November 29, 2001


I got an interesting letter from a reader this week.  Since I don’t normally get enough AMC letters to justify a Mailbag, I wanted to share this one with you.  I really enjoyed it.  She had proposed in a previous letter that Vanessa might actually be Proteus: 

“Once I realized that Roger was just a peon/pawn, I knew it wasn't him. David's secret is obviously that he is developing some sort of heart problem cure. Chris' character is just not well thought out. I am getting bored with him, but I don't think he is Proteus. I thought for a minute that it was Edmund, but then they made it kind of moot because they are pairing him with Brooke.  He [John Callahan and his wife, Eva LaRue, are expecting a child soon] is also about to have another mouth to feed, so he is probably not too quick to want to leave a steady gig. I thought from the spoilers that JR might be involved, because he is still a good suspect for the young Sweeney killing, but after yesterday's episode, I doubt it. Finally, the spoilers keep saying that Palmer & Vanessa are going to have a big story. Well she must be Proteus and then Palmer will also get jealous of Tom Wopat's character and in the end he and Opal will be  together again. I know you didn't watch back then, but they are a trip together. 

Anyway back to my fave. I am looking forward to Haley going back to her PI roots and getting Mateo to fess up. I wonder how Simone will turn out to be related to PV. She has some back story that we do not yet know. I bet she is related to Palmer somehow. Basically this story arc bores me but not as bad as some. Leo & Greens don't do it for me anymore. I hope she gets  back with Jake. As far as I'm concerned the only person David has had chemistry with is Erica. She and Chris seem flat together. David is better off on his own with some trysts every so often. I am sorry we are going to have to endure the Erica thinks Bianca did it and vice versa murder trial story. Ugh! I hope it moves fast. The Bianca/Erica mom-daughter relationship scenes are fabulous. Eden is great. I like Mia and I hope they concentrate on her relationship with Liza. Also would love to see more Stuart & Marion. His flashback to Scott made me cry (again, as I did when it first aired) Anyway, seems to be lots of potential for new story, but I am sure we will get some tired old stuff too (Jack is the DA again and will have to prosecute Erica--blah!) At least this show moves a bit faster than the others.” 

I do so love having a website and talking with all of you about our soaps.  It’s fun to chat up the ABC soap vets who remember the old scenes that I watched, but it’s equally as fun to get the fresh perspectives of the newcomers.  Thanks for a great year, everyone!   

I am perfectly willing to confess that right now, I have no clue who Proteus is and very little inclination to care.  My thoughts had actually gone to Leo.  Where DID he get that money to start paying back Brooke? 

Vanilla, Rocky Road or Freakin’ Cherry Garcia, who cares?  All I could think about was, “Greenlee, get that wild animal off your neck before it starts to bite and claw!”  I can’t believe she let Leo off the hook so easily.  You have to know that I’d have him begging in the halls for a few weeks before I opened my lovin arms and legs to welcome him back, much less accepting a marriage proposal.  He’d have months of expensive, heartfelt courtship to go through before he got any kind of long term commitment outta me!  I’m still holding out hope for her to give up Leo for Jake.  White hot passion is great, but in the long term, dedication, loyalty and true friendship wins out.  (Plus, Greens didn’t seem to be complaining too much about his lovin’s)  This girl needs some serious Dr Phil therapy. 

Binaca thinks Erica killed Frankie who thinks that Bianca killed her but maybe JR killed her or the same person who killed Sweeney the Younger?  Zzzzzz.  The only interesting thing about this story is wondering which of the cookie cutter standard story templates they’ll use on this one.  Erica goes to trial to protect Bianca?  JR knows something but can’t tell anyone because they’ll know he was where he wasn’t supposed to be?  Giving up his special purpose to someone he doesn’t even know?   Blech. 

Oh, don’t get me started on the latest JR.  Listen, I’m all for SORAS and know it sometimes has to happen, but for the love of God, do it when the kid is at camp and try to keep it down to a few years span.  We get baby JR one day, looking like he should be delivering my paper by flinging it into the hedges or onto the roof, then the next day, we get a JR who has blown right through pubescence, has to shave and looks like a college frat boy.  I don’t mind pretending I don’t see giant pregnant bellies and bloated pregnant faces.  I don’t even care if Laura can talk to herself out loud 24/7 about her dastardly deeds (in public places) with no one ever hearing her.  But this casting stretches the imagination even more than believing that Rosa isn’t closer to menopause than training bras.  I have a friend who is equally as weirded out that when we saw Frankie’s body, she was on her stomach, but the blood trickling from her mouth was parallel to the floor.  Gravity-defying blood does not amuse those of us who are already stinging from JR aging 15 years in 23 hours. 

What I DO love about this story is how Chris whipped out his lawyer’s credentials on the fly.  It makes me wonder what will happen if she has a severe asthma attack (step aside!  I’m a doctor) or a clogged drain (Plumber Chris is on duty) or needs a pap smear (Dr Stamp at your cervix!).  This guy is a jack of all trades!  Let's hope he's a master of some.

Speaking of Jack, he certainly found the time to dig his boys out of Erica’s purse and bite into this job as DA with all 32 teeth.  It’s going to be a hoot to watch him have to prosecute Erica for Frankie’s murder.   

