Sherry Takes on OLTL!

April 2, 2003 

Vicky was given until High Noon…or wait, no; it was “Sundown Tomorrow” to get out of Llanfair.  What kind of judge issues an order using terms like that?  If Asa were the judge then maybe I could see it…   

Not that it really mattered because there’s no way someone can pack up an entire mansion in twenty-four hours, particularly if your kids won’t stick around long enough to help because they’re either chasing street waifs or having dinner with their ex’s family.  Even when they were all there they spent an inordinate amount of time standing around pulling stuff back out of boxes (and why were those boxes, that were obviously holding things packed from elsewhere – like the attic maybe since it was “Oh, remember this?” kinda stuff – now sitting in the middle of another room?) and reminiscing.  Someone needs to explain to them that the idea is to pack it, stack it and move it OUT.   

Sam is the greatest dead guy…maybe EVER!  Popping up with his bullet wounds still oozing, creeping Lindsay out.  He’s much more exciting dead than he ever was alive, that’s for certain! 

While I was never a big Will fan, I do appreciate that he came back for the funeral.  Soaps too often skip over that part, so I applaud them for their efforts in this case.   

So what exactly does Al have to do to go from jittery, hopped up guy to the mellow, slow talking Voice of the Night?  I’m just a bit confused.  Does he take downers?  Uppers?  Does he go off one or the other awhile before work?  What?  Hmm, maybe you need to be on something to understand exactly how it works…good for OLTL for reaching out to the little-tapped “High and Fried” demographic. 

Why did Al walk into the radio station and ask to pre-tape some stuff, but then the next thing we hear is “the voice” blaring out of Vicky’s radio?  Pre-taping live, or what? 

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay!  Bo asks who she was having drinks with and she says, “That’s confidential”…I’m sorry, but I LOVE Lindsay when she doesn’t have the time (or the brainpower in this case) to formulate an actual plan.  “Do you see Sam too?”  And the real kicker:  “I went to the whore’s house and I shot him” THAT is a confession for you!  I thought Catherine Hickland was excellent through the shooting and all the aftermath, I think she’s even got Mitch a bit freaked out, that’s a tough audience!   

Has anyone else noticed that when Jen Rappaport walks into a room she has a habit of looking around it like she’s never seen it before in her life?  It was most noticeable at the studio when she went back to find Lindsay (who wasn’t there) but she does it a lot…one of the many things that she does that drives me nuts. 

I love the idea of Roxy having a hair salon!  Anything that gives Roxy more airtime is great by me, but this should be great fun!  Katrina and I were talking and we’re hoping maybe Natalie will be her first customer so Roxy can rinse that red right into her hair.  I think moving Roxy into Asa’s sphere was inspired, and I’m fully enjoying the Nigel interaction as well.  All soaps should be so lucky to have the talent and comedic interlude provided by everything that surrounds Ilene Kristen’s Roxy Balsom. 

So, I missed a bit here and there, but has Flash tried to just get a job?  I would think she could at least waitress or something.  She seems to be pretty good at pick-pocketing and since prostitution will land you in jail just as fast as lifting a wallet will, why not just stick with what you know and what is slightly less personally invasive?  I dunno, maybe I’m out of touch, but I just wasn’t feeling why she thought she needed to start hooking.  I don’t mind the actress, but they’re starting to push the threshold of my tolerance with the “bad girl on the surface masks a vulnerable needy girl underneath”.  That only goes so far, so let’s hope it’s almost over. 

I love Marcie!  I even think I can maybe get into Marcie and Al, if they clean Al up first.  Al was actually pretty sweet for a little while there when Jen was pregnant, and I imagine Marcie could bring out some good things in him.  And please, soap gods; make Jen very sorry she hasn’t valued the friendship Marcie has given her.  I would be exceedingly grateful if I get to see Jen pay!   

Antonio is annoying when he’s whiney.  I know I’m supposed to feel bad for him, but I’m just not able to work up even a tear for his problems.  I’m not totally opposed to an Antonio – NuJessica pairing, but she has to kick some sense (literally would be fine) into him first.  Sometimes you just have to call a crybaby a crybaby and be done with it.  Sometimes you also have to just be honest and say that both the Vega brothers are at their best when their shirts are off.  Otherwise lately, I tend to notice that their portrayers are indeed, acting. (That is not a compliment.)  

