January 11, 2005
I
was going to not use the
midi file that comes with
this webset since 99.9% of
people hate midi files,
but "Vincent" by Don
McLean is one of my
favorite songs, so I
couldn't bear to take it
off. Bear with it,
OK?
It's
snowing. The
appropriate description
would be "snowing like
mad." It was kind
enough to wait on the
"like mad" part until I
got the kids on the bus
and got inside. It
did snow like mad last
night, after three days of
raining steadily.
The three days of rain
took out a good bit of the
snow, so that it was down
to the hardest packed last
10 inches or so. Now
it's back up to my knees
again. I literally
groaned aloud when I was
getting Delena out the
door this morning and saw
Eric hadn't taken down the
trash. That meant I
had to wrangle the
dumpster all the way down
to the bottom of the
driveway, trudging through
the knee deep mess and
dragging that huge
dumpster behind me.
It was madness and took me
easily 20 minutes to do
it. I came in frozen
and fussing.
I
hate this snow. It's
official. Knowing
that I hate it, it still
keeps showing up.
You'd think it would take
its rejection with dignity
and get the hell out of my
yard. Instead, it
shows up with its friends,
sleet and slush.
It's
only the beginning of
January. We have a
good two more months of
this to go before clear
days are the standard.
Sure, we had snow up here
in April, but it was a two
day fluke. March is
when we moved up here and
the snow was gone,
although when Eric came up
in early March, there was
still a bit on the ground.
I suspect that last,
straggling bit of snow
likely fell the previous
December. >:<
Enough bitching about the
snow? Not by a
longshot, but I'll save it
for another column.
If I pace myself on the
snow bitching, we'll
likely both be healthier.
When
I was coming home from
town with Nathan on
Saturday, he was sleeping
soundly in the back seat,
using my coat for a
pillow. We hit a
particularly desolate
stretch of road that is
about a quarter mile long
just barely on the
outskirts of Diamond
Springs (still about 30
minutes from my house).
I was driving slower than
usual because of the rain
and I was surprise to see
a largish white dog
running beside the road.
There are no houses,
nothing but trees, along
this part of the road, so
it surprised me to see a
dog looking so determined,
definitely on a mission.
I slowed down on some kind
of protective instinct,
thinking of this poor dog
out in the rain and the
cold. There were no
other cars on the road, so
I eased up on the trotting
dog and that was when he
turned around and whipped
out some dog stink-eye on
me! In fact, it
wasn't even dog stink-eye,
it was WOLF stink-eye!
It was a white wolf with
grey and some black
through his fur, which
gave the overall
appearance of white.
I always figured the line
was so fuzzy between
wolves and huskies and
such that it would be hard
to tell the difference.
Not so. There was no
doubt in my mind.
Certainly, the "Save the
Wolf" "Little Red Riding
Hood Lied" folks are more
than welcome to wage their
campaign, but I am quite
sure that this
particularly wolf probably
ate grandma, a few little
pigs and then dressed up
in sheepskin to procure
some choice mutton.
He wasn't huge, but he was
mighty... mighty pissed
off. Once I got my
teeth back in my mouth and
my eyeballs shoved back in
my head, I drove on.
As I
passed by the turn off to
Somerset, I remembered
something Eric told me on
the way to Nathan's
Christmas program that I
should have told you back
then, but I think it
stunned me to such and
extreme that I had to
block out the memory to be
able to live with myself
and not kill my
husband. We were
going through the town of
Fairplay, which is beside
Somerset and Eric just out
of the blue busts out
with, "Oh, you know that
guy from Magnum PI has a
house around here."
!adoing! I replied,
"That guy from Magnum PI?
Most assuredly you are NOT
referring to The Great God
Tom Selleck by such a
benign moniker as 'that
guy from Magnum PI??'"
He says, "Tom Selleck,
that's the guy with the
mustache, right? Who
was in that movie with the
guys and the baby?
Yeah, that's him." !adoing!
I was stunned into
silence... for so many
reasons. Tom Selleck
is practically my
neighbor. Sure, it's
likely one of 9-10 houses
he owns, but one of them
is 20 minutes out my front
door. Sure, Eddie
Murphy has a house in El
Dorado Hills, which is
about 40 minutes from
here, but see, Eddie
Murphy is not on the
list.
Tom
Selleck, however, IS on
the list. Every
married person knows about
the list and it
might take years for you
to get around to
discussing it with your
partner or it might be
part of the prenup.
The list is the
group of people with whom
you are allowed to have
rampant, passionate,
heart-pounding, clothes
ripping, orifice
stretching, sweaty red hot
monkey sex should the
legitimate opportunity
ever present itself.
My list is: George
Clooney, Tom Selleck and
usually Johnny Depp.
I say usually Johnny Depp
because the third name
shifts around a good bit.
Sometimes it's Blake
Gibbons. Sometimes
it's Corbin Bernsen.
Sometimes, it's John J.
York. Eric can never
remember who is on my
list, so I change it out
as needed. Eric's
list is easy to remember.
Angelina Jolie, Angelina
Jolie and Angelina Jolie.
So you see, Tom Selleck
isn't just on the list,
he's on the permanent,
unchanging part of the
list.
Back
Yard
Front Yard
*sigh*
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