Ego?  Did someone mention ego?  Sure, Mateo, you idiot, Proteus’ computer password is mateosantos.  I have sprained retinas from rolling my eyes.  Good for Hayley for not buying the seduction of Eartha Kitt, Jr OR his stupid excuses.  She also gets points for doing exactly as Mateo said when he said it.  The marriage went up a notch in my opinion, but Mateo is still an idiot as far as I can see.  GO HAYLEY!! 

Love the commercial for gourmet coffee where the French broad trashes out the kitchen trying to find the coffee. 

I must, must, must have that new Pink Floyd CD, Echoes.  God, I hope Santa is listening.



At last Nora remembers!  Any chance she remembers it all?  Call me hokey (go on, do it now on faith before I say what I’m going to say, trust me), but I’d really have liked to have seen Nora return to the courtroom she was in when she lost her memories and argue her case, then see Lindsay get carted away.  I swear, no creativity. 

Thank God they didn’t dragggg out the revelation that Keri is RJ’s daughter over the next year.  What a position for a (law?) professor to be in:  between the DA and the town criminal, guess who’s daddy?  Even better, we finally got a decent story for these brilliant actors!! 

Cassie’s coming back, any hope Andrew might get a shot as well? 

I’m now even more upset that Clint is nowhere to be found having heard Jessica says, “Yes, he COULD come to Llanview.”  No Joey, Kevin, Cord or Clint for Asa’s memorial service?  That is just wrong.   RECAST!!  IMMEDIATELY!! 

Someone definitely needs to let Alex know that black heels with a black catsuit is so passé.  The happening cat burglar always wears little canvas deck shoes for the silent treatment.  Silly woman. 

Ooops!  Big no-no.  There is no way in hell a woman who just had a baby a month ago and is as vain as Blair would wear hip-huggers and a tummy-baring shirt.  Just wouldn’t happen. 

My heart broke for Buck today.  Somebody buy him another kid.  “The Buck stops here.”  The writing for this story just keeps cracking me up.  Can that Todd pitch a fit or what?  Loved the authentic drool.  :)~   How OLTL, Roger Howarth, Tuc Watkins and Christpher Murney can make me love a story about a baby being stolen from his mother who thinks he’s dead is beyond me.  I’m just enjoying the ride.  Please tell me someone loaned Todd a car seat for that baby when he took him out of the jail.   

**Psst...Todd...Blame it on David Vickers, that CHILD THIEF!!"



Moment of silence. 

I am devastated that the finest man to touch GH soil has jumped ship.  Of course, that’s Stephen Nichols.  Who can blame him?  It’s obvious that the current regime has no plans to write for his character and he was so dismayed by that when we saw him in July.  I’m glad he has other offers, but I will miss my favorite bat muchly!  Black armbands at the ready. 

After seeing how he is handling the Helena Cassadine case, I take back what I said before.  Convicted felon and assassination attempter Roy DiLucca will make a much better police commissioner than Mac.  I stand corrected. 

These arguments between Monica and Alan about Skye have now extended well beyond ludicrous.  Sure, Skye has been caustic, but Monica hated her from the moment she met her because she knew she was the product of a relationship between Rae and Alan before she met Alan.  On that, it seems, this whole pile of hostility is based.  Sure, Skye bankrolled Emily’s runaway, but that was really just more ammunition for Monica to attack Skye rather than the core reason.  The writers really blew it big time when they had Alan contrast Skye to JASON  of all people.  D-A-W-N, say it with me Alan!  Monica never bothered to tell Alan that she had a daughter who was put up for adoption.  She brought her newly found daughter to live in the mansion.  This was brought up exactly ONCE a few weeks after Skye showed up, then glossed over and never mentioned again.  Lila?  Someone?  Can we give them a history lesson please?   

I’m totally disappointed with how one note Skye has become.  She was reduced to a similar fate on OLTL and now all she does is pout to Alan and chase Jax around.  No depth, no texture, no story…wait, she’s a Quartermaine.  I forgot it goes with the territory with our current writers.  That still doesn’t explain why she is dressed like trailer trash today. 

On the subject of dressing, Carly’s current ensem reminds me of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark for two very good reasons.  Ahem. 

Loved the line, “Shoes have got to go, but you’ve got a nice butt.”  J 

Love Scott and Bobbie together.  Please give them a story.  Please let the Karma Police force Bobbie to put him back together again after Laura’s unceremonious dumping of him.  After the grief she caused Laura and Scott when they were dating, she owes. 

Next, I want to talk to the people out there who are freaking out because Sonny has gone to Puerto Rico with Alexis and the divorce papers are signed.  Last time, I gave you the big assurances of an ending you’ll LOVE and told you to RELAX and enjoy the story.  Now for this week’s installment in Sonny-Carly therapy: 

Let’s go down a path that I seldom go and act like this is NOT a soap for a while.  Pretend it’s real.  Pretend it’s you.  Now, I’ve already assured you that Sonny and Carly are going to be together at the end of this, so let that fear go for a bit and ride this train with me.  You know that the future YOU want for the couple is assured, so just drop all of your arguments and pretenses and “I want’s” play the damned game for a minute.  To Sonny’s mind, he wants Carly badly and she has shown a new strength that he finds intoxicating.  On one hand, he knows that she has betrayed him in a big way and he isn’t sure how to reconcile that.  He just knows he wants her back.  He isn’t even completely sure why, he just does.  She has established a distance between them and he is fighting to honor that, but truly is drawn to her.  He sees Alexis as his best friend.  He also sees that Alexis has just been through major trauma and is coiled up tighter than a Slinky.  He cares deeply about Alexis as a friend and as the only woman who has never betrayed him in some way.  To get away from Carly for a while (leaving her under the watchful eye of Zander and giving her a chance to miss him, heh heh heh) and to let Alexis unwind, he takes her to PR on this labor dispute thing.  Not only does he want her to be able to relax, he also wants to have some fun himself and get some down time, which he can SAFELY do with Alexis since they are only friends.  He is still in total denial about her crush on him because he’s so distracted by the intensity of what’s going on with Carly and the divorce and the adoption.  To him, she’s his bud and he’s ready to play for a while.  Who can blame the guy? 

