Random Thoughts on (GASP!!)
ALL the ABC Soaps!

And a Few Other Things Too!

Hello. Remember me? Carolyn. You know, the one that is obsessed with cleaning, thinks her arms are fat and DIDN’T WIN THE BREAKFAST WITH TED KING! (WTF?!)  I’ve been itching to write something but my laptop went kurplunk and my aging 2 year old Dell has hit the skids. Right now I’ve magically pressed some special combination of keys to allow me to type a document in WORD. Let’s just hope I’m able to complete it! I need to write! I need to vent!  

My husband is out of town this week. My poor kids. I’ve got a serious case of PMS. You know the kind. The one that fills up your stomach with emotional angst, making you feel as if you’re going to literally explode and gallons of anger will shoot out of your insides, attacking everyone within a five mile radius…yep. That’s me. A bundle of PMS frustration. Add to that a bit of an attack of some nasty stomach bug leaving my butt to bond continually with the porcelain God and you’ve got one happy camper for a mom these days! I’m a trouper though. I’m intent on ridding my body of this extra arm weight (and thigh and butt and whatever else carries the extra weight on my body) so I actually took my sorry self to the health club today and attempted a workout. They (whomever they are, I still don’t know the answer to that one!) say that if you continue your routine as best as possible, you have less of a chance of losing the motivation. And I think ‘they’re’ right. I’m looking forward to feeling well enough tomorrow to actually pump my body with some serious cardio! I wonder if they’ll allow a porta-potty in the exercise room?  

Since I’ve not been extremely well (and have been what one might call, BORED OFF MY ASS) lately, I’ve dabbled in a bit of obsessive soap watching. And boy do I have some stuff to say!  

First, let’s talk about All My Children. Not for any particular reason other than it’s on first and I like order. (DUH!) 

Doesn’t anyone know that what Kendall did she did out of love for her family and friends? Isn’t Greenlee, who’s been reduced to the biggest bitch on daytime TV, going to feel like utter pond scum when this all comes out in the open? I used to really dislike spoiled rotten little Greenlee. Then something happened and I started to like her. She developed friendships and motivated herself to have a life outside of a man for a change. I was impressed. I actually enjoyed the relationships of the Fusion girls, even though I hated that stupid Face of Fusion contest. (It should have been given to Aiden because he’s just the hottest in my book!) Then her best friend does something horrible (or makes us all think she did) by marrying a nasty, sorry excuse for a human being (the character, not the actor, by the way!) all for the sake of saving her family, friends and their respective companies and Greenlee goes into nasty bitch in high school that everyone hated mode. I don’t even love to hate this girl anymore. I just simply hate her. And that Juan Pablo guy? O how I wish he’d have been shot instead of Edmund.  

Why did Liza get her hair cut? It’s much better long. Kudos to her for dropping the weight though. Very impressive. I’m not a Tad fan (sorry, can’t help it. I’ve just never seen the attraction.) but I am interested to see what will happen between Tad and Liza. Poor Simone. Always gets the shaft. Maybe if the girl gained a pound of two she’d have some backbone and truly stand up for herself.  

I love Adam and Mary! Who says that the veteran players aren’t attractive and sexy? Mr. Chandler can eat crackers in my bed any day! What chemistry these two have! Bring it on!  

If they make Carlos the killer of Michael Cambias I will write nasty letters to the writers for years to come. Why is it always the day player or the now killed off actor that never stuck that is the scapegoat? I want a real, contract player to be the killer! Lord knows they all hand reasons.  

Hello! Bianca is pregnant. How stupid for people NOT to notice! That’s just a stupid storyline that makes us all look like idiots.  And speaking of pregnant, wouldn’t Kendall gain at least an ounce or two in her legs carrying around a baby? I know I sure did! Many, many ounces actually!  

Oh, and about Kendall…I absolutely love Alicia Minshew. She is incredibly talented and far surpasses the acting capabilities of the previous Kendall (even though she was a much younger actor at the time.) I love that woman. She isn’t beautiful. She’s beyond that. She’s beyond stunning and even though she’s smaller than a toothpick, I think she’s lookin’ mighty fit these days. Notice the more pronounced shoulders? I think she and Rebecca have been hitting the health club together quite often. I love Kendall and I love her with Ryan. I hope they get to be happy, for awhile at least!  

Does anyone else notice that Jacob Young yells as JR too? I thought maybe it was a Lucky thing but apparently it’s a Jacob Young thing. Big EW from me.  

