Rip a RecapWell I can’t say I wasn’t warned… I’ve been told time and time again that writing recaps is a thankless, monotonous and basically shitty job. And by people who should know, people who’ve been there and taken it on the chin for jackdiddly. But nooooo, I just had to find out on my own thankyouverymuch. I started writing about one teensy, tiny episode, all in all not an insurmountable task, but then things kept jumping into my head that I wanted to put down that weren’t necessarily in that one little ‘ole eppy. What’s a girl to do?? So for those of you who don’t have Soapnet and haven’t had the time to fast forward through your weeks worth of GH – here’s what’s going on. PS – if you’re gonna read it, you’re gonna have to put up with my comments – so suck it up. The Emily/Mary/ConNik thing is rolling right along. Conner suddenly has a very breathy, moist-lipped cheering section when it comes to hypnotherapy. He can’t seem to figure out why Mary’s so dead set against it… could it be that he won’t remember her but will remember dressing like a Jack Sparrow wannabe instead? And besides, who can blame him for trying to block out Psycho Granny Helena??? Having the Stavrosicle as a pop was bad enough, and I like Alexis, but let’s face it – this is one gene pool that needs some Rid-X. Anyway, Mary’s beside herself with trying to prevent ConNik from finding out his real life and thus depriving her of probably some of the best sack time she’s logged in I don’t know how long. She’s been pumping Monica for info on the hotel fire; maybe in an attempt to explain away some of ConNik’s resurfacing memories. Meanwhile, I’m actually liking Emily when she deliberately baits Mary about Nikolas (guilt is good!) and using the back story of Jason’s accident, while kind of sleazy, is at least remaining true to the history of GH (which God knows doesn’t happen very often). I don’t, however, appreciate the fact that Emily has chosen not to reveal Nikolas’ aliveness to anyone including his Aunt or brother. That just smacks of selfishness, but hey, this is the gal that married one “love” of her life on her deathbed then hooked up with her childhood crush when he became available, so maybe being selfless isn’t high on her list of priorities. Mary’s latest deal is to try to manipulate Lorenzo (the girl has chutzpah!) into giving ConNik a new work assignment, preferably in a galaxy far, far away. The teen scene is picking up steam (ha! How many times have you read that online lately?) Sage hasn’t been around much for me to hate, which is a good thing. I’m jumping on board the train that is really digging Brooklyn (I think that’s how it’s supposed to be spelled, since she was named for the borough). She can actually sing, and I’m seeing a friend for Georgie girl, one who isn’t trying to steal her guy or d/ling nekid pics of her on the ‘net. Dillon I could eat with a spoon, so the idea that he’s gonna have trouble with his equipment is really freakin’ me out. COME ON – 17 year olds have trouble keeping the thing under control when the wind changes direction. I hate that Guza and Pratt are making Georgie ONCE AGAIN question Dillon’s attraction to her, hate it hate it hate it. It’s funny how OnStar has been mentioned in the last 5 episodes (I counted, I need a life), but they apparently won’t be able to use the brand name Viagra??? Don’t they realize that the largest demographic that consistently watches GH winter, spring, summer and fall – is their target audience???? Big mistake, big, big mistake – some advertising exec should lose his job over missing out on that bonanza!! With Brook Lynn and (yay!) the return of Lois, I’m hoping for at least some integration of adults in the summer stories, besides Carly, Sonny, Courtney and Jason. I loved Rena Sofer’s Lois – I actually thought that was her real voice, so convinced of her New Yawk accent was I. I like Lesli Kay, and I’ll give her a shot, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t get RealLois back. Best scenes for me this week were when Dillon discovered Lynn was his niece and did the grown up thing and alerted the cops to their whereabouts with the help of, what else? OnStar (“are you watching my finger?”) and then when they were ushered into the Q’s living room and Lynn defended Lois and got a good one in on Tracy by calling her “Granny” – that was worth waiting for. Also give big high 5s to Lois on hugging Georgie and mentioning that she was “Felicia’s baby girl” – nice tie in to the fact that Lois and Flea should be contemporaries. Gawd, wouldn’t it be awesome if Felicia, Lois and maybe Skye could get a girls nite out thing going?? How fab would that be? Throw in Alexis (why not?) and I’d pay big bucks to see that. Sonny’s been mostly comatose this week, which in my opinion, makes for a nice change from his regular holier-than-thou angst. I guess Nico will be the next victim of Jason’s love that dare not speak its name. Heard Carly’s gonna open up a can of whup ass on him after he decks Sam. Sorry, but Carly with a gun is lot more believable than Kung Fu Carly – what? is her baseball bat at the cleaners? Sam’s on the lam after deciding that marriage (at least to Jason) wasn’t for her, and Carly is being very Machiavellian in her attempts to hook Jason and Court back up. Jax is in the way, but only slightly. He’ll fall and fall hard, it’s the only way the writers can redeem a previously popular and still very highly paid actor. Again, the writers ask us to suspend reality when Carly and then Jason wing their way across the continents in a matter of a commercial break. Courtney and Jax were actually enjoying themselves in Italy until Carly showed up, then she got all demented and got herself thrown in jail and called Jason to bail her out. It was so contrived but it was at least funny that Jason, Courtney and Jax all called her on it. It was almost as if they expected that kind of thing from her. Then there was a nod to realism when after they all arrived home, Courtney complained to Carly about being jet lagged. Finally. Of course Jax later showed up with the well-know cure for jet laggedness of a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champers, too bad the wrong chick answered the door. Alexis and Ric have been on hold for the past few days. I guess the writers are just plumb out of witty conversation… although with Luke and Skye both off canvas, they should have a little extra lying around. I was kind of looking forward to Liz coming back and throwing Ric into a tizzy (get it?), but it sounds like Liz is going to be busy with the Nikolas/Emily/Lucky upcoming storyline. Not to mention she’s got a long lost bro making his way back to PC and they’ll have to squeeze him into the 48 minutes per day that they reserve for Sonny & Company. I know there was other stuff that happened in and around the eighty-four thousand commercials this week, but that was the gist of it. At least in my world. Recaps, it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta screw it!
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