Comments through September 24, 2004
(Spoilers, add a dash of sugar and lemon, then stir)

My husband has developed an interesting strategy for his Sunday football viewing. Whenever the announcer begins promoting an upcoming network show, he switches the channel to another game. Since the announcers must have instructions to read the ads every five minutes or so, he manages to watch pieces of each game changing channels every few minutes. I was laughing at him until I thought about the ads that scroll across the bottom of my TV screen during “General Hospital”. Talk about annoying. I hate when the bar appears on the bottom imparting trite information like, “The premier episode of “Lost” tonight at 7:00 P.M.” It’s not like the network doesn’t saturate us with ads during the commercial breaks, out of 60 minutes of show time we watch 38 minutes of GH and 22 minutes of advertising, must they also cover the bottom half of Alexis’ and Ric’s faces while they bicker with overplayed promotions? For a long time I stopped watching Headline News and CNN because they scrolled news at the bottom of the screen, flashed news stories on the left hand side and gave about a third of the screen to the talking head. I couldn’t keep up and because I tend to become hooked on news it drove me crazy trying to follow 3 stories at once. Enough! TMI! I want commercials during commercial breaks and my show during the 38 minutes of allotted show time. No mixing.

Alexis begs Ric, “Kiss me, you fool, before the banner blocks our faces.”

I tried to play along with Courtney and Jax, laughing at their foibles wondering if Courtney could keep her libido in check long enough to win the bet. Really, I did my best. But for me, Courtney’s nun habit and Jax the Priest slid over the edge of fun into disrespectful. They should not make a holy place their playground for a game of lust tag. The whipping off of wimples must be discouraged and certainly shouldn’t be dismissed because Jax flashes a smile and some charm. Sorry guys, not funny. Now if Luke had kissed a nun and then turned on the charm I probably would have experienced a different reaction, maybe because Luke has earned bragging rights to his devil-may-care persona. Jax claims devil-may-care one minute, white knight the next, and principled businessman 30 seconds later but he strikes me as a playboy doing as he pleases with no thought to cost or consequence. I don’t hate Jax and Courtney, I’ve enjoyed their fun romance, but I’d appreciate lightheartedness without the silly. And the furniture in front of the door? Waaay, overkill.

I bet the actress playing the nun thought the kiss was pretty great.

Still wondering where Diego will sleep in her loft apartment.

Courtney can yell at Jax because she behaved badly and kissed Jason. And Sam can insist that Jason talk about his feelings because Courtney was the love of his life and he must surely be hurt by her actions. As for Jason, I didn’t see a whole lot of hurt. I saw a guy mildly disgusted with being used over a bet, maybe surprised by Courtney’s actions, but I didn’t see any sad, I’m-holding-in-my-pain face.

Only the very best mouth attachments for Jason.

Jason and Sam….Sam and Jason….Sason…Jasam…I climbed a few rungs up on their couple ladder. He’s smiling, he almost laughed for goodness sake, and Sam seems to be opening up around him. Call me a sap, I don’t care. It’s not romance yet and I’m not even sure I’m hoping for one, but I definitely like the relationship slowly blossoming.

If this were a musical comedy Jason would be singing,

“Hit the Road Jack.”

If you were Sam, would you sign the papers that Sonny drew up? I don’t know if I would or not but I love that she’s willing to stand her ground and tell Sonny where to stick his papers. My favorite part of the scene was Sonny’s expression of astonishment when Sam announced if Sonny didn’t trust her, how could she trust him? Obviously, it never occurred to Sonny that paranoia runs two ways.

 

 

2 cups of paranoia

1 cup of control issues

1 cup of scam

Mix thoroughly with dollops of emotionalism

Sprinkle with defiance

Bake for nine months to make 1 infant with parents in need of counseling.

Stephen Lars and John Durant made me laugh with the following dialogue:

John: I have something that can help. It’s a postcard from Carly’s mother.

Stephen: You’re intercepting Carly’s mail?

John (dismissively): The locals have been doing it for years.

And here I thought the crime problem in Port Felony-Chuck revolved around mysterious MOB activity, shootings and explosions. No wonder the feds are always showing up. They’re not chasing Sonny, that’s his paranoia. They’re attempting to solve the notorious Port Charles mail theft problem. 

 

Stephen can’t believe that John stole Carly’s postcard.

John can’t believe Stephen doesn’t understand who’s allowed to commit crimes and who isn’t.

