That was a ball? It was barely a marble. I was not prepared for how much I was going to miss the gowns that Mackey designed and selected for the GH Nurses Ball over the years. But hey, you guys say it best, so let's get into my mailbox for the past week or so. I know some of you are shy, so I won't use names or even initials. You'll know who you are. Thanks, as always, for your wonderful letters and comments. You are my social life, remember I hope all of you enjoy these comments as much as I did.

"I was very disappointed by the Nurses Ball this year. First off, one day is it? It's always at least two days! Because of stuff I've read in magazines saying what was supposed to air but didn't, I think they even cut it down more after filming. Secondly, five musical numbers is ridiculous, especially when two of them were fake music videos. Third, no Lucy in her underwear -- come on! I'll admit, I loved Lucy's speech very much. And, I understand that the ball is very tiring for the actors and that Bob Guza wants to phase it out (I believe I read that somewhere). However, it's a soap opera tradition and, more importantly, it brings exposure to soap operas and to AIDS. Do you know how many news programs and the like did segments on the Nurses Ball? That's a once-a-year opportunity to show cynics that soap operas are not "trash TV," maybe even draw in new viewers in the process. Aaarrrrgghhhhh!!! I look forward to this every year and was very disappointed this time around."

"WHAT in the world was going on with Helena's hair? She usually looks stunning, but at the ball, she looked like Florence Henderson's grandmother!" [For all of you who many not be TV savvy, FH played Carol Brady on The Brady Bunch for many years and continues to do so in the immortality of syndication. She also enjoys the distinction of hailing from my hometown of Owensboro, Kentucky (go Cougars!)]

"What was with that NASTY dress Bobbie wore to the ball? She looked like a hooker… oh yeah, I forgot. Could Hannah work harder to look any MORE like Brenda?"

"Bobbie looked like an emaciated Mae West (and, incidentally, what kind of surgical nurse has two inch fingernails -pale blue, too, I think). Hannah looked like Brenda, but hippy."

"I didn't get a good look at Monica - just dark reddish brown and voluminous - my impression was Veiled Monk. I thought Liz looked pretty good, in an understated sort of way (but understatement on a soap is novel). I didn't even like what Carly was wearing - looked like men's gift wrap or something. My vote for best dressed is Audrey - elegant, expensive, clean. For a "model", Emily has an awkward stance and walk - somebody should give her a couple lessons."

"Am I losing my mind or what....yesterday on GH (6/20), everyone is getting ready for the ball. The scene where Carly tells Sonny she doesn't like her shoes and needs to go out and get another pair. She tells him, "When so and so shows up to do my hair just have her wait until I get back".. This person never showed up and no one ever mentioned her again. Then Carly gets ready for the ball, in this awesome dress with her hair the worst it's been in weeks."

"On Monday, when Bobbie was chewing out AJ, she was wearing this pink spaghetti strap dress that showed more than half of her boobs. Then she runs home for her sexual fun with Roy, wearing lingerie that probably covered more of her body than the pink dress. If she wanted to wear something showy for Roy, she should have left the pink dress on. On Tuesday, Bobbie's Nurses Ball dress was inappropriate. It reminded me why of why she didn't win the Mother of the Year Award in your column. My mother and I jokingly call it a fourth of a dress. Carly is much younger than Bobbie and she was wearing something that covered more. Where do they buy Bobbie's clothes? Sluts are We?"

"I didn't think the acts at this year's Nurse's Ball were as well done as last years. But it was soo good to see Kevin and Lucy." Ahhh. Yes it was. In Sacramento, our cable company does not carry Soap Net (boooo hissss Comcast - forking the evil eye at you) OR Port Charles, so I never get to see them unless there is one of the rare crossovers.

"Was that all to the Nurse's Ball this year? I was really disappointed. I've been a GH watcher since the 1st Nurse's Ball and for a 20 year old, that's a long time. In the past, there's always been some reason for me to watch it, some act that I just kept rewinding on my VCR so that I could watch it. In this was the duet between Emily and Ned, the fights between performances, Jason carrying Robin off the stage, The father daughter rendition of "Thank Heaven for Little Girls," but this year I was disappointed. I fast-forwarded through Emily and Juan's duets, I couldn't really sit still for Ned's performance, and I thought Kevin's was basically irritating. What happened this year? Any other year, the Ball will go on for at least two shows and it usually have a few confrontations. This year, it barely lasted one show and most of it was just talk. I also thought that the outfits have been better in the past. What was with Lucy's hair styles and Chloe's stupid ponytail? And what about how Lucy ending up in her underwear every year? It's sad to say, but I kind of miss how Katherine and/or Eve always managed to one up Lucy. Overall, the Nurses Ball wasn't really worth watching and that's a real disappointment. Maybe next year it'll be better."

