do when she doesn’t get her way?  She takes a page from Sonny’s book and conveniently gets Laura out of the way.  Now granted, Laura wasn’t exactly treating Carly as a true partner, but was it REALLY necessary to lock Laura on the roof in order for Gia to be “The Face”?  And to make matters worse, Carly didn’t even have the balls to do the locking herself.  She had Gia do it for her so she, Carly, could look completely innocent in the matter.  Lovely.  I wouldn’t trust her signature on my paycheck. 

AJ:  AJ started out as Carly’s “friend”.  Some friend.  To get back at Tony for some unremembered reason, she gets this recovering alcoholic drunk, sleeps with him, bears his child, and then doesn’t tell him the child is his but claims Michael is the child of AJ’s hated brother.  When AJ finally finds out that Michael IS his child, Carly and Michael move in with the Q’s, she pretends to love AJ, lets him think she’s bearing his next child and then rubs his nose in the fact that said child is Sonny’s and leaves AJ crushed.  What, exactly, did AJ do to warrant this behavior?  Dare to want the child that Carly created with his sperm?  THEN, to make matters even worse, she (and every other character and writer on the show) conveniently blames AJ for her fall down the stairs at the Q mansion when she loses her baby with Sonny.  (Side note here.  Correct me if I’m wrong on this.  AJ grabs Carly’s arm on the stairs at the Q mansion.  Carly yanks her arm away to get away from him.  Yet it’s AJ’s fault that Carly fell and subsequently lost the baby?  However, Carly grabs Alexis’ arm outside of Kelly’s.  Alexis yanks her arm away to get away from Carly.  Yet it’s NOT Carly’s fault that Alexis fell and could have possibly lost her baby?  See where I’m going here?)  So while I don’t exactly like AJ’s tactics to get Michael back now, you have to admit that Carly has brought this wrath upon herself. 

Zander:  Now here is where I actually thought Carly was on the road to redemption.  I thought that we could see Carly in a relationship where she was giving as much as she was receiving.  But when it finally came down to it, she used Zander just as she used (and now still uses) Jason.  Let’s face it, Zander inflated her already overly inflated ego after she’d been dumped by Sonny.  Carly told Sonny that she’d been kissed by “someone” and put Zander in a very difficult position by testing his loyalty to Sonny.  Then, knowing how Zander felt about her, she exploited this attraction in every possible way.  And, lastly, after she saw Sonny with Alexis, she went to use Zander NOT because she had feelings for him but because she knew it would piss off Sonny if Sonny found out about the two of them being together.  All qualities a guy should be looking for in a girlfriend, huh? 

Lucas:  Does he even know he has a sister?  Does Carly even know how old Lucas is?  Do we? 

So let’s bottom line this.  I’ve come to the conclusion that the only possible reasons that anyone could possibly love the character of Carly is because a) she’s thin and pretty (of which I’m definitely envious but not enough to like her) or b) somewhere deep down everyone wants to be able to have their lives and all the lives around them be all about them. 

Please don’t get me wrong.  I don’t necessarily “hate” the character of Carly but I think any redeeming personality traits are lacking here.  But I’m open to listening to anyone else’s opinion.  So, in your best adult, non-abusive manner, tell me about Carly’s good qualities.  But please be gentle -- and by this I mean no personal attacks on me, my children or my mother, please. 


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