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                                  December 26, 2004 
                                  
                                  Weird Dreams 
                                  
                                  If you had any doubts before that I have the 
                                  weirdest dreams on earth, you won't after this 
                                  column. 
                                  
                                  Backing up a bit, I probably won't be around 
                                  tomorrow since I plan to spend it cleaning if 
                                  my spirit will allow it at all.  I was 
                                  supposed to be doing that today, but a foul 
                                  mood from Eric, PMS from hell (dammit, I NEVER 
                                  used to have this beast) making me want to 
                                  brutally kill every living thing in this house 
                                  that is over 6 feet tall and named Eric and 
                                  the fact that it is something like -70 degrees 
                                  outside is undermining my interest in being 
                                  productive, so I've spent the day sitting and 
                                  cramping and moping a good bit.  A day of 
                                  mope without comfort food must be followed by 
                                  a day of penitent cleaning according to some 
                                  bullshit woman handbook somewhere, I am quite 
                                  sure.  My eyeballs hurt, my tummy hurts, 
                                  my back hurts, my head hurts and want to be 
                                  pampered.  In lieu of that (as it was so 
                                  incredibly not forthcoming that in other 
                                  reviews it would be laughable), self-pity took 
                                  over.  I am reading about the cool shit 
                                  other people got for Christmas and wished I 
                                  hadn't been as noble as I was.  I have to 
                                  remember for future reference how much noble 
                                  sucks. 
                                  
                                  So tomorrow is repent cleaning and the 
                                  summoning up of energy I don't have now and 
                                  the reclaiming of my home.  Appraiser 
                                  comes on Wednesday afternoon and the last 
                                  thing I want is her having the impression that 
                                  our family living here actually devalued the 
                                  home beyond the equity that has accrued.  
                                  The whole point is to pay off bills and get a 
                                  cash out so we can live without raising the 
                                  mortgage.  Goal in sight, prayers 
                                  ascending this Full Moon day. 
                                   That 
                                  catching you up to where we are now and where 
                                  we will be tomorrow when I'm not writing in 
                                  the nonsoapy, here are the dreams, in 
                                  chronological order rather than descending 
                                  order of weirdness. 
                                  
                                  Monday, December 20th 
                                  
                                  Dreamed I was in a thrift store I hadn't seen 
                                  before , but had a metaphysical section 
                                  (score!) and a clothes that fit me section and 
                                  a major book section.  Eric was there 
                                  with me, but kids were not.  As I went 
                                  through this thrift store (Eric will milling 
                                  about doing whatever Eric does when I'm not 
                                  paying attention to him), I was loading up on 
                                  stuff before I realized that the store had 
                                  absolutely everything in it I'd ever wished 
                                  for, plus a bunch of shit that I didn't even
                                  know to wish for that I wanted.  I 
                                  found Eric and told him that even though the 
                                  prices were great, I knew we weren't going to 
                                  have enough money to buy all I wanted.  
                                  The lady behind the counter overheard me and 
                                  said, "Mrs. Rasbold?"  I turned around, 
                                  did not recognize her and was surprised she 
                                  knew me.  "Yes?"  She looked 1000 
                                  different kinds of puzzled and said, "Why 
                                  would you buy any of this?  This is YOUR 
                                  store."  ?!  Party!  Then I 
                                  woke up, so I don't know if I closed the store 
                                  down and played with my crap or if other 
                                  people bought my crap.  I was feeling 
                                  rather possessive of the crap in my dream, so 
                                  I don't imagine I was particularly generous 
                                  with selling said crap. 
                                  
                                  Tuesday, December 21st 
                                  
                                  Didn't sleep well due to a pesky cold and 
                                  couldn't get a nice enough sleep cycle to 
                                  dream well.  No dice. 
                                  
                                  Wednesday, December 22nd 
                                  
                                  Made up for Tuesday.  My grandfather was 
                                  alive.  I adore my grandfather.  He 
                                  was a robust, large, "Big Fish" of a man (with 
                                  humility like no other, however) who loved to 
                                  tell stories and spend time with his 
                                  grandchildren and help others.  He died 
                                  several years ago on Christmas Day, shriveled 
                                  to about 90 pounds, wearing diapers and curled 
                                  into a fetal position... and he knew it.  
                                  It was horrible.   
                                  