NOW, for all of you small-hearted people who hate Alexis for having a crush on Sonny (you guys need a serious UnGrinching), consider her position.  Crrrreeeeaaaakkkkk.  I know you can pry open your mind and think about what I’m saying for a bit.  Alexis spent almost a year living with Jax.  Jax was her friend.  He sleeps naked, as we all (fantasize) know right in the next room.  He showers in their bathroom.  He walks around with no shirt on.  He cuddles her on the couch.  She and Ned end up having sex maybe 5-10 times tops between then and now, the last time being over a year ago if I remember correctly.  Not only has she been sex-starved, she’s been CUDDLE starved, which is even worse.  No one understands the need for physical, affectionate human contact like those who are not getting it (and I’ve been a not getter for long periods of time in my adult life).  So here’s Sonny who, out of friendship, is taking care of her.  He cares about what happens to her.  He sleeps in her house with his shirt open.   He lives right across the hall.    He leans in close to her when he talks to her, in that voice so soft and lilting.  She can probably tell what flavor of gum he’s chewing…that’s how close he is.  When he talks to her, she can feel the heat of his body.  He smiles a lot around her and those dimples are constantly in view.  Would you really not wonder if he has dimples in his butt cheeks?  You know you would.  You know that he wears really, really nice cologne, just the perfect amount, so that when he leans to say something to her, she can catch a wafting scent of cologne and…mmmm…him.   

So tell me, TELL ME, that you wouldn’t have a crazy dream about kissing his face off under those circumstances!  Tell me it wouldn’t cross your mind to wonder if he’s really as good as he looks like he’d be.  As friends, relaxing in Puerto Rico, share a dance with a little liquor warming your belly and the rest of you.  Feel the warmth of his arms around you and his breath on your hair.  Breathe in the tropical air, listen to the soft music as you sway together, finding it hard to tell where his body ends and yours begins.  He readjusts his embrace of you ever so slightly and you end up even closer to him, with his cheek (dimple) resting lightly on yours.  He hums softly in your ear along with the music and his arm tightens a little more snugly around you.  He cradles your hand in his like it is something precious and fragile.  He says something softly that you miss and when you turn your head slightly to ask him what he said, he turns as well and… 


Now, I gotta get going.  I need some personal time.



November 21, 2001

"Deliciously happy? Wait a second, that must be me." 

It surrrre is.  I am absolutely thrilled with how the soaps have been going and of course, I’m going to have a little cloud in the middle of my silver linings, but what can I say?  I’m a glass-half-full kinda gal. 


I was glued to the set through Laura’s (not)wedding and was definitely not disappointed.  Admittedly, I shed no tears when I heard that Laura Allen has been let go from her role of Laura, so I was poised and ready for the undoing of her altar-ego (Get it?  Wedding?  Altar?  Ego?).  This character has grated on my nerves for a good long time and the revenge was most sweet.  I think the last time I thought favorably of her was her day in the park with Leo when we knew we were watching some flashbacks in the making.  After that day, every time a long, solid beep sounded or she grabbed her chest and wheezed, I was praying that Gillian’s heart was actually going to burst free from her chest and run out to find Ryan.   Phase two of Laura Meltdown is going to (hopefully) come when she gets into an unworkable situation, is unable to come up with a cover story fast enough and has one of her hysterical hissy fits, only to turn and see Brooke and the rest of her entourage gaping at her with their eyes bugging and their mouths opening and closing like cod fish.  “You dropped this.”  Edmund, I love you.  It’s too bad you’re the most likely candidate for a drug lord.  *sigh* 

On to the (not)groom.  Leo and Greenlee have had awesome scenes and wonderful energy, but I have to say that after the way Leo treated Greens, espousal defense or not, was so deplorable that I sincerely hope she finds that she really just wants to be with Jake.  He nailed it when he said that Leo didn’t even bother to change his shirt after dumping Laura before he jumped on Greenlee.  I liked how Jake made a point to slow Leo’s roll when Greenlee was trying to deal with the emergency surrounding her father.  Jake takes care of her and Greenlee adds some verve to Jake, so I have decided that I am all for the pairing.  The good news is that the way things have gone, Jake will know that Greenlee is with him by her choice and not just because she couldn’t have Leo or needed comfort sex after he hurt her yet again.  The bad news is that Leo tried to do right by Laura and now is going to be assed out.  Hey, you break it, you buy it, babe. 

My pal, Karen, and I were going over ideas for who might be Proteus.  We surmised that it is Edmund, not only because of the broad as a barn clues that it’s him, (hey, I’ll bite a red herring if necessary!) but also because Edmund is about as exciting as dirt right now and could use a story other than his relentless sniffing around Brooke.  (ew)  Aside from having determined it to be Edmund, we came up with these ideas. 

