Is It REALLY Just ME or
Are You TOO Tired For Sex Too?

An off topic poll

Created by Carolyn Aspenson

Okay, here’s the deal. My husband and I have this continuing argument about sex. Sound familiar? Hopefully! He INSISTS that I am the only stay at home mom (and when I worked, the only working mom) in my mid-to-late 30’s with three kids, a dog, a cat and a husband who travels, in the least, one night and two days a week, while also happening  to be rather anal retentive and likes to keep her house borderline immaculate, who is just too plum tired out for sex. Not that I don’t want to have it, but I just don’t want to every night. Oh, and also, on those occasions that I do, I’m the only woman (as described above) who doesn’t want an all-nighter, with multiple intercourse go’rounds. He INSISTS that there are married women out there in my same situation, or something similar, who are total SEX GODDESSES and will give it up any where, any place and any time. WHO ARE THESE POWERHOUSE WOMEN AND HOW DO I BECOME ONE?

I am not talking to any of you SWNC women (single with no children). Nothing personal, but you don’t count. You can’t possibly relate to what I’m saying. As a matter of fact, for your own good, stop reading this right now. If you don’t, you might just discover what married life is truly all about and stay single forever! Then what will become of your genetic line? Don’t do it! Don’t read the rest of this and don’t see what the results of the survey are!  

I’m talking to those women who either:

  1. Stay at home with a kid or two, or three, or four who aren’t in school, demand play time with their mothers constantly, while she attempts to keep a clean house, do laundry, pay bills, perhaps do something she likes because she enjoys it, talks to her mother on the phone, grocery shops (don’t even get me started on that one!) attempts to eat something healthy, not the crap she finally feeds her kids because she’s tired of their complaining and whining and begging, ventures out to the park, pool or even, God forbid, WALMART for either fun or errands, prepares dinner, walks the dog, changes the cat litter, works on crafts with the kids, irons her husbands clothes for his trip, tries to take a shower or pee without being disturbed more than 24 times, surfs the web for updates on soaps because she doesn’t get to watch them since Dora The Explorer is on at the same time and by the time SoapNet has them she’s either asleep or arguing with her husband about not having sex enough or, simply FAKING that she is asleep so she doesn’t have to have sex with her husband or she’s actually having sex with her husband hoping he’ll hurry up so she CAN go to sleep! OR…
  2. Stay at home with a kid or two, or three or four who some are in school during the year and are now home for the summer and she’s trying to do all of the above while also dealing with the hoards of kids coming in and out of her house, the whines and moans of the older kids who want to be entertained because their XBox, GameBoy Advanced, DVD player, MP3 Player, Trampoline, New Roller Blades, New Bike or WHATEVER they just HAD to have or their life would absolutely END is already BORING and they have NOTHING to do and if they could just go to the mall and shop with her money their life would be perfect and they wouldn’t complain at all all summer long they promise, the woman who would love to watch her soaps at some point in her life for just even a minute but can’t because her kids are all fighting over the TVs in the house and her husband wouldn’t agree to getting them their own TVs because when he was a kid he didn’t have one, he played outside all day and these kids should be outside more so send them out and make them play, the woman who sneaks a peek at the internet in the late evening when her kids have finally crashed because she can’t get on it during the day because whoever isn’t hoarding the TV is hoarding the computer, surfing the internet trying to convince her/his mom how badly they need that whachamacallit on Best Buy.com, who then falls into bed at some pathetically ridiculous time where she then either is asleep or arguing with her husband about not having sex enough or, simply FAKING that she is asleep so she doesn’t have to have sex with her husband or she’s actually having sex with her husband hoping he’ll hurry up so she CAN go to sleep! OR…
  3. A working mother who has five stupid, useless meetings every day about stuff she could really care less, endless paperwork, emails, telephone calls to make and return, reports to write, goals to meet, mail to send, letters to write, gossip to spread or listen to about people at work who, lets face it, wouldn’t be her friends if she didn’t work there, errands to run at lunch, dinners to make when she rushes home, kids to transport to various activities, while cramming in all of the whines and moans of the kids for that day and dealing with each and every single thing a stay at home mother does but just condensed into a mere two to four hours after 5pm, who then falls into bed at some pathetically ridiculous time where she then either is asleep or arguing with her husband about not having sex enough or, simply FAKING that she is asleep so she doesn’t have to have sex with her husband or she’s actually having sex with her husband hoping he’ll hurry up so she CAN go to sleep!

So if you ARE one of these women, please, please help me and help yourselves…answer the following questions, HONESTLY and then maybe, just maybe, our husbands will be convinced that it’s true…it’s not just ME, (or you), that we ARE interested in having sex (okay, so we’re interested, but just not as often as we used to be!) that we are just simply too darn tired and frankly, sleep is much more appealing, more often than not!  

Yes, I will be showing the results, and what I’ve written, to my husband. I hope you will do the same!

Here we go!

A paraphrase of Sally to Harry in “When Harry Met Sally”

“Women fake orgasm, you’ve been with many women, you do the math.” 


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