Add Some Sage, Dahling, and it will tase just wonderful! Then let's scoop the latest ABC dish!! De-lish!!

Sage Bourland is our rumor technician here at Eye On Soaps. Sage will be combing the message boards, rumor pages, soap mags and set leaks for all of the choicest tidbits to pass along to you. Got a good rumor? Send it to Sage ! Please remember, rumors are just rumors and reflect what is being said around and about. They are NOT to be taken as spoilers or fact! It's all just girl gossip! Sage welcomes your letters and comments, but please, check any nastiness at the door. Sage is a peaceful warrior.

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I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Maurice Benard, Sonny and anyone else who might be suffering from manic-depression for my remarks below saying that the passion and emotion that comes with the condition might make them good kissers. I was speaking from a position of having kissed and observed kissing, many, many people who are manic-depressives. I have found their work in this field, without exception, to be not only noteworthy, but absolutely spectacular. It was not an attempt to make light of mental illness, M-D, kissing, Maurice Benard, Sonny or anyone who might be engaged in the manic-depressive experience. I thought I had found a positive side to the condition, but I have been duly smited and I deeply apologize for any offense anyone may have taken. I never dreamed that my comments would be seen as negative and I am deeply sorry if I have hurt anyone's feelings or set back the, wait, let me see if I can find the accusation, "set back the efforts of actors who suffer from this disease and come forward to try and educate the public on it." I have been accused of having "astounding ignorance" about this. I thought I was making an educated speculation based on extensive experience in this particular situation and I actually felt the people in my readership who are dealing with manic-depression might say, "You know, I am a damned good kisser!" It was in no way my intention to harm or offend.

There are two columns posted today, so please read further down to get the other one.

Yikes!! Gedstern is suggesting that Carly really is dead and we've all been spoiler duped! That would be quite a coup by JFP, Guza and Company if it's true, but I think she's going to be dropping into her funeral and the reunion will happen right on schedule...well, on the new schedule!! At last, my really nice S&C people (as opposed to the really hateful, weird and belligerent ones) are going to get their lonnnng awaited and fraughtfully delayed reunion!! Esther!! I'm so happy for you!! I think you are going to see some really nutty Sonny and Carly kissin' and lovin's and that crazy mad love that you've been waiting to see. Alexis baby or not, your couple is back together for sweeps and is likely to stay that way for a while, despite some bumps in the road! Thanks for staying with me on this and believing in me when I promised you it would happen and the naysayers were saying "Nay." (I think it was actually "neigh" and they are a bunch of nag horses with no faith!! hee hee)

No, I'm not doing C&S fan butt kissing because I chastised some of their fans below. I'm really looking forward to the reunion, mainly to watch Sonny kiss. I have been clear on my feelings on Maurice Benard as an actor and that has not changed just because people wrote to me trying to force me into believing otherwise just because they do. Different people have different opinions and that's the way the world turns. It doesn't make anyone's less valid because someone else has one that opposes it.

Speaking of which, THANK YOU to all of the super cool, very intelligent S&C people who wrote to me after my last GH column to say that they are passionate about their favorite couple reuniting and are bummed about the dragggging out of the Alexis and Sonny business and potential baby, but that they really get how uncool it is for people to be blaming it all on Alexis/NLG. You guys rule and it's people like you for whom I write this column. I think it's great that you can be heavily invested into a couple or actor or character and not have it take away your soul to the point that you start tearing up other fans or actors about it. It's 10am, but I'm STILL going to live my glass to you, darlings!! The good news is that there were only TWO, count'em TWO crazy psycho people who wrote to me about it out of HUNDRED of letters, so once again, I have to say that whether you are a Sonny & Carly person, a Sonny & Alexis person or any combination there of or even a Sonny-Alexis-Carly-Don't-Much-Give-a-Shit person (and I tip my hat AND raise my glass to that very brave Carly-Alexis person who wrote to me - excellent imagination there, my pornographically minded comrade), my readers are the crème o'da crème and I'm so glad that we have cleared away the riff-raff and filtered down to the sane, wonderful, fun folks! LOVING YOU, BABIES!!

