Comments through June 13, 2003
(A spoiler a day, keeps the questions at bay.) 

Do you believe in the good old days?  Not a sentimental type, I don’t put much stock in good old days.  Good memories should be savored and bad memories made peace with.  Both kinds exist in whatever time of life in which I happen to be traveling.  I’m sharing that piece of personal philosophy so when you read the following you’ll know that I am not necessarily criticizing (maybe a tad in a couple places) what I see on GH today, just appreciating what I liked a few years ago.  This week I had one of those ready for bed, want to sleep but can’t, nights.  So, I slipped an old GH tape in the VCR and let it roll.  Some like ocean waves or sounds of rain; I relax with old GH tapes.  Characters I know following insane but predictably soapy paths, speaking in familiar tones soon lull me into a relaxed state.  It’s like reminiscing with a close friend.  Aaaah, remember when?   

Remember When… 

Jason wore slacks and shirts that fit?

Katherine Bell and Lucy Coe argued over the Nurse’s Ball?

Mike had a place in Sonny’s life that included conversations and arguments?

Emily and Jason visited and talked?

Chloe designed gowns and laughed at the Q’s antics?

Bobbi had a storyline with Jerry Jax?

Luke and Felicia were friends and funny?

Mac and Taggert conducted themselves like police officers.  They didn’t solve crimes but they acted like they were going to at any moment.

Ned smiled, adored Alexis and flashed his dimples looking like he was having fun?

V?  I so enjoyed her not glamorous, not sex crazed personality.

Laura made us hurt with her palpable grief over losing realLucky?

Leslie Lu existed as an actual child?

Carly was always workin’ a plan?

Johnny guarded Sonny’s door on a regular basis?

Older pics courtesy of the GH Historical Society

Emily was changing from girl to girlfriend?

Jason had conversations with people other than Sonny and Courtney?

Luke was sad but rational?

Sonny and Carly clashed because they couldn’t stand each other? 

Wow!  And that was only one hour of one tape.  Oh yeah, I remember what hooked me on General Hospital.  Do you?  I’d like to make a Remember When list for next week of GH memories that still make you sigh and smile when you pause to wave at nostalgia.  Since many of you smart people latched onto the GH bandwagon before I did, you can remember great moments, characters or plot events that I haven’t seen.  C’mon, tell me what’s floatin’ around in your happy memory boat.   

Tuesday was GH Go To Bed Day.  Carly awoke in her hospital bed to find psycho Ric gazing at her.  Sleeping with Emily, Nik opened his eyes to look around the room sensing Lydia’s eyes upon him.  Emily woke up to throw up and then climbed back in bed with Nik for comfort.  She awoke in the morning with a perfect coat of lip gloss and I want to know how that’s done because I can’t seem to master the all night lip gloss trick.  Luke finally went comatose which was a relief considering the games he was playing with that big knife.  An odd Tuesday, as characters spoke their lines horizontally and no sex anywhere. 

Hugs, cuddles and restraints, no kisses 

Pinball anyone?  That would be Luke bumping and careening his way about town weaving and threatening others with a 12-inch knife.  Bump!  Luke first kissed and then threatened Summer and Lucky before declaring his ability to take care of Laura and leaving the room.  Lucky, ever the dutiful, loving son, rushed to Summer for kisses and hugs and I’m yelling, “Hello?  Lucky?  Your Dad just left Kelly’s wielding a big knife.  Don’t you think you should go after him?”  Lucky must’ve heard me because finally the thought occurred to him that perhaps he should find his Dad.  Bam!  Luke called Dr. Cam from his office to share drinks and request Dr. Cam’s medical pull to help him find Laura.  Luke has good reason to suspect Stefan of foul play from experience.  He told Cameron, “If you don’t know him (Stefan) just picture Dracula crossed with a rodent.”  Too funny!  When Dr. Cam wouldn’t cooperate, (when has he ever) Luke pulled out his knife again and held it to Dr. Cam’s throat.  Luckily, Luke found a pinch of sense and went out the door collapsing in a heap of unconscious crazy man.  Here’s the dilemma.  Luke’s a guy who skips to his own drummer even when the drummer doesn’t play by the rules.  He’s a free spirit with an attitude.  Cameron and Lucky can understand Luke, even admire him, but they can’t responsibly let him loose in society.  And since Anthony Geary’s vacation is looming, Luke’s life will spiral into more craziness until he exits.

Luke could act with chipsticks, but he does really well with a knife. 

“Hip, Hip, Hooray,

It’s great to be gay.” 

