As many of you noticed, last week there was no Spoiler Commentary.  It wasn't a matter of wanting to let you guys down, it was more of looking for a few hours at a blank computer screen and realizing what little interest I had in the show.  It's like I said in the Soap Journal I wrote this week, it's gotten so bad that the GH folks are even afraid to show us what's going to happen next, so the dropped the "on the next GH" segments.  It's as though even they are embarrassed of the crap they're serving up the next day.  In the interest of respect for the EOS readers and the site itself, I am going to defy our golden rule of "If it's not fun, it doesn't get done" and bite the bullet (hoping it doesn't discharge into instant lobotomy) and write about this trash.  I'll find the golden bits where ever I can because *sigh*:

Tyler's coming back.  Those smoldering good looks nailed me as soon as I saw him in the hospital bed after giving Lulu his life saving bone marrow.  I got nothing against Coltin's deliverance of Nikolas.  He did a fine job and hasta la vista and all that stuff, but the royal highness is back in town and I'm a happy girl.  Somehow, even though no trees have shaken fruit to the ground on it, the arrival of TC back to Nikolas heralds a Cassadine return in my heart, so I must, must have faith!!  Rumor says Stephen Nichols has been approached by GH and DOOL for returns.  I don't hold out more than a glimmer of hope, but it's definitely there!  From what we hear, TC will be returning first in late April and then easing back into the picture through May.  Coltin Scott will tape his last scenes on Monday, March 31st and air into the middle of April.

That's around the same time that two more Quartermaines will be on the scene. Tracey Q and Dillion Hornsby, her son, played by Jane Elliot and Scott Clifton respectively.  Tracey is only around for about 12 weeks, but Dillon is supposed to be a keeper and love interest for Georgie.  YOUNG LOVE, FIRST LOVE, FILLED WITH TRUUUUUE EMOYOSHUN!!!  YOUNG LUVVVVV, OUR LUVVVVV, WE SHARE WITH DEEEEEEP, emo-o-shun.  *ahem*  Anyway

And by the Quartermaines twice removed comes Rae Cummings back to town to give Skye a little Mama Love and peace and joy throughout the land.

Emily returns to the Quartermaine fold (man, that mansion is going to be crowded!) in a matter of seconds and will be the catalyst for a lot of different spirals.  Despite the inroads made when Emily left, look for her to square off against sister, Skye.  Not only that, but she cozies up very nicely to Courtney, which just doesn't set well with Liz at all.  Given that our current writers have written Liz as a meddling, shrill shrew, I'm sure they'll be slapping one another in no time at all.

Ned and Jax continue their plan to take out Sonny through the financial door, which confuses me incredibly because unless they are involved with the shady deals his organization runs, how can they touch him?  Take him out of the coffee business?  If he's any kind of mobster (and under Guza's steady hand, he's definitely graduated from gummy bear mobster to, well, let's say Sweetart mobster... maybe even a Sour Patch Kid mobster), he's got his financial holdings sewed up tighter than Grandma's panties, so I can't even imagine a coupla sharks like Ned and Jax (I think I'll just call them Jed - as in Clampett) making any progress with him via financial distruction.

Big stuff coming up with Baby Kristina's kidnapping.  Alexis manages to learn of Kristina's schedule (a 6-month-old with a SCHEDULE??  Does she keep her Fisher Price palm pilot in her back diaper pocket or what?) from Monica, slips into the mansion to kidnap the kid and finds her already napped!  She lets out a scream and the Q's come running to find Alexis clutching a kidnap note.  Man, this gal just canNOT get a break with her kid!  Since the little bugger first trembled in her uterus, she was cursed by half the internet, attempted to make a hasty exit a couple of times and then was shouted straight out of hiding by Alcazar.  After that, Mom was psycho, screaming at anyone who breathed on her.  Dad #1 kept showing up to alternated threaten mom and ask her for a good lawyer recommendation.  Dad #2 took up with the Mob Whore of the World and started having sex on the docks.  Mom went nuts and stayed in the hospital after BK got to leave to go home to Dad #2, who left at the wrong time, Uncle burned the house down, Great-Grandpa got custody, Auntie Monica is telllll-innnn, but now she's not, Mom's gonna kidnap, but no, Auntie Skye and Uncle AJ beat her to it.  *sigh*  OK, now I see why she needs the palm pilot and the schedule!  I think a dance card might also be helpful.

So down to the docks, Jason pretends (with Carly's knowledge - she tries to get word to Sonny but his cell phone is off or something equally as annoying) that he's accepting Faith's proposal to work together, she tells him to kill Sonny, Sonny dares him to do it, long, pregnant pause, then Ric caps Faith from an unseen grassy knoll.  He gives in to his baser self and takes aim at Jason, but bein's as how he's a GH Villain (GHV), he misses.  Faith lives.   It's like magic.  It's like, manstuff.  It's like, who cares?

Carly moves to help Mikey when he's skating, the ice breaks and bammo!  In she goes.  She's taken to GH and the crackshot docs there tell Sonny that for reasons we don't yet know, he has to choose between mom and baby.  Jason is by his side and Sonny decides he's not having the baby taken this time.  After appropriate GH drama, mom and baby are both okey dokey.  This, my friends, is our 40th anniversary celebration.  God help us.  Guza certainly will not.  He's too busy thumbing his nose at the fans and making obscene gestures at their moms who got them hooked on the show. 

Sonny continues headlong into his breakdown.  His fans are lauding this as the M-D story MB wants, but doesn't it miss his point if he doesn't get help, treatment, therapy or otherwise resolve anything other than to realize how much he needs Jason in  his life, boo hoo hoo?  If he doesn't, does it qualify as anything other than Intense Maurice Benard Angst that gets shoved under the carpet when it runs its course?  How about if we get some Analyze This action going on?  Let us see some reconciliation with Little Sonny, the Inner Gummy Bear Child!  Let's see him really come to terms with Deke and Mike and Adela and all the women he's piled up on the Sonny Reject Heap!  Let Cameron Lewis get inside that Fonzie-esque coif and sort things out!

Ric sees that Sonny is in mental pain and decides to take advantage of his paranoia and impaired state to turn his attention toward a red herring.  He sends Sonny off on Jax's trail and sits back to watch the show.

Eventually, Jason and Sonny figure out what Ric is up to and are ready to exact their revenge, but it turns out, Baby Got Back and rumors say it's Tracy Q.  Personally, call it a weakness, I'm hoping for some family ties that complicate matters a bit.

Yep, Emily shoots up and that will be the problem that run interference with her reunion with Zander, even after he proclaims his love to her.  The road to true love is never smooth, especially in the soaps, but from what we hear, it's going to happen.  Steve Burton recently had very flattering words for Natalia Livingston, forever to be dubbed "NuEmily."  I'm keeping my mind open and my heart vulnerable to destruction should she turn out to be another model with aspirations of an acting career, ready to cut her baby acting teeth on a soap job.  Can I be bought?  Sure.  Am I gullible?  Every time.