(Pre Show on SoapNet) 

Carolyn: Oh my, I’ve changed my opinion on Finola.  I used to think she was smart but I’m not so sure now.  Did you see her roll her eyes right before the camera cut away from her?  I think she’s just nervous but still.

Kathy:  Wow!  I see tact isn’t one of her strong points.  She just insulted Thorsten Kaye three times in less than two minutes.   

(Vanessa Marcil wins Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series)

Vanessa Marcil 

Kathy:  No way!  OK, the church scene was good, but what about a body of work?  A couple months does not a body of work make.  No way!

Carolyn: I can’t believe it!  She was on only 6 months!  You thought the church scene was good?  Okay, maybe it was good but I don’t think it was Emmy material.  I think she got it because she’s just so popular.

Kathy:  Oh look, she’s doing all the can’t believe I won motions.  “Who?  Me?  Oh my gosh.”  If she says she has to pee, I’m taking her off my list of interesting people.

Carolyn:  This thing is rigged!  Besides, I really think all this nice-nice stuff is really fake.  I bet she’s a diva in disguise.  I think Robin should have won.  What a joke.  

(Ron Moss of B&B presents Outstanding Children’s Series) 

Kathy:  Hey, it’s the hippie guy only now he’s the Matrix wannabe guy.  Remember the SOD Awards when he dressed Hollywood Hip-pie?  Now he’s Matrix Moss.

Carolyn: Matrix Moss.  I love it!  He is freaky lookin’.  He just gives me the creeps.

Ron Moss, the hippie Matrix guy, with Susan Flannery, Best Lead Actress 

(Outstanding Pre-School Children’s Series) 

Kathy:  Yay!  I always love Sesame Street.  I’m glad I don’t have to watch it anymore, but I hope Sesame Street lives forever. 

Carolyn: You are SOOO lucky! I have to deal with Elmo almost daily.  He’s got a horrible voice.  I think someone put a clamp on his little monster nuggets.  I’m glad they won though, at least the Teletubbies weren’t nominated.

Kathy:  Teletubbies?  Ewww!  Hasn’t someone locked them in a room with Barney yet and thrown away the key? 

(Outstanding Talk Show Host) 

Kathy:  Wayne Brady has the best smile.  Plus, he compliments his wife.  I laughed when he said, “Wrap it up.  No.  I won an award.” 

Carolyn: He’s hilarious!  I am amazed at how talented he is.  I had no clue he had his own show.  How out of touch am I?  

(Nod to 30 years of Daytime Emmy Shows) 

Kathy:  Barbara Walters sure carries her years well for a woman who presented at the first Daytime Emmys 30 years ago.

Carolyn: Yeah, but you’d think she’d have lost the accent by now.  I know people that left NY for GA only 5 years ago and they have no NY accent left.  Do you think she’s had any facial reconstruction?  

(Soap Stars Sing) 

Kathy:  Hey, Donnie Osmond.  I didn’t know he was still around, much less an Emmy nominee.  Oh man, they’re gonna sing.

Carolyn: What teeth bleaching formula do you think he uses?  I want some of that!  I saw him in Joseph and the Amazing Techni-Colored Dreamcoat and he was great, but I still can’t get over the “He’s Donny Osmond” thing.  I hear Wally sings.  I’m psyched.  He’s my guy!  Bring ‘em on baby!

Donnie Osmond 

Kathy:  I don’t want to be negative here, but singing doesn’t seem to be Ms. Lucci’s strong point, maybe it’s just the song.  Don’t quit your day job, honey.

Carolyn: Oh my, she’s not good.  What’s she doing on Broadway?  She sounds like she’s purposefully trying to make her voice lower than it is.  Stick with being Erica Kane.  

Kathy:  Wally Kurth could sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and make it sound good and look fun and sexy.

Carolyn: He could sing ME Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star while tucking me in at night, only if he promised not to leave the room or the bed for that matter!  

Kathy:  Wow!  I want Kassie DePaiva’s dress.  I love that dress with the slit up to her waist!

Carolyn: She’s a beautiful woman.  I think she was Miss Tennessee or Kentucky or wherever she’s from.  Look, her hair isn’t brown now.  She has it brown on OLTL so she must have changed it back again.  Oh, you don’t really watch OLTL do you?  I’m amazed that she stays so thin.  She really doesn’t have any visible muscle tone.  Sorry to be catty, my claws are out tonight!  

Kathy:  I don’t know who Rickey Paull Golden is but I like him.  He’s having fun with his song.

Carolyn: He used to date that girl from Ryan’s Hope and Bay Watch.  The chick that got arrested for cocaine possession?  I can’t remember her name.  He isn’t bad but I’m not a fan.  Glad you like him though!  

(Tamara Braun and Alicia Leigh Willis present Outstanding Younger Actor)

Tamara Braun, Carly GH, and Alicia Leigh Willis, Courtney GH 

Kathy:  I can hear them now on the phone, “What are you going to wear?”  “I found a great white dress.”  “OK, I’ll wear a black dress and we’ll be so cute.”  It’s easy to see that they’re friends in real life.

Carolyn: They are.  You can see the chemistry.  Come on, if WE were going to the Emmy’s don’t you think we’d call each other about what we’re wearing?  We’re going to the GH Luncheon and I bet we discuss our attire! We have already!  Look at Alicia’s arm.  That girl’s got some serious muscle tone!  Tamara looks absolutely stunning.