Cristian and Natalie.  Um…I’m not sure if this is just a sign of my fickleness or what, but I was really rooting for them to get together when Jen was mixed up in it but now that they have found happiness…well, I’m no longer feeling it.  Cristian, I’ve come to realize, is just a really boring person.  Sorry, but he really is.  He really doesn’t have much of a personality and Natalie needs someone a bit more…animate.  I think Cristian is great to look at, don’t get me wrong, but he’s basically not all that smart and way too one-note for Nat at the moment.  Any guy that hasn’t learned how to work around (as in, for example, knowing when to move in and when not to) his own mother by his age is destined for trouble.   

Speaking of Carlotta, what the heck is wrong with her?  Not liking your son’s girlfriend is one thing, but being ignorant, rude, condescending and belligerent is quite another.  I found myself a bit annoyed with the angelic Jessica as well; does she not hear the venom coming from that woman’s mouth?  Carlotta deserves Jen as a daughter-in-law; I may have to start rooting for a Jen/Cris reunion!  She redeemed herself slightly at the end of Natalie’s dinner, but overall the woman is feral.   

Hey Natalie!  Next time you have someone over for dinner, don’t make his or her recipe!  That’s just asking for trouble, for Pete’s sake.  Who does that? 

I’ve never been able to stand Jen but I will give a bit of credit here and say that I was feeling her pain when Lindsay fessed up.  In fact, I was feeling really bad for her and it even overtook my intense dislike of the character right up until she started climbing all over Joey.  I happen to like Joey okay so far and I’m NOT interested in Jen getting her hooks in him.   

Nooooo!  Gabrielle!  Don’t do it.  Damn…she did it.  She burned the paper.  Hmm, well, I think she’ll change her mind and stop fixating on Nora once she sees the new haircut.  Once a woman knows that she has the ability to carry off her competition’s haircut much better than the competition herself can, she is infused with a newfound confidence that will enable her to get beyond her fears.  Thank goodness Roxy isn’t left holding the scissors on this one…I might have had to be irritated with her for creating that fiasco.  Hair extensions Nora, quick!! 

Blair is on quite a roll, and good for her!  Never mind that she used what appeared to be toilet paper to tie Mitch’s head to that chair…just concentrate on all the work it took to get him there!  The woman was in high heels!  She dragged his dead weight to who knows where since she didn’t come in there with her car or he would have noticed her while he was lurking around Lindsay’s car.  You go Blair!  Having Dorian walk in on the whole thing was fantastic, and knowing those two are in cahoots just tells us that Dorian is up to something great if she’s involved herself with Mitch.  Dorian is nothing if not elaborate so the unfolding of the origins this partnership should be phenomenal.  We’ve watched Mitch play with half of Llanview so it’s about time we get to watch Mitch be the mouse for a while, and Dorian is just the cat to make it happen!  I can’t wait.   

One of the things I especially love about One Life to Live right now, is the fact that the characters are actually playing smart.  Bo and Nora figured out who killed Sam.  Troy and Blair figured out Troy was the target.  Blair is NOT letting go of Mitch’s connection to Todd’s disappearance.  Even Jen didn’t overlook the gun along with the other clues pointing toward her mother.  I also appreciate how much OLTL is respecting that viewers are smart as well.  Not every story is playing out as you’d expect it to, and that tells me that the writers are aware that the average soap viewer has seen a lot of this stuff before.  Smart writing can take something that is not new to viewers and still make it interesting.  Having the characters be smart enough to figure things out as they go is a step in that direction, and giving us something besides what feels like the inevitable conclusion is another great step in the right direction.  Natalie’s dinner party is a good example of that.  Who among you wasn’t expecting that things would go wrong, something would be burned, cross words exchanged, etc?  There were a few bumps, but no one left in tears and I really found it refreshing that things actually went pretty well, and that Natalie felt a bit of satisfaction at the end of it.  Does this mean things will be great between Carlotta, Cris and Nat from here on out?  Absolutely not (Not unless Carlotta gets some primo meds or something), but it was a nice change to see something work out for someone.  Soaps sometimes deny that a little too often, in their quest for drama.  It may not be perfect but OLTL is apparently working very hard at filling the canvas with a little bit of everything, and that makes for a very satisfying hour.