Hello everyone and welcome to this week's edition of "Inside the Actors Studio."  I am your host, James Lipton.  This week, we will be speaking with the cast of an oft criticized but deeply loved show, "One Life to Live." 

Those who are familiar with our show know that we spend the first two-thirds of our time reminiscing with our guest about the various twists and turns of life that brought them to this time we now share.  Since many of you are already well familiar with the rocky road this show has traveled and those who are not really don't much give a shit, we're going to just skip that part.

The last part of our show involves questions from the audience, but we're going to skip that as well.  Between the walk down memory lane and the questions, comes the most interesting segment of our interview, which is the Benard Pivot Questionnaire, which originated on the French show, "Bouillon de Culture."  Since our viewers are only really interested in one of the questions, we'll limited ourselves to that for the sake of brevity, that question being, "What is your favorite curse word?"  Considering that swearing doesn't usually make it past Standards and Practices on ABC, this should be a particularly delicious undertaking.

And with that, please welcome the cast of ONE LIFE TO LIVE!  (The crowd goes wild, cast comes onto the stage, waving affectionately to the studio audience, smiling, blowing kisses, then having a seat on the dais, which has just enough chairs.  Lipton gently coaxes each into sharing their favorite curse word, then passing the microphone lovingly from one to the next).  Bear in mind, that for many of these characters, this will be the first time they have been afforded the freedom of speaking aloud their favorite curse word:

Natalie Vega - Prick. 

Asa Buchanan - Bullshit

Rae Cummings - Pissy.  As in "She's a pissy little thing." or "He has a pissy attitude."

Antonio Vega - Hijo de la gran puta
Son of a great whore
Blair Cramer - Shit.

Renee Divine - Sonofabitch

Kevin Buchanan - Goddammit

Joey Buchanan - For the love of God.

Lindsay Rappaport - Fuselage

Gabrielle Medina - That's not a swear word.

Lindsay Rappaport - Yes it is.

Gabrielle Medina - It is not, it's part of an airplane.

Lindsay Rappaport - It's all in how you say it.  When I say it, it's dirty.

Gabrielle Medina -  For Chrissake.

Roxanne Balsom - Friggin.

Rex Balsom - Fuck.

Al Holden - Shit the bed, Fred

Jennifer Buchanan - Cocksucker

Hank Gannon - Prick (spoken as if it's a two syllable word)

Victoria Lord Carpenter - Cunt, with emphasis on the 't'

Walker Laurence - Primateassfucker

RJ Gannon - Motherfucker

Dorian Lord Hayes - I quite like Baisodrome
A very busy French orgy
Jessica Buchanan - Piss off, eh?

Bo Buchanan - For fuck's sake.

Sarah Roberts/Flash - Asshole.

Marcie Walsh - Schitzels and beer.

Carlotta Vega - Hijo de mil putas
Son of a thousand whores.
Nigel Bartholomew Smythe - Bugger off or naff off

Kelly Cramer Buchanan - Ass reaming fuckface whoremongering prick

Note for those who tend to miss the obvious:  This is a joke.  I am not in any way suggesting that the actors who play these characters have said these things.  I also do not wish to imply that these words have ever been used on the show, at least not on the air.  I simply sent my imagination off to play to try to envision and enaudiate what words I could hear coming from our beloved characters lips and see their lovely mouths forming most easily.     (Psst:  On the foreign swearing, the translation is below the entry.  Just highlight the blank below it and you'll see what it means)

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