Kathy:  In a couple years they’ll be the next super couple like Sonny and Jason.  They’ll fight and I’ll have to write “Ode to Carly and Courtney”.  Has a nice ring, don’t you think? 

Kathy:  OK, no matter what it says in the envelope say Chad Brannon wins. 

Carolyn: He deserves it.  Oh, crap!

Kathy: Darn!  Maybe next year for Chad.

Carolyn: He should have won before this anyway. He’s been excellent since first taking over as Zander.  Remember the original guy?  He was on for what, like maybe 5 episodes?  

(Brian Gaskill and Kelly Monaco present Outstanding Younger Actress) 

Kathy:  It’s ugly but I am totally filled with chest envy.  Great body, great dress, great chest!  Give me a minute, I have to go make friends with my little B cup again.

Carolyn: I’m sorry but there’s got to be some serious padding in that dress! There is no way they are THAT big!  I know they’re not small, but come on! Did you know she was a playboy playmate?  She’s pretty athletic, I’m sure those things get in her way and give her serious backaches.

Kelly Monaco, Livvie, Port Charles 

(Shia LeBeouf wins Outstanding Performer in a Children’s Series) 

Kathy:  Well, he’s a crack up.  He’s so, so 16.  Bet his mom’s gonna tell him later that he shouldn’t have said hell and pimp on prime time.

Carolyn: Bet he’s grounded.  

(Tribute to Fred Rogers)

Kathy:  How can this man be dead?  He’ll live forever in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

Carolyn: I’m still in shock that he died.  Him and Mr. Noodle, Mr. Noodles brother from Sesame Street. I can’t believe he died either.

(Robin Christopher and Ingo Rademacher present Outstanding Drama Series Writing) 

Kathy:  I like Ingo with the rough look. 

Carolyn: I think he looks skuzzy.  I don’t like him anyway!

Kathy: Say GH, say GH, say GH.  Yaayyy! 

Carolyn: They can’t win.  The writing hasn’t been that great up until fairly recently. They won’t win.  They won!  Holy crap!

Kathy: Look Carolyn, there’s my clique!  If ever I wanted in a clique, I’d choose that one.  They never call and ask me what I think.  I don’t get why not.

Carolyn:  I know why not.  It’s the B cup.  Sorry to have to be the one to tell you.

Kathy:  You mean I need implants to be a soap writer?  Darn! 

(Levar Burton presents Lifetime Achievement Award to Art Linkletter) 

Kathy:  Levar is the coolest guy.  Someday, I want to stand near him and listen to him talk.  I love his voice.

Carolyn: Should I know who this guy is?  

Kathy:  Every time GH is mentioned, the cameras pan to beaming Brian Frons.  You’d think he birthed that baby.

Carolyn: I think he could have.  Look at him!  At least they’re not panning to Vanessa.  That would really irk me!  

(Anthony Geary presents Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series) 

Kathy:  Anthony Geary’s such a classy guy, especially in formal wear. 

Carolyn: He’s one of those Sean Connery types.  He gets better with age.  I wonder if Susan Lucci is going to walk up on accident… 

(Outstanding Lead Actor)

Kathy:  Yaayyy!  It’s Maurice’s year!  He deserves that standing ovation. 

Carolyn: Notice how he thanked Tamara?  But they didn’t show her!  They showed Vanessa!  I can’t flippin’ believe that!  Get over this girl already! Listen to all the fans there.  Someone should hold up “Quiet.  The Mob Man is speaking” signs.  They’re really annoying me! 

Kathy:  Maurice’s daughter just made family history.  When she’s grown they are going to be telling the story of how Daddy won his first Daytime Emmy and she slept through it.

Carolyn: That’s funny!  But it’s so cute!  Too bad she’s going to get grief about that her whole life!

Kathy:  MB did a Sonny.  “Hey, ho, ho, ho.” 

Carolyn: That’s hilarious! He must adlib that stuff on GH.

Kathy: Let the man talk.  He deserves his time at the microphone.  He’s definitely paid dues to his profession.

Carolyn: He looks good.  That’s all I have to say about that!  

(Dr. Phil presents the Most Memorable Moment) 

Kathy:  Nobody called and asked me.  I can name bunches of memorable moments.  Oh, too bad they’re all GH moments.

Carolyn: They didn’t call you because you’re supposed to vote on your text message thingy on your cell phone.  I don’t have text messaging so does that mean my opinion doesn’t count?  How Rude!  I knew Luke & Laura would win.  How could they not?

Kathy:  See?  Now I’m getting paranoid.  I thought you were going to say it’s my cup size again. 

Carolyn: Are you going to watch the After Show thingy on SoapNet?  I don’t think I can stay up.  I’ll have to watch it tomorrow.  I knew that GH wouldn’t win Best Show but I would have liked to have seen them get more awards.  Robin Christopher should have won.  I really like her now.  I didn’t on the other ABC soaps, but I do now.  Chad Brannon should have won.  He really is a great actor.  I don’t think Alicia had any real material to win with so I can see why she didn’t.  Tamara Braun should have been nominated.  She had a lot of good material.  I think that’s a load of dung!  Hey, by the way, did you see Steve Burton in the audience anywhere?  I don’t think I saw him at all.

Kathy:  I think you have to be presenting or nominated to get a seat.  I’m not staying up for SoapNet’s commentary either.  Can’t be better than ours. 

Pictures with many thanks from www.soapcity.com, www.emmyonline.com, and www.abc.go.com