Who’s the guy that plays Jamie? Who cares. I don’t need to know his name, it doesn’t matter. What matters? He’s hot and he can act! I’d like to see him get a storyline over and above “I’m almost 18 and I’m Tads son and I just lost my virginity”. Because let’s face it, a guy that hot lost it a long time ago. Probably to someone like Mary. You know the song, “Older woman make beautiful lovers”. If only I lived in NYC!  

Babe. Ew. ‘Nuff said.  

Krystal. Love her. Love her attitude, love her clothes, love her bad accent. Just love her, love her, love her! Would love her even more with David though. That will be fun to see!  

Mia? Can you say conniving bitch? Too bad she’s turned into that. I used to like her.  

I haven’t watched the Brooke/Edmund/Maria stuff because it’s got Juan Pablo in almost every scene and he just annoys me. Besides, I’m terrible with accents and I can’t understand a thing he says.  

All in all, I’m really enjoying the show these days. I go through spurts. I like the core characters and it’s always a joy to see Palmer. If I were single, I’d pull a wild card and pick him as the Anna Nicole Smith relationship for me. He’s a hottie and just a pleasure to watch! There is a true consistency to the characters of AMC that GH doesn’t offer. We can almost predict their actions and when they do something that surprises us, it’s not so out of character that we sit with true “WTF” looks on our faces. AMC is a classy soap. There’s not too much violence and it’s based on love and relationships. Just like soaps are supposed to be! Come on, how often is the Mob on AMC?  

 Let’s move on to One Life to Live… 

What a waste, making the serial killer someone that’s just building a character and could have a decent future with the show. It should have been someone like Rae, since she’s leaving anyway. And I’m not even remotely impressed with the focus of the killer being around John. What’s the deal with this guy anyway? Why does everyone like him so much? I didn’t like him on Port Charles and I don’t like him on OLTL. He’s got that Johnny Depp thing going on for me. Take a shower dude! Please! It sure looks like you need one! Big, Big, BIG EW factor for Carolyn!  

I’m so tired of Blair and Todd I’d just like them both to shut up and move on. How many break ups/make ups can we go through? Put Todd with someone else. It’s time to move on people! I love Trevor St. John though. He’s a great actor, hot and well, hot. Ultimately, that’s all that matters to me. He’s hot. I like him. Bring on Todd! This rape trial is interesting. I’m starting to think that Blair might be pregnant with all this headache/fainting or whatever stuff going on. It will be interesting to see what happens.  

I so do not like Jen. She’s scamming on her best friends sort of boyfriend who’s really her dead boyfriend trying to get her to see him in this guys eyes (that’s confusing!). It reminds me of a girl I knew in Chicago whose goal was to sleep with every one of her friends boyfriends just to feel better about herself. Gross. Marcie deserves better. And don’t get me started on the fact that we won’t really get a Marcie and Al reunion due to the whole “not knowing you’re Al, but actually becoming Michael” thing. What a crock and what a smack in the face to all of us Al and Marcie fans.  

I know everyone likes Starr, but the character is so obnoxious and annoying at times that the unrealisticness of her just makes her almost cartoonish to me. Sorry folks. Great little actress, terribly designed character. It’s kind of like Michael on GH going to see Carly with his baby brother. Like that wouldn’t raise a whole bunch of red flags through out the city!  

Does anyone else find it interesting that Nat is living with her ‘mom’ again after all those years of being treated poorly and dejected? Just one of those things that make me go hmmm… 

Someone please tell Antonio to cut his hair! I liked it so much better when it was high and tight!  

I don’t want to see Vicki and Ben. I have PMS and that is the last thing I need; a bunch of dead people coming back to carry someone else off to Heaven. I like him much better with Vicki than with Bonnie anyway so I think he made the wrong show choice!  

I think the pairing of Rex and Lindsey is hot. HOT! HOT! LOVE THEM! What a hit the writers made with these two characters. Rex is just enough good boy and a whole lot of bad boy to be the younger version of someone that Lindsey could obsess about. Yes, the gal needs a real love interest but she’s so much fun when she’s being naughty. I love her. And Catherine Hickland is looking mighty trim and tight these days! Good for her! It still cracks me up that she is the former Mrs. Hasselhoff. I just don’t see that working. Oh, wait. Apparently it didn’t!  

I think it’s great that Jennifer is getting it thrown back in her face from her mother and the guy she’s abused emotionally forever. She certainly deserves it!  

