"Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat."
~ Johann Sebastian Bach ~(1685-1750)

Sept 6, 2005

So I'm emailing with Katrina and talking about some soap things and she says, "Myra, why aren't you writing this in a column and I say, "Because I don't have writing time, you know that," and she says, "But you're writing it to me now, what's the diff?" and I say, "I dunno, I've been gone for what, a year and a half?" and she says, "Yeah, but I've still got Cwoffee Time in the chute and we can heat it up and serve it espresso, you know" and I'm thinking, "Why not?" 

So here I am, back in my old, albeit previously temporary, digs at EOS.  I never stopped reading the completely marvelous writers here, but real life and real work and real mind-bending, time-whoring, soul-sucking, heart-tromping events stole me away from what's really importing, which is dishing on the soaps.  I may not be able to update as often as I'd like, but I'll be around from time to time to have a cuppa and share my ideas, for whatever they are worth.

I stopped watching GH a long while back, sometime after the cataclysmic event, such as it was.  In case you are trying to remember which event was particularly cataclysmic, it was the hotel fire back when Nikolas collapsed with the burning roof and Sam was trotting back and forth between Sonny and Jax without so much as a Burger King Napkin Clean Up in between.  I know a lot has gone on since then and I am honored to have missed it.

Which brings us around to talking about the doings in Pine Valley.

AMC

I have rechristened the town as "Whore Valley," now that it seems everyone, male and female, is whoring themselves one way of another.  Kendall is whoring her body out to the same woman who ripped the fake pregnant belly off of her in open court, humiliating her and exposing Bianca as the real pregnant person.  (No irony lost there)  Talk about a little girl with a major self-esteem issue, I am personally appalled that Kendall would even give Greenlee the time of day, much less a little womb service.  Babe is whoring herself for her baby, presumably, but something tells me she loves cozying up to JR.  Are they EVER going to fully justify exactly why she whored herself to Jamie as soon as she came to town when she was married to JR?  Oh yes, we were supposed to have forgotten that as soon as she turned on the quivering chin and doe eyes. 

Krystal is whoring herself to a man she detests (like mother, like daughter?) to bring Dixie/Di down for reasons I still do not quite understand.  It is her business... why?  David knows something, but isn't telling.  Del is a berserker who has all of the puzzle pieces and was kind enough to share them with us. 

Ryan and Eric and Jonathan make quite the little Waltons family, but I don't think they'll be yelling "Goodnight" to each other across the farmhouse until Johnny has his toomah removed and gets his brain back to LaveryNormal, which often has very little to do with what the rest of us consider to be okey dokey.  I was breathless as Jonathan held his thumb to the bicycle handgrip that was destined to blow all three of them to crispy little Lavery bits.  Waiting...  waiting... c'mon now... damn.

Amanda is a whore now.  Who knew?

Tad is whoring to the woman he thinks he is Dixie, but seeing Tad whoring to anyone who isn't Krystal makes me pleased.

I'm glad Simone is getting to whore with Ethan.  She needs to be a rich whore instead of just a twinkie in the city.

Poor Danielle surely did blow up her life in more ways than one by whoring her virginity out to handsome Lambchop (I mean Josh).  Are we EVER going to get to the story that is inevitable about how Josh is really Erica's son, either from the abortion she had or eggs harvested during a particularly invasive pap smear or whatever?  I want to see more of Big Daddy Greg!

Jamie is whoring out to Amanda to get his Aunt Phoebe's money.  One could say that it was because of what Babe did (by pretending to whore), until one considers that Jamie fairly broke his neck getting to JR to get the money once he dumped Babe.

Ha!  I love it.  Zach "Do me, Myra, do me NOW" Slayter just said, "Laveries, the paragon of mental health."  I knew I loved that man.

Julia - just as annoying as before and where is Anita, the only Santos I can tolerate?  Sure, sure, maternity leave, but is anyone going to acknowledge that she's M.I.A.?  Sam is the one who is going to champion Julia through fighting the Dragon?  Isn't he something like ten?  Is Petey going to be Erica's next husband now? 

Speaking of Erica, is her show already off the air? I haven't seen any New Beginnings yet (or whatever it was called).

Know Noah, Know Lust... No Noah, No Lust...  Oh Fiddlesticks.

Maria - Thank God and Greyhound you're gone.

Aidan - Make me some tea, baby.

Are we completely sure Edmund is dead?  Good.

Does anyone besides Simone actually work at Fusion?

I checked the Megan's Law website and there is someone there who looks a lot like Garrett.  Hinthint.  What a sleeze!

And now, life calls me back again.  It was a joy to kibitz with you but for now, talk amonst yourselves until I return.

See you next time!