I havenít had the opportunity to watch much of General Hospital these days. Iím on Eastern time, which means GH airs at 3 pm here. Just precisely the time my kindergartener and fifth grader walk in the door. Iím then bombarded with snack requests, play requests, whines, moans, ailments of all sorts, complaints, homework and most recently fundraising opportunities. General Hospital is on again at 10 pm on Soapnet, but considering Iím up at 5:45 am, I canít make it through even the first fifteen minutes of the show that late at night. And lastly, it airs the next day at 9 am on Soap Net, which is when Iím sweating profusely through a spin class on Goldís Gym. So needless to say, thereís not been much GH in my life lately.  

Thankfully Iíve been lucky enough to watch another soapÖAll My Children. I would say I Ďdabbleí in this show periodically and that with all things being equal, I like it. Itís not so much about crime and the mob and all that off the wall stuff OLTL often has to offer (time in Eterna, twins from different fathers, etc.). Itís more of a traditional soapÖlove, passion, sex, obscure parentage and good old fashion revenge.  

I must admit, todayís episode and a few of the more recent ones have hooked me. I enjoyed the scenes with Babe and Bianca in bed together because even though Lucky, I mean, JRís reaction wasnít what Iíd consider common, it was rather comical. In my personal opinion, Iím sure if my husband estranged or otherwise, would quite enjoying finding me in bed with someone of my sex! Oh well, I guess Lucky, I mean JR, just isnít into that kind of thing! Heís more into shouting and showing us what he thinks are his kahunasÖ 

Iíve also enjoyed something I thought I wouldnít like in the least bitÖGreenlee and Ryan. Though Iím not really a fan of any specific couple (I like most of them for various reasons and know that ultimately none of them will stay together), I did prefer Kendall and Ryan to Greenlee and Ryan. I tired of Greenlee and her forever bratty, insecure, itís all about me attitude. Come off it already lady, you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You may have lacked love, but you at least had the ability to feel as though you had some self worth. Kendall on the other hand felt her life meant nothing based on the fact that she is the product of rape. Sorry Greenlee, but I tend to favor the psycho actions of a personality warped by rape over the psycho actions of a spoiled brat. But lately something in Greenlee has changed. Sure, sheís still a royal bitch to Kendall (and at times, rightly so) but sheís started to soften again, started to think about others for a change. Itís made her less painful to look at. (Until I think about the actor and the fact that she married that bachelor guy who annoys the heck out of me and I think ďWTF were you thinking?!Ē but thatís a whole different column!) Ryan could have chemistry with a stick, so to see him with nice-Greenlee is starting to rub off on me. Add to that Kendall being a true whack-case and I canít help but like them together. Poor Kendall, she needs some serious psychological help. Perhaps she and her sister and mother could get a family discount at Ferncliff? Hey, itís just a thought!  

Speaking of Kendall, Iíve noticed how theyíve allowed the wonderful Alicia Minshew to interact with just about every man on the show. The woman is an amazing actress, though personally I think she needs to eat something every now and again. Sheís got phenomenal chemistry with each and every character, but I do so like her with Aiden. I like Aiden in general but heís always been extremely devoted to her, even when sheís slapped him in the face emotionally speaking over and over and over again. Iíd like to see her finally realize they belong together, but itís unlikely. I seem to remember reading somewhere that sheís pegged to be with Ethan? I could be wrong, but who knows. The jury is still out on that guy considering I donít have a clue who he is yet!  

Which brings me to ZachÖinteresting that theyíve made him Michael Cambiasís brother. How did that happen? Are we talking a half brother on their motherís side or what? I must confess, I was quite curious about his identity and why all of this mattered to him, but I thought heíd end up being a friend/cousin/uncle/grandchild/great grandchild (hey, this is a soap, anythingís possible!) but nope. Heís a brother. Tell me why then, did it take so long for him to come and Ďavengeí his brotherís death?  

