This week's Muse Column is provided by:
 Chris

            I want to start this column on a rare and much needed and welcome positive note.  In the past few weeks I’ve actually begun to enjoy watching General Hospital again (did I actually say the words “enjoy” and “General Hospital” in the same sentence???)  I’ve gone home after work every night actually looking forward to rewinding my tape, turning off the world and tuning in to the happenings in Port Charles.  God help me but I believe I see Bob Guza’s hand in a lot of the current dialogue and, while I’m not and have never been a big Guza fan, I am, at the moment, incredibly grateful for his return.  (But if he screws with my Luke and Laura reunion, heads will roll...)   

Before I get started on my usual nits, I need to finish off what I started last time.  In my last column I asked for you all to tell me anything GOOD about General Hospital.  (Please note:  for the record, my last column was before the Guza and, more importantly, the Jason return announcements, which, in my mind, changes EVERYTHING.)  I got some great comments but, to be honest, not as many thoughts on what you liked about GH as I had hoped.  (Now whether that’s because no one else could come up with anything or it’s just that my column sucked is open to debate...)  However, here’s what some of you think:
 

• Jamie writes:  We finally saw “a glimpse of the real Alexis ... when she finally let Sonny have it and was not gonna stand there for ‘the privilege of him yelling at her.’”  Got to agree with you there, Jamie.  Only problem I have is that, at that time, it was merely a glimpse so I’m not so sure this is a “good thing” as opposed to a tease.  This kind of a scene only makes me miss the Old Alexis more.  HOWEVER, after the past few days I’m very hopeful that we’ll be seeing more of the Old Alexis we all came to know and love before the emergence of Pod Alexis.

• Keirsten and KWC totally cracked me up with their angles on “good”.  Keirsten says:  “At least the make-up department consistently puts all of Sonny’s numerous war wound scars in the right places.”  Since there are so many unsuccessful attempts on his life especially in the past 2 years, this is quite an accomplishment, I agree.  KWC adds:  “The costume designer dresses people with bad taste on a consistent manner.”  Think about how totally true this is.  Just another instance where if we didn’t know anything about these characters we, as the stupid viewers, would HAVE to understand them based on their attire.  How would we ever know that Bobbie is an aging retired hooker if we didn’t see her in clothes that came out of Maxie’s wardrobe instead of in clothes age appropriate or in, God forbid, a nurse’s uniform?

• Finally, and this actually jives with what I believe is, next to Luke and Laura, the best thing about GH:  Jax with his shirt off.  Don’t want to fight that mental picture...

I’m going to try to remember to ask this question again in, let’s say, six months and see if the responses are any different or, at the very least, if there are more of them.  (Frankly I highly doubt the shirtless Jax comment will be removed from the list, but that’s just me with this image now firmly implanted in my brain for the remainder of the day.) 

            Now, I want to get this out of the way.  I’m about to retract a comment that I felt pretty strongly about in my last column.  The statement was: “I want Liz and Lucky back together.”  Two things have happened since I spewed this to make me completely change my mind.  First and foremost:  everything “Lucky” in the past two weeks.  I have liked absolutely NOTHING about the character, his Anger Boy attitude and, I’m sorry to say, Jacob Young and, if I could somehow manage it, would permanently delete Lucky from my screen until Jonathan Jackson returns to bring some normalcy back to the role.  I’m fairly proud of the fact that I’ve been pretty accepting of all recasts -- trying very hard to give people time to fit into the roles and, in some cases, the huge shoes of the previous actors in those roles.  I try to look at the story, not the actor.  I have given JY the benefit of the doubt from the beginning regardless of how talented and wonderful I thought JJ was as Lucky.  But the past few weeks have sealed JY’s fate FOR ME.  When I saw his pitiful attempt at a tortured James Dean right before he and Sarah somehow magically developed this mutual heat for each other behind Jake’s, I knew I was done with him.  But beyond even the actor, I’m bored and disgusted with Anger Boy.  Yes, Nik paid a witness to lie about who ran the red light.  Blah, blah, blah.  But would it have changed Liz’s injuries if Courtney ran the light instead of Gia?  And having been on the receiving end of a Helena ambush, you would think Lucky would be a tad more understanding of the rock/hard place situation Nik was in when he was forced to help her escape.  Hell, even Luke understands.  Give it a freakin’ rest.  And why is Sarah excused from any blame in this situation?  (Well, now we KNOW why but let’s forget about that for a second.)  She KNEW that Gia didn’t have a blood alcohol test and kept her mouth shut.  Why doesn’t Lucky feel betrayed by this?  Because he may get some?  Please.  Anyway, the second reason I’m taking back my comment is pretty simple and if I would have known this prior to my last column I would have never made the original statement:  (say it with me, now) Jason is coming back.  I LOVED Liz and Jason together. (whether it’s just because I like them together or if it’s the fact that I lust after Steve Burton is irrelevant).  Liz was so much more fun around Jason (hell, who wouldn’t be?) and the chemistry between the two actors was great!!  On the flip side, in my opinion Rebecca Herbst and JY have no chemistry period.  (Actually the only one that I think JY has chemistry with is NuNik, but let’s not go there, K?)  I liked the tender side of Jason that Liz brought out -- kind of like Robin but not so pure and judgmental.  And if neither of the previous reasons work for you as to why I have officially resigned from the Liz and Lucky camp, just let me say this:  I’m blond (and some of it is actually natural, or used to be) and pregnant and can take back anything I want with no explanations necessary.  My husband and I refer to this as my pregnancy trump card.  Deal with it.                         