There were also comments about the offshoot activities:

"I'm glad "St. Robin's" return is temporary. Her sanctimonious attitude gets to me. "I told the truth." Isn't she old enough to know the truth hurts sometimes? She has AIDS, that's the truth. I wonder how Robin would have liked it if someone had decided to tell that to the world before she was ready? Sonny told her there was a lot she didn't know. I guess Sonny doesn't mean enough to her to suspend judgement until she finds out what went on after she left. I wanted to shake her. Carly didn't come off as badly as I thought she would from the spoiler. Can't wait to see Sonny talk her out of pulling the trigger. She really is cracking up. After what happened when she shot Tony you would think she wouldn't take the risk of another stay at Ferncliff or worse. I've heard of the PMS defense would this be a PostPartumDepression defense. That girl needs some friends. She can't stay the town pariah for ever."

"While I've never liked AJ, I could not believe how truly despicable he was yesterday. I am not emotionally over-wrought and I would have shot him for speaking to me that way, just as a matter of principle. Who can blame her? Here he is goading her, threatening her at any turn, poor Carly has been trying to pull it together for Michael, Sonny and herself.... but the actual point has to do with the things Sonny was saying to her. I just wanted to cry (well, I actually did) when he was saying that he was proud of her and admired her (take your clue from your own "Ozzy and Harriet" remark AJ - these two are already the family you will never have), especially when Sonny mentioned the babies to come. My heart just melted. Right there without any grand pronouncements he pretty much declared himself. I was wondering what would happen with their up-coming marriage and that leads me to believe he still wants it. (Hooray!!) I can't wait until this afternoon when he (in the previews) tells her he needs her. If ever two characters were fated to be together, it is these two. Like I've said before I don't think they will be one of those supercouples who become boring after they get together. I think they will be generating some very interesting pyrotechnics for quite some time (if TPTB allow)."

In addition to the Nurses Ball, one of the hot points in the mail this week was, of course, the fight between Laura and Felicia:

"Didn't you just love how Laura freaked out on Felicia at the safe house? She even went so far as to call her a bitch, not once, but twice! I was quite surprised that they had her do that on daytime television."

"Next week you have got to comment on the scene between Laura & Felicia and the safe house. I found a web site where I could read the transcripts of the day's episode and even though I was only reading about it instead of actually watching it, I was like on the edge of my seat. Laura really let her have it (Laura: "You Bitch, You Bitch, you just don't care who you hurt do you?") God, it was just the best stuff."

"I turned on the TV in the middle of the Laura and Felicia showdown at the safe house (have you ever wondered how safe that house really is . . . everybody shows up there?). I really wished I had that scene on tape. I said, "you bitch" at the same time Laura did. I know Laura does not have any legal claim on Luke, (and the way he has been acting she shouldn't try for an emotional claim on him either!), but when Felicia questioned whether Laura really knew Luke I went ballistic. All Laura did was ask if Luke did indeed whack Stefan, Bobbie asked the same question. Please, Luke could qualify for frequent killer miles, there was Stravos, a few henchmen on Ice Princess Island, a few henchmen of Frank Smith, and an attempt or two on Helena."

"The writers did not do Felicia any favors today either. During her scene with Mac on the docks she actually had to say "he's a fugitive from justice!!!" I was half expecting her to say, Luke didn't do it. . . it was the one-armed man!"