                                  In my dream, he was alive and healthy and 
                                  jovial again.  But he had decided to die.  
                                  He invited everyone to his own funeral and had 
                                  arranged for a doctor to give him a lethal 
                                  injection that would let him drift off into 
                                  that never ending sleep, floating off our 
                                  mortal coil, so to speak.  I was 
                                  horrified, hysterical and trying to beg him 
                                  out of it.  I couldn't bear to lose him.  
                                  He was explaining how he just didn't want to 
                                  be here any more.  He was ready to go.  
                                  Tears were streaming down my face.  
                                  Nothing I could say was going to change his 
                                  mind.  They were going to take this 
                                  healthy, vibrant man and ease him away from us 
                                  forever. 
                                  
                                  I went to the bathroom to collect myself and 
                                  while I was gone, the funeral began.  I 
                                  could hear people singing softly.  I 
                                  hurried out and realized they were singing, 
                                  "Send In The Clowns."  I pushed my way 
                                  past hundreds of smiling people, trying to get 
                                  to where he was. I kept getting blocked and 
                                  pushed aside, but I finally broke through.  
                                  He was smiling, even through the painted clown 
                                  smile he was wearing.  He was in full 
                                  clown gear:  big shoes, plaid pants, 
                                  giant necktie, full face paint, white gloves.  
                                  He was resting on a gigantic representation of 
                                  an Operation game board and his body lined up 
                                  with that of the Operation guy.  His 
                                  right arm was tied to the board and as I got 
                                  there, the doctor injected something into him 
                                  and his nose lit up.  He smiled more 
                                  brightly and was gone.  So was my dream. 
                                  
                                  Thursday, December 23rd 
                                  
                                  I was at the branch of the river that runs 
                                  through Eric's mining claim.  It's more 
                                  like a sturdy, flowing creek there, about 20 
                                  feet across.  It was a nice day and we 
                                  were there with Eric's father and his father's 
                                  girlfriend, Ann.  We felt the ground 
                                  start to rumble and Eric's dad said, 
                                  "Something big is coming.  Better move 
                                  the chairs."  We backed up the lawn 
                                  chairs we'd been sitting in and the rumbling 
                                  became much louder.  The trees on each 
                                  side of the road down to the river started 
                                  bending way as a huge hamster ball made its 
                                  way down the path.  We were just far 
                                  enough to the side to avoid getting mowed 
                                  over.  There were two people inside the 
                                  hamster ball, smiling, laughing and working 
                                  hard to keep it rolling in the right 
                                  direction.  They waved at us and we waved 
                                  back.  They rolled the hamster ball into 
                                  the creek and went on across to the other 
                                  side, up the bank and out of sight.  We 
                                  moved our chairs back to where they were and 
                                  continued our conversation. 
                                  
                                  Friday, December 24th 
                                  
                                  I dreamed about two couples, my friend Sherry 
                                  and her husband Scott (and in dreaming this, I 
                                  was reminded that Paul and I also were friends 
                                  with a couple named Scott and Sherry) and Lucy 
                                  Coe and Kevin Collins from General Hospital 
                                  (go figure).  Eric told me that he wanted 
                                  to engage in a sexual relationship (mind you, 
                                  in real life, not only does he not know any of 
                                  these people, but the idea of a polyamorous 
                                  relationship would NOT be considered, much 
                                  less suggested)  with them in a swappy 
                                  kind of way.  At first, I was deeply 
                                  offended in that "what, I'm not enough for 
                                  you?" way, then I started to consider benefits 
                                  for myself and agreed that it might be a good 
                                  thing.  There would be no "slot b to slot 
                                  b" action, only a rearranging of the tab a 
                                  slot b situations, if you catch my drift.  
                                  I woke up before I found out if it benefited 
                                  me in any particular way.  Both Lucy Coe 
                                  and Sherry may rest assured that none of the 
                                  consideration of the idea translated into real 
                                  life.  Just another weird dream. 
                                  
