Will All The Breadwinners On General Hospital
Please Stand Up! 

Do you ever wonder why  characters on soap operas never have to make a living? It seems like they donít have to worry about money even if they were born poor because sooner or later, they will find themselves with a ton of money by either marrying, inheriting, or getting lucky by coming across a million bucks while walking along the pier or any other place that they like to hang out. 

Speaking of which, what was that all about with the so called treasure that greedy Sam was so desperate to find?  They built almost an entire storyline that included half of the characters with this thing that ended up in the dumpster courtesy of Scott Baldwin.  Did I miss something here or did Helena really end up with the treasure after all? 

Anyway, going back to never having to work for a living, which of course means earning a paycheck, we have the dysfunctional Quartermaine family, starting with cranky Edward who may at one time worked hard building ELQ, but all he does nowadays is moan and groan about everything under the sun.  Then thereís Alan and Monica who happen to be in the medical profession, but can we honestly say that they really do ďplay doctorĒ?  How about Ned with his music business, L&B, which sounds more like a recreation instead of a job, and his brother, Dillon, who is a sweetheart, but what exactly does he do?  Letís not forget about their so-called mother, Tracy, who only knows how to rip off her family the first chance she gets.  Thereís Emily who is good at betraying patientsí confidence and her brother, Jason (does ďhit manĒ qualify as a paying job?).  Of course, letís not forget about Skye, although not really a true Quartermaine, she sure knows how to play the part.

Well, since the Quartermaines donít qualify as hardworking citizens letís look at some of the others.

Thereís the Spencer family, starting with Luke, who is a perpetual nightclub owner which gives him plenty of opportunities to indulge in his favorite passion, hitting the bottle.  Okay, weíll excuse Laura who canít possibly hold a job in the loony bin.  Too bad that Lucky had to quit the police force since he would have qualified as a wage earner.   We have Bobbie who is never doing her nursing duties at the hospital (where in the heck is she?) 

Okay, letís see who do we have left? 

Thereís Courtney who just inherited a bundle of money for saving some old lady and her dog (we should all be so lucky!).  How about Nikolas or is it, Connor?  It doesnít matter because either way he hasnít done anything that justifies a paycheck except run errands for Lorenzo Alcazar.  Hereís one character who has a lot of money at his disposal, but really what has he done to deserve it? 

Which reminds me of our favorite mob boss, Sonny Corinthos.  The only thing this guy seems to be doing these days is impregnating half of  the Port Charles population.  Hey, maybe Carly should open up a baby boutique to supply all the stuff for Sonnyís offspring.  Now, thatís a great idea!

Okay, who have I left out so far?  Letís see, we have Elizabeth who left town to have her baby (have they checked to make sure itís not Sonnyís?) and  her ex-husband, Ric, who is too busy trying to get back at his brother for lord knows what.  How about Alexis, a neurotic who spends most of  her time worrying about Sonny finding out heís the father of little Kristina.  Thereís Mr. Playboy, Jax, who only knows how to flaunt his millions to impress the ladies, which reminds me of  his ex-lover, Sam who has finally hit the jackpot because of her ďconditionĒ.  Guess she found her ďtreasureĒ after all! 

How could I forget about bad girl, Faith, who is only concerned about getting rid of anyone who stands in her way unless of course, she wants to take them to bed. 

Alright, folks, I am still looking and itís getting down to the nitty gritty.  Wait a minute, I just had a flash of  Mike behind the counter at Kellyís.  Now, he would qualify as a wage earner if only he didnít have his ďgambling problemĒ which means that most of his money is not earned legitimately.  Okay,  Iím going to need help here.  The million dollar question is, who in Port Charles actually works for a living and never had a penny handed to him or her?  Thatís something to think about next time you tune in to General Hospital!