Comments through...sometime this week 
(Spoilers with a dash of whip cream) 

Were you worried?  Wondering where, oh where, has Kathy gone?  Just say yes and stroke my ego, OK?  I have been living in computer hell.  Last week a power surge tiptoed through the tulips of my hard drive, making potpourri of my program files.  After many, many hours fixing, tinkering and testing, hours on the telephone with Hewlett-Packard and Microsoft, the consensus reached is that my CPU must be taken to the techy doctors at Best Buy for an extreme makeover.  On one hand, I am grateful that I paid extra dollars for the privilege of handing over my baby to Best Buy for the foreseeable future, but the other side of me is crying that I won't have my personal space and comfort zone as I sit at my desk typing away.  This place represents plain ol' Kathy.  Not Kathy Mommy, Kathy Wife, Kathy Bus Driver, Kathy-in-charge-of-everything.  It's juuuuussst Kathy.  OK, so I'm whining.  Give me a minute and I'll get over myself since I will have access to my husband's computer.  If you've e-mailed me in the past week I may or may not have received it and since I lost all my e-mail addresses, I can't e-mail anyone out there unless you e-mail me first as I rebuild my contact list.   

Looking over my notes from last week, it seems like those episodes aired in previous storyline chapters instead of a couple days ago, so forget them, I'll just go with the flow in my brain.   

Wow!  I can't believe how much I hated seeing Nico hit Sam with his fist.  It is not a scene I rewound and watched again.  But you know what has me up in arms?  I am up in arms that Sonny and Jason aren't up in arms that someone beat up one of their women.  Why didn't we see any scenes where they angrily denounced men who hit women?  Because of his upbringing, Sonny's always been portrayed as a protector of women which he passed on to Jason.  A few bland comments were tossed out about the danger of Nico, but it's like Sam's big black eye barely registered on Jason and Sonny's violence meter making them seem hard and calloused, instead of intense bad guys with good hearts.  At least I think that's what they want us to see.  Whatever I was supposed to soak up didn't come across in this little regrettable piece of storyline. 

Ever hear the adage about a parent's revenge whereupon the parent wishes upon their child, children of their own someday who behave like their child is behaving?  It seems to me that Sam is a parent's revenge upon Carly.  Carly sees in Sam everything other people saw in her during her beginning years in P.C.  Carly believes Sam is using the baby to tie first Sonny and now Jason to her just as she was accused of doing with Michael and his revolving fathers.  She freely calls Sam a slut for sleeping with more than one partner conveniently forgetting that she also faced a who's the daddy dilemma from sleeping around.  Carly blames Sam for the kink in her marriage just as Carly kinked up Bobbi and Tony's marriage.  All of Carly's accusations hold a kernel of truth and a lack of empathy, making them all the more razor sharp.  Ripe with irony is Jason's claim of paternity to Sam's baby.  Carly felt responsible for causing her adoptive mother's death and soon we will learn about Sam's less than perfect mother/daughter death connection.  I'm sensing a pattern here.  These two women could almost be friends, if they weren't both sort of genetically self-destructive. 

Violence doesn't have a place in my real life.  I can't figure out why I buy into it on GH so much of the time.  Carly kicked the stuffing out of Nico and I cheered for her!  Maybe it was the fact that Carly, a woman, refused to accept the role of victim.  Plus, she twirled and kicked on 4 inch heels which takes some major balance and coordination.  What made me laugh at the end though was Carly dragging Sam into the safety of the penthouse and calling 9-1-1 but neither Carly nor Sam bothered to lock the door.  Carly scored big points by telling off Ric when Sonny, Jason and their police entourage arrived at the penthouse.  Go, Carly! 

What's up with serious intense Faith?  In her last few scenes, she's reverted to the deadly Faith who first hit Port Charles.  I kinda felt sorry for her as she tried to boss Nico.  There's no way Faith can understand a person who sincerely doesn't care about money and who obsesses over another person unless she can relate it to her insatiable craving for power. 

The Fab Four seems to have changed players from Sonny, Carly, Jason and Courtney to Sonny, Carly, Jason and Sam.  Courtney's been moved into the Secondary Seven - Jax, Courtney, Ric, Alexis, Skye, Emily, and Nikolas.  Not to say that the other players aren't important, of course they are, but in terms of air time, that's what I see. 

Lois can be my friend any day.  I loved how she stuck her foot in her mouth with Courtney more than once and gracefully pulled it out.  Then she called it like she saw it with Courtney and Jax not mincing words, "In Bensonhurst, we call it dating."   When Brook Lynn insulted her style of dress, I also felt for Lois.  Not that I could pull off the clothes she's wearing but she looks pretty darn fine wearing them and it is a painful place when your child acts like he/she is ashamed of you for any reason.  A little humor filtered through as I checked out Brook Lynn in her flapper slip dress over jeans (an outfit which no teenager I've seen would wear and I see a lot of teens) calling her mother on the carpet for outlandish dressing.  Um, yeah honey, let's go take a look in a mirror. 