                                  Saturday, December 25th 
                                  
                                  I was at a General Hospital fan event, sitting 
                                  on the front row.  Maurice Benard (Sonny 
                                  on General Hospital for you nonsoap people) 
                                  walked out on stage and reached his hand down, 
                                  giving his head a little jerk, indicating I 
                                  should get on stage with him.  I took his 
                                  hand and got on stage and he said (no 
                                  microphone, so just for me), "I hear you make 
                                  the best peanut butter fudge in the country 
                                  and I intend to get me some of it.  Now 
                                  what do I have to do to make that happen?"  
                                  Then he tongue kissed me for about 2-3 minutes 
                                  while I started thinking about making a whole 
                                  lot of peanut butter fudge.  I don't 
                                  particularly like Sonny on GH, but wow. I was 
                                  ready to make some fudge.  A whole lot of 
                                  it.  (I do make good fudge)  I 
                                  remember that Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis on GH) 
                                  had been sitting in the audience next to me 
                                  and when he kissed me, she said, "Oh for 
                                  Chrissakes" and got up and left.  I 
                                  remembered not caring and thinking I'd kiss 
                                  now, then make fudge and deal with her later. 
                                  
                                  Saturday, December 25th, Dream #2 
                                  
                                  (Strange because I only slept about 4-5 hours 
                                  last night and managed two dreams that I 
                                  remember.)  Eric's mother was here to 
                                  visit (different person than the one who was 
                                  with me when the hamster ball rolled past) and 
                                  brought LOTS of suitcases with her.  I 
                                  asked her where she wanted us to take them and 
                                  she said to take them out back.   We 
                                  did and I went inside to cook lunch for us.  
                                  Delena came running in to tell me to come look 
                                  what Grandma brought and when I got outside, 
                                  she had set up all of these racks in the back 
                                  yard and they were covered with the prettiest 
                                  clothes, purses, jewelry, shoes, books and all 
                                  kids of stuff that were just beautiful.  
                                  All in my taste and Delena's, with gothy 
                                  clothes for her and such.  She told us 
                                  she'd brought them all for us and to enjoy!  
                                  When I stopped dreaming, we were talking, 
                                  bug-eyed, through these awesome clothes.  
                                  This dream is interesting because to my 
                                  knowledge and based on the evidence I've seen, 
                                  Eric's mother doesn't have much affection for 
                                  me and doesn't feel I've brought anything 
                                  particularly positive to her son's life and 
                                  pretty much tolerates me because I'm there, 
                                  don't appear to be going anywhere soon and it 
                                  would be rude to do otherwise.  I can't 
                                  remember the last time she and I actually 
                                  spoke, although she used to call me and we'd 
                                  have good talks.  Now she calls Eric on 
                                  his cell phone and talks to him.  She and 
                                  her husband have always been extremely good to 
                                  us, so I have no cause for real complaint.  
                                  I just get the feeling she doesn't think much 
                                  of me as a person. 
                                  
                                  As I said, strange dreams. 
                                  
                                  But no hungry animal dreams.  :) 
                                  
                                  I have definitely come a long way from the 
                                  months and months of no dream memory after 
                                  first moving here in March.  Can you 
                                  believe it has been nearly a year since we 
                                  found out our rental house was going on the 
                                  market.  Goddess bless Maurine, the 
                                  broker, who started us on the road to even 
                                  imagining we could own a house!  
                                   
                                  
                                  So I'll likely be around on Tuesday, with any 
                                  luck telling you how sparkly my house looks 
                                  and how ready for Ms Generously Minded 
                                  Appraiser Woman I am.  If anyone would be 
                                  so kind as to come talk to me while I clean 
                                  and wipe a window or five, I'd be forever 
                                  grateful. 
                                  
                                  See You Tuesday,Katrina
 
 
                                  
                                  December 24, 2004 
                                  
                                  The laundry is aptly savored, washed, put 
                                  away, on hangers and a new batch is 
                                  accumulating.  I actually went through 
                                  the kids' pajama tub.  They have a big, 
                                  deep Rubbermaid tub that they keep their 
                                  jammies in.  They both wear the same size 
                                  jammies, so they interchange, but they also 
                                  often go to sleep in their clothes (shut up), 
                                  so the jammies get used once in a while.  
                                  (They take their baths in the morning)  
                                  This means I didn't go through the jammie tub 
                                  for a while, so when I got into it, I found 
                                  some jewels, like a couple of pairs of lost 
                                  jeans (score!) and one of Spooky's old play 
                                  socks.  :(  Major bummer.  I 
                                  still miss him so much.   
                                  
