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Time for a "check up" on
ABC's Daytime Drama and AMC AND OLTL
(Okay, so it’s not nu-Paul, but old Paul was cuter anyways! Thanks to the talented gals at SOAPeSCAPE for the banner!!) Starting two weeks before the “mind blowing” March 23rd episode, ABC Daytime viewers were constantly bombarded every 5 minutes with promos for this event. Words and phrases like “life-altering”, “can’t miss”, and “shocking” were bandied about seven ways to Sunday, while every daytime fan could recite, from memory, the sentence: “Watch as AMC and OLTL become one show!” TPTB hyped this eppy like the “be all, end all” of daytime tv storylines. Even GH’s big CE (Cataclysmic Event; i.e. the REALLY BIG fire that tore through the PC Hotel, “changing lives forever” (*snicker*), while Jax and Sam, being the dedicated troupers they are, scrogged bravely on…) that aired during sweeps last month, didn’t have a half as much hoopla and ads surrounding it! The promise of great drama drew me like a moth to a flame--it’s what suckered me into watching the whole thing in the first place. ABC Daytime has sadly been lacking in high drama lately. Sure, we’ve had fires, serial killers, and psychotic-- *ahem*…I mean, psychic --connections, but nothing that really grabbed our full attention, pulled at our heartstrings, or made us shake with indignation. AMC and OLTL have created a storyline that could do that. From feeling heartbroken that Bianca got unfairly denied this one joy that she’s been holding on for, to abhorring Paul for being such a vile jerk, to feeling pity for Kelly being so desperate to keep her husband that she is going along with something she knows, deep down, is totally wrong, the emotions could definitely run the gamut in this storyline. So, then March 23rd came…and went…and left me going The March 23rd episode(s) were in NO way, shape, or form, ANY different from what I’d been watching for months now! Not that I was expecting TPTB to actually dish out what they were promoting, but I honestly thought there’d be more to the “Worlds collide!” part, than just Kelly and Paul crossing over to AMC. Where was the “shock” in that? For the past two months, I’ve seen Paul on AMC *more* than I have OLTL anyway, so that wasn’t exactly the “mind blowing” thing I had expected. And while Kelly’s three minute AMC appearance surely didn’t scream “earth shattering” to me, the idea that she found the secluded cabin at night, in the dark, in the deep woods, all by herself, WAS quite remarkable!! Add that about 50 other people were actively combing around the same areas, and yet not ONE of them seen her coming or going, and yep, that was pretty darn miraculous!
The one thing I did really enjoy about this particular episode were the scenes between Krystal and Erica! It was heartwarming to see such entirely mismatched women bonding over their missing children, and their own personal fears and regrets. The two characters really worked well off of one another, and I would LOVE to see them become really good friends. Erica needs another good friend, besides long-suffering Opal, to teach her that the she’s NOT the center of the universe, and that everything is NOT all about her. Even though most of the events of this particular day’s episode didn’t thrill me, the days following have shown much promise. The immediate fall-out over what happened has, and will, affect so many different characters in so many different ways, from Bianca to David, Babe to Adam, and Dorian to Asa and all the OLTL Buchanans. I’m really excited to watch all the dramatic ripples that could come from this storyline, providing the writers do it justice. Also, when the baby-switch is inevitably discovered someday, the ca-ca that hits the fan will fling far and wide from Llanview to Pine Valley. So, keep the faith---Great, high, nail-biting drama may *yet* find it’s way back onto ABC Daytime!