Watch out!  Dobson came out of the closet and Edward didn’t even catch it.  A lot passed by Edward such as a huge carpetbag containing Alexis’ attorney clothes stashed behind a plant at the P.C. Grill and the fact that Dobson can’t hold his liquor.  At least Dobson/Alexis was able to address Judge Farmer’s impropriety in calling Skye (huh?) to set a meeting regarding Kristina’s custody.  Can we say pay off?  Bribe?  Campaign contribution?  Each time I see Edward gloating and plotting regarding Kristina, I feel anticipation.  Someday Edward you’re due for an ugly comeuppance when you get smacked with the knowledge you’re doting on a Cassadine/Corinthos offspring and not a Cassadine/Q heir.  Oh, what a delicious day that will be!

Chug-a-lug, Dobbs 

Thank you Mac for noticing the charge on your credit card for a room at the Port Charles Hotel.  Not that Georgie faced any dire consequences or even had to answer Mac’s questions, but at least the subject was aired.  They were interrupted by Dillon’s arrest for using A.J.’s Hummer to uproot parking meters.

Georgie ducks Mac’s questions while Dillon makes a fashion statement. 

The thought of A.J. in a Hummer cracks me up - a guy with pyro and power issues driving around in a tough car.  I keep battery cables, an extra quart of oil and some water in the back of my car.  What do you suppose A.J. keeps in his?  (Now that’s a poll question if I ever heard one.) 

Georgie is one hardheaded, one-track chick.  If a boy tells you twice, nicely, that he only wants to be friends and that he feels more for your sister, don’t you think the message should sink in?  Nope, Georgie thinks she has a chance with Lucas and blames the prom fiasco on Dillon.  He ruined her night by forcing her to witness Lucas and Maxie kissing.  Of course, Lucas took no responsibility for the kiss.  He told Georgie, “I came in looking for that party you told me about.  Maxie was there.”  “Oh, and then your lips just got vacuum sucked to her face, is that it?” Georgie asked, showing one second of sense before reverting to heartbroken hard head.  Lucas said, “I was there to be with you.  But Maxie mauled me when I got upstairs.”  That must’ve happened on another episode because the show I saw didn’t include any mauling.  More like mutually consenting suck face. 

Lucas patronizes Georgie, while Dillon offers to play spoon.

Maxie attempts to explain to Georgie about boys and their urges. 

Why was Courtney going to hop on a plane and fly to London?  I didn’t see any splint indicating that her index finger was broken and she couldn’t pick up the telephone and call! 

When Jason’s arrested he’s always yanking and fighting against the handcuffs.  One time, I’d like to see him unlock the cuffs with a paperclip or a lock kit hidden in his belt buckle.  He could stand or sit there like nothing’s different and flummox the cops when they inevitably have to release him for the usual lack of evidence.  As he walks out, they could realize the cuffs weren’t even locked. 

Mac explained to Scotty that the bad guys are badder than the DA.

Scotty tells Jason, “I’m gonna get you.”  Jason says, “I doubt it, Bud.  You’re leaving for the vamp side of Port Charles soon.”   

Didn’t you love Scotty’s frustration at being bested in his own arena?  He was preening and patting himself on the back for bagging Sonny’s golden goon when the drugs disappeared from the evidence room.  Ya gotta love the MOB style slap in the face of a power show under the noses of the PCPD. 

Where were the freaked out just-saw-a-ghost reactions to Alcazar?  I wanted screaming, jumping, backing up to a wall, but I didn’t see any of that.  He’s walking around and the only ones who showed any reaction (and they were in the background) were Mac and the police officers standing near him when Alcazar walked into the PCPD.  Sigh.  What a missed opportunity for drama. 

At least Mac and his officers remembered this guy was dead. 

I am pretty sure that the poster advertising Liz’s upcoming art show was her “Painting the Wind” picture that she painted during her freedom days with Jason.

How do you suppose Ric and Liz paint the wind? 

It bites when you drug your wife, leave to kidnap a woman so you can hold her hostage until her baby is born and another icy, evil character shows up and stages a rescue of your wife so you’ll owe him and messes up your plan.  It’s tough in the life of the mentally deranged.  Definitely, it’s frightening and creepy (I can think of several adjectives).  Carly came out of her drugged haze to find herself trapped in Ric’s evil gaze.  I’ve only felt powerless and lack of autonomy a few times and they are terrible feelings.  I found myself clutching my elbows and holding my breath at Carly’s appropriate terror.  In her mind, Ric is her rapist so it’s not like she can think, “Oh well, this is Sonny’s brother going off the deep end again.”  Next week, I know I’ll be rooting for Carly to take the upper hand.  I read in ABC Soaps In Depth this week that Maurice Benard commented on Ric’s behavior saying, “He needs an a** whippin’.”  I totally agree.  Bring it on Sonny, the whuppin’ and some commitment papers; cause brother or not, Ric’s a head case and a half.

