November 3, 2003

Hello, my friends.  No kitties, no cartoons, no gimmicks this week.  Just me.  I mentioned in my last post that I had a big announcement and boy were you all quick to start building the funeral pyre for Frons (not that I blame you and were it true, I'd chip in to buy the gasoline). 

I didn't want to say anything until plans were firmed up a bit, but the announcement is more personal.  After this column, Sage is going to be riding off into the sunset (full story follows).  Don't worry, my darlings, you are going to be blessed with a writer of immense talent (pfft, better than me!) who is going to continue to give you the best gossip and news floating around the net.  Katrina, our esteemed webmistress (insert whip sound here) will be taking over this column after today and I can assure you, you'll love her style and her info.  She is the one who taught me the ways soap net gossip and so you'll be sitting at the feet of the master, you lucky cats.

Here's how it all happened.  Most of my long time readers will know that my mother's birthday is October 31st (and she sends out a big thanks for all of the birthday wishes she received) and also that she has always said that she knows when she's going to die.  Until now, she would never tell us.  All of the kids (there are 7 of us) were home for her birthday this year with the last ones (Ginger and her wife, Natalie) arriving Thursday afternoon.  Thursday night, at the dinner table, my mom announced that she knows she has 2 more years to live and that she plans to live it in the company of her children... all of her children sequentially.  She intends to move from kid house to kid house, spending 4 months with each of them before moving on to the next.  She'll then end up here, back at the family home, for her final months.  After she told us this, it all started to take on a life of its own.  My six sisters were extremely excited about the prospect of having Mom to themselves for a few months before she passes on and so plans started flying like mad. 

Ultimately, it was decided that my sister Kye (who is local) and her husband Vince and their two darling little girls will move in here to the family house.  I adore my nieces, but after living alone or with Mom for my whole life, I fear I will go mad if I have to get used to stepping on Barbie dolls and accidentally kicking talking Barneys and shit like that when I get up for my underwear-clad trips to the potty in the night, not to mention how accustomed to quiet I have become.  In short, Sage just isn't ready to do the family thing 24/7, so I've had to make other arrangements.

Unsure of what I'd do, I called my friend, Colin, who is Mom's full time nurse.  I figured he could help me think straight (which he is quite good at doing and I can barely managed under the best of circumstances, much less upon learning that my home is turning into Romper Room), not to mention that he will be out of a job in a week or so.  He took the news quite well, especially considering that the agency for which he works isn't taking on any new clients, meaning they have no work for him after Mom unless someone quits.  After a bit of deliberating and some serious drinking, it was decided that we would do some traveling together for a while.  He has some money put back and I have a small pension from my father and we can live on that.  He has a brother or cousin or someone who works for the airlines and can get us good rates to a lot of different places.

Admittedly, this is all happening way to fast and far to intensely for my tastes, but hey, I'm going to try and make the best of it.  Since I don't have a laptop (and neither does Colin) and I don't even really know if I'm going to be around electricity, much less a phone line, it seemed best to not commit into any future columns (especially since I'm not likely to get to watch the shows much).  Katrina was wonderfully understanding, as she always is and was feeling very optimistic about my future.  It's going to be strange not to have Mom to take care of and to be on my own after so long of having her to consider for my every move practically.  Her health has been frail for some time, but since she's had ongoing professional medical care in home and has found a medicine combination and oxygen therapy regimen that works well for her, she's been in pretty good shape and her doctor has cleared her to travel. 

So it's a go.  Mom is leaving out next weekend.  I have to get my stuff and house packed into storage, have to get my computer up to Katrina (since I won't be using it, she should have use of a really good computer while I'm gone and she's reading that here with you for the first time) and get everything organized to leave here in about a week and a half.  Kye and Vince have promised to lock my room, so at least I'll have that space kept sacred.  I was going to be cringing if my room was going to have Bob the Builder curtains and crayon murals on the wall.  OH yes, I will be busy.

Here are my requests, from the bottom of my heart before we move on to this week's column.  I'm going to ask you to do these things for me, in my memory, while I'm gone:

1)  Please, please, please continue to come to Eye on Soaps.  The gossip column that is going to replace this one will be wonderful, likely even better than mine.  Give it a chance for 2-3 weeks and I think you'll really enjoy it.

2)  Of particular importance, PLEASE continue to contribute monthly to Eye on Soaps.  You may do so by clicking on these two buttons.  Paypal allows you to contribute online.  Options will explain other ways to help.  This site means the world to me, mostly because it allowed me to spend these two years with you.  Without it, I would not have had this opportunity to meet so many wonderful friends and have this two year wild ride.  Our expenses come out on the 7th of each month (so it's not too late for this month) and without your help and without me around to help Katrina make up the difference each month, Eye on Soaps could go away and that will break my heart.  You honor me if you keep this website going.