Roger is out because we’ve seen him on the phone to Proteus.  David is very obvious, but a good candidate.  Adam is far too occupied with Liza and Ryan, so is eliminated from the running, but I think he could do the voice without the distortion device.   Chris *could* be Proteus, but I really, really don’t want him to be because I don’t want him to (sniff) go away.  He is so choice to watch.  Palmer may be a war criminal, as Karen pointed out, but we don’t think he has the sack to be a drug lord.  Nah, it’s got to either be Edmund, David or someone we don’t know yet.  On the off chance that AMC is going totally obscure (or that even they do not know who Proteus is and want some ideas), I submit these candidates: 

Rosa:  After all, it would be simple for her to put that quarter pound of weed in her own purse and make a quick phone call.   She could be in alliance with Roger Smythe (who invented the “Sandra” story), her secret lover, and they could be getting even with Mateo for his insistence on playing the Padres Familias to her when he’s really just an over protective big brother.  It would be easy for her to slip those piggy banks around the house unnoticed. 

JR:  We all know he’s a little drug fiend AND Adam Chandler’s son.  The way he was wheeling and dealing when he was running with Sweeney, I’d say anything is possible.  He’s not been seen much and Dixie, Tad and Adam don’t ever seem to notice he’s not around, so he’s got a hoop of time on his hand to set up a drug cartel and intimidate Mateo (I think a lightening bug with a bad attitude could intimidate Mateo).   

Jesse:  Proteus does seem to be all knowing, all seeing and able to manifest and leave in a short amount of time.  Jesse has been saddled to Tad for so long, not to mention having to crack a whip on Gillian for a couple of months, that he could have some seriously pent up afterlife anger. 

Bianca:  I mean to tell you, that teacup is going to crack one day soon and it’s not going to be pretty.  Perhaps all of her negative emotions have channeled into one malevolent personality called “Proteus.” 

Phoebe:  Just needs a little on air time and will do anything to do it.  Ditto for Myrtle. 

Leo:  He had to know that the Laura English grant he’s been living off of would go dry the second he walked away from the altar.  You have to let a guy set up a Plan B for some income. 

Hector:  Mateo’s controlling father isn’t really dead after all.  He’s just a jerk. 

But my favorite of all is going to break the hearts of AMC purists: 

Robert Scorpio:  If GH is too stupid to bring this powerhouse back, maybe AMC can capitalize on their shortsightedness.  Faison would also be a great choice! 

Damn!  Dixie’s leaving just when they got her hair right and she stopped being so godawfully annoying! 

Whenever Hayley or Mateo calls their baby “Enzo,” I think they are saying “End Zone” and I’m not even a football fan.



I just finished watching the tape of OLTL Unforgettable Weddings that Tracey from “Tracey’s Transcripts” sent to me and I was bowled over by one indisputable fact.  OLTL used to really, really suck.  The tape showed first the double wedding of Renee and Asa and Cord and Tina.  Next was Jake and Meagan, then Blair and Todd, Bo and Nora and lastly, Lindsay and Bo.  Why Lindsay and Bo were considered unforgettable as a wedding, I can’t imagine when there were so many other great candidates.  How about Bo and Sarah where Sarah thought she was marrying someone else instead of her beloved Bo?  How about Luna and Max and their wonderful new age wedding with Marsha Mason as the cool High Priestess who performed the honors?  Maybe Patrick and Marty with Patrick taking a bullet as they walked back down the aisle?  How could they not include Asa and Alex’s Egyptian extravaganza?  Mel and Dorian’s ultra romantic impromptu wedding at The Banner?  Cassie and Kevin with Cassie terrorizing Nurse Barbara Graham from her wheelchair?  I could go on, but you get the idea that Bo and Lindsay were crackers and water compared to the banquet of other weddings that could have been shown.   

ANYway, the double wedding episode showed me how really, really bad it used to be.  Jake and Meagan’s wedding was confusing to me because I know I watched during this time, but I recognized only a handful of people from the opening credits.  I remembered a few of the scenes, but it was as though I had suddenly switched to NBC.  The acting was horrendously bad and the writing was even worse.  What was really interesting was how LITTLE Jessica, Kevin and Joey were.  Then came a feast for the eyes:  Blair and Todd, then Bo and Nora.  The Blair and Todd wedding was the same episode where Marty (who I actively despised) and Patrick got together and the writing, the intensity, the passion was incredible.  The whole episode was just flawless and wonderful.  *ah*  Dorian!  *bask*  The way she gently told “Joe” good-bye as he was leaving with Kelly was heartbreaking.  You could really see how much she adored him still.  Not to mention that it was, to me, the only “real” Joey, Nathan Fillian.  I think Don Jeffcoat is a wonderful actor, but for me, Joey and Nathan are synonymous.  The new show should be called “One Guy, A Girl and Joey Buchanan.”  Once again, I was bawling my eyes out when Patrick told of his girlfriend, Sibonne (or whatever) stumbling into the hotel room, stabbed all to hell.  “NOOOOOO!!” and his quest to avenge her death still moved me.  I remember the first time I saw Patrick when he ran into the pub in Inish Crag and planted a big tongue kiss on Marty.  I thought he was the most devastatingly handsome man I’d ever seen.  That’s not changed much.  I did have to listen to that “Brown Penny, Brown Penny” poem again and thought it was dumb this time as well (“Ahm looped in the loops of her hair”). 

