POWERFUL JAWLINE

Robin Christopher (Skye) said that it was fun for her character to use Lorenzo to make Luke jealous, however high schoolish. She stressed that Skye and Lorenzo made great friends, that it’s nice to enjoy friendships on soaps for a change. Come to think of it, Lorenzo’s Ted King stressed the very same thing, weeks earlier to the press.

I think we know which couples Christopher and King are invested in, and it’s nowhere near Skye and Lorenzo on GENERAL HOSPITAL. That’s cool.

My main problem isn’t so much that, or Skye’s childish antics and inability to stick with her resolve to dump Luke, although these are annoying enough.

It’s more Lorenzo, and what he’s made of, romantically. A lot of his shades and colors have come from the observations of his sudden friend, Skye, in a half-hearted, passive-aggressive swipe at Luke’s inability to commit to a white picket fence.

Skye doesn’t love Lorenzo, never will. The spark’s just not there. Carly’s in the way. She’s always been in the way. And with Carly, Sonny’s the pink elephant in the room, so to speak.

Lois came (no pun intended) close, but THE POWERS THAT BE [TPTB] did all the trifling. And, if you believe the rumors, Ted King himself preferred Lorenzo with Carly over anybody else, perhaps on a chemistry high with Tamara Braun (ex-Carly II) from the start.

All this haggling, mixing, matching and swooning over the proper femme fatale for Lorenzo Alcazar does nothing for me but prolong the deep, long glimpse into the man, powerful jawline, vulnerable loyalty, Carly’s love slave.

So when Skye waxes poetic about him, I can only sort of see her point, muddied in her Luke agenda and his enabling kind of Carly obsession.

Sure, he’s gorgeous, rich, dangerous (unless tangling with Sonny, then he’s an emasculated dimwit), dresses keen in his fine Italian suits, barely restraining his simmering cool.

The promise is there.

If it weren’t for the force that is Sonny and Carly, and the secondary plot device that is, Give Skye, Luke, Tracy, Coleman and Alice something to do, I might just believe in the marketing Skye and Lorenzo’s fans perpetuate.

But let’s face it. Lorenzo has yet to live out his real story, pre- and post-Luis. That’s when I’ll believe.

When Lorenzo does more than talk about what has been, what could have been, what will be, with his fingers crossed and a half a dozen promises killed in the heat of the battle to win an enabling woman’s heart, already committed to another... When Lorenzo opens himself up to the possibility of a reciprocal romance, the kind he had with Sophie, before he went bad... When Lorenzo stops kidding himself and either kicks in the killing he claims he renowned for, or gives it up to be the teacher he was, for the true love of a deserving woman...

I don’t see much more than the heartache of unrequited love for Lorenzo, especially by the fall, when speculation indicates another S&C reunion (these things are starting to become an industry joke, the lengthiest con job/cocktease in soaps).

Sloppy seconds, when Lorenzo of all men should know better.

A powerful jawline doesn’t justify...the waste.

IT’S IN HIS EYES

A man does not save your life who does not love.

The hallmark of a riveting drama is the timeless tale of a love gained but never acknowledged until way too late, Gone With The Wind style. That’s what I hear.

On ONE LIFE TO LIVE, John and Evangeline are playing out the modern beats of a Rhett and Scarlett to the hilt. It’s obvious what’s going on between them, obvious to everyone but them (John’s a little more aware).

I suppose the tension in the misunderstanding – John loves Evangeline, but Evangeline can’t allow herself to believe it without incontrovertible proof – lends for delicious agony, for most people.

It’s just a painful, agonizing wait for me.

My interest in this particular story lies in the development of the relationship itself, the way soap storytellers used to do. I contend, you will never enjoy the story without understanding of the characters; otherwise, you’re just watching the news with beautiful, sexy people and clichéd dialogue.

Bringing on Evangeline’s mother and younger sister, introducing her cousins and uncle, giving her a home, a job, a best friend, and a nemesis are good starts. But none of that established commitment means much without devoting the majority of creative license to the main attraction herself.

I want to know what makes Vangie tick... why she comes off to so many viewers (like me) as arrogant, pretentious, disingenuous, and why, most importantly, she must require unequivocal, totalitarian declarations of love from John.