But back to Sonny kissing. Regardless of my MB feelings, can that guy kiss or what? There's something about a manic-depressive that just filters right down to the lips and tongue, isn't there. It's like the energy of the manic blends with the passion of the depressive and before you know it, you're up against the wall, knocking lamps off night stands and biting and scratching and groping and hoping you never have to draw another breath that doesn't have a tongue in the middle of it. Admit it. Everyone one of manic-depressive types are great kissers, aren't you? Anyway, the reunion is bound to be tender and passionate and wonderful and I'm eager to see it. You can really tell that Guza is back because after a year of GH being in a nunnery, everyone in Port Charles is scroggin' again. That Guza...he likes to blow up thinks and have sex like no one I've ever seen. If the Energizer Bunny wore a hooded sweatshirt and turned out to be the Unibomber, that'd be Guza.

There's also a rumor that a newbie is going to be killed off and I'm betting on Sarah. She was supposedly leaving this summer and I'll bet that's how it's going to go. When was our last trial? Stefan for killing Luke? Or was it Luke for killing Stefan? Pfft. I don't remember. Brain fart.

As far as Liz and Jason, I'm still seeing a hot moment or two between them if not a full blown romance. Of course, Jason could have a hot moment with a doorknob if he turned the smoulder that way.

I just want to say that the live week has been incredible!! The added stress of not having retakes has brought out the best in everyone, the writing has been SPLENDID and the acting exemplary. How often can you trust a KID in a live shot?? KA was so outstanding in her scenes and I was really able to see what a good actor Ty Treadway is where I had originally dismissed him as an eye candy bar. The week has been a thrill and I applaud them for such a ballsy and effective move. Was that Marco who did the guest spot on Wednesday?? I thought I recognized him in the eyes and face shape. If so, age may have changed him dramatically, but DAMN! Rrrowwwlll.

How about that great Maximillian and Roxie marriage!!! Is that great or WHAT??? Since this is a soap and the marriage was consummated, I'm betting Roxie isn't going quietly into that dark night of divorce!! I feel an Eliza Doolittle makeover coming on and a hilarious ride in the process. I didn't think I could enjoy any scenes with Max ever again and that he'd been written into a corner from which he could never return, but slap me to sleep and slap me for sleeping, I was dead wrong! This going to be a HOOT!

Love Viki, love Niki, love Erika, but damn, this Niki Smith stuff is getting old and just isn't playing out very well. I don't know if ES is just playing this one too hammy and over the top or if it's just a story that is done or what, but I'm just not getting a kick out of it this time. I always look forward to Niki's arrival, but this one is falling short for me. I DO want to hear the secret she has and think it will unlock a great story and really get things moving again, so I'm eager to bring that on.

Another unexpected pleasure has been watching Finola Hutchinson this week as Gabrielle. She started out this stint as Gabs by hamming it up like a high school drama class production, but this week, she has been so real and so entertaining that I stand corrected. I'm reminded of Miranda Richardson (or is it Natasha Richardson?) and Emma Thompson, and that's a good thing. I'm actually cheering for her to shake off some of Bo's holier than thou sanctimony and give him a life for a change. ("I'm gonna wash that Melanie right outta my hair. I'm gonna...")

I loved how La Kane "forbid" Kendall to enter her plea as "not guilty." Does an ego come any greater than that? :)

I'll admit, I forgot Michael E. Knight could act. Love his portray of Tad grieving Dixie. He almost made me miss her. Almost. Not quite.

The Underdog music played in the background as Ryan saved Chris and I loved every single minute of it. There is NOTHING Sage loves more than the classic soap drama. ("NO, you go on! Save yourself!" Chris(t) got to do it not once, but TWICE in one show! LOVE it AND we got a "You stubborn sonofabitch, where do you think I got it from?" or similar facsimile and I loved it too!!) Ahhh. Life doesn't get any better!