Bo and Nora’s wedding was so priceless and not only made me sad that they are no longer together (No pizza?  No rock and roll?  I can guarantee you that Sam is not a swing dancer), but also reminded me of how my #2 favorite OLTL character of all time, Luna, got damned annoying toward the end.  Bo and Nora were the last bastion of hope in the OLTL glory years. 

Lindsay and Bo’s wedding showed how OLTL suffered under the ravages of Jill Farren Phelps’ reign of error.  Nora was a raging shrew who was determined to destroy Lindsay.  There were no couples together who had any business being together and romance was totally dead in favor of the desperate coupling of a 2am “Last Call for Alcohol” race for a partner.  

Fast Forward to now.  I have thoroughly enjoyed OLTL for the past two weeks and eagerly await the unfolding of more than one of the tales on the canvas. 

Of course, Asa is not dead.  I think we can all feel in our bones that this is an elaborate scheme put together by at the least, Asa and Nigel and at best, including Renee and Bo on the scheming.  I think Bo is a stretch, but it would not surprise me in the least if Asa pulled Renee in on a plan to undo Max and Gabrielle.  Bo would be helpful in the execution (no pun intended) of the plan if he’d go along with it.  He could handle the coroner and forensics work and help them to pull it off.  Line of the week has to go to Nora when Gabrielle said, “A wife should know more about her husband than his attorney” to which Nora quipped, “Yes, she should.”  The funeral with all the wives was just priceless, exactly as I imagined and the moment of Blair remembering “herself” as Mia Korpf marrying Asa was absolutely hilarious.   

Which brings us to the scenes between Todd and David Vickers, which were a joy to watch.  These two are absolute magic together and I’d love to nominate them for couple of the year (remind me of this when the Eye Awards come out next year).  The tongue scene was brilliantly done on all parts:  writing and acting.  I’m so grateful that we have a writing team that knows Todd and gets what he’s about, even if I don’t sometimes.   

The only blight on the screen was the mind-numbing story of Jen and Cris.  It’s like watching paint dry to see this cumbersome, loathsome story stumble around all over itself.  I was so looking forward to Charles Busch’s performance as Peg Barlow, but it really fell flat as far as I am concerned.  I mean, isn’t the whole point of being a drag queen that you actually look like a woman and not just a man in drag?  I know Busch does brilliant work and I’m stymied as to why Peg is so blah in looks and in manner.  What I hoped would pep up the story just dragged it further down. 

I really love the unfolding of Keri and Antonio’s romance in such a gentle, unrushed fashion.  Mind you, Antonio isn’t one of my favorite men on the show, but I like the story.  I’m eager to get to the guts of her learning that RJ is her father, but that too can take a gentle roll and still be good.   

I’m grateful that Nora finally came around to the idea of Troy’s magic miracle memory drug.  Bring on the past, baby.


Roller coaster, up and down and all over the place.  Like most of the world, I was abysmally disappointed in the lame-assed, wannabe Indiana Jones conclusion to the Spencer Cassadine feud.  I refuse to let the writers buy out on the last minute changes that were mandated by the September 11, tragedies.  That might excuse a less substantial story line, but certainly does not warrant the bad writing, bad directing and bad sets that will go down in GH history as its darkest hour.  A story that had been building for months and should have climaxed with a number of searing encounters between Stavros and Nikolas, Stavros and Laura, Stavros and Luke, Stavros and Alexis and Stavros and Stefan, stretched over at least a couple of weeks went out with a whimper, affording only a few minutes of contact with any of these combinations.  Biotoxins or none, there is no excuse for the rush job this potentially fine story was given.  It’s an insult to the actors involved that they were not allowed to play out the brilliant scenes that could have resulted. 

HOWEVER, I was deeply impressed by the scenes yesterday involving Luke, Stefan and Helena at the PC jail and later between Luke and Stefan.  I was reminded while watching those scenes that we are truly blessed with greatness on GH.  Kudos to the make-up (or lack therof) department for not having Hells glammed up in jail and to the writing team (obviously not McTavish, so I have to wonder if the dreaded Endgame farce and pathetic swipe at recognizing Luke and Laura’s anniversary was her last hurrah before ABC brought in a ghost writing team prior to her being run out of town on a rail) for the snappy dialogue between Stefan, Helena and Luke.  Me thinks me smells Patrick Mulcahey’s acerbic pen at work!  If only to dream.  Watching Stefan drink Luke’s backwash in that Scotch flask (and like it!) was fabulously rewarding and these two incredible actors lent such talent to the scene that it was hard to believe it wasn’t real.   

Do not, repeat, do NOT turn Kristina into another perfect woman like Melissa.  I will wretch and barf. 