                                  I had an interesting experience yesterday 
                                  looking for cats.  We have been wanting a 
                                  couple more cats ever since Spooky went away.  
                                  The adoption outreach programs around here are 
                                  a little pricey since they include upkeep of 
                                  the animal, spaying or neutering, shots, 
                                  worming and all testing.  I have never 
                                  actually paid for a homeless animal before.  
                                  Of course, we get them spayed/neutered and 
                                  such.  I tend to find my animals where 
                                  they've been abandoned or else someone is 
                                  moving and can't take theirs with them.  
                                  We got Creep when a neighbor's cat had 
                                  kittens.  Usually, I am surrounded by 
                                  people who are begging you to take cats off 
                                  their hands.  Spooky has been gone for 
                                  more than three months and no cats. 
                                   
                                  
                                  So I heard about a humane society in Diamond 
                                  Springs and yesterday, while in town, Delena 
                                  and I decided to check it out.  The 
                                  little woman who was there must have taken an 
                                  instant dislike to us.  Evidently, it is 
                                  quite a tricky proposition to appropriately 
                                  place a used cat because she put us through 
                                  the frowning third degree.  She was 
                                  worried that we have small children in the 
                                  house because small children carry cats by the 
                                  head.  She was worried that we live in 
                                  Grizzly Flats because Delena mentioned she was 
                                  partial to black cats and "in Grizzly Flats 
                                  they have cults who do horrible things to 
                                  black cats, especially at Halloween."  
                                  Since the entire population of Grizzly Flats 
                                  consists of us, Delena's friend, Sabrina and 
                                  her family, our neighbor, Steve and a few 
                                  hundred members of "The Committee" who put on 
                                  Hamburger Night every Friday through the 
                                  Summer, I find that assertion suspect.  I 
                                  started to ask her if she had any points of 
                                  contact for the cults on the likelihood that 
                                  they were Witches who had been mislabeled as 
                                  cat killing cults, but thought I'd err on the 
                                  side of caution lest I be tossed into the 
                                  parking lot by this wiry little hellcat of an 
                                  outreach lady.  At least now I know that 
                                  Grizzly Flats has an ominous cat sacrificing 
                                  reputation.  See how we are?  I knew 
                                  there was something sinister about Grizzly 
                                  Flats Community Church.  It has that 
                                  Thomas Tryon/Shirley Jackson feel to it.  
                                  If I could break into it, there might be a cat 
                                  store room where I can liberate some potential 
                                  sacrifices. 
                                  
                                  So here I stand with St Agnes, Protector of 
                                  Used Cats, trying to convince her that I am 
                                  worthy to buy one of her used cats.  She 
                                  finally, reluctantly, confessed that some 8-10 
                                  week old kitties were coming in today.  
                                  Ran it past Eric, who really wants kitties, 
                                  but he decided he wanted to wait until after 
                                  the appraisal on Wednesday.  (Hurray!  
                                  It is actually scheduled!) 
                                  
                                  Since he and Delena will be picking up on 
                                  Friday, a week from today, I suspect that 
                                  unless St Agnes has a really good memory, he 
                                  will have to go through the whole process of 
                                  convincing her he's worthy.   
                                  
                                  I still want a weenie dog.   
                                  
                                  Dammit. 
                                  
                                  So tell me, appraisers, brokers and appraisees 
                                  out there.  How showcase should the house 
                                  be when the appraiser comes?  I haven't 
                                  done this before.  With any luck, the 
                                  refi will be done by mid-January, 2-3 weeks.  
                                  When that happens, we should be OK.  It 
                                  will pay off enough of our bills (car, for 
                                  instance) without raising our payments so that 
                                  it will be as though we have another part time 
                                  job coming into the budget.  The Universe 
                                  is definitely making us work for this.  
                                  Based on what we were originally told, it 
                                  should have been done this week.  Nothing 
                                  is final yet, but it's much, much closer to 
                                  being final.   
                                  
