Wie geht's, meine Schatzie?

It's time to belly up to the buffet and languish over your weekly fill of schnitzengruben from your old pal, Sage.  It's good to be with all of you again and I truly hope your July 4th celebration was a sight to behold.

The fireworks that has erupted in the sky ain't nuthin compared to the explosions going on behind the scenes on the ABC soaps, so I'll get to all that in just a bit. 

First off, I hope everyone has enjoyed their week of NO POPUPS on Eye on Soaps!  Does everyone have have popup killer to the point that it doesn't really make a difference?  :)  Did anyone notice?  If you did and would like to keep it that way, I want to make sure everyone knows that we're getting down to the wire on EOS donations for July.  Our expenses will be due the end of this week and with Katrina's husband still laid off and me still trying to take care of Ma, we're definitely needing to still rely on our readers to keep Eye on Soaps alive!  We're so grateful for all of the donations we've received this year and trust that we'll be able to keep going.  If you were thinking of contributing to Eye on Soaps this month, now would be the best time to do it to make sure there is enough fundage in the bank when the charge comes through to the account.   For this particular month, if Katrina and I have to scrounge to get enough money in the account at the last minute, you're likely to get a big ol' "Page Not Found" prompt for a little while at least.  Just so you don't think we're the only bums on the net, the Sonny and Carly fansite, No Ordinary Love and the super popular Wubs.net (formerly Gedstern's) also rely heavily on reader contribution, as do a lot of other sites.  It's a tough and expensive world out there and we're working hard to provide you the very best in ABC Soap and off topic commentary on the net, as well as spoilers and other fun stuff.  We'll keep doing our part if you'll help us stay here to do it!  We definitely have no interest in becoming a "members only" paid site and fully believe we can do this on voluntary donations only. Contributions that happen after the expenses are paid help toward next month and reimburse our groceries if we have to dip in to keep us afloat!  Our readership is up almost 25,000 above what we were 3 months ago.  We LOVE that we are growing so much and we are very, very grateful that our readers are so dedicated about helping us stick around!  Each month when we think we aren't going to make it, some last minute help comes in and there we are again!!  With your ongoing support, we'll always be here and for that we are truly grateful!

Now, one other thing before we get into the dish!!

As you know, there are a LOT of fan events coming up this summer and as you also know, I'm stuck here with Ma, feeding, tending and listening to her fuss!  Here is a way that you can take me with you to those events you're going to and let me live vicariously through you!  It's THE SAGE STICKER!!  I have a few things in my store, mostly because it's a pain in the ass to create things and my computer time is limited, not to mention that the stuff in the store has such a high base price that no one can really afford it.  This is cheap and fun!  If you click on the sticker to the left, you'll get to the page on my store that has them and they're only like $2.50 each.  You can stick me on your shirt (next to your warm pillows o' love - or, should you be a masculine sort , your pectoral rocks of Gibraltar) and I can say "Hello Darlings!" to everyone you meet!  The spycam set up in the cat's glasses will transmit to me all that you see and the cigarette holder is actually a microphone!!  That will let me hear as well!  It's like you're undercover for Sage!  (And the Captain Morgans that is burning nicely in my tummy tummy makes that just a lovely thought right now!)  OK, I made up the spycam microphone stuff, but who knows?  Maybe it's really there and I'm making up the making up part!  Just in case, be sure and talk into your boob from time to time and tell it that you love it!  I'll hear!

Speaking of the Cap'n (and I don't mean Crunch, Bebe), I got the most geeelorious motherload today from my favorite bartender, Dutchie, who loves me almost as much as I love her and sent me a buttload of cannies for my birthday!!  Like, she and Katrina were the ONLY ones who gave me (but I got a monster buncha cool cards cyberwise and I thankee all VERY much!!!) presents and I love them for it!  I shan't talk about how my family (that'd be the false family that birthed me, not my real family online) forsook me and abandoned me because then I'll ruin the perfectly spectacular buzz I have going on right now.  But DUTCHIE sent me all this faboo candy AND this bottle of Captain Morgan's which is now half gone.  Since I do NOT abuse alcohol (as in spilling it), I can ass/u/re U it was put to good use.  The bitch of it is that after she sent my goodies, to prove no good deed goes unpunished, poor Dutchie's house tried to burn down, so she's all homeless and all until January when her house is rebuilt and ready for her Queenliness to re-inhabit.  Thank da Gods no one was hurt, but her house is icky and I want all several thousand of you guys to gather round her and give her a big ol' cyber Sage's Darlings hug and a little butt cuddle while I crown her Queen Dutchie, the most beautiful homeless chick I know.  Don't worry about my girl.  She is staying with her sis and all is well, but man, did her week go awry or WHAT??  Lovin' my Dutchie!  (apologies to the rose queen whose head I stole for that picture.  Sometimes, you just gotta take one for the team, Rosie).  Keep an eye on my girl, Lenore, my Precious Lover!

NOW on to the babble about the show.

The official stuff is so nonexistent that I'm going to have to go with the "talk" that I'm hearing from around the set, so this is all just gossip and get off that "but you SAID, *huff*huff" and "Sage's shit never happens *blah*blah*blah*" because this column is all about just yakking it up (like a hairball, I guess) on the idle crap I've heard.

AMC

Oddly, I heard that almost no one involved was happy with Jeddy Peck's return as Jake.  Some folks thought it was too short, others thought it was poorly done and basically unnecessary, others (wow) really didn't want him back and were glad when he was gone again.  I wouldn't look for a redux anywhere soon. 

