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Sage Bourland  is our rumor technician here at Eye On Soaps.  Sage will be combing the message boards, rumor pages, soap mags and set leaks for all of the choicest tidbits to pass along to you.  Got a good rumor?  Send it to Sage!  Please remember, rumors are just rumors and reflect what is being said around and about.  They are NOT to be taken as spoilers or fact!  It's all just girl gossip!  Sage welcomes your letters and comments, but please, check any nastiness at the door.  Sage is a peaceful warrior.

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January 10, 2002
4:10pm

Now that the important stuff has been posted, let me tell you, honey, the times they are a changing!  Michele Val Jean, previous Associate Head Writer and (for a a brief moment) Head Writer of GH has returned with pencils sharpened and axe a'grinding.  Tony Geary couldn't be happier, I can tell you that and a LOT of cast members are breathing a sigh of relief.  More than one bottle of champagne has been popped for the occasion.  Make sure you have a supply of Milk Duds, Coke on ice and the BIG bucket of popcorn with butter, baby, because this is going to be a show you are going to want to watch!  I'll post more info as I have it!

Love,

January 8, 2002
8:15am

Holy Underwear, Batman, I've been DOUBTED!!!!  *Sob* THE AGONY!  THE PAIN!

OK, so I gave into temptation when I heard the little minxes over at SoapZone were talking about me.  Look at one of 'em wrote:

Not to be overly pessimistic, but Sage also said S&C would heat up on NYE and that would kick off Sonny chasing Carly, leading up to the remarriage.  The first part was just completely wrong, the second hasn't materialized and may never, so I'm not at all optimistic about the third. At Eye on Soaps (where Sage's column appears) Katrina writes a column in which she has said quite a few times that S&C will remarry in February. I think Sage trusts Katrina's source and got the tidbit from her. But it's very likely Katrina is wrong. 

Lauren
doesn't think a remarriage is remotely possible in February, although she'd happily eat crow and post ''I LOVE SAGE!!!'' if one takes place.

Just because one thing didn't work out doesn't mean the rest won't.  The remarriage info I got straight from the set, baby.  I'll be waiting for that "I Love Sage" banner and I can tell you that crow is much more palatable with some salt and a nice Chianti.  

What I don't understand is how doubtful people are that this is going to happen!  All along, McTarnish has said that Sonny and Carly will be individualizing during their time apart and will come back with a bang (just like they started, I guess, snick).  We know that some guy named Rosco, played by Brian Fitzpatrick, is going to show up as a rival for Sonny and threaten Carly soon.  With Carly in trouble, do you REALLY think that Sonny's isn't going to jump high?  Throw into the mix Sonny and Alexis seeing Zander and Carly out today and tell me he isn't going to have his fur brushed backward.  The very couple you are worried about are the same ones who had nutty, mad, monkey sex when they hated one another and fell in love within (although they wouldn't admit it until much later) a matter of a week or two.  We're talking zero to ninety in sixty seconds with Sonny and Carly.  They have never been known to let grass grow under their feet and the passion roars up in a second, as does the anger.  I fully believe that they could reunite in a big way within 6 weeks time.  Is it really so hard to fathom, given their history and the fact that now there is a true love and passion right beneath the surface?  You got a real hint yesterday when Carly said something like, "Forget about Sonny" and Zander replied to the effect of, "Not so easy to do."  All of the Alexi (assuming that to be the plural) and Zanders in the world are red herrings set up to get the fans all worked up into a frenzy believing that a Sonny and Carly reunion won't happen.  McNast has promised a season of romance for the Feb-March sweeps.  With a L&L wedding and S&C in Martinique, you know they think they'll have it nailed down.  Like I keep saying, just be patient, watch the signs and believe.  

January 9, 2002
6:45am

HEY, I forgot to mention yesterday that I can definitely validate what my Gossip Goddess, Aida, has reported.  I have heard from two sources in addition to Aida that Stuart Damon and Leslie Charleson aren't going ANYwhere.  It was an unfounded rumor that was picked up on in a hurry.  That's why you didn't read it here, darlings!  Furthermore, you can put that silly rumor about Maurice Benard's "prime time series" in the same boat and let it sail.  Still bored?  Then axe to bits the idea that Robin Christopher has a series with a "full season commitment."  Just so you'll know, there is no such beast on a new show.

Also, I want to mention that I've been getting a LOT of e-mails returned to me from the mailing list with messages like "permanent fatal errors," "user unknown," or "account inactive."  Of course, many of these are the @home accounts (cold, hard stare at AT&T), so if you haven't been getting your updates, please resubmit!

January 8, 2002
10am

Click me, I grow!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  MAKE IT GO AWAY!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  NO MORE FOUNTAIN HEAD!!

Me too!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  YOU'RE KILLING ME!!

Keep Clicking!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  SHOOT ME RIGHT IN MY HEAD!!

You know what to do

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  VO5 Hot Oil or a close shave, STAT!

One more time, darling

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  Peroxide Overload!! (butt nice background!)

You have just experienced a hairdresser's nightmare.

I'm bored with all of the shows right now, but wanted you to be entertained, none the less.  GH is shoddy, AMC is all over the place, OLTL is totally disjointed...After this long draught, there should be good gossip coming up soon.  A lot of you have written over and over with two specific GH questions:

YES, Sonny and Carly are remarrying in Feb for the sweeps.  Like I keep saying, BE STILL AND WATCH, DAMMIT!  Take a Maalox and settle the hell down. 