I’m going to be very up front about something here and I need for both sides of the fence to bear with me on it.  I will be honest and say that I am not for a Sonny and Carly pairing.  People can say what they want about Tamara Braun coming into her own, getting her sea legs with the character, making it her own, blah, blah, blah and it might all be true, but Carly just doesn’t move me any more and with all the damage that they have rent on one another, Sonny and Carly don’t move me any more either.  I loved them in the beginning and no one was rooting louder than I was for them to get together after he abducted her from the Q’s mansion and got AJ to sign over his parental rights to Michael.  It was Sonny at his finest.  AJ was being brutal to Carly and Sonny saved her, not just out of obligation to Jason, but because Carly was having his child.  It was pure Sonny.  For all of his faults (I don’t have enough ram to list them and keep Word from shutting down on me), Bob Guza and Wendy Riche did know Sonny and understood what he was about.  This regime doesn’t have a clue.  You see, I don’t like screwed up, dysfunctional relationships (they are too familiar of my past) where two people continually compound the hurt they’ve piled on one another.  That is how I see Carly and Sonny right now and I don’t feel an urge to cheer for them.  

That being said, I want to clarify that I’m reluctant to see someone as jacked up as Alexis is involved with him either.  I totally understand where she’s coming from, however.  I doubt I could live across the hall from Sonny and especially not have him sleep on my couch and not go look at him for a while and think dem thoughts.  I thought the kiss was wicked hot and I’d like to see a little more of that, but I don’t like the idea of them having a relationship and all of the complications one would bring.  Here is a woman who not once, but TWICE has had a close relationship with a total hottie that she has to pull back from rather than jump on like an Alien face-hugger.  So those of you who think I’m not into Carly and Sonny together because I want Alexis and Sonny to set up housekeeping. 

That additionally being said, I want to soothe the savage beast that is growling with fear that Sonny and Carly will not reunite.  I’ve gotten hoards of letters from people terrified that because the divorce papers are signed, there will be no Sonny and Carly reunion.  Folks, you’ve got to take a breath, wash your face, get some fresh air and settle down.  It’s all part of the plan.  If Carly and Sonny rush back to one another now, they are going to be in a bad place and will have progressed not one iota for all of their pain.  They are both aware that they love one another, but Carly has finally realized that she needs Sonny to meet her on equal ground, not as someone that he has forgiven and never again will trust.  She knows that without trust, he is going to be poised and waiting for betrayal at every turn and that will blight the love that they have.  She’s absolutely right to refuse to return to him, despite his offer to do so, unless he is willing to let go of the past and work on a whole new relationship.  Don’t rush this reconciliation because if you do, you will be fully unhappy with the results.  Let it unfold carefully, layer by layer, with Sonny discovering just how much he loves and needs Carly.  Sonny frequently gets what he wants.  If Carly comes back now, he will not understand the depth of her value or of his love for her.  Basically, they have just gone from him denying her repeated attempts at reconciliation and insisting that they can never be together.  As soon as she pulled back, he advanced.  It’s just too soon.  He needs to pursue her and court her and convince her that they can have a successful relationship, free of the encumbrances of the past.  When Sonny and Carly start over, they need to truly start over and not just pick up from the sick place where they left off.  Please, just be patient.  I urge you not to invest so much fear and worry into what you are seeing now.  Relax, watch the show and keep a good perspective.  This will be worth your wait.  Even if Sexis seems to be a go-ahead, don’t panic.  It’s all part of the plan and needs to pan out before the good stuff can come.  So for all of you Sonny and Carly fans who are in a panic because the papers are signed, click on the picture below for an inspirational message:

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I am not going to go into how disappointed in the token wave taken at acknowledging Luke and Laura’s anniversary.  If they get back together, I can forgive this glaring oversight considering that our GH Rulers don’t know GH, don’t know Luke and Laura and absolutely do not know GH Fans.  Get thee behind me, Phelps and McTavish and ABC, get onto fixing this soap before more damage is done.   Like Iyanla says, “If it’s broke, fix it.  If you can’t fix it, get rid of it.”  You had a year to fix it and it’s time to get rid of it.  Get us some a new Head Writer and Executive Producer…NOW!”



November 9, 2001

Regarding yesterday's episode of GH

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Click me



November 5, 2001

Mood:  (yawn!) Tired, kids up at 4:45am
Music:  Ricky Van Shelton, "I Meant Every Word He Said"


I hate having my feelings manipulated and particularly, I hate being one of the sheep in the herd, but damn, I really, really despise Laura.  I know there are triggered reactions that the powers that be rely on us having.  We’re supposed to hate Laura, hate David, but think he’s cute, cheer for Bianca, drool over Ryan and Leo, smile at Tad, coo over Hayley and think of Anna as an interloper from GH.  It is as though they neatly box up our feelings for different characters and Fed Ex them to us through the airwaves.   I pride myself on breaking the molds they jam our thoughts into and seeing different textures and flavors to each of the characters in our soaps.  With Laura, I’m just what the director ordered.  Every time she narrows her little crooked eyes and makes that rat face, I want to run her out of Pine Valley on a rail.  If only Leo or Greenlee or Jake would just bug the condo, they would have all the proof they’d need that she’s whacked.  She is the quintessential villain who talks to herself constantly to make sure we know her devious plans and would no doubt tell Greenlee everything she’s done to wrong her if it ever looked like she had the upper hand and was finally doing in her nemesis for good.  If she starts to twirl her handlebar mustache, I’ll beat her myself.  

I’m proud of Binks for turning her down on the maid of honor offer.  Of course, that does put her on Laura’s hit list and ensures more narrowed glares and loud accusations to be flung in her direction.  It’s hard to believe Bianca was her best friend not so long ago. 