                                  Josh and Valerie were able to finally get a 
                                  car, so they are bringing the grandkids up 
                                  here tomorrow instead of us going to 
                                  Sacramento, which suits me just fine.  I 
                                  still get extremely sick riding to Sac and 
                                  this is much better.   
                                  
                                  Today is Eric Rasbold Day and he is forbidden 
                                  from doing any housework and gets anything he 
                                  asks for.  He's still asleep upstairs at 
                                  the moment, so we will see the degree to which 
                                  he takes advantage of this.  New Year's 
                                  Eve is Katrina Rasbold Day, or so I have 
                                  deemed.  Something tells me I should have 
                                  scheduled MY day first to see how it plays 
                                  out, then gauge his day accordingly. 
                                   
                                  
                                  My natural inclination toward generosity is 
                                  going to be the undoing of me. 
                                  
                                  Joe was telling me that one of his favorite 
                                  memories of childhood was a practice Paul and 
                                  I had for many years of taking each son out in 
                                  turn on the weekend.  Each week, one 
                                  would have "their" day when they got our 
                                  undivided attention and were allowed to choose 
                                  a restaurant where we would have lunch.  
                                  We'd usually go shopping as well and buy them 
                                  a small something.  Paul and I really 
                                  enjoyed it as well. It gave us a good 
                                  opportunity to get to know each child as an 
                                  individual rather than as a group.  This 
                                  went on until our first divorce, then I 
                                  couldn't afford to go out to eat much.  
                                  His memory, coupled with the knowledge that I 
                                  will soon have 5 days a week of alone time 
                                  after Dylan starts public school and Nathan 
                                  goes to full days on January 3rd, prompted me 
                                  to start the same tradition with my little 
                                  kids.  Now, each weekend when I go to 
                                  town, the kids will take turns going with me 
                                  while the other two get at home time with Dad.  
                                  I would love it if we could both go, but 
                                  babysitting isn't available and this is the 
                                  next best thing.  When they are older and 
                                  can babysit themselves, Dad can go too.  
                                  Meanwhile, I get to focus on my kiddies and 
                                  always know I have special time with each one. 
                                  
                                  Oh!  I just did the coolest thing!!  
                                  Nathan wanted to be a king with a crown and a 
                                  mustache.  I had an old soft plastic 
                                  crown in the shed that we used for a "Lugh at 
                                  the Gate" skit a couple of years ago.  It 
                                  was behind a buttload of boxes and I could see 
                                  it, but couldn't get it it.  With a 
                                  bamboo torch, I was able to snag it and safely 
                                  maneuver it over the boxes (yay me!).  
                                  Then, we tied his fleece Spongebob blanket 
                                  over his shoulder like a robe, but what 
                                  to do about the mustache??  I put a strip 
                                  of scotch tape on his upper lip and I could 
                                  use a sharpie marker to draw an altogether 
                                  respectable mustache on to the tape! 
                                  Yeah, buddeee! 
                                   
                                  
                                  The tape even worked its way off without 
                                  trauma.  :) 
                                  
                                  Life is great!  Have a Happy Holiday, 
                                  Christmas folks. 
                                  
                                  Love,K
 
 
                                  December 22, 
                                  2004 
                                  First off, I 
                                  have started a separate journal, this time a Live Journal.  I've had a rush, as is 
                                  typical of the dark, Winter times, of 
                                  wonderful spiritual conversations with people 
                                  and rather than clog up this journal with lots 
                                  of religious and spiritual talk that some 
                                  folks might not be interested in, I have given 
                                  them their own little home.  This is the 
                                  link: 
                                  