One thing I do have to say is that it seems that the writers love to hate Felicia. They have taken her on quite a ride from the cute and wise mom, best friend and wife to, well, forty miles of bad road. I have to admit that I can't help but bring to mind a rumor (RUMOR, folks. I have no validation of it at all) that was going around about Kristina Wagner amongst the studio some time ago. I am not telling you this to perpetuate the rumor, but to possibly piece together a sequence of events into a reasonable hypothesis. The rumor went that supposedly, Faison came to town not giving a fig about Felicia, but intent on stalking Laura instead. This was going to ultimately lead to Faison kidnapping Laura, Luke rescuing her and hitting the jackpot by also finding Lucky. This was to culminate in a Spencer reunion…all the way. The story goes that KW started kicking up a fuss about the Quartermaine mystery that was supposed to be her big front burner story dying with a weak fizzle. To appease her, the writers and execs redirected Faison to Felicia and that's how we ended up with her chained to a bed in the basement wearing foo-foo nighties. What I am wondering is if the writers, being the vindictive little suckers that they are, said, "OK, you can have your front burner story, but we are going to also make every mom and faithful daddy in the world hate you." (I do know that not all moms and faithful daddies in the world bear resentment to Felicia, but I think this might have been the goal of the writers.) It's a thought…and one I felt inclined to share. Have we been manipulated into feeling badly about Felicia all because of a behind-the-scenes political move? Think about it. Not only does she diss both Mac and her kids, but she gets in the way of one of the most anxiously anticipated reunion in soap history. What better way to turn us against her? It bears consideration.

There were also comments about the show in general:

"I have found that through the last year or so, the show has really gone down hill in the character department. With the loss of such characters as Vanessa Marcil, Steve Burton, Tyler Christopher, and Jonathan Jackson, and the soon departing Ingo Rademacher, I feel like I don't connect with the show the way I used to do. But I still enjoy the good points of daytime. Didn't you love the catfight between Laura and Felicia at the safe house? I thought that was the best one yet!"

"I was withholding my opinion. but after having some few weeks to watch the story unfold I am really pleased by the way the Sonny/Carly storyline is progressing. Although I much rather would have had the baby still alive, the writing and the tender performances have been simply superb. From Carly's obvious inability to sit properly when she came home, to her slow wind up to yesterday, have all been flawlessly acted. It is really great to see that Sonny is not plunging into manic depression over this. Last time this happened to him he had to go through it all alone. Having the opportunity to take care of Michael and Carly has helped him so much. Being an 'I am going to act' type, this is an excellent channel. You can see how much he needs her. And how much he loves and needs having she and Michael in the house. It will be great to see how Carly's character evolves now that she has someone who knows her tricks and accepts her completely. She will always be the in-your-face instigator but I can't wait to see where she takes it now that it looks like her fears of abandonment will be assuaged. (Can't you see Carly as Mayor?)"

"PLEASE don't tell me the big summer adventure with Lucky, Liz, Emily, Juan, and Nikolas will be the gang saving Emily from some guy at the hotel. That would be truly disappointing. I liked Emily better when she was high and depressed, at least that way we wouldn't have to see the dreadful scenes between her and Juan were they contemplate if they should do it or not. Speaking of dreaded scenes, can Bobbi and Roy please FOR ONCE not end a scene sucking face. It's really starting to creep me out."

"I know that you covered the deliciousness of Andreas last week (every time he's on screen I want to yelp "bonus!") but can we get any more homoerotic with Stefan and his knife and his "naughty boy?"

"It is absolutely disgusting on what GH is implying on the relationship between Helena and Stefan. Why are they going there? But the one thing you have been writing about that I just don't understand from you. Especially since 90% on what you say is dead ringer on what I am thinking. Is your fascination with Andreas. Why is he so attractive to you? These are my reasons why I think he is a loser: 1). As an identical twin myself, I could not even go close to someone who killed my twin. 2) Rod Stewart sang a song.. He's just a gigolo... 3) He is very weak minded and fear controlled. That he is like taffy between Helena and Stefan. 4) He can't think for himself. 5) To even have sex with someone his twin did is disgusting."

What can I say? He's cute, he does whatever she says with a smile and a "Yes, Madam" and I'll just bet he cleans that big boat to a fare-thee-well. I'm one of these women who fantasizes about having several men at once: one doing the dishes, one doing the laundry, one mopping the floor, one cleaning the bathroom…

By now you may be wondering if I was ever going to get around to my own opinions or just turn the column into a message board. Why yes, I say, I do have several of my own.

