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Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. 

I used to have a long disclaimer here for the confused and manners-challenged people who don't know the difference between a "rumor" or "gossip" and an actual spoiler, but screw it.  Angry, bitter, small minded people will always talk their trash to compensate for their own 1st chakra frustrations and inadequacies. 

When you read those vicious people on the message boards, just shake your head and remember they aren't getting any play, so they're grumpy.  Pity them, then dismiss them.

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP.

Once Again,

A big thank you to everyone who donated to Eye on Soaps to keep us on the net for another month.  We'll always be here as long as you help us stick around.  If anyone else wants to contribute, click on the PayPal or Options box above.

What a month it has been.  I've always adored the Fall, but it brings with it so much work!  I do know that next year, I'm not putting out anything near the garden, herbs and veggies, as we did this year.  We just don't use that much food any more and since most of the girls moved away, it's hard to find homes for it.  I guess I pretty much just did it out of habit.  We've (Colin and I) been harvesting fruit from the trees, veggies from the garden, herbs for Mom from the herb garden and it seems like it never ends.  I thought I was about finished, but it looks like we're going to have one more swipe through yet to go.  I've been harvesting and canning and freezing and bagging until it feels like I'm doing it in my sleep.  I sent a ton of it to Colin's friends and family, pushed off as much as I could onto Kye, called in a huge number of my ex-clients to come in and graze through what was left (and you know they were all begging for me to do their hair and sweetie, when Sage retires, he is RETARRED!!  NO MORE!!  DOWN, girls, down!!).  Finally, it's all gotten pretty manageable, but then there's the business of what's yet to come.  I am going to go to one of the homeless shelters or churches and see if any of them are interested in coming to pick through the next wave.  As they are each year, my hands are covered with scratches and dings and scrapes to the point that I can barely type.  My muscles have even been aching a bit, which shows that I'm getting older and need to start taking better care of the bod.  Lenore, get over here and help me take care of this bod, baby!

Mom is gearing up for her birthday when all of the girls are coming in to have a party for her.  They have worked together so that (supposedly) I don't have to provide anything or do anything which works for me.  That means I can just sit back and eat!  Since her birthday is on the 31st, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating for a while and then come back here for the rest of the party.  The break from kiddies will be great.  I love kids and it's wonderful to have them in, but sometimes, en masse, they can be a bit overwhelming when I'm quite accustomed to my relatively quiet life.  Then, after the little beggars go to sleep,  I can stealthily raid their stash.  I am da mastah at raiding in such a way that I get an awesome array of stuff and they never miss it.  Bwahahaha.  It's just considered "the house's take." 

I'm tremendously excited about Mom's birthday because Colin had a really, really nice full sized electronic keyboard that he won as a door prize at last year's company Christmas party and never uses (doesn't play, isn't interested in playing).  He's letting me have for the two of us to give to Mom as a gift.  (Everybody say, "Yayyy!")  She is a trained concert pianist and has a lot of trouble sitting up at the upright piano (which is, like, as old as dirt) to play and this she will be able to put onto the table on wheels that fits over her bed and play away.  We can crank up the head of her bed and slide the table over and she can just go for it.  She is going to be SO excited.  I know how much she misses her music.  We crawled up into the attic the other day and found a big box of her old, old, old sheet music and have put it together with the few books and sheets she had downstairs to have it all ready for her.  We'll have to give her extra heart medicine before we lay that one on her!

OLTL

Speaking of needing heart medicine, I thought I was going to have to start compressions and get the defibrillator when Mom heard me mention to Katrina that Ty Treadway was going to do a brief stint as Troy again on OLTL.  She has always loved him and was really eager for him to return.  From what I'm hearing, he will be the "Music Box Killer," a serial killer that starts paring down the population of Llanview.

I've also heard that the behind the scenes drama at OLTL is just absolute turmoil and that basically, NO ONE's job is sacred any more.  For a show that's running so smoothly on screen (it's really the only one I honestly TRY to watch every day any more), it makes up for it all off screen.  The biggest problem is that ABC President of Daytime, Brian Frons, is taking a heavy hand in scripting and casting and is demanding that scenes be completely changed and rewritten almost every day.  Even the most docile and professional of actors are starting to get fed up and from what I've heard, the long arm of the Music Box Killer could swing toward anyone who decides to get froggy and start croaking.  I even heard that Michael Malone, creative consultant to head writer, Josh Griffin, stormed off the set recently, having had enough of the bullcrap from highers up.  Pfft.  I don't care who Ty kills (other than the sacred Starr, Addie, Dorian and David Vickers) as long as he does it with his shirt off.

