March 20, 2002


Since things are very likely going to start making all kinds of sense in the very near future on this show, I thought Iíd get in one last quick ďspeculationĒ column.  I donít have a lot of witty commentary to impart today so if you donít really care to hear my speculations then you wonít be missing anything by skipping right over this one!  For the rest of you:  Letís toss some ideas around, shall we?


Iím still convinced, now more than ever actually, that Eve is heading for the Fifth Chair.  Ian is still runner up, but he seems too obvious since Amy is now aiming herself straight at him.  If it does end up that Eve dies then I hope that will help cure Ian of his attraction to anything in a skirt.  Maybe he could at least keep these attractions to himself instead of talking about them (or worse!) with the other woman.  His ďneeding to help a damsel in distressĒ complex is a bit too much for me.  Any man that just finished cheating on his wife and within weeks admits to having feelings for a completely different woman obviously wasnít made to suffer enough for the first ďslip-upĒ.  If he had just been loyal to his gorgeous wife and adorable son for longer than thirty seconds, much of this could have been prevented or at the very least their last few months together could have been happy.   I can already hear you all yelling about Eveís responsibility in Ianís ďconfused timeĒ, to which I say:  Donít speak ill of those who have passed on. (Soon enough, anyway) Didnít your mother ever tell you that? 


So how will Amy do it exactly?  Well, she obviously has a drug in mind so Iím guessing the inevitable mix up will occur and Eve will drink something meant for Ian.  Something like that anyway, but Iím hoping something more creative will occur and it just might because Port Charles excels in creativity these days.  So Iím eager to see what they have planned!


My next speculation is about Paige and Alison, and Iím really excited about this one.  I think that Alison is the one Paige is related to and that the reason she is here is to help Alison and Rafe be together on earth.  I donít have it all figured out yet (and if Iím wrong Iím going to be really disappointed!) but right now the most likely scenario is that Paige had a baby that she thought died but somehow Alisonís grandmother ended up with it.  The best way to explain that happening is for Alisonís father to have had an affair with Paige in London while he was there on business (Remember Alison mentioning just the other day that her father gets called to London on business often?) that resulted in a pregnancy.  Then, because Paige is acting like she knows she canít have any living relatives, she must have been told the baby died.  Maybe her own family did that to her but Mrs. Barrington forced them to give her the child.  Or she (Mrs. B) just was smart enough to go and pay off whoever had the baby after it was taken from Paige.  This would also explain Alisonís parentís indifference to her.  Her father feels guilty and her mother isnít really her mother, and Alisonís presence causes them both trouble!


Scenario two is that Kevin and Paige got pregnant (Iím not sure if time-wise that works out right though) but Kevin never knew it and Paige fell victim to a baby-snatching mid-wife who told her the baby died.  The only reason I even consider this is to somehow tie Kevin in because they made it seem like her purpose here had to do with Kevin, but I really doubt heís the father.  I canít come up with a plausible reason that the baby would have ended up with the Barringtons.  Since Alisonís parents have little interest in her I doubt they are the type to have adopted (legally or illegally) a child.  And, of course, there are countless other scenarioís that could include them being related in some more distant way but that seems somewhat unlikely too since Alison has plenty of relatives and Paige thinks she has none. 


Whatever their link, I think that somehow Paige is going to help Rafe be able to stay on earth because that is what Alison wants more than anything.  How?  Donít have a clue yet, Iím not up on the rules of who gets to stay or go, or why they do!  I had this idea in my head last week because I had been thinking that there had to be a reason they made it so obvious that Paige was basically obsessed with Christina.  That scare came too early on; however, to be the real reason sheís here.  So if itís not about Christina then I think it makes sense that sheís obsessed because she had a baby herself and never got to see her grow up.  If Kevin, Lucy, and Paige go to London to hang her portrait then Iím sure Lucy and Kevin will see a portrait of one of Paigeís relatives that looks just like Alison.  Or they will uncover some proof that Paigeís baby didnít die (once she admits to having oneÖ).  Yes, Iím aware that this could all be a bunch of crap, but Iím enjoying myself here!  J


Enough of my wild speculations, you say?  Fine.  Since youíre here we may as well go over a few problems I ran into with the last few days episodes:


I think Lucy might want to try another tactic to locate Paigeís family.  I would think that a   search for ďSmithĒ on genealogy websites would take longer than the time Paige has left.


Itís a good thing that Paige glows like that on occasion, because Kevin and Lucy should now be aware of the need to invest in an air cleaner to get rid of some of that dust floating around her head every time she illuminates. 


Ricky, at least get a bandage to wear in public, itís the only polite thing to do while the blood is still oozing.


So how many of you could be carrying your purse around with a big yellow envelope sticking several inches out of the top of it (that you did not put there, mind you!) and not notice?  And then when the envelope falls out, you still donít notice it.  You donít wonder for a second how something that looks somewhat important got in your purse?  And then when someone says ďI put a picture in your purseĒ you still donít have a flashback to seeing an envelope sticking out of your purse??  But that was only the beginning, becauseÖ


Is there Braille on fuse boxes?  Iím not saying there shouldnít be, but I just somehow donít see that being the case.  Iím guessing all the fuse boxes are in the basement for all the apartments so how in the heck did Amy figure out which one it was?  If I missed Amy getting a lesson at some earlier point about how to fix the fuses then, please, forgive me. 


It amazes me that people like Ian and Eve (after their lights were just mysteriously off and she just said that she thought she wasnít alone) would leave the room at the same time, him to ďcheck the back doorĒ, and leave their baby alone.  UmÖif youíre worried enough to go check the back door to be sure no one came in it then take the kid with you!   If my lights go out and I think Iím not alone then you better believe my kids will be stuck to me like glue until Iíve searched my house top to bottom.  And I havenít even experienced vampires trying to steal my baby, go figure.


I would have bought Amy locating Eveís purse with such ease if they had just opted to have Ian carry in the purse (or have him move it off the top of the stroller where it was when they came in) and tell Eve he was putting it on the table.  Even with advanced hearing, Eve and Ian were talking and Amy was in a different room, which brings me toÖ


They showed several wide shots, after the lights were on, of Amy in the foreground, hiding against a wall, and Ian and Eve in the background with Ian facing toward Amy.  It looked to me like he had a clear view of her since we were behind her and we could see Ian just fine.  Besides, itís a pretty risky thing for a blind person (angel Ėwhatever) to try to hide from two people in a little apartment.  How can she know that part of her isnít sticking out in clear view when sheís ducked behind something?  And she also has to do something about that habit of speaking out loud to herself Ė that is detrimental to a blind, out-to-do-evil angel.


Rafe and Alisonís ďweddingĒ was sweet, canít beat a romantic guy can you?  Alison and Jamalís scene was really well done as was the ďtalkĒ between Jack and Jamal.  KE did a particularly good job with all of that. 


Well, we should all have the answers soon.  Thanks for listening to my speculations!  Iíd be happy to listen to yours! 





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