3)  Please be good to one another.  I know it's hard when the shows are so frustrating and when people feel so passionate about their soaps, but please remember that the person you're ripping into is a human being with feelings and a spirit that can be damaged with words.  Our wonderful message board proves that you can have a wonderful time without having to be cruel to others to create a bond between the participants.  Don't make the common enemy you unite against be the other fans or fan bases of the shows.  Just enjoy what you enjoy and take the rest up with the studios.

4)  Lastly, for those wonderful, adored folks who have passed on their scoops and inside info to me, please give Katrina the same consideration for all of the reasons I have mentioned above.  I care very much about her and about this column and about this site and again, if you help her out with the scoops, you honor me.

The message board will stay up for the wonderful community that is there.  Sherry will be at the helm, keeping things running.  Lenore and Ves, you know how to take care of the Ranch.  I hate to say it, but Coleman and Stefan are coming with me (as is Jack Sparrow), so you ladies will have to make do with the rest of the clients.

You never do know when I'm going to be checking in with a quick note, so you kids play nice and help keep a home on the net for me to come back to, OK??

I love you all and will miss you more than you can imagine.  You'll be in my thoughts, no matter where I am (Colin wants to go to Europe first, but I'm voting the Caribbean - so is Jack Sparrow - wink).

AMC

I'm not even sure why I typed that since there's pretty much nothing going on here.  Gossip is bubbling about the usual recasts (Julia, Tim, Dimitri...) and about actors who are at risk (Eva LaRue, John Callahan, David Canary, Jennifer Bassey...) and nothing is really official or even close to it.  We'll let you know as situations develop.

Personally, I think when any story involves the truth about a cow bracelet, we're in trouble.

OLTL

At last we are going to see how Al is going to manifest in fleshy form on this earth.  As we said before, it's going to be in the form of Michael (Richard Brandon Johnson), a guy with whom Marcie is set up for a date (pre-Al-infestation) and hits a sour chord when he behaves in a particularly homophobic manner (Marcie has a gay brother, Eric).  He goes into allergic shock and is dies, so Luna tells Al he has to jump in fast.  We see Al; everyone else sees Michael.  The trick is that Al can't tell Marcie that it's him and has to win her over as Michael, which he proceeds to screw up at every turn, including almost telling her it's really him, for which he gets the smack down from an angel named Gabrielle (ironically enough). 

The music box killer (MBK) story gets underway with the suspects being DA Colson, Troy (who returns 12/8) and newcomer Dr Steven Haver (Matthew Ashford, coming in December, previous of Days, GH and even OLTL previous as Drew Ralston), not a medical doctor, but  a professor at Llanview U. 

The identity of the MBK is no greater mystery than his or her victims.  I hear "fringe characters, no one critical," but Renee, Asa and Gabrielle are all rumored to be on his list.

The rivalry between Dorian and Viki heats up again over the Gov Brooks and ends up in a plane crash in the snow with some comedic results, as well as some close calls.

You called it and so it is.  Natalie's anger toward John McBain is slated to turn to love.

Bruce Hall is out as Joey and a recast is being sought.  Tracy Melchoir is already out as Kelly with Heather Tom taking over the role. 

GH

Same old, same old here as well.  Still, last I was told, Anna Lee has not been contacted by ABC about contract changes, following ABC's announcement that her contract is not being renewed.  The nonconsensual shift in her contract status has been met with great disappointment by Ms Lee.  More info is available here.

Billy Warlock's (AJ) last day is December 8th.  No word yet on how AJ exits.  Vacations are upcoming for Maurice Benard (Sonny), Tamara Braun (Carly) and Steve Burton (Jason). 

J Robin Miller has been let go as Lydia with no recast planned. 

Andrea Pearson has been let go as Gia with no recast planned.

Sounds like a go for a Justus Ward recast.

Courtney gives Jason an ultimatum, overestimating her worth to him evidently since he chooses the mob over his marriage.

Sonny has to decide whether or not to let Lorenzo see Carly when it is revealed that she responds positively to his presence.

Once again, Tracy returns (Nov 13-14th) and is NOT pleased with her son's choice of women, but this time it's Dillon, not Ned.

When Dillon kisses Sage (no, not me), Georgie uses another guy to make him jealous.

The kiss of death seems to be when an actor is not scheduled for SSW and this year, that dubious lack of honor goes to none other than Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis).  Amid rumors that she will be taking over the role of Nora on OLTL (Current Nora, Hillary B. Smith, recently stated she has no plans to leave the show), there has been no solid word on the status of NLG.

GH has asked Lilly Melgar to stick around for a while longer as Marcella.

I wish there was some great dish to impart for my final column, but folks, it's bone dry.  I hope the sun is on your shoulders, the gentle wind is to your back and the way you walk is smooth and lined with fragrant flowers.  You'll be in my heart.

Happy Trails,