That thereís what they call ďfast writing to make a good storyĒ folks. (Iím using a bit of my Larry the Cable Guy tongue there. If you donít know who he is youíre missing out. Heís a trip. And his sister is covered in moles!)  

Iím still not convinced I like the addition of Thornsten Kaye into AMC. I wasnít big on him in PC and though I sort of liked his character on OLTL, I havenít found the magic of him as a Pine Valleyian just yet. I donít dislike the actor, but Iím kind of stuck in his Patrick mode. If my memory serves me well that was his characterís name on OLTLÖ

You know what else I like on AMC lately? The fact that those two annoying kids arenít on so much lately. Whatís their names? I canít even remember because I find my remote spontaneously switching to HGTV each time theyíre on. One is the daughter of the Police Commissioner and the other is Jackís adopted son. I know Katrina likes him and thatís all fine and dandy, but he just annoys the crap out of me. Heís all tough and ready to tackle the world when someone in his family is hurt, wronged or caught jay-walking. Too much tough guy for me to handle. I had enough of boys like him in high school, thank you very much!  

Oh and I have to admit, Iím liking the fact that Erikaís hair has been, shall we say, less BIG lately? It was in a lovely ponytail the other day and I was surprised that my eyes were actually drawn to her attractive face instead of the bottle of hairspray that was obviously sprayed all over her hair. Nice change of scenery for me.  

Iím over Maria and Edmund. And do you think sheís got implants or are those babies real? I have never seen things like that stand at attention the way hers do. And believe me, I check out boobs all the time. Iím a woman. Admit it. We all do. We want to see if theyíre real. You know you do it too so donít deny it!  

With respect to them as a couple, it just got old. ďEdmund, I love you. I donít care if you canít walk. Please. I love you. Whereís your commitment?Ē

ĒMaria, leave me alone. Iím a pitiful excuse for an invalid and I canít even begin to think about sex with you because your breasts are huge and I may be smothered because Iím unable to move quick enough to get out of the way when you throw yourself on me. We will NOT have sex damn it! No! No! No!Ē  

Give me a flipping break. Any guy, whether he can move his legs or not would be all over that woman whether he loved her or despised her. Men canít say no to a woman whoís built like and looks like that. ĎNuf said.  

I realize there are people out there who once thought Babe was annoying and obnoxious, myself being one of them, but Iím starting to actually enjoy her these days. I like that she stood up to Lucky, I mean JR and handcuffed herself to him. I liked that sheís apologized over and over to Jamie (who I happen to think is the HOTTEST guy on day time tv! Shh! I know heís like, what? 12? So what! I canít help myself. Itís my fantasy, leave me alone!) Theyíve toned down her character, dressed her better and if you can put aside that baby-stealing issue, sheís not so bad.

Her mother, of course is a whole different story entirely.

Letís just throw another woman in the picture to entertain Tad. Thatís Krystal. And thatís her identity. She professes to be such a great mama and all but come on! All of a sudden great mama supports the baby-stealing deal, offers up a new proud papa for her baby girl, blows up the car of a rich and powerful mans son, whose house she happens to live in? Give her some consistency or get rid of her.  

Oh and cover up that woman. I canít stand it much longer!  

We shouldnít think sheís long for the wonderful world of Tad because she recently said those three words. That being said, sheís outta there!  

I love David. David is yummy. This may be sick, but I love David with Greenlee. So theyíre sort of related. Heck, Greenlee is sort of related to everyone on the show now. That thereís called job security.  Sheís the new Kelly Ripa of daytime! The girl is goiní places! Iíd just like to see Greenlee go some place with David. Theyíre not BIOLOGICALLY related so it really has no Ďewí factor.  

Just a thought.  

Okay, so Iíve rambled on again about mindless, unimportant stuff. But hey, thatís okay. I feel better. I hope your reading this babble has made you feel a bit better too!

Have a great week!  

PS: Iíve decided not to spell check and/or edit this column. I want to see how many errors I can find once itís posted. If you find any, please feel free to email me and let me know! Iím trying to give up some of my anal-retentiveness!


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