It only takes one scene and a couple lines of dialogue to form an opinion. Giving us a glimpse of passion Stephen explained to John why he’s wrong to use Carly to further his career. “It’s a terrible feeling to hate your parent. And I certainly wish better for you. Carly may seem like an easy way into the biggest win of your career, but she is your only child. If you disrespect that connection, you’re going to lose her forever.” Suddenly I find myself invested. Happy ending, root for the good guy kind of gal that I am, I like that Stephen tried to save Durant from his destructive ambition. When John Durant appeared at the penthouse claiming to want to get to know his daughter, Carly’s yearning face clearly showed her feelings and I wanted to believe him right along with Carly. Because I love to hope that good will win over evil, I want Durant’s story to be about a man fighting against himself. I want John Durant to fall in love with his daughter and the grandchildren he recently learned about while ambition dogs his steps and rides roughshod over scruples. Struggling, I hope he fights with himself over and over because he desperately wants the feather that is Sonny Corinthos in jail but he can’t bear to trash Carly, Michael and Morgan’s life. Can you feel the drama? I can. As soon as Mr. Guza and Mr. Pratt call me, I’ll be sure to inform them of my wants.

“So tell me John, have you ever bought your suits off the rack?”

Ah, those turbulent teens. Shouldn’t they be in school by now? Brook Lynn looked nice in the dresses she modeled on and I didn’t find them obscene or offensive and neither did Brook; however, Dillon protested on her behalf. Lucas definitely enjoyed the sight of Brook in her red dress. Georgie tried to straddle the fence and smooth the waters telling Dillon that it’s OK for Brook to try a new look and explaining to Brook that Dillon is looking out for her. Spoilers say that Brook will stand up for herself, her style and the music she wants to play. Good for her, I hope she fights with Lois and Simon for her individuality. I like how Dillon relates to Brook as one artist to another, but Georgie is so insecure that she can’t tolerate Dillon’s defense of Brook without seeing it as a more than uncly interest. “Dillon, Brook Lynn is your niece, not your girlfriend.” Excuse me, Georgie? Where did that come from?  

 

Lucas finds Brook hot…kissy face hot.

Where do Brook Lynn and Lois live? Do they live together? I bet their closets are scary places filled with exploding colors.

Brook removed her multitudes of accessories.

Now her hands and arms feel so light

she doesn’t know what to do with them.

Lois can say what she wants about having nothing more to do with Lorenzo and it’s no better than he deserves. She can mouth her sensible statements about staying away from gangsters and dangerous men. Maybe she even believes her wisdom while she’s spouting it. But actions speak louder than words and I see a woman who can’t let go of a man she’s clearly attracted to against her better judgment. While Lorenzo jumped back and forth between hard hearted gangster and lonely hurting man, Lois dressed in the black, one shoulder evening dress, sat at a table with him and begged to see inside his head. I predict pain in her future and more buttons undone on her blouse.

Tell me your fantasy, Lorenzo, and I’ll try to be it.

Key in the creepy music, not only did Helena put The Curse upon Nikolas and Emily, but Evil Granny disappeared into the wall. The road to true love will surely hit a few bumps now. Nurse Harris is a goner so let’s chalk up another death to Nik and Em’s path of destruction...err, passion. The death toll so far – Zander, Mary, Sage, Trent, and Nurse Harris. Call ‘em a super couple if you want, I’m thinkin’ they’re the Deadly Duo. 

 

A curse spoken,

A party broken.

Call the hearse,

For one dead nurse.

Can we call it the Yuck Kiss and be done with it? Faith laid a smacker on Skye and I couldn’t figure out why. It was a gratuitous smacker that didn’t drive the storyline or fit the scene. I love Cynthia Preston’s daring and willingness to push the boundaries, but maybe in this case, she should have looked at her character and storyline and said no thank you, I’ll pass. Sometimes, if someone says I dare you to jump and you do it, it’s just plain dumb. It’s not as if Faith has been struggling with her sexuality. She’s been strong in her just Justus relationship for at least a couple weeks (eons in soapy relationship time). Her blackmail of Skye for the use of her tunnel had already been established so smooching wasn’t necessary. I love a good story and I’m willing to see boundaries pushed even if they make me slightly uncomfortable when it comes to characters making decisions, taking action and dealing with consequences. But the Yuck Kiss? Pfft! No sense, no plot, no consequence.

How long do you think it will take before someone makes a

Website for Faith and Skye?

Scenes I really liked this week (Thursday was a particularly enjoyable GH day):

Liz and Stephen having dinner and talking at The Cellar.

Liz and Ric talking at The Cellar.

Ric and Alexis bickering and kissing at The Cellar.

Nedly rescuing Lois from bad Lorenzo at The Cellar.

Carly’s uncertain acceptance of her first hug from her father at The Cellar.

Michael scared but telling about Morgan at the pond.

Brook Lynn dancing with Lucas and their first tentative kiss.

Every scene with Helena and Tracey.

The cute doctor who doesn’t have a name who first treated Morgan.

Bobbi talking to John Durant. I wanted to feel the history between them.

I love doing interactive stuff because the fun replies usually crack me up. Here are some of the captions, unedited. Thanks for the laughs. Next week I’ll post a couple new pictures for your captioning enjoyment.

“Which is longer - my tongue or this pen?”

"If I have to say 'Sonny you are such a great father!' one more time, I'm gonna barf!!"

“I’d rather eat this pen, than eat one more omelet filled with mushrooms!”