We’re getting way too much of John and his hidden angst, in peeks and spurts – the newspaper clippings, the ridiculously year round the clock serial killings – than we are of the one woman he loves above the other woman he cares about too much to let down any more via the Cristian setbacks.

Because the fact of the matter is, for the non-delusional fans left out there, John desperately, honestly loves Evangeline, who has literally saved his life with her honest, healthy, normal love for him. When Evangeline’s around, John is able to put his fiancée Caitlin’s murder in its proper perspective, behind him.

And Natalie?

Like any red-blooded hetero male, John can’t help but be attracted to her sexually, his dick most assuredly moves every time her tremendous chest trembles in anticipation (mine does and I don’t even have one).

But love?

John and Natalie’s relationship was tainted by Cristian from the beginning, as far back as when John failed Natalie by not looking out for her husband Cristian’s best interests in Las Vegas. Then, Cristian confirmed to John that he wasn’t a fake, but acquired a promise out of John for secrecy from Natalie, compounding the responsibility issue.

John cares for Natalie deeply, appreciates her womanly figure, but for the long haul, is too marred by the guilt of losing too many people he loves (in the context of the relationships, father, fiancée, friend) to even feel anything else but a hero complex, that Evangeline did touch on. (With such an understanding of this hero complex, why Evangeline continues to insist that John doesn’t love her as a result, is the true mystery that should be investigated here.)

Look again.

AS TALL AS EDDIE

It was the first soap opera event I’ve ever attended in my life, and will probably be my last.

No offense to the fans, the actors, or the people behind the four-day, July 14-18, annual GENERAL HOSPITAL Fan Club Weekend, held every summer around this time but... it’s just not me.

Professionally, I’ve attended too many of these cocktail mixers for the business and political sets, for the Chamber of Commerce of Hawaii, the Visitor Industry, Trade Publications, and the like, to put myself through another one, personally – without getting paid for the privilege.

I made the trip down to Studio City, California of all odd places on this map (when I could be sunning myself in Kaanapali, Maui for two weeks, solo ... see, cubbyhole[s ic]) to quietly observe the crowd of fans, stars and the organizers, movers and shakers behind the scenes, and to compare for myself what the online community posting recaps year in and year out have to say and what the reality is.

Most of all, I wanted to meet the rest of the EYE ON SOAPS staff there, Kathy, Kelly, Dianna, Karen, match the faces, personalities with the words.

Overall, this year’s GHFC Weekend seemed low-key, low on melodrama, controversy and stars, just a diverse bunch of friendly, awe-struck, well-versed, respectful fans in their little cloisters converging from one event to another, the stars who showed up, doing their best to converse with their fans, one-on-one, even if that meant the events ran late by two hours, everybody trying for five minutes of meaningful contact, a taste of celebrity and humanity.

The fans I met made the trip down worthwhile. They were so nice to me. A few even singled me out (when they recognized EOS columnist Kathy Hardeman) as Coggie, like it mattered, and for a few seconds, I felt like Kelly Monaco (Sam). I promised Maxine Bennett, a fellow soap columnist and regular EOS reader, to mention her, whom I met at the Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis) goddess party, and here I am true to my word: Thank you for telling me how you loved my writing in person, I will remember you when the mommy stress wears out.

I also met Max of SOAPTOWN USA’s “GH Chronicles” and Nina, the site’s publisher. What a trip they were. I was so starstruck by the beautiful and gracious Max, that I insisted Katrina take a picture of us together – and I NEVER do that (include myself in any picture). I heard Nina’s throaty voice before I hugged her in the hotel lobby.

A regular SoapZone poster, San, was there. EOS publisher Katrina introduced me after pausing momentarily, to ask if it was okay. I remarked that San was the poster who knew everything and anything, the town crier for the soap community. For the record, we’d not always gotten along online, exchanging, “Get a life!” insults back and forth once. But, thankfully, San did not clobber me, but smiled with recognition and welcomed me, without a frown in sight. I’m telling you, meeting fans was way better than catching a star from a distance.