See, here's the thing. She never should have taught me how to post my own stuff. When I was at her house once on one of our drunken binges, Katrina passed on a copy of Microsoft Front Page to me and gave me a lesson in using it so I could post my own columns, which I've done off and on for the past few months. Sometimes, she does my stuff, especially if it's something that I wanted to run past her first. But at least I knew how to do it. I couldn't do all of the FTP programs and such that she does, at least I don't think I could, but I can handle Front Page. You could say that I'm Front Page's bitch when it comes to uploading. Anyway, I was talking to Katrina (our magnificent WebMistress and creatrix of Eye on Soaps) last night and it turns out that her hubby is still laid off (I've come to the conclusion that although the telecom field pays great when you do work, being a contracted employee in it is for the birds) and drawing unemployment, but that's not enough to sustain them with his VA disability and when he does work he makes enough money that a low paying job would not equal his unemployment benefits. That means Katrina has to go out and get a job. She's been a stay at home mom for about 5 years and the skills she used when she was in the work force are rusty enough to be unmarketable. (The skills I imagine she possesses that could make her really good money she's not willing to use - then there's that whole "jail" thing that scares her off of a lucrative career of ho'in') When I talked to her, she was really sad at leaving her little ones to work and was saying that if she's working full time, she's not sure that she's going to have enough time to keep up the site and if she does, she'll have to drop her own columns and just post everyone else's. She's trying to find ways to keep the site alive, but to me, the whole spirit of the site is set by her writing and without that, it has lost a big part of what makes it special.

Mom and I are on a limited income and it keeps us going, meets our needs and allows for some extras, so I've been sending her little bits along the way to help out with the site expenses. EOS has definitely been very good to me and took a silly, hair-cuttin' gossip queen and gave him a place to speak and a few thousand friends. I couldn't do much more than surf the net through favorites and Yahoo when Katrina found me. I'd just learned to use e-mail, pretty much. Now, I'm in a warm and loving community that is literally the Best of the Net. I will always be grateful to her for that. If it weren't for Katrina, I'd never have met my wonderful, Ho's and all of the great people who e-mail me on a regular basis. My life is so much richer and sweeter because of the hours she puts into EOS every day. Anyway, enough of the bells and whistles. Katrina is my very best, dearest friend and a really cool person and I want to help her any way I can and selfishly, I want to do everything I can to keep EOS from going under, at worst, or losing her fantastic spoiler commentary and monthly columns. I very much missed EOS when it was down for a couple of weeks and I don't want to have a life without it if I can make a small effort to keep that from happening.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, we put up the Uncle Sam and little globe banners and hoped that if people didn't have to invest actual money, that they'd click on the link to help the site. A few wonderful, intrepid souls have been clicking regularly, but most folks just blow right past it and get the good stuff from the site without taking even a second to give something back (doesn't that suck?). My heartfelt thanks to all of you who are clicking away like mad to help us stay on the net. Unfortunately, to make up for the nonclickers, I've made a decision that some folks probably aren't going to like much. I've taken it upon myself to put a couple of popup banners (if I did this right) on my page and registered the account to her name, so she'll get a little cash from my page at least. Sorry to do this to you, but it sure beats losing any part of EOS and I'm not going to let it go down without a fight. I figure we are well able to click through the banners that jump up on our message board and not think twice about it or click past the ads on our mailing group, so we can click these things out too. Those ads are going straight to the company that provides our mailing group and message boards as a free site. This cash will go directly into supporting our site.

If anyone would like to make a cash donation to the upkeep of the site, please contact Katrina at rasbold@earthlink.net to find out how. You can also use the PayPal system to make a credit card payment by clicking here:

So much to talk about, so little time!! I haven’t yet watched all of today’s show, but WOW! I did get a chance to see Jackie Zeman really turn it on and bring out a breathtaking display of grief when she was told that Carly is dead. I am totally impressed and she’s bumped up many, many notches in my book! What a pro!

Yep, the Sonny and Carly reunion is set for the last week of May. At long last fulfillment! Carly will still have holes in her memory, but Sonny is ready to forgive her and start with a clean slate. He has learned that life is just too short and a second chance is priceless.