It grosses me out to think that Adrianna could be the aunt of River (even though he’s adopted) and I don’t like that storyline at all. BUT…with that being said, I am greatly enjoying David and Dorian. Always have. They are so much fun to watch. I swear, they’ve got to be sleeping together in real life. You can have that kind of sexual chemistry and ignore it! That would be like Ted King and I not giving in to our desires. Please! (Sorry, got carried away again.) 

I am not going to comment on Kevin and NuNu Kelly. I just don’t like either of them. Oh, did I just comment?  

There are a lot of good things happening on OLTL these days. I am happy with most of the stories,  though some are great bathroom or soda (caffeine free only) breaks. Like AMC, there is consistency to the characters and you can expect certain things to happen in certain ways without being blown out of the water with stupid stuff. Except of course when I recast comes onboard and the character is changed so much she’s unrecognizable. That’s really the only beef I have with the show. (Again, I commented on someone I wasn’t going to comment on. Sorry!)  

Now, for the one…the only, the ridiculous General Hospital! (Loud drum roll please!)  

Dayna (famously known as Dayna of the Fashion Police) and I traded emails the other day about how we watch certain parts and not others of General Hospital. I’m watching Zander right now because I was just starting to like him and now he’s going to be gone and I’m going to miss him. Pulling Maxie into the mix is a bit odd but I guess they needed someone innocent and naïve, so whatever. I hope he decides at some point to come back, still in the form of Chad Brannon and sticks it to Emily. That would be fun to watch!  

I still love Faith and I hope she does some really nasty, evil, fun stuff during this fire that lasts for six days.  

Could Robin Christopher look any more cute pregnant? Ticks me off! She’s just like Rebecca Herbst. Where are their butts? Mine got so big I grew out of my maternity pants after 6 months and wore leggings for the rest of the time! Life is so incredibly unfair! Skye and Luke are great together and I hope he gets over this Laura thing and moves on. Enough already. Sure, I liked them too but it’s over dude! Her brain is toast and she ain’t comin’ back!!!  

I liked how Skye stuck it to Jax, King of all Assholes. And the drink in Tracey’s face was to die for. Good stuff with them. Put those two and Faith and Helena in a room and you’ve got one kick butt soap opera going on! How fun would THAT be?  

I used to like Nic and Emily but this stupid back in time story has worn thing on my nerves and now they all annoy me, regardless of what century they’re in.  

I don’t want Mac to be critically injured. I hope he survives because I love Mac. And when I saw him at the fan event last year I was so in awe of the absolute hardness of each and every muscle I could barely breathe. Hug me again, PLEASE!  (Girls, not THAT one! Geez, get your minds out of the gutter, will ya? The only one of those muscles that mattered to me then was Ted Kings and how it looked shaved!) If he’s gone for good and doesn’t appear at the fan event I’m going to write nasty letters to Frons and the others and then I’ll be banned from ever attending any fan event again.  

Courtney’s been interesting. I can’t wait to see if there’s a battle coming between her and Carly. I’m sort of missing Kung Fu Courtney. Come on, admit it. Haven’t you had the urge to slap someone or kick the crap out of them at least once in your life? I can name several gals I went to junior high and high school with for sure!  

I cannot even start to tell you what I think of Sonny because I don’t have enough space in the memory of my computer. I hope Carly wins the custody battle and she and Alcazar live happily ever after as mom and dad.  I like sweet Alcazar. He’s just yummy. Kathy and I reached an impasse about whose worse, Sonny or Alcazar. I say Sonny, she says Alcazar. What do you think?  

I never thought I’d say this and Kathy was shocked when I told her, but I’ve forgiven Ric. He’s just too flippin’ hot in a suit not to like.  

Where’s Elizabeth? And please, Please let Sage die in that fire. I can’t take much more of her! She can perish along with the sex crazed idiot Tom. Please!  

Okay, I think I’ve given enough opinion for today. I’m all typed out. I hope everyone has a great weekend! It’s raining like it’s never rained here before in Atlanta and I am not thrilled about that!  

Oh, by the way, as I ran on the treadmill today I snooped and listened to two women talk about General Hospital and, would you believe, EOS! I told them who I was and I actually felt famous! It was so cool! But now I have to make sure to workout everyday or they’ll know I’m not there and it will be bad for my image! Thanks to them also for telling me my arms aren’t fat! Katrina’s been telling me that for months! I think I’m starting to believe it!  

Ciao!

 

More From Carolyn