(Pssst.  It's Cameron Mathison and Cynthia Preston... what a team, eh?)

On a recent episode, following his vow to God that if Michael lived, he'd reunite his family (that God still gives Sonny the time of day after all of his broken solemn vows is beyond me), Sonny said, "I'm not giving up until Michael gets the family he needs."  Foster care immediately came to mind.

Although I am not a fan of Carly and Lorenzo as a couple (Lorenzo just gets way too sappy and desperate around Carly for my tastes), I had to agree with him yesterday when he pointed out that Michael was growing up to be just like Sonny.  Ironically, the first time I typed that sentence, I accidentally wrote "Carly is growing up to be just like Sonny," which may have been even more truthful.  Like many, I found the scene in which Sonny goads Carly to shoot Alcazar to be nothing short of sickening.  They say that if you live around someone long enough, you start to look like them.  Evidently, you start to act like them as well, treating life as irrelevant unless it's your own and believing that you have to right, nay, responsibility, to kill people who are troublesome to you.  The mob mentality rules in this family without remorse.  It was amazing when Courtney was actually being excommunicated from the family for daring to think Jason didn't have the right to kill Lorenzo.   It still amazes me that there are fans who look at the vigilante, violent, controlling, vicious mentality and say, "Oooh, I gotta get me summa dat."  They serially KILL people, not only without remorse, but with full on justification.  Sorry, but in my world that's pretty much a bad thing and for me, that snuffs out the passionate obsession factor.  There are serial killers, wife beaters and controlling spouses in real life who are devastatingly handsome, but that doesn't mean I want to hang out with them.

Personally, I look at Jason's perfectly sculpted, near "Flock of Seagulls" worthy hair and try to envision this supposedly unaffected, modest "black/white/no grey areas" kinda guy using the amount of gel and spray it would take to give his hair that degree of a hard on first thing in the morning.  Somehow, I have trouble seeing him primping over it.  Sure, I can see Steve Burton in the make up chair getting fixed up, but Jason... I just don't see it.

Annoying to no end (and I'm not the first columnist to mention it, so I know it's not just me) is the way that several of the actors who work with Maurice Benard have taken to using his inflections.  Stopping in midsentence, repeating words and inserting the long, meaningful pauses then talking really fast to make up the lost distance seems to be standard fare on GH now.  I first noticed it when Brian (pop quiz, anyone remember Brian?) was with Courtney when she lived out in the country.  Jason showed up and demanded to know why he was hanging around "my... my wi--ife."  Soon, I was noticing Carly doing it, Courtney doing it and Sam doing it as well.  When Carly was explaining to Courtney why she was moving back in with Sonny and that they were not romantically involved.  She said, "Sonny and I are parents... ... ...togetherandthat... ... ... is it.  Anything else is over."  It works for one character, but when everyone starts doing it, it sounds like a cast of caricatures, all mimicking.

In one day, we got to see Coleman and a whole pile of Q's!  All in the same episode!  It was amazing, like a flashback, sort of. I thought I had time traveled to a place and time when we had more than 6-7 cast members.  It was a beautiful moment.

Why Emily is still allowed to walk around out here with the rest of us is beyond me.  She has taken to lambasting Mary at ever turn for daring to besmirch her dead husband's memory by making out with Tyler Christopher on a regular basis.  She gives her the stink eye every time she sees her and today was ranting some garbage about protecting the poor schmuck she's seeing.  She told everyone who would listen and especially the people she shouldn't tell that Sam was pregnant.  I've never seen such a blatant breech of confidentiality, THEN she had the audacity to say that the counselor had made a mistake by telling HER.  I guess perpetuating the mistake was the best course of action.  Emily should be fired.  Sam should be highly pissed off and in the process of suing the clinic.

Can someone, anyone tell me why a bit part, day player nun is the only person on this show who makes any sense?  Her "Now WHAT?" and "You should be ASHAMED of yourself" smiting was wisdom as GH has not known since Steve died.

First, Skye sleeps with Luis and he's stabbed and shoved off a balcony.  Then Skye sleeps with Ross and he meets the business end of an ice pick.  Her underwear should have a warning label on it.  "WARNING:  Sleeping with this woman could render you stabbed, impaled and otherwise dead and I swear to God, it will take FOREVER to find out who did it.  Is a quick piece of choice drunken tail really worth it?"

I'm still deciding on whether or not I like Mac's new hair.  I need to see a lot more of it to know (hint-hint).

Jed Allen's Edward reminds me so much of David Lewis.  It's extremely endearing, even though I miss John Ingle.

Yes, there are a lot of negatives here and I didn't even realize it until I started flowing on this.  I'm sitting here blinking at the column, trying to think of some kind of nice thing to say about GH.  Here are ten:

1).  I like the pairing of Jax and Courtney. 

2).  I like Crazy Mary and Nikolas and hope they stay together.

3).  Lucky surrrre does look good in his uniform.

4).  Tracy is just a big ol' ton of fun.

5).  Skye and Luke are wonderful together.

6).  Coleman is always good for you.  I must sex him up post haste.

7).  Big Alice has been on lately and that's a wonderful thing.

8).  OH!  I know!!  I know!!

In this scene, I don't even remember what they were saying because all I could think of was "Scary Jeeeesus... Gonna gitchuuuuuuu."  It was great fun in my head.

9).  You know, I never thought I'd say it, but Kelly Monaco is doing a right fine job of acting lately.  I just wish she'd stop the thing where she drops her upper lip really far over her lower lip.  Eh.  It's my cross to bear.  Sort of like when someone mentioned Emily saying "um..." all the time and now I notice it SO MUCH MORE!  But wait!  This is supposed to be good stuff.  KM has done a fine job of playing the reluctant mom who has had her confidentiality broken and is being controlled on all sides by people who don't give a crap about her.  I'm surprised Sonny and Jax haven't started the bidding process for her little fetus. 

10).  Did I mention anything about Coleman?  Oh, OK, never mind.  Hmmm.  #10. Oh yeah!  The GH FAN WEEKEND IS LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY!  Oh how FUN to meet the EOS fans, hang with my EOS crew and people watch!  That's the MOST fun thing about GH!