I thought that the Nurses Ball was a disappointment, compared to other years. In the "Footloose" scene, I thought that Liz, Emily and Juan just looked bored. They should watch the footage from the "Jump, Jive and Wail" that Tony, Mike and Bobbie did last year. They are geriatrics and managed a hundred times the energy these youngsters put into this years performance.

When I heard Ned was doing "Simply Irresistible", I was really hoping for some familiar faces in the chick line. It would have been fun to see Hannah, Chloe, Liz and Alexis (It would have been fun just to see Alexis at all) backing him up.

I had to laugh at Lucy singing "Hey Good Looking" with two men with whom she had previously "cooked something up" that BURNED. The most enjoyable part of the ball, to me, was actually the rendition of "Lean on Me" led by Emily and Juan. It was such a crackup to see Helena singing soulfully to such altruistic lines. Em and Juan reminded me of Pebbles and Bam-Bam when they sang, "So let the sun shine in…face it with a grin" and Fred tried to make money off of them.

Other comments, turning more towards the catty. That slit in Bobbie's dress was something else. Of course, that sentence would also function fully and truthfully with a slight change of vowels in the second word.

I was sorry to see that Chloe got the hair extensions instead of Robin. Robin was so sweet and the picture of virtue and young wisdom…until she cut her hair. The second she got near the scissors, she turned into narrow-eyed, crossed-arms, bossy, pious woman. Since her hair is still short, she remained NECABPW. Plus, her hair looked like something reated by a weaver bird.

Chloe's hair reminded me of a doll I craved when I was little: Chrissy with growing auburn hair. She had this hair that, if you gave a good yank, grew about 6" causing all little girls within a mile to emit a synchronized "Awwww." You then cranked it up again with a knob on her back. I desperately wanted one, but, of course, my cousin Delena got it instead and I got, I dunno, a rock or something. I named my daughter Delena years later, but was highly tempted to call her Chrissy just to be snippity.

Ned's smudge on his chin looks like he's trying to emulate the butler…or maybe Frank Zappa (ah, may he rest in peace, *sniff*). I was glad to see Reginald at the ball, smudge and all. At least he knows his came first.

Loved Carly's dress and thought it was one of the best there. Hannah also looked good, but the top dressed award goes to Audrey. If you have it on tape, rewind and get a look. I expected her to go matronly and frumpy, but dang, her dress screamed class, sophistication and MONEY, lots of MONEY.

Speaking of wardrobes, it dawned on me this week that, to depict how ludicrous both are in dressing, wouldn't it be a hoot of Laura and Bobbie switched wardrobes? Think about it.

So Laura is going to hit on Mac? In-ter-est-ing. I wonderful if she's going to get curled up again to do it? I do wish they would get some consistency to her character. I love the way she's strong and determined, but cringe when she gets all whiney and weak. Yes, I know more than most how a woman's emotions can shift, especially during times of stress and turmoil, but she's turning into Sybil.

Two really weird things happened on Friday's show. First, Lesley came home (while Laura was reading Stefan's "I'm dead" letter), griping about the heat and wearing a denim coat. Hmmm. Maybe she doesn't have all that mind numbing medication out of her system yet.

Next, Hannah walked into Jake's and talked to her for a good five minutes about the shooting in the parking lot. Jake has always struck me as a sharp shooter, so shouldn't some comment have been made along the lines of, "Hey, aren't you that crappy waitress I fired for stealing from my till a little over a year ago?"

I thought it was a rumor, but it looks as though it might actually come to pass that Jax leaves the show by way of Helena. Amazing.

QUICK! If we all hurry over to, we can get our own copy of "We've Got Tonight" by Juan! He can sing to us even when the show is NOT on and we will no longer have to rewind our favorite Juan episodes to catch it!! Don't go all at once, now, or we might crash the server!

Carly and Sonny. Mmmm mmmm good. I love how wonderful he's being with her as she screams and rants and is angry with the world. I don't think he's going to take the physical abuse very well (God forbid he had whacked her! The show would be lambasted!!!), but evidently they are going to get through that just fine because Monday is the day that they hop back into bed.

Did I tell you or did I tell you? His show Semper Fi is back-burnered (or the stove is shut off entirely) and it's not thirty seconds before Steve Burton is popping back into GH again. Guess that mortgage payment is due…

See ya next week.