May 20, 2003 Oh, what a week in Port Charles! I feel that I should first make a confession before I allow you, the innocent reader, to continue. You know that I always have your fashion interest at heart and would never steer you into loving some rabid trend like legwarmers (oh, I just bet they’ll be back...my niece is 12 and hooked on the Care Bears. As I recall, my Care Bear love went hand in hand with my 4th grade penchant for legwarmers. The eighties are totally tubular ;). Anyway, my confession is that I love Skye’s latest wardrobe twist.
I don’t think Ned likes it much. (But I think he likes Skye!! ;) Kathy Hardeman’s On the Soap Box column mentions this outfit and she didn’t like it at all. We had a lengthy discussion about it on my favorite message board, the Sage Brush Ranch, and a few of my friends there were pretty horrified by it as well, so I’m figuring I’m seriously in the minority here…lol. This is the outfit that I’ve been waiting for Skye to wear… I say bring her on as the cosmopolitan lady who lunches! Skye could be the Carrie Bradshaw of GH – hey, maybe she could write a column in the Port Charles newspaper! Heck – she could start a newspaper in Port Charles…let’s just give this woman a storyline because I love Skye notQuartermaine! She’s getting all cuddly with Baby Kristina, she’s trying to get Jax to make babies, she’s matching her lapel flowers to Ned’s button downs…it’s clear that her biological clock is ticking away, so what does Skye do? She dresses the part! I can see Skye shopping www.MarcJacobs.com and trying to decide which dress matched exactly her idea of “mother”. I don’t mind that she’s not always the winner (just sorta wish she’d stop looking pathetic in front of Jax…) and I could even get on board with her having a real love story with Ned, based on their babylove at first, then after Alexis gets her kid back, it should be based on the fact that Ned is a good man for our gorgeous young redhead. And then Brooke Lynn can be Skye’s stepdaughter. And she can come home to learn the difference between cashmere and lycra (Sorry Lois ;). So if you haven’t figured it out, I have a complete agenda to see more Robin Christopher performances, more haute couture (even if it does remind you of Mary Poppins – smile) and an actual life for at least one non-blond woman on the show. Alexis and Elizabeth are becoming lost causes. So what does everyone think of Alexis’ little dress up routine? My husband is threatening to quit watching and suggests that the only way they can keep him is to kill off Alexis now – she’s too crazy to redeem...lol. I’m just sort of embarrassed for her, I think. Like when your best friend wears a skirt that’s waaay too short or something (I’m so cracking up picturing Kathy Hardeman following the short skirt Hoochie from last week in the mall….LOL!), you just know that Alexis should NOT be doing this. Anyway, the disguise is pretty good – it’s a nice wig and I’m especially giggly over the teeth. Cameron is being a bit of a jerk and I wish that they’d just let these two hash it out in more than 2 scenes per week and we could see her being anything but totally whacked. I’ve been saying it all along – but they really do need to go shopping…Alexis could at least prove herself competent as a style maven and hook boyfriend up with something less reminiscent of my dad getting dressed up to go to the American Legion. No offense to my dad, but he stood me up for Legion Bingo on Saturday night, and I was looking forward to having a few $2 Toasted Almonds… he’s completely deserving of at least one barb over the perpetual t-shirt under the button-down plaids. ;) Keeping it in Monica’s house, how in the world did Dillon Quartermaine become my sudden favorite character? Is the kid that good of an actor or am I just loving the slow way that his character is unfolding? His story is being told but not forced. If Edward calls him “Mutt” one more time, I might have to say something. Dillon reminds me of early Jason Morgan, without the blank stares. Proving how fickle we all can be, my husband says that Dillon’s just the kind of guy that might keep him around a while. If they at least let Alexis be really, really evil and not just plumb crazy… I adore Georgie too. I always feel really bad for her though because her arms are always crossed over her tummy, like she’s incredibly self-conscious about wearing those hipster pants and snug sweaters. Maybe it’s just part of her characterization or maybe the actress feels not so comfy in that wardrobe. Either way, it kinda tugs at my heartstrings and endears me to Georgie. Maxie is a mess and the writers really need to do a little more from the parental angle. Okay, so Mac is jacking Jason up against the wall and all, but hello? Can you say “I will completely kick your Maximum ass if I catch you outside of this house again, young lady???” Does anyone else wonder if the strategically placed Tonka trucks on the shelves in Sonny’s penthouse are always in the same place? They are! When Sonny and Carly are kissing and talking about how he must make sure she eats correctly and how he must follow up with the doctor to make sure she’s really ok (can you say freaky control issues? I might have bitten off his hand if my husband would have tried this all nutritional food business that Sonny thinks is requisite for pregnant women…sheesh), I am monitoring those toys. My house is constantly seeing the decorative shift of Batman, SpiderMan and the Ninja Turtles. They move room to room, from upstairs to downstairs, and they often take precarious perch on suspiciously high surfaces. I find myself most anxious for a Sonny scene where he is playing trucks with Michael and they carefully place one to see how long it will take Mommy (or Leticia) to notice that there is a truck on the shelf going up the stairs. I type this as a tiny plastic Sponge Bob stares at me from atop the candleholder on the computer desk. Men… So, didja watch the Daytime Emmy Awards? I am blessed with SoapNet and was chomping at the bit to see the pre-show. However, my plans were foiled by a 4 year old watching his first “sca-wee” movie, The Deadly Mantis (it was very not sca-wee…don’t worry – I’m not that irresponsible a mom ;). I finally got him to bed as the broadcast began and don’t you know he was up and down out of bed so many times that I missed quite a bit of the first hour or so. Were you cracking up when the played the Godfather music for Tamara Braun and Alicia Leigh Willis? Both with beautiful tans, polished skin and subdued makeup, our favorite mafia princesses give us a healthy dose of what it is to wish they all could be California girls. Both of these gowns are gorgeous I especially love Alicia’s, with the lace panel sides. Tamara’s hair was sleek, yet casual and Alicia apparently forgot to do anything to her hair and went with the ‘I’ve been trying to clean the house for two hours and the kids keep trying to wrestle me instead’ look. Count me among the non Gen-X’rs who simply do not get the half done chunk of hair with an evening gown thang.
