Darlings!!! 

It is with great and eager anticipation that I have been reading the recaps, interviews and accounts from those who attended the GH Fan Club Weekend last week.  Not being a crowd kind of person myself, I shun such congested, hormonally heated events, so it is a special treat for me to read detailed descriptions of what other people experienced there.

If you have not yet looked into the EOS gals' info on the events, they are here.  More will be added over the next week, so we have a lot to anticipate from these wonderful ladies!

I have to say that I have been disappointed to find some rather snotty, negative columns about the events of that weekend on other sites.  (I lowered my tone of voice/typing when I said "other sites").  It seems like some people want to just bash and attack rather than enjoying the good things about an event.  The way I see it (and granted, I haven't been to this particular event before and have only heard descriptions of it from people I love and trust), these people work their asses off for months before the events trying to put forth the best package possible for the people who want to attend.  It's got to suck to come home and collapse after putting out that much effort and read people bitching about every little thing that flew up into their grill.  It's like Christmas shopping for a few months, wrapping everything with care, running out for a last minute battery jaunt, dropping into bed around 3am after meeting up with Santa Claus and tying one on with him, getting up at 6:30 am with the kids on Christmas morning, only to have the kids rip open the presents and bitch that you didn't get the right version of Playstation 2 or "Is that ALL???" or "Why didn't you get _____?" or "I said I wanted _____!".   There are always bratty ungrateful kids mixed in with the ones who are appreciative and happy.  The bratty ones are just inevitably louder.

For everyone who says, "Thank you, I had a good time," there is someone else who is bitching about not getting a $3 Soaps In Depth magazine or because Rick Hearst lost track, skipped their table and didn't get back to it as fast as they wanted or because they didn't get as good of a seat as last year.  I guess some people forget that even if you pay money to get into an event, it's not always about you.  It's not always your turn to be right up front.  It's not always personal.  Sometimes you have to share.  Sometimes you have to pretend as though other people are as important as you are.  Sometimes you have to work up the sheer class to address complaints you have in private rather than raking out and attacking in public the individuals who work hard to bring these events to life.  You think it's easy?  Try nailing jello to the wall and you'll know how hard it is to make everything happen the way it's supposed to for a major production like these parties. 

Show some kindness, already, you thankless asses! (And if you are not a thankless ass, then this does not apply to you)  It doesn't matter how "connected" a columnist is, how "professional" they claim to be or what their extensive pedigreed background or resume looks like, all credibility is lost when you use your position as an online presence to malign and aggressively condemn your hosts at such an event.  I can understand mentioning situations that were disappointing or frustrating amid an otherwise balanced account, but writing a column that is specifically set up to convey your ire for the presenters of an undertaking of this magnitude is just absolutely shameful.

On top of that, I have actually had people writing to me bitching that the fan club presidents *gasp* make money at what they do.  So what?  For one thing, it's nobody's business!  For another thing, these people work all year long to be a good liaison between fans and the stars and that time and effort doesn't come cheaply!  I hope they make a killing representing the actors!  I know if we had a way to make money for what we do just on Eye on Soaps, we'd be jumping at it and bedamned the ones who bitch and complain!  Like the waitress who brings your food to you while you sit on your ass at the table, have the courtesy, the humanity to smile, say thank you and not blame her if the cook screwed up the hollandaise sauce! 

*Damnable haters, grumble, mumble, grumble.*  Always out to put somebody's jimmies on the chopping block if everything in their creepy little world isn't perfect.

And that's all I've got to say about that.  *Sage deftly hops off the soapbox.*

AMC

What can I say about this show that is even worth reading?  Likely, not much.  As I was watching Ryan watch his wife being tortured by the belief he was dead and she was a widow twice over before turning 30, voyeuristically lurking on closed circuit TV, it was hard not to feel tremendous disdain for the Crowned Prince of Pine Valley.  So I didn't bother trying not to hate him.  How anyone could finagle that situation around in his head to make it into a blessing for Greenlee, I can't imagine, but clearly, some writer somewhere has disconnected a vital brain wave or 12.  In fact, when he was watching with bug-eyed machismo, his wife being comforted by Simone in today's episode, the only caption that came to mind for the mental screencap I took was Ryan whispering, "God, I hope they dyke out."  A few minutes later, there was a changing of the guard and Kendall took over and still, the priceless look on his face was not sadness for the unreasonable and unnecessary pain he was causing his wife, not devastation that he'd never see his son or daughter grow up, but a wistful, "OK, I hope THEY dyke out."  Whether it is the hammy, over-the-top portrayal of this particular story by Cameron Mathison or really crappy writing or terrible direction or some unfortunate amalgam of the three, I'm just not feeling whatever it is they are wanting me to feel.  What I feel is my stomach turn and my bowels start to churn over this horrible, self-sanctimonious story line. 

