WHAT PRESIDENT WAS IN OFFICE THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN? Hmmm (Picture Sage frowning here) if I’d known it was going to be a pop quiz, I would have studied! It was the one before Kennedy, because I remember seeing the footage of him being shot when I was a wee child, so I’m guessing it was the old one with no hair and the formidable looking wife. What was his name? Eisenhower. The last of the WarGods.

WHAT IS YOUR ASTRO SIGN? I’m a triple-play Cancer, Cancer, Cancer

IN WHAT STATE DO YOU LIVE? Ah! A state of inquisitive wonder!

MARRIED? Oh, heavens no. Mother would be deeply disappointed if I weren’t around to take care of her. I never once felt the inclination.

CHILDREN? Only three beautiful little nieces and two nephews who adore their Uncle Sage! I’m a fabulous cook and they love the sweets I make for them. They are magnificent. I, myself, have never felt the need to procreate when there are already so many lovely, sweet faces that I do not have to personally take care of. J Sage does *not* change diapers or jostle screamy babies. He’s strictly a “buy me that, Uncle Sage, pweease!” uncle.

FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? Our Gang, Captain Kangaroo (love that Mr Greenjeans fellow!) and later, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father (I adored how Mr Livingston called him “Mr Eddie’s Father.”

WHAT DO YOU WATCH PRIME TIME? Mother and I love nothing more than to round out a giant tub of popcorn, pour some Pepsi over crackling ice and drink in the good shows. We think Dharma and Greg are terrible funny, we also love Will and Grace, Once and Again, Charmed, Spin City (*gasp* My poor, poor MJFox *sniff*), Seventh Heaven (although that mother is just unreal – she gives me vicious creeps), NYPD Blue, That Seventy’s Show, Hollywood Squares (that Whoopi is such a card and I looooove Bruce Valance – what a sweet little queen he is!), oh lord, I could go on, because we watch SO MUCH TV. It’s just the greatest entertainment. I think more apt is our list of shows that we are absolutely livid at being canceled: A little thing called DR QUINN MEDICINE WOMAN, Chicago Hope, Felicity, there are so many perfectly wonderful shows that have been cast aside like old shoes. It’s an absolute sin. Now we hear Lone Gunmen has not been picked up. That Byers is quite a man!

LAST BOOK YOU READ? Mother and I enjoy reading almost as much as TV! Anything is fair game! We love mystery, poetry, romance, horror…oh, just anything. Last read “Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukov. What a lovely, gentle man! I’m currently working on “A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson, who writes such lovely, lovely words but looks like a flaming bitch! (Just my thoughts, I’m sure she’s fine). Of course, I keep Gary Warner’s coffee table books on the soaps in the rack by the potty because I can always find some wonderful quick reading there. Another great quick read is any selection from the “The Rest of the Story” series by Paul Andrant, Paul Harvey’s son.

FAVORITE ALBUM? Mother and I love anything by Miss Barbra Streisand, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Mantovani, Manhattan Transfer and Julie London. We also enjoy show tunes. I love Miami Sound Machine (The rhythm is gonna get you, girls!), The Eurythmics, Wham, Depeche Mode, The Cure and Madonna.

FAVORITE NON-SOAP HOBBY? Gardening, board and card games, movies, painting, surfing the ol’ net!

WHAT SOAPS DO YOU WATCH AND FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU WATCHED EACH ONE? WHAT GOT YOU STARTED?

I watch GH, OLTL and AMC and have since they first came on the air when I was just a little Sage.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER FROM GH and OLTL ?

GH: Love that Tristan Rogers! Yummy with a spoon, as Katrina says! Faison, who is soooo bad!

OLTL: Dr Larry Wolek and Marcello who swept Katrina Karr off her feets

AMC: Loved Greg! Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving him back to us as Sammy on OLTL! Also, Dimitri. Mmmm mmm good!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER, SAME?

GH: Ah, I loved Mary Mae Ward! What a cuddly mum! I could just snuggle right down into her bosoms and take a little nappy nap! A close tie is the indomitable Lucy Coe! How I miss her!

OLTL: The glorious most divamatic goddess in soap history, DORIAN!!

AMC: Love me some Opal! That voice like razor blades on Sage’s backside! That fashion that burns the eyes! LOVE HER!

FAVORITE STORYLINE FROM EACH SHOW YOU WATCH (PAST OR PRESENT)?

OLTL: Hmmm. I think the little tea party that Dorian and Viki and whomever had when Dorian had that swami drug tea.

GH: Beautiful Lucy Coe and her psychic prowess with Madame Maya and those lovely men dressing up in drag to save their girls!

AMC: When Erica swiped Maria and Edmund’s baby. Yikes!

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER FROM EACH?

OLTL: Max. That trouser snake.

GH: Burt Ramsey. I knew he was up to something.

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER FROM EACH?

OLTL: I absolutely despise that little ho, Roseanne!

GH: Boobie, Flea and Carly (for turning on my Sonny!)

AMC: Gillllian! What a WHINEY little beast!

LEAST FAVORITE STORYLINE FROM EACH?

OLTL: Those over the top, hokey, surreal things like Eternia, Wild West Days and Viki Goes to Heaven. Also hated Jessica stalking Dorian and think the little bitch should have done hard time in a maximum security nut house.

GH: That Casey-the-Alien crap, The Sword of Malkuth, any story at all that involves the presence of Felicia, the blonde bimbo who is the object of my intense, white hot hatred. So throw in Felicia Strapped To A Bed in Bad Lingerie by the devilish Faison, whose presence was the only scene saver there.

AMC: That horrible phantom-of-the-opera, Erica with a mask time. Blech.