No news is good news in JFP land and the fact that you have heard almost nothing about the status of her contract is a good thing from what I hear, so don't worry about that yet either!  Just crack a beer and kick back, Darlings!  Life is good!

Love,
Thanks to ABC Soap Screen Caps for the snappies!  Great site!

January 1, 2002
9pm

My DARLINGS, I told you I'd be back after the first of the year!!

The banner says it all, precious.  I’ve spent the last week and a half with a house full of wimmin and I can’t help but have an edge, you know.  Don’t even bother to read this if you are not interested in unabashed bashing and the merowing and clawing of cats. 

AMC 

So WHAT was going on with Anna’s NASTY looking bi-polar dress.  Face left, right, left, right, it’s Winter, it’s Summer, it’s Winter, it’s Summer.  Either side of the dress would have been a classic beauty, but jammed together, it looked like she caught her sleeve in the door going out and decided to just make the best of it. 

I noticed in a couple of the scenes this week that FH was looking a little ragged around the edges.  Makes me wonder if the baby is having trouble sleeping.   

OK, so it was Vanessa’s chauffer she was romping with in David’s cabin.  With the first flash of him kissing her shoulder, my head flashed “Gordon the Lab Tech” and then my brain promptly seized up. 

We have this exclusive screen cap of Liza in her Crystal Ball dress: 

 
Click!

Absolutely the most glowingly beautiful face at the ball was Greenlee, who totally sparkled. 

Hayley, however, looked pretty doggoned good.  Loved the effect when she sprung Ryan on Mateo.  Heh heh heh.  Honey, if yo man gonna be slinking up to some ho and putting his mouth on her (even it’s ‘not real,’ his mouth is ‘really’ on her), you might as well be hanging around the best looking guy in Pine Valley. 

Which brings us to Jake-a-boo, who managed not only to get Mia to clean up and dress like a princess instead of a stripper (as in she seldom wore clothes when she was hanging around Ryan) or a street kid, but also to score a cuddle hug from Greenlee as well.  You go, boy-yee. 

Whooo hooo!  Opal finally got herself some kissage! 

Rumors were Roger Smythe’s last appearance would be at the Crystal Ball.  Is he dead?  I think I blinked at the wrong time or something. 

Vanessa is Proteus.  Yawn.  Could they at least have made it interesting if not plausible?  Does this possibly mean we might see more of Palmer? 

Where has been my favorite little Picasso beauty in real life, Laura?  Has she already been shipped off to the funny farm?  What a joy it would have been to see Leslie dress her for the ball in Carrie’s prom dress. 

If I have to see David giving longing looks and running, “I wish I was in Dixie” through his head one more time, I’m going to regurgitate. 

OLTL 

I can’t say anything here Katrina hasn’t already said in her column, LoveBugs, at least in regard to Jen:  #1) YOU WERE ON A BREAK.  He’s never going to speak to me?  It’s not like you cheated on me?  WTF?  He’d just ripped out your heart and put parsley beside it before he fed it to you, sweetheart.  If Jen banged every player of the Llanview High School football team at the quarry, Cris couldn’t say a word about it.  Let’s get some perspective here, chicklet. 

#2)  If one line looks like the test line and the other line looks like a ball point pen mark, you might want to get a second opinion. 

OK, maybe I can say one thing.  If ever a girlfriend need a good old, Kelly Cramer, Urge to Herbal, it’s Jen of the living dead. 

Troy is really teaching Lindsay a lesson!  If some good Troy lovins is how he punishes people, I’d just LUV to be on his good side. 

Blair + Todd + Baby + Starr + David Vickers + Paloma = Sage is riveted. 

Lovin the whole Jatalie business.  Gooood human drama all ‘round. 

GH 

Can we play a few rounds of “Tryin to Get the Feelin” by Barry Manilow for little Lucky?  Can we play it in some room far, far, far away from Port Charles where he’s tied to a chair? 

While we’re spinning songs, how about “You Can’t Hurry Love” for Luke and Laura?  These two pros are definitely making the most of what they’re being given, but what they’re being given is making nothing more than a well-made sow’s ear purse.   

Carly McBeal?  Mariah Carly?   

The gossip is locked up tighter than a drum, but an idea or two of a new executive producer is definitely surfacing. 

If I have to think about Laura in her Delta Burke wig, I’ll not be able to sleep tonight, so I’ll withhold comment. 

I’ll add one more to Katrina’s list of reasons to watch GH:  “Ned…”  “Sssonny,” 

Liz is absolutely a gorgeous bride!  The only way she would have been more beautiful is if we could have see the light in her eyes that she used to see when she would ride with Jason.  I hadn’t really thought about it until I read Katrina’s spoiler commentary (no, I’m totally not up her butt, I just happened to agree with a couple of things she said this week)  I never thought I’d miss someone as much as I miss Steve Burton and the way he lit up Liz’s face when she’d talk to him.  Ah for the opportunities missed!  I’d love to see Jason interacting with Sonny again, advising Carly, threatening AJ and evaluating Sonny’s new apprentice, Zander.  I did not feel particularly passionate toward Jason’s presence in PC until he was gone.  Now I think he could really add some value to nearly all of the stories across the board. 

With that happy note, it’s time for this little rumorqueen to turn in for the night!  Hope you have a rockin new year, my little darlings.

I totally love this banner, so Katrina 
let me use it here too.  : P

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I would be remiss to not pay homage to the brilliant woman who made ME, 
a little boy from the burbs, want to be A RUMOR QUEEN!!  
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