Okay, that now said, let me nitpick.
 

• I totally and completely believe that Nik is sincere when he says how sorry he is about the whole red light affair.  But what I don’t understand is if he’s so sorry, why doesn’t he just admit to Liz and Lucky WHAT it was that he did?  And can Gia be any less apologetic about being the SOLE reason that Nik in now alienated from everyone he loves?

• If Lucky and Sarah didn’t want to hurt “Lizzie” then they shouldn’t have kissed AT ALL.  Bottom line.

• Has anyone else noticed the new black and white intermission photos of Lucky on the motorcycle?  Refresh my hormonal memory -- weren’t the Jason photos also with him on a bike?  Please.  Lucky should be on a scooter.

• I feel like I was robbed of a big part of the AJ/Courtney courtship.  Last we saw before they went on the rich kid lam, as it were, Courtney had made it pretty clear to AJ that they were just buds (or did I fast forward through something?)  Next thing we know there are pictures flying around the internet of Courtney under satin sheets and they’re married.  I think the missing weeks could have really showcased Billy Warlock’s abilities if we could have seen how AJ actually seduced Courtney.

• Could Courtney act more like a child at the Q mansion?  Even my 3-year old can say more than “Okay” or “Uh-huh” when spoken to by a grown-up.

• Is one lost battle in his war with Sonny a good enough reason for AJ to start drinking again?  I think not.  At least the writers could have waited until Courtney dumps him and he realizes he loves her before he hit the bottle again.  Seems to me that AJ fought pretty hard for his sobriety and to throw it away on something like this was kind of insulting to the character. 

• If Alexis can tip toe around the truth to the PCPD with regard to whether or not Carly locked Skye in the boat shed, why couldn’t she have danced the same type of dance with Sonny when he asked her if she knew where Courtney and AJ were? 

• And I don’t get the connection between AJ and Duke in Sonny’s mind other than to a) give Sonny a “moral” reason to go after AJ or 2) give Sonny more air time.  Can someone explain this comparison for me?

• I’ve figured out who has the Ice Princess (which seemed to mysteriously disappear after “Endgame”).  It HAS to be Alexis.  From what I read here and there on the message boards (note dripping sarcasm to follow), she’s so old and sexually unattractive that the ONLY way Sonny would go to bed with her is if he were brainwashed a la Lucky.  CUT THE WOMAN SOME SLACK, PEOPLE.

• I would say a lot of things but one thing I would never say is that, contrary to what Kristina thinks, Alexis and Kristina are similar.  I can’t think of anything further from the truth.

• Again, let me get this straight.  The mob boss’s door is not only NOT guarded (Johnny, where are you?) but is open?  Please.

• Note to Monica:  SONNY didn’t ruin Jason’s life -- AJ did when he rammed the car into the tree.  Sonny is just a convenient excuse.

• I LOVED the 10,000th episode show.  But while I thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it, I left feeling cheated.  It all just emphasized how great GH used to be AND how great it can still be but the actors that were part of that awesome time who are still around are being completely wasted.  Now whether it’s an “age” issue or what, I don’t want to debate, but I wish someone would recognize again the talents of the likes of Denise Alexander, Leslie Charleston, John J. York, god help me Kristina Wagner (the BJ’s heart scenes reminded me of her potential given decent writing) and even Tony Geary and Genie Francis.  Everyone has their list, I’m sure, but I would have liked to have seen some pics of Tracy Q, Joe Kelly and Faison.  And how about the scenes of Tracy Q standing over Edward’s supposedly dead body or Lucky’s first scene trapped in the silver room after the fire?

And as a final thought, some lines of amusement over the past couple of weeks:
 

• Did the words “willy nilly” actually come out of Mac’s mouth?

• Helena to Alexis and Kristina:  “Well, the bastards are here!  Come in!”

• Lila to Janine:  “Keep your hands off my husband.”

• And my favorite line of the week, by Janine to the Q’s:  “This is FABU!!”

Once again, thanks for reading and I’d love your comments.  Take care!

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