Look for another return to Llanview for Clint Ritchie to reprise the role of Clint Buchanan on the 17th for Natalie's wedding.  His visits to and from the set bring a tension of their own.  There has long been a push for Clint to return on a more permanent basis (although ex-executive producer, Gary Tomlin, a personal friend of Ritchie's, was more enthusiastic about it than the current regime), but Ritchie is perfectly happy on his ranch with his horses and the last I heard, has no interest in returning full time.  Some of the other cast members aren't too thrilled about shifting around to accommodate his return and working the revolving door, which creates some thick air at times.  

I have a confession to make that really wrecks my soul.  I actually broke down and called the Robin Strasser hotline tonight (212-414-5300 - long distance charges apply) because Lord, I just love that beautiful Diva woman so much, on and off screen.  Foolishly, I hoped for some words like "bloodbath" and "pink slips" and "drama" to be tossed around a bit, but I ended up listening to her talk extensively about the onion/lentil soup she was making for someone at work who was sick.  I had to hang up a good bit into it because the more I listened, the more she sounded exactly like my sister, Marji and it was creeping me out quite a good bit.  *shudder*  I love Marji, but I also have some rather spank me for I've been a bad, bad boy feelings about Dorian and two worlds were colliding in a very frighteningly distasteful, nightmarish way. *shudder* 

Still no word (hey, SOMEONE knows somewhere!) on how and how long Al is sticking around as a ghost or otherwise.  We get to see his shady self first tomorrow and from then, who knows.  We know that ABC tends to be a lying sack of shee-at when they know the fans really, really want something.  (Memory #981234:  Gillian's back!!!  Pfft.)

In a week on Oct 22nd, my precious sweetie, Susan Batten will be back to help Luna give Max some advice, which facilitates the exit of James DePaiva.  The question now hanging in the air is what will happen to Gabrielle with a Bo and Nora reunion firmly in the works.

AMC

Other than the fabulous impending glimpse of Mark Pinter as Roger Smythe on the same day that Lady Luna lights up Llanview, October 22nd.  He'll show up in a dream Greenlee has.  Who cares, as long as he shows up.  What, though, if he didn't really die but was taken away to the witness protection program, the better to set up the REAL Proteus, from whom Vanessa was merely a front... perhaps one of her ex-lovers/husbands?  I'll suspend reality to get Roger back on the show and see Greens deal with her torn Daddy loyalties.

An affair?  For David and Erica?  WTF?

I, for one, hope Binky really does name her baby Myrtle.

Speaking of Bianca, I'm being besieged with letters from angry to frustrated Lianca fans who are demanding to know WHEN their favorite couple will get together and WHY there are so many BAM (Bianca and Maggie) wet dreams playing out on the screen in the meantime.  First off, I hope all of you know that I have no more pull with the shows than YOU do, so I respectfully request that people stop asking me to "make it happen."  Secondly, as I've been saying, from everything I hear, there is going to be a Lena and Bianca reunion in the future, instrumented by Maggie.  That's really, really, really all I know and the only thing I can say beyond that is "It will happen when it happens."  I do know that there are supposedly no plans to indicate that Maggie is gay and their friendship will remain just that.  When the studio is ready, it will happen, but evidently, they want a few other things to play out first.  That's not something I can change and I definitely cannot report on news that I do not have.

GH

Same goes for the Skye people and the LiRic people and the Liason people and the Sax people and the CarLo people.  If I don't have the information, I can't pass it along.  When people write and ask me why there are no spoilers around for Skye or Ned or Liz and Ric, it's because we don't have any.  People often suggest that I have information that I'm "unwilling" to share or I'm holding back.  Baby, if I know it, you'll know it next!  I don't keep anything back except occasionally info about any actor's private life.  You aren't going to read me "outing" an actor (and believe me, there are way more gay people in the industry than you ever imagined) from the closet or talking about their torrid affairs or such stuff.  That's their own business and not mine, so beyond that, any info I have, you'll see in the column, just like the big yellow stripe up by Brad and George toward the top of the page says.  We print all the info we get and do our best to be thorough and accurate.  Sometimes things change after we get spoiler or rumors.  Sometimes a source is inaccurate.  Basically, in this business, sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you.

For that reason, it's seldom that I discuss and particularly rare that I go out on a limb for something involving an actor's private life.  After hearing of Katrina's lengthy interview first with Scott Egan earlier this year and secondly with Scott's publicist, Rita J. Runyon of TRC Entertainment this week, I am even more convinced than ever that the allegations and vicious rumors being spread about Scott behaving inappropriately with fans are totally false.  I don't know what people THOUGHT they saw, but I do know that there is plenty of proof being offered that it never, ever happened.  Although I have not personally spoken to Rita about this, I do claim her as a long time personal friend and I know for a fact that if there was any grain of truth to this, she'd have my back and give my shirt a tug, telling me to back down and lay low about it.  She has done that for me before out of love and mutual respect, even when it's one of her own clients concerned and I know she'd do it again if it were the case.  A really good guy's reputation is being tarnished by people who are spreading some serious untruths.  And that's all I got to say about that.