Speaking of the good ol’ days, I have to wonder what the psychological motivation was in prettying Laura up now that she’s married to Leo.  Making her viable competition against Greenlee just seems to simple.  Before, she had that plain, fade-into-the-woodwork look, but lately, she’s Vogue all the way.  I know that love makes a person glow, but this is a total makeover.  

There are just not enough scenes with Tad and Jesse.  On the subject, why did Jesse use the door when he followed David into the cabin?  What the heck is going on with Tad’s Ernest Borgnine eyebrows? 

Or Chris and Erica.  What a cute couple.  

I had to wonder if Jack was talking about Bianca or himself when he was discussing emancipation.  I’ve had the feeling since he took his new job that he’s knitting extra hard to extend the leash that Erica’s had him on since they were together.  I guess her lap is getting a little uncomfortable for that dog. 

Mateo is stupid.  I’m still wondering what he did with that 8 pounds of grass he found in Rosa’s purse. 

What the hell *is* Simone?  FBI?  Proteus?  Mrs Proteus? 

Isn’t Bianca being just a little pushy with this Frankie girl?  She seems to be insinuating herself into a lot of Frankie’s life.  She seems almost…predatorial.  Eww.



My friend, Tracey, from “Tracey’s Take” and “Tracey’s Transcripts,” sent me a video of GH’s best weddings and I have been working my way through it and enjoying it immensely.  The first was Anna and Duke, which was in 1987.  The only old episodes of GH I’ve ever watched centered around Luke and Laura’s wedding, which was 20 years ago.  With a 20-year-span, you can get involved with how cheesy the sets were and write all of the other changes off to years gone by.  This episode was very different.  It was good.  It was VERY good.  I was first very surprised by how radically different Finola Hughes looked.  I was a GH viewer from the earliest episodes forward, so I saw this on the original airing, but what a stark contrast seeing her again.  Of course, I also look a lot different than I did in 1987 (*cough, splutter*), but this was enough to make me wonder if she’d had cosmetic surgery.  Her face was so round and now it is so gaunt!  Robin was such a tiny little girl.  That made me realize how much time Kimberly McCullough actually spent on GH.  No wonder she’s not eager to come back.  The acting was good and there were several substories that were just as intriguing as the front burners.  

The next wedding was Lucy and Alan from 1990.   What blew me away in this episode was the ACTING.  Everyone, from the front to the back, was just so very good.  I didn’t see a poor actor in the bunch.  The Quartermaine interaction was particularly good.  Edward was considered dead, so Lila was talking to his portrait.  Monica was preparing to move out of the mansion and she and Lila, with Dawn on the peripheral, had a heartfelt discussion about how much they would miss one another.  Lila and Alan talked about his marriage to Lucy and he looked and acted as though he was being sent off to war.  They both cried.  The best of all was seeing Tracy again.  *sigh*  Jane Elliot is just so good.  Watching her was like watching Richard Pryor and seeing where Eddie Murphy got his act.  I know that GH sat Robyn Christopher down and had her watch endless tapes of Jane Elliot as Tracey to refine the character of Skye (who was already Tracy, Jr on OLTL and AMC).  They are so (wonderfully) similar and Tracy’s interaction with Scott on Alan’s wedding day highlights that in particular.  The best moment of the day was when Tracy barked out a laugh when Lucy walked down the aisle in her bright red wedding dress.  

Ned and Lois in 1995 were particularly fascinating because so many of the actors from now were there then.  Anna was still snapping out orders to Edward and was very vital and vibrant.  Lucky and Emily were soooo young and little.  J  I had forgotten how small Emily was when Alan and Monica adopted her.  What was particularly amazing was how old Anthony Geary looks now compared to just six years ago.  He was still fun Luke with the long hair and cocky attitude; not the dark, defeated, alcoholic Luke that Bob Guza and Megan McTavish have given us.  A novena to St Jude, Patron Saint of Lost Causes, that this walk through the past gives us back old Luke, so say I.  Poor Mike was bitching about how badly Sonny treats him, never has a kind word for him and is so self absorbed that he can’t get past all Mike has done wrong.  Man, if Mike only knew that he’d still be apologizing and paying six years later, he’d probably shoot himself in the head.

Lois’ eyebrows were wild and untamed, but so was she.  She made me realize what a good pair Ned and Kristina would be.  I had already started to see this a bit, but Lois put Ned in touch with his playful, fun-loving, outrageous side and that was something he seldom got to explore with Alexis (apologies to Tracey).  I look forward to the exploration of this new relationship in hopes to see HappyNed again.  It was great fun watching Lois and Gloria manage the smitten ex-boyfriend, Danny as he kept Lois from her wedding and insisted that she loved him and not Ned.  His serenade with the accordion and Carmine and Edward’s toasts all made the reception a lot of fun. It was also great to see Vanessa Marcil as a really good actress before she got all full of herself (apologies to Victoria).   OldAJ, Sean Kanan was still around (*ahhhhh*) and OldJason with the long hair and Keisha on his arm.  What a treat.  

