Beautiful People 

There is a new show on the Family Channel called Beautiful People.  I watched the first episode and was surprised that the people on the show weren't exactly spectacular.  What was even stranger to me was the two rich and supposed most beautiful were actually quite un-beautiful in appearance and ugly in personality.  After that first episode I decided this was a show I did not need to be watching and it also got me thinking. 

I am tired of the emphasis that society has put on being beautiful.  Beauty is not even about being pretty, it is also about the package.  Beauty is judged by what you weigh, what you wear and the length of your hair.  Everyone knows that the skinny girls with the long hair are the ones the men want.  Think Kelly Monaco and Vanessa Marcil.  I could not imagine any guy turning away, but if they cut their hair!  Just recall the scandal when Felicity's star Keri Russell sheared her super long curly locks. 

I think of celebrities like Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, the Olsen twins, Sarah Jessica Parker (and this is my view and my opinion) who don't have the classic facial beauty,  but who are still considered icons because of their hair and weight. 

Once upon a time I had always been in really good shape.  I always thought I was fat, but in reality I was not only slim, but I was toned and curved.  Today curves are bad.  Now at this point and 30 lbs later, I would gladly be what I was when I thought I was fat. 

The irony is that not only am I 30 lbs heavier, I am now about 5 years older and strangely, when left to my own devices, I don't feel that I look so bad.  It is only when I watch TV or read magazines or hear the disgust of people when I lay out my number that I start feeling bad and want to starve. 

But I like to eat.  I like junk food and real food and large portions and fried foods.  I am not unhealthy, albeit I do need to amp up the fitness level a bit.  I think that if societies view as a whole changed and that my size became the norm, I would no longer even think about dieting.  I'd be fat and happy.  Seriously though, as long as I don't look in a mirror or at a photograph, I FEEL like I look good. 

I am a glutton for punishment and I love to read gossip magazines and check out photos of the stars and it seems worse than ever.  Once curvy actresses are fading away to nothing and these are the standards that young girls are placing on themselves.  It is scary and it frightens me and I blame the media and I blame the actors who are not brave enough to set a new example.  Ask anyone and they will say that Lindsay Lohan looked better before she started to fade away, but she sure didn't get half the attention she gets now. 

I believe our young girls are reading these articles on anorexia and bulimia not to learn the health risks but really to learn how to do it.  They want to look like their idols and their idols are stick figures. 

It is even happening now among the older generations.  The women of Desperate Housewives seem to be in competition to see who can get smaller faster. 

Back to me.  I know I am not ugly, but I also know I got way more attention when I was 30 lbs smaller.  And how is this for being my own biggest hypocrite?  I recently met a very nice guy and I won't go out with him because he weighs less than I do.  It just seems so wrong. 

Is this going to stop me from eating the French toast I just ordered?  Definitely not.  I can always diet again tomorrow. 

Do I still believe I would be happier if I was thinner?  Not so much, but I do believe I'd be happier if I could go to the beach with a bunch of friends who are built like me in bikinis rather than all of my 100 pound friends who make me feel HUGE when I am next to them! 

What I do know is society needs a change and we all might need to re-assess our definition of beauty.