Roll the dice! Nancy Lee Grahn looked great in white top and black bottom (I think they were trousers). That blouse just screams Rene Russo/Diane Lane appeal and I could just stomp my feet when I see Alexis constantly being played as irrational when she could do so much with sophisticated and sexy. Anyway, Nancy was fabulous and I loved that she was holding her daughter Kate in the audience; she seemed so well behaved and positively gorgeous just like momma. Proving she can pull off just about anything, Robin Christopher wore really dark eyeliner. I never did get a good look at her dress since I missed her presenting (grrr), but her hair and makeup looked spectacular. The All Star Band was entertaining, if only to see which of the singing soapsters can actually do it. Eden Riegel sounded good and her scarlet dress was a perfect choice – if you are a brunette, you know how good you look in red. Kassie DePaiva dared to wear a front slit up to absolute there and Eva LaRue wore a confectionary white ruffled mess that looked like she should have had little wallet size pictures made with a guy who was a few inches too short. Yikes! She’s not getting my worst dressed honors though, because I was nearly heartbroken at the site of my beautiful NuJessica in this flowered horror.
What is that and who designed it? More importantly, WHY? Poor Bree Williamson was clearly taken hostage by some crazed stylist who mangled that beautiful haircut with a heck of a lot of hairspray and told her that gown was cute. Maybe next year, Bree. I still think you’re the cutest thing ever, but YIKES! And you’re looking at that Antonio sammich and thinking that Sheri Saum is wearing a pretty wild ensemble too, aren’t ya? I think it’s dazzling! And if you have that skin and that hair and that bod, you could wear it and look that completely exotic and sexy too. The entire combination of skin, hair and bod now folks, because no one but no one else is getting away with it if they try… I’m not saying a word about that Jen/Joey combination. Oh, but I do like his red tie. Rrowwl. On the vampy side of town, Erin Hershey went for pastel posies on the top of her gown and I thought it totally worked for her. Much like Keri above, you probably need the total Alison package (you know, bubbly, wholesome and blond!) to do it, but Erin pulled it off with flourish. Joy Bisco (Marisa/Casey) also chose wisely. With her South Pacific Island good looks, a simple bright turquoise shift looked positively lovely. It was nice to see her without all her tough guy accessories and freaky streaks. That was a gorgeous dress on Kelly Monaco – it’s a shame she, and it were upstaged by her breasts.
Best dressed gal? Vanessa Marcil! She looked incredible! Who’d a thunk it? ;) I LOVE THAT GOWN!! The men have it so easy at award shows. Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man, right? A tuxedo just guarantees instant swoon and most of the fellas didn’t disappoint. Ingo Rademacher grew a goatee and looked really relaxed and rested. I watched Pretty Woman the other night and had completely inspirational thoughts about Jax as the corporate raider…I wonder why they brought a hooker (Summer) on the show and didn’t think about really pursuing that avenue for her? I mean, they like to model movies, right? Anyway, between Ingo and Chad Brannon with a white shirt and tie, I was in hunk heaven. I know Sage…it is rude to wear sunglasses inside, but can’t we just excuse Jax this one little teeny indiscretion? I did say most of the fellas though, didn’t I? That Ronn Moss character from the Bold and the Beautiful (which I’ve never watched once, so pardon moi if he’s the bestest, most yummy thing ever or something) is almost scary! He wore a poncho at the SOD Awards and an ascot to the Emmys. YIKES! And I wasn’t going to say it. I’m not going to say it. Alright I’m gonna say it– Kathy Hardeman e-mailed me and said that I had to say something about Kiko Ellsworth… and all I can say is (besides his outfit being a complete and utter travesty and I’m sure his mom or grandma or someone somewhere who feels a responsibility toward what this otherwise handsome male is wearing on television is just cringing in horror, still)…oh my gosh dude, step away from the bong! YIKES!
Jamal, Jamal, Jamal… So, why don’tcha e-mail me and tell me what you’ve been thinking about the crimes of fashion in our favorite fictional town?? Love to hear from you!
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