Now that the S&C people are sitting snuggly, bugly and happy, I’m going to piss them all off and reprint something that I wrote from my heart on my message board today. Don’t read it if you are S&C sensitive and I have to say, I truly do respect the right of others to feel differently. That doesn’t for a second mean my mind will be changed if I get a drove of letters painstakingly explaining to me why I’m wrong. In fact, having spoken my peace, I probably would not even respond to the letters. The Alexis haters feel what they feel and I feel what I feel. My feeling is that she got a really bad shake out of this and was treated very unfairly. So here goes my rant:

I guess I just don't understand this white-hot hatred toward Alexis. It seems like she has gotten the brunt of the anger that S&C fans have about their favorite couple being broken up. I think NLG is a fine actress and I, myself, have enjoyed watching Alexis' journey through a difficult time. With Stefan leaving, Kristina arriving, the NotWedding and so many other things going on in her life, I think it has been a fascinating study in the unraveling of a complex and interesting character. It has been interesting to see her push away people like Ned who want to love her and move toward self-destruction with Sonny. I don't think anyone thought or thinks S&A would last, least of all Alexis. She worked hard to keep her feelings under control, knowing there would be repercussions, but her big-mouthed sister wouldn't leave it alone and in a critically emotional moment, it came out. Sonny was afraid to lose the only friend besides Jason he could trust and Alexis didn't want Sonny to slide into a place (in her eyes) that was totally beyond redemption with the hit on AJ. Sonny and Carly were OVER when anything happened and it still amazes me that S&C fans are so ate up about what Sonny owes Carly and how bad Alexis is for feeling attracted to Sonny. As we've said 100 times, divorce is DIVORCE, plain and simple and it hurts and it's messy and people make good choices and bad choices in the aftermath. Mostly, it's just about everyone responding out of his or her own pain. Sonny and Carly are going to get back together and for the umpteenth time, I'm sitting here wishing their fans would just sit back and watch the damned story unfold without all of the bitching and moaning and whining and threats. It's a STORY and it has many facets and angles. You can't push the river and in the end, you are going to get what you want, so just chill. I only wish that there was some way to transfer the energy of all those who turn the TV off because Sonny and Alexis happen to be on to all of us who are watching and interested in seeing what happens next as this story unfolds. If Sonny and Alexis have a baby and all of the S&C people who are screaming and bitching stop watching, maybe the rest of us can just enjoy the show without getting so emotionally invested in one sliver of the show to the point that "if this happens I won't watch any more." I know everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and I still hold true to that, but it pisses me off when any positive comments about Alexis are attacked. I *LIKE* Alexis and, as many know, I don't particularly like Sonny, but it's still very interesting to me to see how these two interact and what corners they turn while SONNY IS ON HIS WAY BACK TO CARLY.