The rumors are still flying that Stefan Impaled Off the Cliff was not the real Stefan, who is alive, well and incarcerated by Helena.  If that's the case, Stephen Nichols isn't aware of it (which could easily be the case).  Of course, I'd love it to be true.

The slate for sweeps has been cleared for a great big Halloween Massacre that is caused by Faith.  Yes, folks WILL die, but it's not yet known who it will be. 

Yet another event originally planned for November sweeps (beginning Thursday, October 30th) is being hurried in early.  The Littlest Corinthos will be born on October 24th (the first was the Journey wedding, which was to happen in November) amid great angst and drama and danger.  Sonny will be the one to catch, but Lorenzo will be in the mix as well.  Chalk up another valiant attempt by those Port Charles baby killin' staircases (Carly just CAN'T stay away from them) when she falls down the stairs again passes out and goes into labor. Courtney screws it up by getting into an accident on her way to go for help (crap, even Lassie could get that one right - "Go get help!  Get help girl" and Courntey runs out the front door headlong into a tree.  Pffft.  Alcazar shows up.  Sonny shows up.  Much macho posturing while Carly labors on.  Everyone except Sonny pretty much gets shot (that sounds like a massacre in and of itself!

Georgie and Dillon blow the whole chastity pack and do the deed (ew).  Too, too young!!

The great card search gets really hot and heavy, turning into GH's version of Mad, Mad, Mad World when AJ, Skye and Luke join the search. 

Coleman alert!!  Next week!  Be ready and write those letters!!

Overall, even though they have their own merry band of followers, from what I'm hearing, "Jam" is going over  more like Jelly:  wet and a bit slimy.  Not many people in the hundred of letters I get in a day (and I do really read them all even though time restrictions keep me from personally answering them all and I've YET to be provided with an intern to manage them!) are into them at all.  I'm going, oddly, with the majority by saying that I'm not digging the cheap Brenda imitation.  Maybe she'll flesh out a bit more later in character, but right now, I'm finding it pretty blah.  Meh.  To each his own.

I would have been able to fully and completely enjoy the recent day of "no fab four" (proving they CAN do it!) had I not wanted to beat Emily to death with her own hands most of the time she was on screen.  Any more, the only time I can tolerate her is when Nikolas is getting really uncontrollably hot and bothered.  Like, yowzer!  Sadly, I had to laugh when Colin, the soap opera "unwashed heathen novice" naively said upon seeing Chad Brannon for the first time, "Oh look!  It's Ash Ketchum from Pokemon."  >:<  I remember that once one of Katrina's kids said the same thing.  (OK, it was kind of funny)  When I think of the name "Ash," it's Brisco County, Jr with a chain saw on his arm.  (Oh, that Lord Bowler!!)

If anyone is still interesting in participating in the letter writing campaign to get your favorites more screen time, remember, here's how to do it!  <-------click on that already!

With that, Sage is outta here for another week.  It was great visiting with you and I hope to see more of you when the harvest is over and I'm not up to my eyeballs in every nonmeat food imaginable.

Take care all!!

OH!  My Top Ten!!

AMC

1 - David is being cool again

2 - Tad is being really cool

3 - Jacob Young isn't screaming... yet

4 - Derreck!!

5 - Greenlee's dress

6 - Ryan's chest and gratuitous push up shots, etc

7 - The real and present threat that Ryan or David one just might kick Aidan's ass

8 - Greenlee and Jackson

9 - Reggie getting all fidgety watching Jackson's interview

10 - The special episode that aired last week with the Fusion girls' dreams.  Hokey, but I liked it.

OLTL

1 - Addie's performance today.

2 - Starr's performance ANY day.

3 - Kelly starting to get the "had enoughs" with stupid Kevin

4 - Viki's emotional talk with Ben

5 - Trevor St John in both roles

6 - Nora and Flash today when Nora found out about Daniel's DWI

7 - Wow.  Timothy D. Stickney today as RJ tortured.

8 - Marcie, Marcie, Marcie

9 - Al coming back ANY way at all

10 - Jen's miracle recovery from miscarriage (must have gone to GH)

GH

1 - OK, I'm a sap.  Courtney's wedding dress

2 - That whoooole day with no fab four.

3 - Tracy's coming back!

4 - Powerful stuff between Luke and Stefan!

5 - Nikolas' hot kisses (forgiving Emily for being around for them)

6 - Luke and Skye... YEAH!!

7 - Jax in a towel

8 - Alcazar in anything

9 - NOTDead Lily is great. 

10 - The scene where Emily finds out from Liz that she slept with Zander

11 - The scene were Zander tells Emily he deserves better

12 - The upcoming scene where Zander dumps Emily
 

Now go HERE http://pub22.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=1804252892&cp= to share yours!!

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