Line of the Week goes to my current love interest, Aidan, who said, regarding Ryan, "Why does anybody want that bastard back?"  Couldn't have said it better myself, my little British Rose.

I do find that I enjoy the never-ending beach scene between Josh and Babe, simply because there is so much to work with there.  The attraction is almost tangible.  The writing is so campy that I can do the Mystery Science Theater 3000 thing on it for the whole hour.  One of the best moments came with today's discussion of stuffing life down your pants.  I was waiting breathlessly for Josh to inform Babe that he had some life down his pants and all she had to do was reach in and grab it.  Rack up another beach conquest for Babe!

I continue to like Di-Dixie even though I never liked Dixie.  There's something dangerous about this one that never came through on Dixie the First.  It's as though you never know for sure if she's on the level or the best con job ever.  I like the shakiness of it all.  Even Adam is now fully won over, which nearly guarantees it's a hoax.  I love it!

OLTL

You know, they keep saying that Cristian Vega is returning to turn Natalie's life upside down the first of September.  Wouldn't it be precious if HE were Hayes' mysterious partner in the Killing Club?  Maybe he went nuts from having to pretend to be someone else and losing his woman.  Maybe he blames John, as did Natalie in the beginning, for the events that transpired in Las Vegas and led to his life being put through a sausage grinder and is using The Killing Club as his vengeancemobile.  Maybe they are going to tear a page out of the Days of Our Lives script and have all of the Killing Club victims actually be alive, maybe members of the Killing Club themselves, staging their murders to indict the pretty people of the world.  Of everyone involved, John seemed to be the most persecuted by the murders, so it makes sense.  He could even justify the Natalie torture by saying she was never in any real danger (excepting that whole "burning at the stake" business)  and he was going to rush in like a hero and save her.

Even better...

He could doctor some normally nondescript area to look like heaven and convince her that she's dead and he's the real Cris, who is also dead.  He's an artist, I'll bet he could heaven-up some nice school gymnasium that the Killing Club uses to practice their cheerleader/jock torture.  He could then hire some homeless guy to pretend to be God, who gives them a second chance and returns them to "life" by opening up the gym door onto floodlights.  Boy, Natalie would sure be glad to be alive.  (I'm so completely Jack Handy.  I love me.)

Instead of my grand plan, we've got Hayes Barber doing his best Eugene Levy impersonation and all but braying "Bwahahahahahahaha" after delivery of his every line to Marcie. Zzzzzzzzz.  Someone wake me when Psycho Camp is over.

Although there is absolutely no physical resemblance at all, I keep looking at Spencer Truman and thinking of Dr Drake Ramoray (Joey Tribiani's alter ego).  He has the "smell a fart" look down pat.

I loved how Kelly used Kevin for sex today.  Heh heh heh.  I miss Gina Tognoni.  *moment of silence*

David with his shirt off.  'twas a happy OLTL week even if everything else on the show kinda sucked.

GH

I mean seriously!  What are the chances!  Of all of the psychologists in the Port Charles phone book, Sam and Jason just happen to pick the one who actually did kill AJ to provide therapy to Michael.  Not only did he kill AJ, but evidently was also in some kind of bizarre plot to kill off Jason when he was in his coma all those years ago.  Remind me to never have them pick out my proctologist, OK?

Yet another GH character from the past, albeit recent past, is vilified in absentia.  Now we are to believe that AJ, after causing the accident that nearly killed and did brain damage his little brother, conspired to have him killed.  Um, OK.  (who thinks this shit up, anyway?)  Are we also to believe that Alan and Monica knew about it?   How weird can this possibly get?

Although it's only a rumor, something that is kicking around is that the seemingly abrupt (supposedly upcoming) demise of Emily and Nikolas is a reflection of the seemingly abrupt (supposedly recent) demise of Natalie and Tyler. 

Regardless, there is the whiff of an odd couple shuffle in the making.  Nikolas and Courtney lock lips and it's Jason and Courtney in the rain all over again, with both of them certain it meant nothing.  Jax continues to obsess on Elizabeth and "their" baby, certain it's nothing more than that.  Emily continues to gravitate toward Sonny and his family, certain it's nothing more than and aunt-ish interest where Michael is concerned.  Lucky continues to be completely assed out, certain that it's nothing more than more of the same...

Do you ever wonder how many times Mac is going to forbid a young teen woman in his care from seeing __________ (insert name of Port Charles resident bad boy) and figure it's actually going to work?  There is no greater teen aphrodisiac than the words, "I FORBID you..."

Farewell, Rachel... we hardly knew ye.