I really feel for Alexis and for NLG. I don’t understand why Alexis is being put on the stake to be burned, but Zander’s puppy dog eyes after Carly aren’t addressed at all or very little. Certainly, Carly and Zander went a lot farther than Alexis and Sonny before they hit the sheets, but Zander got nowhere near the lambasting that Alexis took from the S&C people. I feel that Alexis’ story was very real and very moving. It’s hard to put forth an image of cool resolve and Virgoian togetherness when you are a pile of insecurity on the inside. Alexis is a tremendously damaged person who si trying hard to maintain an image of sanity and competency. It’s hard to be a “smart” woman on the soaps and it was inevitable that Alexis would have her vulnerabilities explored in living color and be found wanting by at least some portion of the fan base. When we began to see Alexis, the real person, instead of Alexis, the persona, the fangs were bared and the claws were out for the eviscerating. When she dared to have feelings for a handsome, charming, unattached man who could only lead to her own destruction, she was mercilessly hacked to bits. For me, I watched a woman who was protective of her privacy, of her personal feelings and of her heart from the first few weeks on the show on have her most private and intimate self exposed and hanging in the wind from Eddie’s Angel to the Wedding That Wasn’t to Kristina’s heartless and imposing interference. Alexis BEGGED Kristina to leave it alone, to let her have privacy with her feelings, to honor her boundaries, but no. Kristina had to push and push and push until Alexis was a basket case and everyone from Sonny to Ned to Carly knew her most personal and private feelings. All of the people who should NOT have known how she felt were the ones that were *oops!* informed because Kristina is above the need for restraint, loyalty, decorum and self-control. This year, Alexis has lost her long-time love and trusted partner because she was forced into a commitment she didn’t want to make, her best friend in a brutal murder enacted by a person who terrified her and her childhood friend and protector. Stefan was the only person who could truly know and understand what it is like to have grown up in the Cassadine world in the shadow of monsters with no protector. She had to revisit an achingly painful time in her life and cope with the guilt of feeling responsible for her sister’s abduction and “death,” not to mention reliving the death of her mother. Alexis has spent about a year and a half being violated in the most painful ways possible and now the fans have violated her yet again because she dared to feel something for someone they deemed “inappropriate.” Jeez, how many of us have done exactly the same thing? It’s a good thing that none of the people who are trashing out Alexis were around when I made mistakes in my life or I’m not sure I would have lived through it. Let s/he who is without sin not only cast the first stone, but may all of you who have ever loved the wrong person, slept with the wrong person or ached for someone from afar just shut the hell up. It’s a story that is trying to be real and to show people reacting out of pain and making choices that are not in their best interest just to feel something good for a little bit of time. Is Alexis going to feel good now? No and neither is Sonny. They are suffering their penance for wanting some joy for a few moments, taking the zig when they should have zagged and the C&S people can die happy assured that Alexis is about to be in complete and total misery. Me? I’m looking at it as a continued unfolding of her undoing and I’m eager to see her rise up out of her own ashes. To answer the question that is burning in your minds, yeah, I think it’s possible NLG won her bid to have a Sonny Baby. The last I heard is that Guza was against it and told her no, under no uncertain terms (agreeing that she could have a Ned Baby, however), but highers up may have changed those terms and I think she’s knocked up. Yeah, that throws a glitch in the S&C harmony, but soaps are about conflict and glitches and babies that land in the wrong uterus. This opens up an incredible avenue for stories since it looks like Sister Kristina of the Perpetual Yammering is Zander bound and Alexis is slated to land right back with Ned again. Ned is the gatekeeper and if Alexis is pregnant, she’s going to need a gatekeeper. Despite the hunch that all can’t be well in Skye and Jax Land, I am hearing that they are still a go, even though Guza always wanted Alexis and Jax but was, in his past GH life, vetoed by former EP, Wendy Riche. Skye will probably be her own undoing in the relationship, but Jax seems flexible enough to bend with her as she works on trying to upset that unfamiliar place of being happy. If you think about it, Skye and Jerry Jacks aren’t that far off, so I don’t think Jax is in as foreign a country as it would seem. I think we’re going to see Jax and Skye and Ned and Alexis as couples. Guza always liked Ned and Alexis and is painfully dedicated to the couples and characters he birthed. I don’t think we’re going to see a variation on that across the board.

Speaking of Jerry, the word is still on that he will return, but I don’t see Robert Scorpio, Emily, Robin, Brenda and definitely not Sarah Brown. I don’t think we are going to see the mass firings that are rumored around the net and I also don’t foresee a huge influx of characters. I think the rumors of a Stephen Nichols return could be well founded and I’m getting them from really good sources, though I couldn’t get anything confirmed absolutely at the time I’m writing this. I don’t think the viewer response to Scotty is what was expected, so I’m betting that when Jerry returns, he and Bobbie will reconnect and Scotty will fade back to Port Charles having been cast aside by two GH babes in a row. Love me some Scotty, but none of the writers past or present have really known what to do with him since the Labines. News is good for Maurice Benard, however, because the current writing staff has a really great feel for Sonny and will no doubt be writing him much more in character before long. They just have to work him out of the quagmire that McTavish and JFP buried him in, clean him up and get him back on track again. Likewise, Guza is great with writing Jason, having penned his transformation from Jason Quartermaine to Jason Morgan. Despite his projected “saving” of Courtney, I think he will probably still hook up with Liz, at least for a little while, determined entirely on whether or not Rebecca Herbst comes back into her right mind and stops trying to bargain with the powers that be to get her hubby, Michael Saucedo, ex-Juan, back on the show. These writers didn’t know what to do with him when the brought him onto the show originally and still don’t have a place for him, so I can’t see them bringing him back again. One of the most critical mistakes an actor can make, in my opinion, is overestimating their value at a point of the show where they could easily be written off canvas without affecting the major stories. Having lost Lucky, it would be rather uncomplicated writing-wise for Liz to slip away to lick her wounds and never be heard from again. RH is a great actress who has been wronged in a big way by the writers, but her position on the show right now seems a little too precarious to make demands in negotiating her staying or going. I would think few of the cast members are breathing very easy right about now. Personally, I think the option for Jason to take up with Courtney (Put THAT in your pipe and toke it, AJ!) is being used as an alternate story idea in case RH makes good on her threat to walk. I think she’ll smell coffee soon and we’ll have a Elizabeth and Jason love story to take our collective breath away.