For one scene Dillon's hair was wet and not sticking up like porcupine spikes all over his head.  It looked good. 

Hmm, flat, normal hair and he's still cute.  Imagine that.

"No disrespect Mrs. Cerillo, but Dillon's my boyfriend and you can't have him." Georgie bravely declared to Lois and Dillon at Kelly's.  Comedy in daytime is so much fun!   

Can anyone explain to me the hype for the past few weeks about "Randy Jackson appearing on General Hospital"?  For goodness sakes, his lines were so minimal and his scenes so short his visit barely registered.  The talent show was fun and I wish it had lasted longer because I sure would have enjoyed more variations on the milkshake song.  (In case you're wondering, that's me, tongue in cheek.)  

Emily, Emily, Emily (shaking my head sadly), I am dismayed at your sudden inability to speak at opportune moments and inability to shut up when you shouldn't be speaking.   Mary approached Emily in the park to say that she won't be working at GH because she may be moving on acting like Emily doesn't know Nikolas is alive.  And Emily let her get away with it!  Why allow Mary the comfort of thinking it's OK to steal Nikolas' life?  Pfft! to that idea.  Where's my satisfaction?  I want Emily in Mary's face fighting for her man.  For that matter, I couldn't understand why Emily couldn't just spit out the words to Nikolas about Mary's deception.  "I love my wife!" ConNik shouted as he ran out the door.  That was after Emily missed about 16 chances to say, "You are Nikolas."  Why hasn't Emily shared the news with Lucky?  Why isn't Mary afraid that ConNik will be spotted by one of his family members on one of their many trips past the gazebo and through the park?  How come Emily felt an urge to run to Sonny's room and tell a weak gunshot man that his knocked up mistress is OK after being beaten up by her former beau?  I have to stop now, this chopped up story is making me crazy.  All I want now is one scene where Mary is forced to deal with fallout from her merry widow hallucinations.  I believe we'll be seeing that soon. 

Talk about a stable of psychos!  GH has a pot overflowing with crazies.  Let's see...Mary's skipping along in her romantic fantasy with ConNik, Helena rules as queen bee psycho (anyone who freezes and unfreezes their offspring moves to the head of the psycho class), Heather Webber seems to be obsessed with sharp objects, Faith graduated with honors with a double major in Power and Mayhem, while Nico makes regular stalkers look like fun playmates.  Add into the mix the everyday violence of the Fab Four and I'm a little disturbed at the path my favorite show is taking.   

Quick, someone give Tracey more storyline because she needs to do more than prance about gloating over Skye's guilty verdict. 

A couple quick hits from spoilerville. 

Emily's dizzy spell leads to concern and some interesting developments.  (GHH2)

She's probably dizzy from all the pressure of who to tell what.  Oh, I know, maybe she's pregnant from her frolic with ConNik.  Wouldn't that drive Mary back to the river!

Why all the speculation and whoopla over Robin delivering a message from Brenda to Sonny?  Brenda's not coming back.  It's a storyline ploy.  Roll with it and enjoy the scenes with actors we haven't seen in a long time.   

When Courtney rolled into Port Charles in her hoopty car and stocking cap, Alicia Leigh Willis hit every GH promotion and magazine newsrack for about a year.  TPTB decided that we were going to love her and by golly they were going to ram her down our throats until we did.  Phew!  I'm glad that's over.  In my opinion, Courtney is just now turning into a watchable character.  She's navigated some murky waters with men and storylines so the blandness that I disliked is fading away.  I'd like her even better if she'd develop some quirks besides scratching her forehead but that's a different train of thought.  Why isn't ABC shoving her in my face now when I can tolerate the character?  Courtney's being allowed to develop on her own because it seems that Kelly Monaco has become the showcase object of their affections until we, the malleable viewers, understand that we are expected to love Sam.  I feel so used and manipulated.  Ironically, while I resent the obvious promoting, I like Sam because she possesses a necessary ingredient in a soap character and that would be individuality.  She's a salvage diver and a con artist both fun premises to work with.  Until recently, she could be seen occasionally pouring over navagational charts, talking about diving and work.  Until Sonny messed with her, she was unashamedly tough, independent and not prone to tears and spiked heels.  Love her or hate her, she was interesting.  The tearful, emotionally vulnerable Sam I'm watching now is understandable, given the hard choices she's making, but I hope tough smart Sam will make her way back into Jason's penthouse.  Another media darling front and center doesn't grab my attention, I prefer making up my own mind based on my response to the character.  Note to Mr. Frons - Viewers are capable of deciding whether or not they like a character without constant promoting and magazine covers. 