"OK Sonny, with a little practice, I could rid his mind of Sam forever."

"Here's how I practice keeping Sonny happy, if ya know what I mean!!"

“Carly demonstrates that Sonny is not as big as he thinks he is.”

"I even make myself sick!"

“Mom, why can’t we play catch at the park instead of at the edge of the water?”

"Hey Dad!  Come over here and we'll make one of those Funniest home videos!"

“OK, if they want me to pretend there’s water, I’ll pretend.”

"Daddy said he'd buy me the Yankees if I stopped trying to take over the coffee warehouse,

and I can pitch every day."

"One day I'm gonna rule the world, and Morgan will be my Enforcer, and I will tell people what to do and they will bow their heads and do it!  Aren't you proud of me Mommy?!"

“Little Mo wonders whatever happened to the nice man who gave him the baseball glove.”

“Lucky – What happened to your hair?”

"CAAAWW  CAWWW"

“If I do the chicken dance like Carly and Sam, can I have more air time?”

“Do da funky chicken”

"Being a single Mom is lots of work and is not always fun.  So every now and then I like to just bust out and do the Running Man to keep my spirits up.  Come on try it with me!!"

“No thanks, I already gave to the Mob Widows Relief Fund.”

"You want a piece of me Sonny boy! You want a piece of me!"

“Just had a little accident watching the adult channel and covered it up with my leather jacket.”

"Oh mannnn!  I was drinkin' and next thing I know I wake up in the '70's in Luke's disco drag!"

“No, it’s not a pool stick in my pocket. I’m happy to see you.”

"Up! Up, you big husky!" (stolen from Porky's II: The Next Day)

"Let's see, I wonder what other products I can pull out of this bag that will make me look more like the Pimp Daddy I am?  Lord knows I got the Jerry Curl goin' on!" 

“No Carly, that is not where you hang a jacket.”

"Hello! Something under my jacket seems to have a life of it's own!"

A couple spoilers popped into view that looked promising.

Sonny cooks up a plan to find out if John Durant is really interested in establishing a father-daughter relationship with Carly.....and JD falls for the trap.  (GHFF)

It’s not that JD falls for a trap that surprises me, it’s that Sonny actually sets up a successful trap. In my years of watching GH, Sonny and Jason have a terrible track record when it comes to traps.

Alice begins to distrust Heather. (GHFF)

Whenever caring deeply for someone involves poison and pretending to be a dead loved one, I’d say healthy mistrust of that individual would be appropriate.

John Durant pits Sonny against Lorenzo. (GHH2)

Let’s save some time here and assume that John pits Sonny against Lorenzo; Lorenzo pits John against Sonny; and Sonny pits Lorenzo against John. And throughout their pitting contest, Carly stands in the middle of the triangle, dazed and confused.

Sam gives birth prematurely. (GHH2)

And I begin praying, “Please let the baby live” so I don’t have to deal with a tearfest that I won’t be able to hold back.

If you don’t have SoapNet, please skip this paragraph because I don’t want anyone to feel bad or deprived…..I’m waiting so you can scroll down….OK, if you don’t have SoapNet on your cable lineup and you’re still here, don’t blame me if you get mad at your cable company. I am really enjoying the extra soapy programming available on SoapNet. Carol Banks Weber summed up Wally Kurth’s new show, “1 Day”, perfectly in her new column at SoapZone describing it as a bit forced and awkward. However, it’s a new show and Wally Kurth is performing in a brand new role and I’m hoping he’ll grow into it. I’m also hoping he’ll spring for some new wardrobe. I remember, wincing as I do so, the first couple weeks of “SoapTalk” with Lisa Rinna and Ty Treadway. They were forced, uncomfortable and awkward but they’ve improved by leaps and bounds (though Lisa Rinna might benefit from a breast and giggle reduction and a clause in her contract that says she’s not allowed to talk about or show her feet on air because I don’t care about her feet and I’m sick of seeing them). In numerous interviews of soap actors, when asked what they’d like to do if not acting a standard reply seems to be music, producing or directing. I admire Wally Kurth for coming up with his own idea, pitching it successfully to the network and then moving forward. The new show “Soapography” offers mostly rehashed info, but it’s done in short segments, presented well, and not long enough to become tedious. GH’s upcoming “Be A Soapstar” attempt at reality TV might be fun. At any rate, it’ll be soapy and unique so I’m willing to give it a chance.

That’s it for me this week. I always begin writing thinking there’s not much to say and then thoughts I didn’t even realize were in my head come pouring out. Can you believe it’s almost October? I’ve already started Christmas shopping hoping to finish before midNovember. Every year I plot and plan trying to avoid the December shopping frenzy and a poverty stricken January. I have about a 50% success rate. Let’s all stride forth full of hope and good intentions. Thanks for reading.

Naps make the world go ‘round in a pleasant way. 

Thanks to Woman2Woman GH Screencaps II for the screen caps.

 

Kathy




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