                                  
                                  http://www.livejournal.com/users/divaearthmom/ 
                                  I hope to 
                                  update it at least a couple of times a week.  
                                  I've been blessed with some really cool 
                                  experiences and writing them out helps me to 
                                  process them better. 
                                  Also, part of 
                                  our "Winter Work" for planning out our Spring 
                                  planting involves journaling about the 
                                  categories we picked at Solstice, so this will 
                                  give me an online place to do that.  When 
                                  I write in long hand, my head is going faster 
                                  than my hand and it gets frustrating for me. I 
                                  tend to lose thoughts before I can get them 
                                  down. 
                                  I got my house 
                                  very clean yesterday, so I am most cocky 
                                  today.  strut strut strut  I still 
                                  have some pans to wash (around 9pm last night, 
                                  I said, "That's enough!") and laundry to do, 
                                  but I can do that at a casual pace today.  
                                  Savor that laundry! (ha ha) 
                                  We also took down 
                                  the tree yesterday and my home is back to 
                                  normal.  Next year, I have decided that 
                                  we will retire the 20+ year old artificial 
                                  tree (1981, so what?  23?) in favor of a 
                                  brand new one with the lights already 
                                  attached.  I figure an investment 
                                  every 20 years isn't bad.  Poor Eric 
                                  tries, but one of the few things at which the 
                                  guy does not excel is light placement.  
                                  He winds the lights around the tree until it 
                                  looks like it is being restrained by the 
                                  strands rather than decorated.  Then the 
                                  tree spends the entire holiday looking like a 
                                  kidnap victim.  It makes me want to put a 
                                  blindfold on its top rather than an angel.  
                                  I figure the pre-lighted tree will save us all 
                                  a great deal of furrowed browdom. 
                                  I love 
                                  holiday decorations, but get easily bored by 
                                  them, then start craving my old arrangement.  
                                  My house was happy to be back to normal again. 
                                  
                                  
                                                        
                                  
                                  I had a terrible night 
                                  of sleep for no reason in particular.  I 
                                  was flopping around, moving among different 
                                  dreams about Paul (my first husband) and my 
                                  mother and father.  Don't remember any of 
                                  the details.  I just realized I haven't 
                                  had the hungry animals dream since I forced 
                                  myself to continue the dream and get all of 
                                  the animals fed.  That was what,  a 
                                  month or more ago?  Yep, 
                                  
                                  November 23rd.  
                                  Oh, and I did shave the cat (for real, not in 
                                  a dream).  He took it like a man and now 
                                  is sporting a kind of kitty Mohawk, walking 
                                  around like, "OK, you got a problem with 
                                  that?" 
                                  
                                   
                                  Ha! I think 
                                  I might need one of these: 
                                  
                                  
                                  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2294615235 
                                  
                                                       
                                  Well, THAT 
                                  didn't go particularly well:   | K | Kind |  | A | Awkward |  | T | Technological |  | R | Revolutionary |  | I | Intelligent |  | N | Naive |  | A | Appealing |  |  |  | R | Refreshing |  | A | Appreciative |  | S | Strange |  | B | Busy |  | O | Orderly |  | L | Lucky |  | D | Delicious | 
 Name Acronym Generator
 From
                                   
                                  Go-Quiz.com
 
                                  OK, the only 
                                  one I really have a puzzled look about is 
                                  "Naive."  But then, I didn't think I was 
                                  intimidating either until a few people hipped 
                                  me to that (dude).  Maybe I am 
                                  intimidating in my naiveté. 
                                  Orderly?  
                                  Not where it counts, anyway. 
                                  
                                   
                                  Damned near 
                                  devastated that the Showtime exclusive series 
                                  "Dead Like Me" has not been renewed.  
                                  Bastards.  I like so few shows and now 
                                  they have to screw with them.  "The Dead 
                                  Zone" should be showing up again in the 
                                  summer, I'm told.  "The Sopranos" will 
                                  start up again... some day.  Last season, 
                                  it took a year and a half to get a new 
                                  episode.  "Scrubs" is in reruns, but a 
                                  rerun of Scrubs is better than a first run of 
                                  almost everything else.  DLM is looking 
                                  for another venue, but if it's not premium 
                                  cable (HBO, Cinemax, etc), it's going to be 
                                  seriously compromised because the show is so 
                                  completely dialog driven.  Losing the 
                                  swearing and adult situations will deeply scar 
                                  the basic integrity of the show.  I heard 
                                  they are courting Sci-Fi Channel, which I feel 
                                  would be a mistake for the above reasons.  
                                  Oh well, PG-13 Dead Like Me is better than no 
                                  Dead Like Me. 
                                  