You know what really sucks?  Brian Frons, President of ABC Daytime on SoapTalk, that's what.  Want to know why?  Because he wasn't a villain.  A little nerdy perhaps, but definitely not a villain.  As a long time addicted peruser of ABC soapy websites, I've come to think of him in less than stellar terms.  Be truthful, have you ever read one single upbeat or complimentary word about the man?  I have not.  My eyes have rolled with the best of 'em at his on-going foot-in-mouth problem as he's commented in ways that insulted both viewers and actors.  When his cup of skills was being measured, he surely missed out on a dash of tact.  Definitely, I've disagreed with some of his executive decisions (hmmm, Shop the Soaps).  But what I saw on SoapTalk was a guy in a powerful position trying to figure out what works in a tricky medium.  Now I know from the bottom of my heart that if he read all the columnists at Eye On Soaps and contacted us personally for our opinions, he'd learn a thing or five about what makes viewers tune in day to day, but since he obviously hasn't figured that one out yet, I'll just throw a couple thoughts out there for ponderation.  Brian Frons, aka TIIC (The Idiot In Charge) or PTB (Power That Be) is a man trying to figure out how to reach the most folks in the time slot assigned.  Brian Frons may or may not understand women (ahem, not), his largest number of viewers, but he probably has a pretty good handle on statistics and where and how the dollars are flowing.  He probably also understands the power of visibility.  Somebody has to be the bad guy and he gets paid the big moola to be the guy in the clown suit allowing people to throw pies at him.  So here is my little salute to Brian Frons, President of ABC Daytime - I don't agree with many of your decisions but I am going to try to keep an open mind that you are a person with a tough job doing the best you can.  Isn't that noble of me? 

Carol Banks Weber, in her June 21st column at SoapZone, offered interesting information regarding a new trend in soaps and advertising called branded entertainment.  How many times was On-Star mentioned?  It wasn't an accident or oversight by the writing crew, it's a new way to advertise since savvy viewers have learned the benefits of TiVo and FF.  It might not be a bad idea.  Instead of actors opening a soda and carefully wrapping their fingers around the brand name, if Coca-Cola cares to advertise in daytime, Courtney can meet Jax for a picnic in the park with a six pack of Coke and a package of Oreo cookies.  Think what a boon this could be for feminine products.  Instead of a pregnancy test with a generic label like "Tru-Test" in a brown paper bag, now our worried character can whip out a First Response from a Wal-Mart bag.  Reality advertising hits daytime.  Of course, if I have to hear a conversation like, "Jax, do you want a Coke?  Here have a Coke before they get cold.  Don't you love to drink Coke?"  Then the show becomes an advertisement instead of the advertisement enhancing the show.  It occurred to me, however, that soaps could use this idea to their own advantage. 

Courtney walks down the stairs dressed to the nines.  Jax turns and looks at her, clearly awestruck at her beauty.  Walking over to her he hugs her and comments, "Not only do you look stunning you smell good."  "Thank you", replies Courtney, "It's Enhancement by Fusion."  (I still say the bottle should have a bobble head of Susan Lucci on top.) 

Faith comes across Liz in the park pushing Cameron in his stroller.  "Well, lookee here.  If it isn't the little bunny all dressed up playing Momma.  Nice necklace.  Have you been introducing your VISA card to Shop the Soaps, since your perfect family with Ric and Zander's baby didn't work out?"   

My favorite fantasy would be Carly discussing Sonny with Jason.  "Really, Jason, Sonny just doesn't feel like he used to.  He's sad and tired all the time.  His life doesn't have to be this way."  Next scene shows Carly dumping a bottle of Zoloft into Sonny's bourbon.  Because according to the commercial, Zoloft cures everything except hangnails and warts (if one can tolerate the side effects which sound bad enough to cause further stress to the already depressed).  The little Zoloft teardrop would drift slowly across the bottom of our screen. 

Oh yeah, lots of storyline potential here. 

I'd planned to put a 4th of July picture at the bottom of my column this week, but arguing with WordPad has made it too much effort.  So instead, just pretend there's a cool picture of a hand holding a feather pen signing the Declaration of Independence.  Aren't you glad to live in the United States of America?  I am.  Have a safe, fun filled, patriotic 4th.  Wave sparklers, BBQ, eat watermelon, watch fireworks.  Life is good despite glitches, potholes and lightning strikes.  Thanks for reading. 

Yay!  For screen caps at GH World 5