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July 27, 2003 I’m so glad that the Dobson debacle is over. It’s true that Nancy Lee Grahn has a knack for weaving silk purses, but that was one sow’s ear that I was really tired of watching. Alexis is back to Cassadining for whatever it’s worth. Watching Dobson’s “coming out party” was painful, though Cameron managed to wear a decent suit and tie (I saw it Sherry – he is cute! ;). Scott also dressed surprisingly well for the occasion, shedding his lime green and mango hued button downs for a traditional gray suit with a subtle yellow shirt and tie. Following the merciful end to her career as a bearded butler, Alexis’ hair was a bit disarrayed and she wore glasses while visiting Stefan, indicating indeed that she’s still very much off her rocker (ha!), but she managed to change into a regal red skirt suit, for which we are grateful. Thursday saw her in a deep plum variety of conservative pantsuit, so I have hope that these royal and delicious jewel tones mean an actual return to our lovely Natasha’s roots. We shall see - I sincerely miss “Alexis” enough to hold out hope. As I was completely disgusted by the initial few “Panic Room” episodes, I’ve also been really turned off by the scenes of little Michael wondering where his mother is. I think my jaw actually hit the floor when they showed the poor kid ripping the “Welcome Home Mommy” banner from the mantle. In scenes that could be made heart wrenching and powerful, we’re seeing instead the progressive need for intense child psychotherapy. Then, in a conversation with Sonny, where Michael again asks when Mommy is coming home, Sonny answers with a sigh, “How many times are we gonna go through this?” Uhh...how about “What the complete hell, Dad? I’m like, seven or something. We’ll go through it as many times as it takes for me to feel a bit reassured, ya freak.” Carly must be feeling a bit reassured by the fact that Lorenzo Alcazar has much better fashion sense than Ric. Watching her pace around Alky’s yacht in a belly hugging pale blue lace tank top made me wonder if it could have actually been Lorenzo was behind all that European couture that Brenda was sporting several months ago. Can you just imagine Lorenzo shopping in a side street Parisian boutique, casually selecting expensive styles to clothe his brother’s captive beauty? Then ordering something by telephone to accommodate the high fashion needs of the petite but pregnant wife of an enemy? Alcazar is quite a fellow! Did you catch the cowboy boots he was wearing when he showed up at Sonny’s penthouse to wait for the phone call that would confirm the delivery of his boatload of baking soda? Alcazar’s style makes me smile, from the enormous chain around his neck to the full beard – he’s cartoonish in his “South American Drug Lordship”, but Ted King does a spectacular job of keeping it cool and sexy. Officer Dayna really, really digs Lorenzo Alcazar…hehe
“Oh Carly, you’re such a faker. I know this because I am Alcazar and my power of prediction rivals that of even the great Jason Morgan.” The girls of summer (who aren’t otherwise contained in Panic Rooms, plagued by pseudo mental illness or recovering from brain embolisms) have been looking most lovely. Gia’s talent and beauty is relegated to the sidelines, but as she confronted Nikolas on his Emily love, she looked ab fab in a Hawaiian red halter blouse and white jeans. Georgie may be on her way to mob girlfriend superstardom and her closet is ready: I loved her purple tank and saucy drawstring cargo pants she wore when Dillon was in the clink, and she was especially darling in a raspberry jean jacket (with matching necklace and earrings!) when he got smacked over the noggin on the docks. Big sister Maxie must be gnashing her teeth when she puts on her candy striping polo shirt each day. That Lizzy Weber-Lansing sure did make a quick recovery! Looking frightfully pale and knocking at death’s door from her hospital bed (enough so that even AUDREY appeared…wow!), she appeared realistically non-glamorous while leaving the hospital. That’s when she got caught up talking Niko-luv with Emily, who by all accounts, still has cancer. Just wanted to keep you updated in case you mistook her bouncy, curly, shiny hair and 3 inches of lipgloss as the mark of a healthy individual.
“Yes! (giggle...dramatic pause) I swear, I
have cancer” Anyway, Liz had her hair yanked back in an “I feel like hell” ponytail and she was wearing a black tank top that had a rack of billiard balls in the middle. I mention the outfit because it occurred to me that astute “Liason” fans could come up with a vast right wing conspiracy for that one… The next day, Liz was no shrinking violet, or anything akin to a gal recovering from brain embolisms and the like. No sir, she waltzed into her now former living room of love looking like a million bucks. Or at least $90 worth of Levi’s. She had her rocker girl jeans, denim jacket and red tee, makeup and hair out to there. She witnessed Jason emptying his gun into what she believed was her husband (I bet that scared the complete hell out of Ric, who I don’t believe was aware of the plan to be fakeshot and then transported to Sonny’s penthouse) and she gave a great performance when she reamed Jason out, including Courtney in her accusations. Rebecca Herbst must be feeling a lot better about her job now that she’s not just the girl who pours coffee and wipes the counter. Even as I roll my eyes at some of the storylines (who am I kidding? Some of the storylines??), there has been a great display of talent lately, with Rebecca near the very top of my list. The rest of my list includes (but is not necessarily limited to, because I’m fickle…you know this) Tyler Christopher (Nik), Tamara Braun (Carly) and Rick Hearst (be still my heart). Was I giving NuLydia a chance to improve in my last column? She hasn’t. Sorry… I’m beyond not being impressed. I’m completely bummed every time I watch her scenes because I keep putting Jessica Ferrarone there in my mind and it all would have been so much better. Step into my mind with me for a moment and see how we actually could have been made to give a rat’s ass about Nikolas dissing her like dirt. At the moment though - zero empathy. On the other hand, Nikolas could have had last Thursday’s love scene with the desk and chair themselves and it still would have been hot, hot and sheweee! HOT. I thought for certain that Lydia’s breast was going to spring forth from the side of her dress, but alas, Nik removed his shirt and threw her down, so I was distracted and I don’t think that her nipple actually made an appearance. I was all wiping the drool from my chin seeing him in those baggy jeans with his underwear peeking out. How sexy is this man? More so than Ric? It’s a quandary. In contrast with the sweetness of Emily and Zander’s pink teddy love (which would have probably meant more if I didn’t already know that she was sucking Nikolas in with the vacuum like powers of her lip gloss), Nik and Lydia’s romp was pure sex and steam, and I was glad that it involved neither guns nor strangulation. Bravo GH on giving us a little bit of the stuff we fancy!
BOOBAGE!! NIKKAGE! I hope that you are all doing well and gleaning whatever positives can be found in GH these days! When in doubt and considering the channel up button on your remote, just stay true and remember that Nik, Ric, Jason (ok, well probably not Jason), Zander or Lucky might fling their shirt off at any moment…you just never know. Drop me an e-mail if you want to tell me what you think about our pals in Port Chuck!
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