Another semi-regular SZ poster, I forget her handle, but her real name is Chris Hawkins, owner of a Lucky & Liz website and a devoted Greg Vaughan (Lucky) fan... She kindly spent a few minutes with me before his Friday event to describe in detail the painstaking work she and her fellow fans put into a scrapbook for their favorite GH actor. They combed photos, stills, memorabilia, movie references, even a quote from a SOAPTOWN USA column, to amass quite a book of honor, stitched together with a button in denim hard cover. There were so many pages, so many more than we expected, that the book binder had to be sewed with the button for extra security, she added. 
 

Actor-related highlights:

• At the Friday, Nancy Lee Grahn event, Dylan Cash (Michael) held court onstage asking fans in attendance questions like, Did they watch Dancing With The Stars?, adding that he did, live, when the wardrobe malfunction nearly happened. A fan asked him whether Jodie was real or fake and Cash almost gave away the spoiler, conferred with Grahn, who advised him to keep mum. But then, everybody there who went online the past few days already knew that Jodie was fake.
   
• Grahn said they’d just come back from a trip to the Hamptons, and had daughter Kate show off her New Yawk and Boston accents in a hilarious monologue. Grahn mentioned at least twice that she didn’t know that she should’ve dressed in a goddess costume for her goddess party, as the twins playing Kristina did.
   
• Grahn and guest star Corbin Bernsen (John Durant) joked a lot about the idiosyncrasies, and not always in a favorable manner, about life on the GH set. If you find yourself in a pin-striped suit, something bad happens, according to the wardrobe lady, said Grahn.
   
• Grahn brought up a time in her life, during Santa Barbara, when she had a chance to jump on a new soap project, with Finola Hughes (ex-Anna) and former writer Patrick Mulcahey on board, but she wasn’t in a space to do it in the end. She mourned the loss of Mulcahey to B&B.
   
• Grahn challenged each table of fans to come up with the perfect story for her character, and the winning story would be the one she’d take to the “5^th floor” of her bosses and pitch.
   
• Grahn is hassled by Bernsen (I think it was him) for not dressing up better for the show, but she said she’s getting better, even wearing earring gifts from fans in scenes.
   
• Finally, regarding Grahn, she really went out of her way to tell the fans how much their support – from the letters, gifts (is there a stripper next?) and charity contributions, to the cheers and shouts on Emmy night when her name was called as a “Lead Actress” nominee – meant to her and her fellow actors. She meant it too.
   
• Her daughter Kate, is she 10 or 12?, spent most of Saturday afternoon swimming and doing somersaults in the pool with her entourage, after dancing to Kurth & Taylor practicing nearby. She’s cute as a button but very shy.
   
• While I took a break in my hotel room on Saturday night, frantically finishing four columns in a row (thank you very much), my husband Eddie and son James went out to the pool area, and the Vista Rooms upstairs on the second floor, checking out the Kelly Monaco (Sam) – “She’s really too thin, needs to eat something,” Eddie said – post-autograph event, clicking digitals of her interacting with fans, holding the pool gate open for Lindze Letherman (Georgie) and friend, both of them with their arms full, Eddie saying, “Have a nice day,” Letherman wishing the same, catching sight of a lovely beyond belief Adrianne Leon (Brook Lynn) walking down the stairs – “She looks like she’s really close with Lindze,” Eddie observed – and hoisting James, 3, up on his shoulders for a better glimpse at Kurth & Taylor’s concert, at James’ behest, when Cynthia Preston (ex-Faith) approached with Letherman, stopped, said, “Who is this?,” admiring the cuteness that is my son, Eddie verklempt, stuck mentally between vaguely recognizing her beautiful face and not yet connecting her with GH until she’d walked away.

As I’m typing the last of the words to this column, it is 9:01 p.m., we’re checking out of the hotel tomorrow, we’re going to dinner at the 24-hour Jerry’s Deli nearby in 15 minutes, Wally Kurth’s (Ned) Kurth & Taylor music is wafting in through the window, and I am grateful for the small window of opportunity to test my bowels, my resolve and my sanity by risking another road trip, just to get a glimpse of it all.

I could try to write more, recaps that the other EOS staff members will write better, repeat the usual refrain of other soap fans – the stars were skinnier, more beautiful in person – or complain about the drawbacks to such a series of fan-run, fan club events – the long lines, the dawdling actors with the monopolizing fans, the interminable raffle announcements.

But redundancy pains me. And I’m really hungry, and tired.

Maybe next week...