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By Katrina Rasbold
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It was quite a year for ABC soaps as we wondered (for about 5 minutes) who killed Michael Cambias, who killed Keri Reynolds and we're still wondering who killed Ida. From triumphant returns to horrific recasts, 2003 was a year of visceral ups and downs. Fans walked away, ratings fell and actors both veteran and newcomer were shed like tears from a mother's eyes. It's easy to focus on just the good or just the bad, but when you consider the year as a whole, you'll find that there were a lot of fun memories intertwined with the mess that was the Year in ABC Soaps. Stroll with me, darlin... First, the review of the best and worst of Head of ABC Daytime, Brian Frons:
Best of Brian Frons was that he did away with the gaudy and annoying "Shop the Soaps" that was the brainchild of ex-Prez of ABC Daytime, Angela Shapiro. There were only 2 worsts of Brian Frons this year: Everything he said and everything he did (except scrapping Shop the Soaps) The grandpa of ABC soaps pulled more boners this year than than a British page three girl. Every time he opened his mouth, he offended fans, offended actors, offended his species and was an embarrassment to his network. The guy should be issued a directive from Disney, "DO NOT SPEAK." Now, on to:
Best Newcomers: Trevor St John as Walker, (Never thought I'd say this) Michael Easton as John McBain and Tim Adams as Ron Walsh. Best Return: Robin Strasser as Dorian Lord Hayes tied with Tuc Watkins as David Vickers. Susan Battan as Luna Moody Holden gets a place as runner up. Best Je ne sais quoi: Dorian saying "Bahdra" and naming her house whatever French name that was that didn't stick in my head and that I'm too lazy at the moment to look up. So dock me for professionalism. I'll survive. Best Transformation of a Character: Al Holden from an oafish, doofish who refused to stop chasing after Jenn Rappaport's steaming skirt to a wonderful romantic lead that I actually enjoyed. Sorry I scoffed at the drug withdrawal scene, Al. Now, however, the process has started to have him on my "eh" list again for his refusal to "do it right" in winning Marcie over to Michael. LISTEN to Luna and Little Gabrielle, dude! Runner up is Carlotta Vega who turned into a shrew I really, really, really can't stand and now hate to see on screen. Best Kept Secret: Walker is really Todd. They kept us guessing for a while (although the way he barged into Viki's house through the patio doors without being invited and poured himself a drink (when Viki only vaguely knew there was a Walker Laurence) sealed the deal for me. Runner up is Al/Nathanial Marsten as Voice of the Night. The studio even went so far as to release a fake name in the credits for "The Voice." Funniest Scene: I have to offer up the above scene where Walker burst into Llanfair and poured himself a drink. It literally made me laugh out loud. Runner up is Roxy and Nigel playing dress up and later, as Sonny & Cher for "I Got You, Babe" at Ultraviolet. I've got to say, Ilene Kristen and Peter Bartholomew are willing to just go for it. Best Tear Jerker: Al's death and particularly, watching Gabrielle's grief... very real and moving. runner up is the package of gifts found from Cris... who evidently is the only man in America who Christmas shops and wraps the gifts six months in advance. Best Running Joke: Roxy's butchering of the language is hilarious. Runners up include Nigel being hypnotized into being in love with Roxy, followed by Asa singing show tunes to try and un-hypnotize the NOT hypnotized Nigel and Renee. Best Drama: Dorian, Natalie and Jessica on the docks with Mitch (the time he fell into the water and presumably died). In fact, just about any scene with Mitch was "Best Drama:" Mitch setting his own brother on fire, Mitch terrorizing Natalie, Mitch seducing Natalie, Mitch being blinded by the rust remover, Mitch telling Viki that he's Jessica's father, Mitch furious behind the prison plexiglass as he realizes that Walker has just stolen his entire fortune... with HIS help! Just "All Things Mitch" would be sufficient. Honorable mention goes to Dorian and Viki in the plane crash/cave in story. Best Team: David and Dorian Best Couple: Marcie and Al Best Recurring Character: Addie Cramer Best Irony: That after all of this, Victor Lord isn't even dead. NOW we presume the guy is finally dead. Best Kiss: Any of the many shared by Troy and Lindsey, no matter what the circumstances. Damn. Runner up would be RJ and Liz. Yowzer. Best Advice: Andrew to Joey, "Stay away from Jennifer!" Best Moment of Clarity (Later Lost): Jessica realizing, "Hmm, I think Antonio is dangerous!" Best Moment of Clarity (Retained Thus Far): Max realizing, "Hmm, maybe I should spend some time with my children." Runner up is Joey thinking, "Hmm. Maybe my wife is a floozy" and leaving her. Hope he can still take pictures! Biggest Jackass: Kevin, who still wants everyone's woman except his own and refuses to even consider it when Viki wisely points it out. Jackass. Biggest Flop of a Story: Natalie is a pool shark and all that ensued with Flynn, etc. This is followed closely by: Keri isn't really dead, she's alive in Canada, no wait, she's not dead, she's just crazy, no wait, OK, now she's dead. *whew* Biggest Mystery: Is it the mystery of the Music Box Killer Whodunit? Nope. As far as I'm concerned, it's whether or not there really was a letter from Victor to Victoria where he admitted his wrongs and apologized. Did Dorian just make it up? Smoothest Cuckold: Reverend Joe's rowdy crotch that just would not stay away from Jenn Rappaport, capped by her husband, Rex, walking in on them in bed. Closest Call: (?!) Thinking for a split second that Mitch had actually killed Addie. Almost made me want to go spoiler free for a minute there. Why God Why?: The Aunt Betsy story, Babe and (what the hell is his name?) Paul's endless stupid crossovers (now I call them "crossevers" because they seem to go on forever and ever) and Kelly finding Jesus. HUH?: Rae is now respected and (by her own admission the other day) a psychologist... why? How? Should I be afraid to get therapy now? Coldest Move: Victor Lord being willing to sacrifice the life of his granddaughter in order to live. ("I want your heart!") Worst Recast: Tracey Melchoir as Kelly Cramer Buchanan followed oh so closely by Bruce Michael Hall as Joey Buchanan and right on the heels of that is Bree Williamson as Jessica Buchanan. Will someone please get the casting on the Buchanans right?? Character We Could Most Do Without: Jennifer Rappaport. The Very, Very Missed:
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