Confessions of a Media Ho

I'm off to New Orleans to see Elvis Costello and the Imposters play the House of Blues this weekend, so my regular column just isn't going to happen. I promise to make up for it next week. However, I'd feel remiss if I didn't comment on something that made my jaw drop on GH yesterday:

Courtney to Jax: "Michael was the heart and soul of our family."

HOLY CRAP! You mean, he was the pint-sized, red-headed version of EMILY? Does she know this? Do you think Lila's a bit miffed up there in heaven, with all these pretenders to her throne? Lemme tell ya, Court, if this little mobster-in-training was truly the heart and soul of your family, you've got a lot of worries ahead. And they're not all connected to Rachel, dumbass.

I am truly worried about the long-term effects of hair colorants/enhancers.

Also: Faith's last syllable..."Ah...ah...ah...(croak)." Alcazar...too obvious. Aaron...too convenient. ALAN QUARTERMAINE, JUNIOR...priceless.

See you next week! Laissez les bon temps rouler!