Dorian to Kelly: “Oh, you
had the baby!!!” It’s definitely “pressing the issue” to say that Kelly was about 5 months pregnant. But, the infant she brought home with her, was most definitely NOT that premature. How could Dorian, once a respected doctor, and now having become this suddenly reborn medical genius (does she even have her license again?!), miss that little fact? Geez, I guess the newest rule of thumb at ABC soaps is to start SORAS-ing the characters IN THE WOMB, lol…
Another thing on my mind, has anybody else noticed how Paul has never confirmed whether or not he messed around with Babe’s paternity test? He simply stated, “You wanted JR to be the father, and he is.” Real slick, guy! There could be some great emotional fall-out coming in the future because of Paul leaving that question unanswered. For example, could there be a possibility that Paul’s got an “Ace” up his sleeve? Perhaps one of the reasons why he was so agreeable to giving that particular baby to Kelly, is because HE is the baby’s true father, and he decided he wanted to have a closer role in his son’s life. What better way to accomplish that then by giving the baby to his own sister to raise? Just a theory, mind you, but one I wouldn’t mind seeing played out.
In today’s age of DNA testing, and super-security nurseries, are we to believe that the hospital simply just took Paul’s word on which baby was which? Nowadays, in hospitals, as soon as you deliver, the nurses whip an ankle band on the baby that matches the mother’s, so there is no room for a possible mistake on what baby is whose. Even regardless of that, I can’t imagine a hospital that wouldn’t do a full blood work-up on a baby that was born not only premature, but in a backwoods cabin amid unsanitary conditions, and was *supposedly* in a helicopter crash not long after it’s birth. The Rules of Soap Opera Reality are even wearing thin on this one!
And file this in the “Did I Miss Something?” section, but didn’t it appear to anyone else that both Babe and Bianca appeared to give birth THROUGH their jeans? It just never appeared to me that they actually took their jeans off to give birth. Hmm…apparently, placentas, afterbirth, and swollen uteruses just don’t exist in PV…
…and neither does “baby” weight--lucky Binks!
I cannot fully express just how relieving it was for Blair to finally remember the truth about what happened between her and Todd on New Year’s Eve! As Blair realized what her wrongful accusation had done to Todd, their children, and their own relationship, Kassie DePaiva let loose on a stellar performance that has yet to end! The scenes with Viki shortly after, were nothing less than phenomenal, as Blair was forced to admit that not only had she been wrong and that she’d made a fine mess of things, but also that she still had very deep feelings for Todd, even if she was still upset over Todd’s ruse as Walker. It was heartwarming and heart wrenching, all at the same time, and K.D. pulled it off without a hitch! I’m really looking forward to seeing what happens with Blair’s revelation, and what happens in the aftermath. GH At long last! The little man is starting to come into his own! No more days of being purely relegated to the role of naïve waif, he’s been standing tall and telling it like it is! In honor of his recent maturity spurt, come with me as he takes those first steps on his journey from red-headed step-child to truly his father’s son (and I ain’t talking Sonny, bay-bee!)…
Michael, thinking outside Sonny’s door: I can’t believe he lied to me again! If he thinks he’s going to spend this morning boinking that slut instead of with being with me, he’s got another thing coming… I think I can, I think I can … [Knocks on door, enters]
Michael: Why did you break your promise to me?
…*sigh* god damn kid… Sonny: Uhh…Where'd you get money for the cab? Michael: Aunt Courtney. I left an I.O.U.
…god damn Courtney… Sonny: Oh, well, um…Where's your -- where's your mother? Michael: She went to see Mr. Alcazar.
…god damn whore…crap, I gotta get rid of this kid before he ask questions about the barely dressed whore on my couch…hmm…how can I turn this around?… Sonny: Uh, well…Ok. Um, you were SO freakin’ wrong to do this, Michael! How many times are you going to run off like this, Michael? You know what, Michael? It JUST can't keep happening. …*phew*...back in control…
…PFFT! He ain’t pinning this one on me!…I’m not the one with a whore on my couch!…I think I can, I think I can… Michael: Why is she wearing your bathrobe? Go Mikey, Go Mikey, GO GO!!
