Let’s go a-caroling, shall we, my dear readers?

Soapy style… 

What Child is this who, since Paul played God,
In Babe's arms is crying?

Born from Babe, but raised as a Buch-

Two parents, but which will keep him?

This, this storyline dragged on too long

While Kelly sang her undying sob song

"Ace, Ace is my own son…

Oh. Whoops, sorry. Didn't know he was stolen.”

So Babe stole him back, and gave to Binks

The daughter she'd knowingly kept from her.

We all breathed a sigh of relief,

Thinking that this story was finally over.

Not, not! We found ourselves jacked!

Bianca fell from high---JR's own human flap-jack

Now, now she's in a coma,

And there's STILL no end to this story.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

There's no end to this story.  

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

In Llanview, P-A

Mrs.. Davidson misses Ben, but still then, again,

She keeps a part of him beating every day!

 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;

Couplings everywhere.

Will Bo and Nora hook up again? Michael and Marcie? Riley and Jen??

Jovan or Jolie?

A pair of confessions that are signed, right on the dotted line

Is the wish of Bo and John.

Snakes that are scary and spiders so hairy,

Is the hope of Starr--but not her mom.

And I'm not-so-patiently waiting for RJ and Lindsay to get it on!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

But it would suck to be Todd,

Getting shot in the Palace Hotel, in both legs--that had to hurt like hell.

By a psycho who makes Allison Perkins look merely "odd"...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

And I still can't believe,

That Carlotta's son returned from the dead, and she still doesn't know,

After all these weeks!

Yes, no one's been bothered to let her know, that her son isn't buried down below,

But alive---FOR WEEKS. 

'Twas a minute before GH started and I'd finally gotten done

Doing those everyday household chores that are just simply, no fun.

My laundry was done, folded on the loveseat with care,

And my dishes were washed, now drying by air.

The floors had been swept, mopped, or vacuumed.

Visions of Cartoon Network on my kids' TV set---to them it did loom.

So, I in my sweaty t-shirt, deserving a break,

Settled down on my sofa to watch Guza's latest take...

Out from my TV came such a whiney, simpering clatter

Emily's crying --- again--- NOW what's the matter?!

I sighed and patiently waited to see what came next

Wishing the whole time that Nik and Em hadn't broken Hell's hex.

Then came Carly, Durant, Sam, Liz and Lucky, too...

Dr.. Steve (who's hot in a nerd-like way) and watching Sonny, to Kristina, coo.

The lights of GH bounced off Bobbie's massive rack,

And for a sec, I saw Doc Tony --- Gosh, I wish he were back...

...On contract, along with many of those vets GH is lacking

Ever since TIIC sent those who were underused and unappreciated packing.

Next came more scenes, and as usual, Guza's A-list abounded,

But, even still, there are characters and things that keep me astounded...

Now Tracy! Now Lucky!

Now, Lorenzo and Lois!

There's my Luke! There's Skye!

Look-- It's Ric and Alexis!

Opening credits start rolling,

Then commercials galore--

First Kotex! Then Payless!

Then Wal-mart, and more!

Off to Manhattan for dinner did the coupling of Casper fly,

Followed by romps of nasty, monkey sex in Jax's new building up high.

Poor Lady Jane was never given a clue to ---YUCK!!!!! ---

That where she was now eating dinner, her son had just ... dusted?

And then, in a twinkling, the scene did change thus

As "The Littlest Mobster" -- Mikey -- began to annoyingly fuss.

PFFT!!!  My eyes rolled towards the back of my head,

As the 7-year-old threatened to make his mom's boyfriend dead.

Jason was naked, except for his boots and leather ---

Well, not really, but wouldn't we all sometimes rather??

Such succulent man-flesh is one of the perks,

Of watching this show, even when it totally irks

Sonny's eyes---how they twinkle! His dimples, how merry!

Nik's cheeks are like roses, Dill's nose like a cherry!

Ric's soft, sensual lips make my heart positively hitch-y,

While the stubble on Coleman's chin makes my body hot and itchy.

Lorenzo's wicked ways inspire naughty, erotic desires

And that's just a few of the GH men who never fail to ignite our fires.

The stories we watch sometimes aren't exactly up to par,

But the men of GH are above and beyond --- by far!

As Christmas draws near, merriment and love is in the air...

Along with (rumors say) a couple sets of legs --- footed bare

Dilly's found his dilly! With Georgie---they FINALLY come together,

While Ric and Alexis find themselves hot and sweaty, in spite of the frigid weather.

Time flies watching all this drama, passion, lies, and fares of war,

Heated words, secret smiles, adventure, and sometimes more.

Before we know it, our show is over -- our visit to Port Chuck at an end.

But tomorrow we'll be back again, like an old and faithful friend.

And at the end of our day, snuggling up in bed, and blissfully sinking into sleep,

We can't help but let our minds wander about what we’re going to find ourselves watching next week. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all,