I haven’t had the opportunity to watch much of General Hospital these days. I’m on Eastern time, which means GH airs at 3 pm here. Just precisely the time my kindergartener and fifth grader walk in the door. I’m then bombarded with snack requests, play requests, whines, moans, ailments of all sorts, complaints, homework and most recently fundraising opportunities. General Hospital is on again at 10 pm on Soapnet, but considering I’m up at 5:45 am, I can’t make it through even the first fifteen minutes of the show that late at night. And lastly, it airs the next day at 9 am on Soap Net, which is when I’m sweating profusely through a spin class on Gold’s Gym. So needless to say, there’s not been much GH in my life lately.  

Thankfully I’ve been lucky enough to watch another soap…All My Children. I would say I ‘dabble’ in this show periodically and that with all things being equal, I like it. It’s not so much about crime and the mob and all that off the wall stuff OLTL often has to offer (time in Eterna, twins from different fathers, etc.). It’s more of a traditional soap…love, passion, sex, obscure parentage and good old fashion revenge.  

I must admit, today’s episode and a few of the more recent ones have hooked me. I enjoyed the scenes with Babe and Bianca in bed together because even though Lucky, I mean, JR’s reaction wasn’t what I’d consider common, it was rather comical. In my personal opinion, I’m sure if my husband estranged or otherwise, would quite enjoying finding me in bed with someone of my sex! Oh well, I guess Lucky, I mean JR, just isn’t into that kind of thing! He’s more into shouting and showing us what he thinks are his kahunas… 

I’ve also enjoyed something I thought I wouldn’t like in the least bit…Greenlee and Ryan. Though I’m not really a fan of any specific couple (I like most of them for various reasons and know that ultimately none of them will stay together), I did prefer Kendall and Ryan to Greenlee and Ryan. I tired of Greenlee and her forever bratty, insecure, it’s all about me attitude. Come off it already lady, you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You may have lacked love, but you at least had the ability to feel as though you had some self worth. Kendall on the other hand felt her life meant nothing based on the fact that she is the product of rape. Sorry Greenlee, but I tend to favor the psycho actions of a personality warped by rape over the psycho actions of a spoiled brat. But lately something in Greenlee has changed. Sure, she’s still a royal bitch to Kendall (and at times, rightly so) but she’s started to soften again, started to think about others for a change. It’s made her less painful to look at. (Until I think about the actor and the fact that she married that bachelor guy who annoys the heck out of me and I think “WTF were you thinking?!” but that’s a whole different column!) Ryan could have chemistry with a stick, so to see him with nice-Greenlee is starting to rub off on me. Add to that Kendall being a true whack-case and I can’t help but like them together. Poor Kendall, she needs some serious psychological help. Perhaps she and her sister and mother could get a family discount at Ferncliff? Hey, it’s just a thought!  

Speaking of Kendall, I’ve noticed how they’ve allowed the wonderful Alicia Minshew to interact with just about every man on the show. The woman is an amazing actress, though personally I think she needs to eat something every now and again. She’s got phenomenal chemistry with each and every character, but I do so like her with Aiden. I like Aiden in general but he’s always been extremely devoted to her, even when she’s slapped him in the face emotionally speaking over and over and over again. I’d like to see her finally realize they belong together, but it’s unlikely. I seem to remember reading somewhere that she’s pegged to be with Ethan? I could be wrong, but who knows. The jury is still out on that guy considering I don’t have a clue who he is yet!  

Which brings me to Zach…interesting that they’ve made him Michael Cambias’s brother. How did that happen? Are we talking a half brother on their mother’s side or what? I must confess, I was quite curious about his identity and why all of this mattered to him, but I thought he’d end up being a friend/cousin/uncle/grandchild/great grandchild (hey, this is a soap, anything’s possible!) but nope. He’s a brother. Tell me why then, did it take so long for him to come and ‘avenge’ his brother’s death?  