So back to Sonny and Carly. No, she’s not dead. I guess that’s fairly obvious since I just reiterated the reunion that takes place pinging off of the events of May 27^th. From what I hear, she walks into her own funeral, Tom Sawyer style (well, she doesn’t fall through a roof) on Monday, the 20th. (I really hope Bobbie spikes that football in front of everyone who forced her to believe that Carly was dead. Strike up the band for MommyInstincts). She has holes in her memory and can recall main things about her life, but not the events leading up to the accident. Sonny is ready to take her back and forgive and she is excited that her family will be together again. The unfolding of the story of what happened to Carly is expected to carry through the summer and be far reaching. All I can get from anyone is “it’s not what you think.” One of the main questions is how the DNA testing was reported inaccurately.

Alexis handles things very well (on the outside, anyway) and is actually happy that Sonny will be happy. His grief for Carly shows her how much he loves his ex and above all, Alexis is Sonny’s friend and wants him to be happy. She knew all along theirs was the relationship that was not meant to be, which is why she was so desperate to keep her feelings under wraps and not broadcast via the Kristinaphone.

Roy and Felicia are still a go and there’s supposed to be heavy Maxie footage through the summer (why, I can’t fathom). She’ll be getting in over her head with the party crowd and will be a big heartache and headache for Felicia.

Lord, how I have missed my loveys! Since EOS was having its fit, I decided to take a few days of a quickie vacay and fly mom out to see Marji and Sal for Mothers Day. It was a very fast, but very wonderful visit. (To read about my whacked out family, you can click here for my old post about them: http://www.livejournal.com/users/rumorqueen/day/2001/06/27) Anne was there for one of the evenings and it’s always good to see her. She’s in college and doing the wild, young bohemian thing with the dark glasses and pretentious dark hair. She looks like Maude Lebowski and I love it. We spent the whole time calling each other “Darling.” Like I mentioned in the link I just gave you, Sally is a retired chef and he cooked nonstop and the food was sooooo yummy. On Sunday, his whole family came over and I started getting an Italian accent from being around them. I fuhgotabout so many things I can barely remember my name. They’re all so cool and I can’t remember laughing that much in forever. Mom had a blast and I think it was really good medicine for her. Ginger, one of my other sisters, actually showed up and after something like 2 years of them dating, we FINALLY got to meet Bender (though we still don’t know if that’s his first or last name) and it’s so funny because he’s this little bitty Maynard G. Krebbs looking guy. Here’s Ginger the beauty queen with Gilligan! (A little known factoid: on the show, Gilligan is actually the last name and his first name is "Willy.") He’s very quiet and subdued, which isn’t healthy in a houseful of gregarious Italians and, well, ME! I think he was a bit overwhelmed and I doubt he’ll look to encounter us anywhere soon, considering how it went. Ginger doesn’t show up much anyway. She told us before that she met him through work, so I figured he was also a party planner or whatever the hell her job is, but it turns out he’s some kind of research scientist who had come to the resort where she works and become smitten with her. He tried to tell me what he was working on, but he started yammering about proprietary ingredients and chemical compounds and my eyes glazed over and my head fell over onto the coffee table, so I don’t WHAT the frig he does. Get this: He doesn’t watch TV!! I was in shock. Finally I had something to talk to him about, which was his own weirdness. He said he doesn’t like to have his thought processes cluttered up with the “cacophony of madness” that is on TV and I just looked at him with my mouth open. I said, “So do you not read books either? Have you just arbitrarily damned any media that might have something to offer you beyond the elemental table and your own ego thoughts?” He got all shitty with me and I countered by telling him about A&E and Discovery and The History Channel. I told him we have this new invention called “cable TV” that frees him from the confines of watching only 3-4 stations in black and white. He snorted all pretentious-like and said that it freed him up to “watch Three’s Company and Brady Bunch reruns ad nauseum.” I told him there was way more on the tube than Three’s Company and he could just shut the hell up about the Brady Bunch and if he was any kind of a real man, he’d be interested in The Bunch just by virtue of lusting after either Marsha or Greg, or either Mike or Carol, depending on your age preference. He gave me a “Pffft” and said it was a shame that America was so focused on sitcoms and soap operas to the point that they can’t even function in real life and that if more people would turn off their TV, there’s be an instant reduction in the epidemic of obesity and illiteracy in the nation. He then said (brace yourself), “For instance, soap operas alone have been responsible for turning the brains of women into oatmeal for almost 40 years.” OH HONEY, it was ON. Ginger FINALLY hauled what was left of him back to their hotel and we didn’t see him again (and hopefully will not until he's learned a thing or two about that stick up his butt). I was deemed victor by the rest of the family (and Sal’s family too) and they carried me around on their shoulders in the living room we made jokes about tying him down and forcing him to watch episodes of Flipper and Eight is Enough. I don’t often clash with people (in real life, anyway), but this guy was just such a little worm. If anyone ever needed a good Simpsons/King of the Hill/Family Guy injection, it’s him. All work and no play makes Bender a dull asshole.

