April 9, 2004

OK, so maybe that was a little harsh.

But you have to consider, the Dish Network guy was here yesterday to install my satellite TV.  I could have been enjoying SoapNet and TNT and other TV wonders right now.

But the equipment Radio Shack gave to Eric to give to the Dish Network guy was in the trunk of our car 2 hours' drive away.

Hence.

I have no TV until the beginning of next week.

When I could have had it now.

Yesterday even.

>:<

And my cast iron green demon door knocker is something he just can't remember packing...

...or having at the other house.

But he knows he took it off the fence.

If it's stolen with my Buddha and Calla Lilies, I will be very sad.

I hope the things he needs to pick up are still at the old house and not stolen or tossed.

Today should be the last pick up, then we finish unpacking here and we're done.

I don't have pictures up downstairs yet, but it's pretty well set up.

Today, I do the upstairs, which means I won't have to live out of clothes piles any more.  Dressers and closets all the way!

After that, I'm going to take a ton of pictures to show you guys.  :)  It's really shaping up nicely, but lord, this was a ton of work.

I look forward to "routine" and time to do the things I love to do again.

Soon!

My friend from Kentucky visited on Wednesday.  It was so great to see her AND she brought me 4 multi-colored calla lily bulbs!  I have never seen calla lilies of color!  I can't wait for them to come up!!!

Rather than bitch some more about all the work I have to do, I'm going to live you with some funnies for the weekend:

*~*~*~*~*

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"! I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.

Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
 

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
 

 Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"
 

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

And an interesting political tirade:

What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message:

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys.   We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.

6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan?  The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
 

And with that, the time has come for all good ladies to come to the aid of their upstairs packing.

Have a STELLAR weekend, everyone and know that someone here in Grizzly Flats, CA loves yous (that'd be me!).