Next was the wedding of Lucy and Kevin and Mac and Felicia.  It was great to walk through a time when Mac and Felicia really loved one another.  Mac epitomized Carpe Diem when he blurted out, “Felicia, marry me,” at the altar.  The whole soap watching world sighed at once, “Awwwwww.”  Of course, Felicia has always settled for Mac because she couldn’t have Frisco, which is a sin in and of itself.  The saddest part is that Mac has always known he was second choice.  V!  V was there!  Lisa C was not as good of an actress as I remembered, but V was sure as fun of a character as I remembered.  I had forgotten how much I miss Lucy’s predictions and how wonderful she really is.  Halfway through the wedding, the audience was suddenly filled with people I did not recognize and it took me a few minutes to realize it was now an episode of Port Charles instead of General Hospital.  This let me see the side of the wedding I had never seen:  the breakup of Kevin and Lucy.  

Alan was still a raging addict and was giving Jason the business because he would not get drugs for him.  It was sad to see the contrast between Stuart Daman being a vital and brilliant actor in his wedding to Lucy versus relying on a lot of intense frowning and growling in his portrayal of drug-addicted Alan.  I guess when you don’t flex a muscle for a while (or aren’t given an opportunity to do so), it atrophies.  Monica and Alan have been at metaphoric “desk jobs” for so long, one has to be reminded sometimes that they CAN act.  

I am looking forward to watching the rest of the tape (it will be a crying shame if Sean and Tiffany are not included) and on to the best of OLTL weddings. 



Speaking of, let’s talk about a concept called “Predictability.”  I know it’s not just that we’re good.  We’ve always been good.  I believe that it’s a matter of either the powers that be being stupid or worse, the powers that be thinking WE are stupid and can’t see these dumbassed plot “twists” coming a mile away.  

WHAT?  Lying, scheming Melanie is able to leave town after totally duping Bo not once, but TWICE and still get a parting kiss and mack out on the premise that she had no self esteem because she was once married to Colin?  Nope, didn’t see that coming (ha).  My fervent hope was that she would be flogged from the town in disgrace.  No chance. 

WHAT?  Keri isn’t Hank’s daughter, but RJ’s?  Nope, didn’t see that coming (ha).  My fervent hope was that it WAS Hank’s daughter and he was going to start getting some air time.  No chance. 

WHAT?  Cris has to (c’mon, you know the words, sing along!) break up with Jen for her own protection.  Nope, didn’t see that coming.  Jen has been smooching on Al, so I’m betting they are going to hit the sack and Jen learns that her fields are as fertile as the Tennessee Valley.  Cris will be safely returned to Llanview, Jen will take him back (“I KNEW something was going on and you really loved me!”), THEN she’ll find out she’s got a bun in the oven and Cris will have déjà vu all over again (but what if the baby is Cris’?).  My fervent hope was that Cris would actually trust Jen with the truth and just let her know that she has to be manically careful while he’s away until this blows over.  No chance. 

WHAT?  Gabrielle and Max’s plan to kill Asa has gone awry and now we suspect that Asa is not really dead, but is setting up his fickle wife and scheming NotSon?  Nope, didn’t see that coming (ha).  Asa is on his island somewhere and will be unable to resist the beacon of his memorial service (does no one have a funeral any more?) and will probably pull a Tom Sawyer and show up as the guest of honor.  Just remember the line, “Nigel took his medicine to him.”  My fervent hope is that the video of Max and Gabby shows up just in time to send them both to Statesville for ATTEMPTED murder because the old Asa has returned and gets to hand pick from all of his ex-wives and return to himself again.  Will it happen?  No chance. 

WHAT?  Nora is spritzing the sheets with cologne for a renewed romance with Sam, but doggone it, that Dr Troy just won’t get out of her head.  Nope, didn’t see that coming. He’s already hit hero status for saving Matthew from a disease that probably doesn’t exist and I’m betting he has a big bottle of Memory Return in his medicine chest, just waiting for Nora.  Medicine chest, chest of drawers with a shrine built into it or just “chest,” “built” and “Troy” in the same sentence keeps me piqued and perked.  My fervent hope is that Nora WILL get her memory back, we WILL get to see some hot scenes between Nora and Troy and Sam WILL go find Will and NOT bring him back, just stay there with him.  Not a chance. 

WHAT?  Todd did something dastardly that makes perfect sense to him, but hurts the people around him?  Nope, didn’t see that coming.  At first, I couldn’t understand it and thought it was a stretch even for Todd, but when they were explaining about the baby to Starr, I saw a glimmer of “Oh no!” on Todd’s face as, for a second, he realized he might not shoulda oughta done what he did.  To him, he was just making a problem go away and if Blair was sad, it wasn’t much more than a kid being sad when their dog has to be put down after biting another kid.  Sad, definitely, but has to be done for the greater good.  I’m sure we will see this play out for a few more days, at least before Todd learns the baby is his and goes off on a frantic search to find it and an even more frantic search for a viable story to tell Blair to explain the sudden return of her child.  My fervent hope is that the rich woman hands we see writing the check and playing with the baby are DORIAN’s.  It would be just like David to hunt down his cupcake, knowing that Dorian would pay FAR more for Blair’s baby than a baby broker would pay for a healthy, white, male child.  Sure she signed the check with a different name, but that could be to cover tracks.  Pleasepleaseplease.  If the powers that be move their heads long enough to pull this coup out of their butt, I could forgive all of the other things in a second.  I know that Robin Strasser is in Paris and doesn’t seem to be interested in coming back, but I’d be happy knowing that was a ruse to cover a triumphant return with baby in hand and harsh words for Todd.  Can it happen?  Not a chance.  Or…maybe!



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