…aw, god damn it! Shit! Shit! Um… Sonny: uh, er…Because she, um, -- she's not feeling well. …yeah, that’s it…
…god damn! This kid’s smart as a whip! Maybe I should at least try and help Sonny….after all, he’s so sweet, and he DID offer to set me up in my own place, and pay me tons of money to be his personal whore…OOOOOH! If I stick up for him, maybe he‘ll buy me my *own* whore blouse at last! SCORE!!!… Sam: uh, YEAH!! Michael, I got -- I got hurted-ed last night, and -- and like, your daddy's just *helping* me, that's all…completely innocent…got brutally stabbed in the back…can barely move…so we can’t like…screw or anything…’cause you know, that’d be like…wrong…and stuff…
…I gotta remember to get that stupid whore a whore blouse sometime…
…Ah, shaddup, ya skank!…NO taste in women, this guy!…I think I can, I think I can… Michael: If she got hurt, why isn't she at the hospital?
…crap…good point… Sonny: Um, well…because…it's -- better -- for me to take care of her here, Michael. …*phew*! Good save! I am such a god… Michael: Why?
…god damn it…think, think, think… Sonny: *ahem* This is business, Michael. I'm not going to tell you any more. …YES! Zapped him with the sacred “this is business” shmeil, no zaps back!…
…we‘ll see about that… I think I can, I think I can, I think I can … Michael: Is it her birthday? Sonny: No. Michael: Then why'd you get her the present? DOH!! Mikey: 6, Sonny: ZIP-OLA!! ROCK ON, Little Man!
…Jesus H. Christ! If I would have known what a pain in the ass kids are, I would have never hung AJ off that damn meat hook… Sonny: Uh, er…Because she's -- she's my, um, guest.
…I think I can…I think I can…I think I can… Michael: So, how is that business?
…god damn, he’s smart as a damn whip today!…What the hell kind of brain-enhancing, Super Wheaties is Leticia feeding this kid?!…crap… Sonny: I thought it would be, uh, nice, because she's my -- friend --, to buy her something. Michael: So she'd feel better? Sonny, wiping sweat from brow: Yeah. That's right. …*phew! Finally…
…OMG! The kid is totally screwing with Sonny! Shit, I better get my skanky ass upstairs before I start laughing out loud and lose that whore blouse forever… Sam: Ahem -- I'm feeling a little, uh…tired. I'm going to go upstairs. Sonny: Yeah, yeah.
…I - think - I - can … I - think - I - can… Michael: Is she living here now?
…*sigh* Why won’t this damn kid just shut the hell up?… Sonny: No, Michael, she's going to stay here until she feels better.
…I - think - I - can… Michael: Is she sleeping in my room?
*SILENCE* …this is NOT happening to me!! Where the hell is AJ when you need him?…
Sonny: Come on. I'm taking you home. Let's go.
…I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could!! WHOO-HOO!!!… I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Op-ster put Sonny in the hot seat! In fact, I would have LOVED for him to press on about Sonny’s “business”, but guess it wasn’t quite time for that little talk. Anyhoo, kudos to Mikey for standing up to Sonny and making him squirm! And for proving beyond a doubt, that AJ lives on! Go little man…make your own way into that crazy world…*sniff, sniff*…
WHY, God, WHY??? Why bring this gorgeous man back to my screen for a couple weeks, just have me again slinging vulgar names towards the TIIC of GH for not doing everything and anything in their power to keep Chad Brannon from leaving? Why make me relive the heartache of separating from this hunk’a’burnin’ love again?! Knowing that TIIC of GH have no fear of taking the show to the lowest masochistic levels, I’m sure that the sole purpose of having Zander show up in PC very alive, was purely all about the ratings. Watching Zander go coo-coo for Princess Em-Puff, and then meeting his own bloody end was solely a ploy of TPTB at ABC, to entice women everywhere to tune in the entire two weeks to swoon over CB’s sizzling hottieness. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel so…used. All this talk about Chad Brannon has got me feeling the heat! Physician, heal thyself! Until next time,
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