This week's Muse Column is provided by:
 Sherry Mercurio

Angel, to Sonny:  "My love for my father died when I found out he was going after you (or something to that effect - I think a "final straw" might have been mentioned)", Lonnie or Donnie or whatever Mr. Ellis's name was, would be thrilled to hear that his untimely demise didn't rate the same feelings.  I think for a millisecond I actually wondered if that was some clue meant to point me in the direction of seeing that she has a hidden agenda then I realized that was way too much for the writers at large to keep track of.  Even if that is what they meant to do they will forget about the whole thing by tomorrow anyway, so I might as well do the same. 
I have decided to stop expecting anything that makes much sense to come out of most characters mouths and try to enjoy the scattered moments of humor and the even harder to find moments of good acting.  That (the good acting being hard to find, I mean) would mostly be due to the fact that it seems like about 80% of time there is someone on screen that anyone who stopped watching 6 months ago wouldn't recognize.  A great indicator of that is the new opening which, while well done and overdue given the changes lately, still makes me a little depressed.  It feels like there are way too many characters that I just plain don't like or that are so new I can't possibly have a clue what they are really doing on my screen.  And conversely it makes me sad to see the ones I do like who have a rich history and know that my chances of seeing much of them on any given day are right up there with the chances that Melissa will turn out to be a psycho.  My gosh, I am actually missing Bobbie a little and trust me that's a sign of severe problems!
But back to the trying to enjoy isolated moments thing (as you can tell it takes some effort on my part!), I have found that if I just take certain scenes completely out of context, which, by the way isn't all that hard since most of them seem to be intended to be taken out of context, I can enjoy them as stand alones.  Now let me preface these ramblings by saying that I am not in any way implying that I should have to do this in order to enjoy GH - in fact it really ticks me off that I have to work so hard to find a positive thing to say.  But, lets face it, if you love the show and have a history of enjoyment from it then sometimes you might be willing (for a time anyway) to get a little creative with things in order to not have to give up completely.  Like I tell my kids, you have to love the dog even when it's peeing on your slippers (yes, my dog actually peed on my slippers when I brought my second baby home, apparently one was her unspoken limit) or......wait, maybe I was telling the dog that you have to love the kids even when they are peeing through every diaper man has made........whichever it was, you get the point.  And to be honest, for me it is partly just the fact that I am afraid I will miss something good if I quit watching.  Once you read about or hear from someone else what already happened it's just too late - the moment is gone and you can't get it back, that's the beauty and frustration of soaps for me.  So for now, I will be wading around in the muck almost everyday anyway, and I will try to filter out those few moments that have some entertainment value.  Here goes a few of the recent moments I was able to enjoy on one level or another, keep in mind that I don't necessarily mean I would have enjoyed them under normal GH conditions but times are anything but normal............
Lucky telling Liz repeatedly that he couldn't give a rip about her and her subsequent shock (hello? She saw it happen) everytime he said it.  Sorry all you Liz likers, but I couldn't help but enjoy what for me was a well deserved comeuppance - heck everyone else in town has suffered for her and Lucky - it's finally her turn.  As a side note,  the poor girl has "baby on board" written all over her and a bust three sizes bigger than she used to and no one is even trying to disguise it, they should have just had brainswoggled Lucky tell her he would love her more if she looked more like Auntie Boobie and had her disappear for awhile to get a little "addition" on top.  Look out below cause here comes a catty comment, but can she get makeup that is just a little whiter and lipstick that is just a little redder - please?  Liz fans:  don't get all mad at me, I'm not blaming her.  Believe me, I threw up for 7 1/2 of the 9 months with both of my kids so I know what pale looks like but I can't believe that they can't do something to help her out instead of accenting the problem!
Gia "serving" Helena dessert.   Nobody should get away with doing something like that to Helena but I had to admire the effort of both actresses, the shock on both of their faces was priceless really.   I am enjoying MR's efforts more all the time.
Carly and Sonny.  Yep, I've found a way to enjoy it.  If I just watch MB's face and try to pick out the moments when I can really tell he just wants to stop and shake his head and then crack up laughing like I already am, then I find it gets me through the scenes.   Watching him keep a straight face while TB is flailing and while they are both subjected to saying the same damn things over and over and over and over again, it's almost like watching a cartoon.  Overly dramatic talk about something that is just not all that dramatic anymore.  Sometimes I make bets with myself for a side entertainment - will they actually say something new today?  Darn if I don't lose everytime!  Some of the lines they are saying would be funny except that they are coming so late, like all the "white" jokes Carly is spewing about Angel- I believe they have been stolen straight off the message boards. 