Rumors persist of David Canary leaving, possibly through a violent end for both Adam and Stuart together.  This leaves Liza and Mama Marian in a wicked turmoil of guilt and mess, especially if the show follows through with an idea that was tossed around of Marian actually causing their deaths inadvertently.  Frons is very much in an "off with their head" mode and although ABC is bane to lose any more star power to other networks, we should still look for serious cast changes all across the board on all shows.  Nothing is sacred and decisions are being batted back and forth through the chain of command like a Norwegian volley ball.  We're still hearing that Canary has been entertaining offers from other networks and may just walk away after all.

In a meow, meow moment, I heard that art imitates life in the story about AMC man (character) most likely to be murdered.  He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned on My Site is likely to be killed off and quickly forgotten as Miscellaneous Bad Guy in the lost anals (spelling intentional this time) of AMC history.  Turns out the brass doesn't like the way he and his reps have been interacting with the fans and a few of the cast members aren't happy with his attitude either, so plans for a long term story with the actor in question have been nullified, at least for the time being.  Seems that the guy seriously overestimated his popularity with fans and his standing on the show and like the snake who doesn't realize he's been cut in half, the actor is the last to know and just keeps wiggling.  Is it really so hard to believe that decisions are made in in place long before an actor or their "people" are aware of it?  Pfft, NO.  If you don't believe it, just watch GH this summer and see what happens.

There have been a few rumbles of bringing back the Santos family, now that Maria has her eggs back in her basket and is a full fledged NotMaureen again.  With Kelly and Mark out of pocket, the idea of recast was declined, as was the thought of bringing back Julia and Noah, recast.  Instead, they opted for the cheaper, less satisfying meal of bringing back what is likely the most despised member of the family, Rosa, previously played lacklusterly by Alana de la Garza.  Definitely a recast and possibly a reverse SORAS as they intend to stick her with the ever so blah teen AMC scene.  With Laurie on the way out and Petey and Jamie being SORAS'd into god knows what, it's hard to tell where she's going to fall.  Since Frons was just babbling in his embarrassingly inane Soap City interview about the browning of ABC, I'm sure it's a move to say, "See?  See?  We have not-so-white people on our shows!"

Recasting Leo???  That's what I'm hearing.  Greenlee and Carlos (or "Gros" as they are called in my house) didn't spark as hoped and nothing short of a resurrected Leo, in the form of a recast since Josh Duhamel is firmly wrapped up in his new prime time series, "Las Vegas," will thaw the heart of ice maiden, Greens... although...

Yes, it's true!  A primal, heated romance between David and Greenlee was definitely planned and may still happen.  David has not yet finished his descent into grief and what comes of it, I'm told, will shock us all.  Not sure if they've yet figured out what that will be, but it's gonna shock us!

I also hear that Mama 'Nessa might be not quite dead just yet!

I hear that the powers that be are so impressed with young Michael Jordan who plays Reggie Porter that they have long term plans for keeping him around.

OLTL

When Roscoe Born left the role of Mitch Lawrence (last aired June 30th), many on the cast were sorry to see him go as the actor was very well liked.  He enjoys playing Mitch to the hilt and when the future of the character was discussed with him at a critical turning point (around the time when he went blind), it was decided that rather than continue on with his 3 year contract and allow Mitch to be redeemed by Jessica's love and hesitant devotion, that Mitch would slide full scale into madness and be killed off.   They took his wishes seriously and respected his decision and the parting was mutual.  Seems they may have learned their lesson by losing fan fave, Roger Howarth (Todd), who said, "No, really, I'm not kidding, I don't dig playing Todd as romantic lead or family man." 

Speaking of Todd, the big question on everyone's mind is whether or not Walker is really Todd himself.  Seems that decision has not yet been made and hinges on whether or not a suitable recast for Manning can be found.  If not, the foundation is in place for Walker to become even more Toddian than he is currently.  The cast has been told specifically NOT to discuss that possibility.  The subject is off limits.

The other big issue involving OLTL is the rumor circulating that it is going to be dropped down to a half hour show.  Let me assure you that it this point, that is rumor only, stemming from some hair brained notion ABC has of developing a daytime reality show and moving it into a half hour left by Port Charles and a half hour of OLTL.  Someone speculated that the show dropping ratings would be axed to a half hour and someone else filled in the blank that it would have to be OLTL and suddenly the rumor was everywhere.  For now, it's nothing to get twisted up about and is just an idea that is floating around.

Brian Frons got his Prez of ABC Daytime alligator boats lodged firmly into his store bought teeth when in a recent Soap City USA interview he described Kathy Brier (Marcie) as "...not beautiful... overweight..."  Fans erupted in anger over such a callous remark of the size 10 Brier and furious e-mails from fans were answered by a bevy of Frons Flunkies with the cut and paste, "Sorry to offend. My point was that Kathy is not the typical soap opera beauty (size 0, blonde, etc), yet she is a great talent and VERY POPULAR and I am very proud to have her on our network.  Brian."  Yeah, keep digging, Brian.  I'm betting his birth name was "Richard."  I won't even dignify with comment the other bullshit he blathered on about in regard to the ABC soaps.  Be sure and take some anti-depressant and let it reach therapeutic value before you read it if you come across it.

Rumor has it that Bruce Michael Hall is already being recast out of the roll of Joey.  Bad news, blame the actor, I guess.  Maybe they'll cast his twin brother.

The intended re-romance for Roxie and Max may or may not happen.  James Depaiva has been hitting the wrong side of the powers that be lately and isn't sitting as pretty as his lovely wife, Kassie, these days.  It's getting to the point that parting with a handshake might be the best way to go.

Look for Jack Manning to also get the SORAS treatment soon.  Babies on the set aren't a fave these days.

GH

I ain't got nothing to say about this show.  Let's laugh at it instead, shall we?

HERE

And with that, Big Daddy's out of here for another Monday.  Much love through your week, darlin's!