Mobster helps bad guy’s wife.  Bad guy steals other mobster’s wife.  Got it? 

Faith must be out of town.  Otherwise, Ric never could have pulled off Carly’s church snatch because she’d have seen events unfold from her place behind a bush.  Bet she’s gonna be mad that she missed all the action.  Wouldn’t it be cool if Faith’s obsession switched to Alcazar?  She could chase him like a hungry tiger and he could respond with controlled passion, which would drive her crazy.  Money and power rolled up in a handsome package, which is probably like whip cream and a cherry on top of her sundae for Faith.  A GHH2 spoiler clues us that Ric sets up Faith to be arrested for attempted murder (her favorite crime) but I’m thinkin’ orange jumpsuit isn’t her best color so jail won’t last long.   

Already, I am feeling sorry for Elizabeth.  She has issues with people leaving her or treating her like she’s unimportant.  Lucky left physically, came back, and then emotionally dumped her by sleeping with her sister.  Her family left her a long time ago.  Jason didn’t leave; he just didn’t share any big MOB secrets.  Liz asked Ric, “Promise me you’re telling the truth.”  Umm, Liz?  If he’s lying to you already, the promise isn’t going to make a difference.  It appears inevitable that Ric’s gonna go too.  Like in a straight jacket maybe as his mental instability becomes apparent.  I’m really curious to see if she’ll stand by Ric because she’s important to him and he needs her, or will scruples override her feelings because of the hideous crimes Ric commits?  

“Promise you’re telling the truth, Ric.  Cross your heart and hope to die?”

I promise, I’m telling the truth, Liz.  Stick a needle in my eye.”

PFFT! 

Alcazar called Liz to leave an ominous message for Ric.  Quick acting Liz immediately grabbed her purse and ran out to find her errant husband.  And because they communicate through ESP or radar, or antennae she knew to go straight to Carly’s hospital room.  Or perhaps Liz stepped out onto her front porch, heard Carly’s screeching and followed the noise to Carly’s room in General Hospital.  Either way, Liz arrived before any of the hospital staff could respond to a hysterical pregnant woman yelling at the top of her lungs.

Carly makes a scary face that frightens Liz and Ric out of her room. 

Who’da thought that Carly would be a good mom?  I like the dynamics between Carly and Michael.  Not that she’s perfect, she tends to forget he exists whenever Sonny has a problem or an owie, but I like her in mom mode.  Michael dropped Courtney’s ring and Carly dropped down to the floor and crawled around in her purple gown to help him look.  “Thanks for not getting mad,” Michael said.  “We lose things, we find things.  Life goes on.” Carly answered like a good mom, ominously predicting her immediate future. 

Good Dynamics vs. Bad Vibes

Bad Vibes win the first round. 

Wasn’t the scene between Sonny and Courtney in the church nice?  I think that’s the first time they’ve said I love you to each other.  I also liked that all the proper players attended including Mike, Janine, the Q’s (without A.J.), and Emily.  I’d like to write a gushing paragraph about the almost nuptials, but the wedding came across as background music for Ric’s insane Sonny-owes-me-a-baby plan.  Jason made my toes curl in his tux and Courtney looked beautiful in her designer wedding dress.  Way too much happy floating around for an actual wedding, which is why Ric had to sneak in and jinx the event by traumatizing Michael and kidnapping Carly.

Everybody say, “Aaaaah.”

Now everybody say, “Oooooh.”

How much happy can we stand? 

Sonny scolds Janine for showing up in such an ugly dress.

Janine protests, “But Sonny, this is a one day gig, and wardrobe made me wear it.”

Mike looks her up and down and says, “Really bad choice, Babe.” 

The pull between Emily and Nicholas is growing on me.  I’d be tempted to root for them except, darn it!, I want Emily and Zander to reunite and experience a few days of bliss.  All I am asking for is a week or so before the next murder charge, beating, bus accident or medical crisis. 

I tried to pay attention to the scene but I kept getting distracted

Because Nik’s clothes were color coordinated with the walls, furniture and bedspread. 

Spoilers say that Stefan is so threatened by Emily and Nicholas’ engagement that he plans a redux of the fiancé-falls-from-the-parapet-at-her-engagement-party plot twist.  I have to wonder what the writers are thinking.  If they were laughing saying, “Oh we have to loosen a railing.  It’s Stefan after all.” I’ll fly with the storyline.  But if it’s presented like a grand idea that they just made up for the third time, I’m going to make fun of them every week until they raise their storytelling standards. 