                                                       
                                  One of the 
                                  gifts I grabbed for the kids is a mini 
                                  trampoline.  Of course, that means *I* 
                                  have a mini-trampoline/rebounder, which I plan 
                                  to put to good use. It's a really GOOD one 
                                  too.  The only problem is that (eek) it 
                                  doesn't show a maximum poundage, so I am 
                                  worried that having my tonnage jumping up and 
                                  down on it, arms flailing and ass in the wind, 
                                  might pop the little canvas straps.  I 
                                  hope they are chanting, "light as a feather, 
                                  stiff as a board" the whole time I'm a'hoppin'.  
                                  Probably more like, "Light as a... 
                                  aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh.... pop pop pop!" 
                                  
                                   
                                  Wow!  
                                  Aleve causes heart attacks! 
                                  
                                  Naproxin is being seriously studied after 
                                  some old folks who were taking it in an 
                                  Alzheimer's study developed a 50% increase in 
                                  cardio-vascular episodes.  That's quite a 
                                  chunk!  If you or someone you love... 
                                  
                                                       
                                  An EOS 
                                  reader sent me this wonderful thing: 
                                  Many years 
                                  ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented.  
                                  It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies 
                                  Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered 
                                  into the English language.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The first couple to be shown in bed together 
                                  on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma 
                                  Flintstone.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Every day more money is printed for Monopoly 
                                  than the US Treasury.
 
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Men can read smaller print than women can; 
                                  women can hear better.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Coca-Cola was originally green.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 It is impossible to lick your elbow.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The State with the highest percentage of 
                                  people who walk to work:  Alaska
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 
                                  28% (now get this...)
 
 The percentage of North America that is 
                                  wilderness: 38%
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the 
                                  age of eleven:  $6,400
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The average number of people airborne over the 
                                  US any given hour: 61,000
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper 
                                  in their hair.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The first novel ever written on a typewriter: 
                                  Tom Sawyer.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 The San Francisco Cable cars are the only 
                                  mobile National Monuments.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Each king in a deck of playing cards 
                                  represents a great king from history:
 
 Spades - King David
 Hearts - Charlemagne
 Clubs -Alexander, the Great
 Diamonds - Julius Caesar
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 
                                  12,345,678,987,654,321
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 If a statue in the park of a person on a horse 
                                  has both front legs in the air, the person 
                                  died in battle.
 
 If the horse has one front leg in the air the 
                                  person died as a result of wounds received in 
                                  battle.
 
 If the horse has all four legs on the ground, 
                                  the person died of natural causes.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Only two people signed the Declaration of 
                                  Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and 
                                  Charles Thomson.  Most of the rest signed 
                                  on August 2, but the last signature wasn't 
                                  added until 5 years later.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles 
                                  of what?
 
 A. Their birthplace
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. Most boat owners name their boats.  
                                  What is the most popular boat name requested?
 
 A. Obsession
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far 
                                  would you have to go
 until you would find the letter "A"?
 
 A. One thousand
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, 
                                  windshield wipers, and laser printers all have 
                                  in common?
 
 A. All invented by women.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
 
 A. Honey
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Q. Which day are there more collect calls than 
                                  any other day of the year?
 
 A. Father's Day
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured 
                                  on bed frames by ropes.  When you pulled 
                                  on the ropes the mattress tightened, making 
                                  the bed firmer to sleep on.  Hence the 
                                  phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 
                                  years ago that for a month after the wedding, 
                                  the bride's father would supply his son-in-law 
                                  with all the mead he could drink.  Mead 
                                  is a honey beer and because their calendar was 
                                  lunar based, this period was called the honey 
                                  month ... which we know today as the 
                                  honeymoon.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and 
                                  quarts... So in old England, when customers 
                                  got unruly,
 the bartender would yell at them "Mind your 
                                  pints and quarts, and settle down."  It's 
                                  where we get the phrase "mind your P's and 
                                  Q's"
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had 
                                  a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of 
                                  their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, 
                                  they used the whistle to get some service.  
                                  "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by 
                                  this practice.
 
 AND FINALLY
 
 75% of people who read this will try to lick 
                                  their elbow
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
                                  Oh come on, 
                                  you guys DIDN'T, did you? 
                                  Time to 
                                  savor the laundry a little more.  :)   
                                  Much Love,Katrina
 
                                  
                                   
                        
                        
                        
                        
                           
                                     
 
  
 
   
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