Alexis - As usual just watch her and you're entertained, enough said.
Sorel's Murder - I honestly couldn't give a crap who killed Sorel, I have a mild interest in how they are actually going to go about telling us who did it... but that's about it.  I don't really understand how we are supposed to care about someone getting killed that we were supposed to dislike so much anyway - plus half the suspects adapted their sudden intense motives to kill him basically overnight in my opinion.  I'm gonna be really mad when it's "none of the above" revealed as the killer and I fear it's gonna happen..........
Guessing which newbie will have which connections to which people - Monte Carlo and it's surrounding area must really be hurting the way Port Charles is stealing all it's best "players", such a young, fast crowd they are!  Baccarat (got no clue how to spell that, sorry!) one day, Kelly's chili the next, who knew?  Thus far the trend seems to be at least two connections to current or returning PC citizens per newbie though Kristina must be very special because she hasn't left Jax's room and she already has three established connections - it truly is a small world.
Counting how many days Carly was wearing that outfit! - You know the one I mean.  I don't have the exact count but I know for a fact that several people changed their outfits several times while she was still wearing it - I was pretty sure that more than 24 hrs passed between Sorel's murder and Carly and Sonny and Angel being at the police station, I distinctly remember Angel saying something to the effect of her father "died last night" to Jax so that would verify at least one night passed.  What the heck was Carly doing, running around in the same clothes for days on end?  I almost didn't recognize her when she showed up in something new all of the sudden, those crazy writers (or would that be wardrobe??) are just messing with my mind .
Waiting for Carly to say the word: Leticia  - it really cracks me up.  Oh and I also like waiting for her to do that look -that I swear she stole from my dog - when she gets interrupted or is just ticked (I guess that's what it's supposed to be) and she stops cold and stares at people with her head cocked to the side.  My dog does it when she thinks you're teasing her. 
Wondering how long it's going to take before someone gets really concerned about Luke.  Unless I missed it, which is possible because I have been a little liberal with the FF button lately, no one seems to notice he's gone.  Roy and Melissa haven't even put on their capes and taken a spin over the city for a quick perusal and we all know if they aren't concerned about you then you're in big trouble since they are the EMS/Firemen/Detectives/Peacekeepers/King and Queen of Threats/Musicians/Outdoor Survivalists etc. etc. etc............. What about Tony, now that he knows look was injected with something why isn't he worried about what Luke's up to?
Guess who is going to hook up with who!  As far as I can tell it's all up for grabs.  No one is happy, secure or satisfied with what they have so it looks like a free for all in the love department.  Is the new nurse the intended love interest for Zander?  Are they feeling out the response to her before they go ahead with it or is she really just an extra?  Does everyone but me already know that she has been signed to an 18 year contract?  Is Angel gonna stick with Sonny or keep flashing Jax??  And, I mean come on, she hasn't even seen half of PC yet - AJ, Ned, Nikolas, Lucky, Stefan ...... the possibilities are endless.  Same goes for Kristina though we can all pretty much see the direction that's going and if that results in trouble for Alexis well, look out cause I won't sit still for it!  Carly - keep following Sonny around or move on to oh, I don't know....Taggert maybe?  It's just riveting when you really think about it.  (Yes, I am kidding - please don't actually think about it at all or your head will probably explode, you've been warned!)
So there it is, the tactic I am taking as of late.  I am watching the show with an entirely different eye than I used to.  I find myself laughing during dramatic scenes and feel my eyes get teary during the intended comical interludes.  You just know when that cutesy, peppy tune comes on that Roy and Melissa are just around the corner giggling away.  Like I said though, I think it can be done.  I think you can keep watching even though it is a bit painful at times.  Take this chance to admire the great actors that are still turning in good performances despite what is coming from their mouths and use it to hone up on quickly being able to weed out the bad actors so as not to waste a minute of your time on the next one to show up.  Replace the batteries in the remote and mark the FF button with a dot of red paint so you can find it at a moments notice and then sit back and um.........enjoy? 

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