One spoiler tells, “The long anticipated kiss between Gia and Zander happens.”  Are a lot of you holding your breath for this kiss?  ‘Cause I’ve been focused on Zander, Emily and Nicholas and kissing between Gia and Zander hasn’t received a fleeting consideration in my thought processes.

Gia checks out Zander’s lips, considering the possibilities.  

And finally, a GHH2 spoiler says that Ric becomes “so fed up with Carly’s resistance, he decides to just drop her off at her Doctor to be rid of her.”  Are you laughing too?  Carly’s mouth and fighting attitude so stresses Ric that he’s willing to dump her and his plan to steal her baby just to be rid of her.  Not that it’ll happen that way with Alcazar lurking about, but the premise sounds good.  One spoiler also says that Ric convinces Liz that she’s hearing things.  Is Carly yelling so loudly that she can be heard through the sound proof walls of the panic room?   

Photos by Jim Warren http://jimwarren.tv/

GH – Home of Hunks of all ages.

I know there are a few missing but I had to take what was available.  

A couple months ago, I ran out of tolerance with J.C. Penney.  One day I counted from the last segment of OLTL through GH and J.C. Penney aired their “Where is your Mother?” commercial six times.  SIX TIMES!  By the sixth time I wanted to reach into my screen, snatch the spoon away from the temper tantrum kid and whack his Dad over the head, who sits there with a disgusted, can’t be bothered look on his face.  Hard!  “Where is yoourrrr, Mother?”  “She’s at the J.C. Penney One Day Only Sale,” replies a cheerful voice.  Out of stubbornness, I would not shop a One Day Only Sale because they abusively ram the weekly sale down my throat.  And I told them so when I e-mailed to complain about the number of times we were being forced to endure the same couple of commercials within an hour’s time.  The J.C. Penney Customer Brush Off Department e-mailed an answer apologizing for the offensive content of the commercial.  I promptly replied suggesting they GET A CLUE, it wasn’t the content of the commercial, it was the number of times they were shoving it in my face.  Shortly after my finger stomping (foot stomping, while satisfying, is ineffective through e-mail) I read a ‘net rumor that said J.C. Penney was pulling its ads from GH.  I figured it was my fault because of my e-mail and if GH lost sponsorship by J.C. Penney other sponsors would follow, and I’d lose my show (I know, rampant egomania).  However, like a good little egomaniac, I kept my fingers to myself and J.C.P. continued to advertise using different ads.  But finally, like a bear testing the temperature coming out of hibernation, “Where is your Mother” showed up again.  Whoever made that commercial thinks it’s the zip in zippity do da.

Well, the gloves are off.  Last week being PMS week, I felt a need to let my fingers go stomp again.  First on my list was Herbal Essence Shampoo.  If I was standing in line at Wal-Mart and the lady in front of me was buying that shampoo, I’d be wondering if she’s going home to shower, shampoo and orgasm.  Next in line was Colgate Herbal Toothpaste, which advertises using buzz words like “herbal” and “natural”, a cartoon beaver, and a dumb woman talking to Mr. Beaver.  I’m shakin’ my head.  What marketing genius made that up and who at Colgate reviewed the concept and said, “Hmm, toothpaste, woman hiker a few granola bars short of a full backpack and a cartoon beaver.  Yeah, let’s run with that.”  The last e-mail went to Oil of Olay for their Total Effects skin care products.  Great stuff but I was full of sour grapes since one little tube costs more than my monthly water bill.  I’ll admit to a healthy dose of vanity, so it would be nice to use this product.  But if I bought the daily cream, night cream and wrinkle reducer, I’d be beautiful, wrinkle free and living out of my car.  Ain’t gonna happen.  Both Colgate and Clairol sent a response from a real person, which I appreciated.  Oil of Olay hasn’t offered the time of day, perhaps deeming me beneath their lofty notice since I complained about their pricyness. 

I don’t want GH to lose sponsorship but advertisers have a responsibility to entertain and/or inform and not patronize and/or annoy.  At the very least, I should not feel an urge to make myself throw up.  I’ve worked out my advertising angst for the month, but I plan to keep it mind as therapy should I need to vent.  Have a great week and feel free to talk back to your TV screen.  I won’t tell.  

Now isn’t THAT a scary thought.

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/

Photo credit for this week:  http://groups.msn.com/GHWorld3

I love this GH site!

A zebra’s gotta do what a zebra’s gotta do to make it through life. 

This pic was e-mailed to me so I have no photo credit.

I will happily post a credit if I learn to whom the picture belongs.