To be honest, I’m sick this week, so the column is going to be short. There were really just a couple few issues I wanted to address before I drink a pint of Bacardi and return to my deathbed. (I shall rise on the 7th day and write again…oh yes, I shall!)

First off, I felt the week was pretty much a snoozer. Not a lot went on that was critical and if you missed the whole week because your cable was on the blink or your local station cut away for coverage of the new Wal-Mart opening, you really didn’t miss much.

I was offended by how childish and petty some of the main players were behaving. Maybe it’s the heat (California sho’ does get hot in the summer time, laws yes) or the sick or the can’t help it’s, but I found myself getting seriously irritated with some of these characters who have been my buddies before.

Bobbie. (Never my buddy) I’ve really tried to see it your way, folks. I understand that Carly is a handful and is in trouble more times than she’s not. I know she’s a user and isn’t above manipulating anyone with a pulse to get what she wants. I just don’t buy the tough love thing Bobbie is pulling with Carly, though. When Bobbie had a crisis (OMIGOD, ROY MIGHT GO TO JAIL SOME MORE FOR TRYING TO KILL A SENATOR. SONNY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT???!!), she was in everyone’s face, demanding that they do something. I remember a particular episode where Carly and Sonny had been out on the town, having a lovely time, getting to know one another and Bobbie got all up and down their backs, griping about how nice it was that they could go out and party when POOR ROY was in jail. She wouldn’t give anyone a minute’s rest until she got her way. Talk about manipulating people, what about that guilt trip she pulled on Carly to get her to open Sonny’s desk (??!!). If Gail Baldwin or Lesley Webber ever gets the sack to tell off Monica and Bobbie about how they behaved when they were Carly’s age, those two nags (Monica and Bobbie, not Lesley and Gail) would be on the floor, prostrating themselves to Carly, begging her forgiveness for being so mean to her. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Bobbie is blatantly manipulating Carly into living with Sonny when she doesn’t want to do so. I don’t think that Carly’s refusal to live with Sonny is an effort to hurt him as Bobbie insists (that would be flirting with Roy…THATS the effort to hurt him), but more of an interest in not living where she feels she isn’t wanted. In fact, Bobbie is using Michael as a means to hurt Carly by whining about how Michael doesn’t need to be moved from house to house. Of course he doesn’t, but to say that she is refusing to let Carly live in the brownstone so that Michael can live where he’s used to is using Michael to get Carly back to Sonny’s. Why would she want to do that? Not that hard to figure out. Carly living at the brownstone would get in the way of her using her every moment to climb over Roy, the human jungle gym. As hard as I have tried to see it any other way, I don’t see Bobbie’s actions as anything but selfish. Nice how she decorated Roy’s place for him, huh? Nope, SHE’S not a manipulator. SHE’S not a pushy broad. She’s just trying to help *bat*bat*bat*. (growl)

Carly. I wanted to smack her this week for being so whiney and pathetic and “poor, poor me.” I was rolling my eyes hearing her talk about her poor life. I’d really like to see the strong woman that’s in there come out and gain a little wisdom along the way. Her sad tale of woe just didn’t move me at all. As Bobbie pointed out, God forbid she get a (gasp!) J-O-B and work like the rest of us. Since she’s been in town, she’s had four wealthy men take care of her and them odds ain’t bad. When she was arguing with Bobbie about living in the brownstone, she sounded like a five-year-old not getting her way. I expected her to start stomping a little patent leather T-strap shoe at any moment. What will be the first thing Jason says when he gets back to town. “Where’s all my money and what are all these Wyndhams’ bags doing here?”

Liz. Is she the next Robin, or what? I used to like her, but the pie-sized, pious, puppy-dog eyes with tears a-brimmin’ and bitten, trembling lips is starting to wear thin. She really needs to get a new game. Hopefully putting a big smack on Nikolas this week will shoot some new ideas into her head. As condemnable as Carly might be, the “Sonny lost a child but you lost a meal ticket” line put her in the same jail as Luke’s line of “I haven’t felt the same about LuLu now that the transfusion put Cassadine blood in her veins” as far as I’m concerned. That was too low to the ground. I doubt I’ll ever feel the same about Liz again because of that line. In my opinion, nothing Carly said warranted something as horrible as that.

Emily. I can’t believe she is going to break down and tell that little low life Eddie Munster freak everybody’s secret. Was she not listening to Lucky? Now she’s endangering everyone just because her heart still skips a beat when he begs for forgiveness.

Sonny. Just say it, man. Just say it.

Hannah and Taggert. Zzzzz. “You have UGLY ties…tee hee hee.” “FREEZE, FBI!!” Remember Hooks from Police Academy?

The rumor is Bobbie and Roy break up. Excellent.

The rumor is Chloe and Stefan are going to be a couple. Reaction pending. (Immediate result is “…of what??”)

Last comment. The info that was circulating in one of the soap mags that Patricia Healy was let go for being overweight or not sexy enough is a total fallacy. Ms. Healy had some personal issues that she had to handle immediately and may or may not return to the role of Tammy once they are handled.

Best part of the week? Definitely Stefan giving the blonde coat of paint he’s been wearing the shove off.

See ya next week.