Welcome to ME!!  

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave town.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Darlings, first off, Note the lovely new site!!  I was bored, what can I say, plus other things came up that you'll hear about in a minute.

If you are looking for the gossip column, it's here:  July 8-9, 2002.  That part has not been updated since July 9th.

Not to be outdone by my pal, Gedstern, I have created what I loving call "The Banner Banner."  See if you can figure out what it's about?  *wink*  Love you, My Geds!!

click to enlarge

Today was, as Alexander would say, "A Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day."  I can't believe all that has happened and I'm still processing a lot of it and trying to find what all it means, if anything beyond what it is.  It seemed odd that so much happened in just one day that I have trouble believing it is just coincidence.  You all know me and know that I listen for voices on the wind sometimes.

I can't really go into a lot of detail, but one thing is that without meaning to in the least, I inadvertently deeply, horribly hurt (not physically) a very dear and long-time friend of mine and my family.  She called me up, furious, hurt, crying and feeling extremely betrayed.  All I could do was listen (while picking my jaw up off the floor) and try to understand what she was feeling and why.  After talking with her for a long time, I could understand why she was so upset, but I really, really did not think she would have that reaction and now I feel really dumb for not predicting that.  I didn't do anything that put anyone in physical danger or anything like that, but I was thoughtless and didn't get far enough into her head to figure out that she would be hurt and I feel terrible for it.  I tend to evaluate my actions based on how I would feel and in this instance, I would not have been bothered.  Unfortunately, I was not in tune enough to realize that SHE would be.  I made her feel violated and used and I am absolutely grief-stricken about it.  All I could do was tell her how sorry I am, how dear she is to me, how I would not have intentionally hurt her for the world and how I wished I could take it back, but in lieu of that, I would do my damnedest to unto as much of the damage and make it up to her as I could.  Unfortunately, she still chose to end our friendship and she is still extremely hurt and angry and I feel like dog mess and rightfully so, now that I look at things from her perspective.  All of you know that in this column, I constantly affirm that I'm not perfect, but I do try hard to be thoughtful of the people I care about and this time I blew it big.  I'm not dealing with this very well because I definitely do expect more from myself and I can't believe I missed this one.  It really cost me in the form of a precious friend who no longer wants anything to do with me.  Somebody please put me on the Wall of Shame. 

As if that was not enough trauma for me and another person in the world, another situation came up today that is really, really scary and one that my mom kept telling me was going to happen and I blithely pooh-poohed her about and now it came right back and bit me on the ass.  As if summoning up the Evil by talking about it in my drunken rambles, I actually got a death threat today!  Delivered to my home mailbox (note I did not say "inbox.")  I can't go into much about it or I'll probably be locked up myself, but after spending the day with the Boys in Blue, my mom is really shaken up and our life is utterly disrupted.  

So between those two things, I've got some major self and Mama repair to do.  I hope you guys will not feel abandoned, cause Sage has to go off to himself and lick his wounds for a while and try to get centered up again.  It's not that I don't love you, because I do, but I've got to take a few days off and get my act together again and get Mom on an even keel.  About half of the sisters aren't speaking to me right now (note:  This absolutely has nothing whatsoever to do with Bender and yes, that was my first thought) and the other half are either fairly terse or out of contact.  

I'll be back soon and in the meantime, I'll try to take a minute or two from time to time to unearth myself from the month of e-mail that I'm behind, so some of you may hear from me.  I'll check in on the message board from time to time, but expect me to be missing a lot of posts and not being very visible there.

Oh, also, I was going to write a Jason and Elizabeth column, but Katrina and I have discussed our thoughts ad nauseum and she is putting them together in writing much better than I am at this point, so I'm going to pass that torch on to her.  You'll probably be seeing that show up in the next day or so.  We have a very similar perspective on this (at least one thing on the show right now) and I trust her to speak for both of us.

You're in my thoughts and I *will* be back.  I just gotta regroup.  Lenore...the key please?

Love Always & Forever,

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