That there’s what they call “fast writing to make a good story” folks. (I’m using a bit of my Larry the Cable Guy tongue there. If you don’t know who he is you’re missing out. He’s a trip. And his sister is covered in moles!)  

I’m still not convinced I like the addition of Thornsten Kaye into AMC. I wasn’t big on him in PC and though I sort of liked his character on OLTL, I haven’t found the magic of him as a Pine Valleyian just yet. I don’t dislike the actor, but I’m kind of stuck in his Patrick mode. If my memory serves me well that was his character’s name on OLTL…

You know what else I like on AMC lately? The fact that those two annoying kids aren’t on so much lately. What’s their names? I can’t even remember because I find my remote spontaneously switching to HGTV each time they’re on. One is the daughter of the Police Commissioner and the other is Jack’s adopted son. I know Katrina likes him and that’s all fine and dandy, but he just annoys the crap out of me. He’s all tough and ready to tackle the world when someone in his family is hurt, wronged or caught jay-walking. Too much tough guy for me to handle. I had enough of boys like him in high school, thank you very much!  

Oh and I have to admit, I’m liking the fact that Erika’s hair has been, shall we say, less BIG lately? It was in a lovely ponytail the other day and I was surprised that my eyes were actually drawn to her attractive face instead of the bottle of hairspray that was obviously sprayed all over her hair. Nice change of scenery for me.  

I’m over Maria and Edmund. And do you think she’s got implants or are those babies real? I have never seen things like that stand at attention the way hers do. And believe me, I check out boobs all the time. I’m a woman. Admit it. We all do. We want to see if they’re real. You know you do it too so don’t deny it!  

With respect to them as a couple, it just got old. “Edmund, I love you. I don’t care if you can’t walk. Please. I love you. Where’s your commitment?”

”Maria, leave me alone. I’m a pitiful excuse for an invalid and I can’t even begin to think about sex with you because your breasts are huge and I may be smothered because I’m unable to move quick enough to get out of the way when you throw yourself on me. We will NOT have sex damn it! No! No! No!”  

Give me a flipping break. Any guy, whether he can move his legs or not would be all over that woman whether he loved her or despised her. Men can’t say no to a woman who’s built like and looks like that. ‘Nuf said.  

I realize there are people out there who once thought Babe was annoying and obnoxious, myself being one of them, but I’m starting to actually enjoy her these days. I like that she stood up to Lucky, I mean JR and handcuffed herself to him. I liked that she’s apologized over and over to Jamie (who I happen to think is the HOTTEST guy on day time tv! Shh! I know he’s like, what? 12? So what! I can’t help myself. It’s my fantasy, leave me alone!) They’ve toned down her character, dressed her better and if you can put aside that baby-stealing issue, she’s not so bad.

Her mother, of course is a whole different story entirely.

Let’s just throw another woman in the picture to entertain Tad. That’s Krystal. And that’s her identity. She professes to be such a great mama and all but come on! All of a sudden great mama supports the baby-stealing deal, offers up a new proud papa for her baby girl, blows up the car of a rich and powerful mans son, whose house she happens to live in? Give her some consistency or get rid of her.  

Oh and cover up that woman. I can’t stand it much longer!  

We shouldn’t think she’s long for the wonderful world of Tad because she recently said those three words. That being said, she’s outta there!  

I love David. David is yummy. This may be sick, but I love David with Greenlee. So they’re sort of related. Heck, Greenlee is sort of related to everyone on the show now. That there’s called job security.  She’s the new Kelly Ripa of daytime! The girl is goin’ places! I’d just like to see Greenlee go some place with David. They’re not BIOLOGICALLY related so it really has no ‘ew’ factor.  

Just a thought.  

Okay, so I’ve rambled on again about mindless, unimportant stuff. But hey, that’s okay. I feel better. I hope your reading this babble has made you feel a bit better too!

Have a great week!  

PS: I’ve decided not to spell check and/or edit this column. I want to see how many errors I can find once it’s posted. If you find any, please feel free to email me and let me know! I’m trying to give up some of my anal-retentiveness!

 

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