Wait. I’m sure we were going to talk about the soaps sometime. Sorry. Got distracted by the dull spot that talking to Bender left in my mind. Now I know who they named the robot after on Futureworld.

AHHHHHHH. I have the POW-WAH!!!! It was a little slow in coming, but the curse that I laid upon Dixie when she was trying to die in the Caribbean has finally come home to roost and die she has! I’m sure this will be one of those “body not found” moments, but it’s good enough for me for now. Of course, you know how this is going to go. I mean, it doesn’t take a programming genius to figure out that with Maria coming back, Tad and Brooke are setting up for a romance, but the question is this: Who will dump whom first?

Has anyone else been watching the Simone and Roger scenes and finding themselves noticing that Roger is a really good kisser? I, um, didn’t expect that. I mean, Mark Pinter is a really great actor and all, but I didn’t really put him in the Soap Love Interest category until he planted one on Simmy and I thought, “Damn…he’s looking like he’s likin his work.”

So Aiden has been transferred to AMC now instead of GH and is a smarmy relative of Anna’s, it seems. Given the fall on the face that her last shadowy relative took, I don’t hold out much hope for this one and it comes right on the tale of rumors about Ian Buchanan marching into Pine Valley as Duke Lavery again, as well as rumors of Finola Hughes considering leaving her role as Anna. That would definitely punch a whole in the inflation of the Devane-Lavery family balloon.

Just in case everyone did not get the word, the “press release” announcing Meagan McTavish’s move to AMC was a hoax. Breathe. So far, she’s still unemployed as far as I can tell.

Loving the live stuff and the new opening pics are fabulous. It was great to see Luna again. J

Still no word on the story for Tea DelGado’s return. I’ll keep you posted.

Could a romance be heating up for Bo and Niki? I’d love to see it, actually. Memories of Vince ring in my head.

You got it in one. Sam and Blair are on their way. Is Max just going to bounce around or what? There is word of a deeper connection between Roxie and Max, so could it be that he’s going to get a son in Rex? That should shake up Al’s world a little bit more. Maybe he can go completely mental and end up with a curse similar to Dixie’s!!

Don’t look for many OLTL faces on the Daytime Emmy presentation side of things. Only Sherri Saum and Kamar de los Reyes are slated.

Yeah, I know you’re waiting for GH, but honey, it’s late and Sage has jet lag. I’ll be sure and catch you up on the latest GH gossip tomorrow!

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