Sherry's Jubilee!! By Sherry Mercurio

I only have a few random comments, but I feel them quite strongly!

DAVID VICKERS!!!!!! *Sigh* When he told Dorian to stop saying Baaaadhrrrraaaa, and just say Badhra, I felt that all was right with the world. *Sigh*

River and Adrianna? First thought when they come into view: “Oh crap! Where’s the remote? That darn Carlotta is going to be tripping along behind them any second now!” Second thought: “Seriously, does my fast-forward not go any faster than this?”

Roxy and Nigel are BACK!! Loved the entire music contest show, particularly enjoyed the drinking at the bar. Marcie was fabulous…brought tears to my eyes. That entire show was so fun, and yet so touching in parts…OLTL has its failings, but forgetting to have a good time once in awhile is not one of them.

Why is Natalie (even as a pool shark) blending into the woodwork? She’s little more than a cheerleader for other characters, and that is NOT the Natalie I appreciated once upon a time.

NuKelly…*snore*….oh, what? Oh yeah, I was going to comment on NuKelly…*snore*

NuKevin –He’s slimy! Very much appreciate the effort it takes to make such an impression though, because at least he is something, and not “just there”, like Joey. Good acting, nice looking…typical politician. Nice casting job overall for where it appears Kevin is headed these days.

I still LOVE Walker, and my Trevor St. John love knows no bounds. I’m amazed honestly, and I’m really tough on recasts usually, I admit. OLTL handled this whole thing superbly and expertly, and it’s going to pay off in the long run. Kristen Alderson has been fabulous with him as well, and the whole thing just works so well that it’s almost scary. Had you asked me a year ago if it were even possible, I’d have never believed it was. TSJ is one of those actors that I just love to watch. We all have them, they’re different for each of us, and it’s above and beyond just a favorite character. It’s just a certain *something* that makes almost anything the actor does, intriguing to me. TSJ has now joined Roger Howarth, Sarah Brown, and Lane Davies (though GH is trying hard to kill that in me…don’t worry, they’ll NEVER win, lol) on the list of actors that could watch paint dry for an hour, and I’d watch them do it.

I’ve enjoyed Kathy Brier’s performances (and Nathaniel Marston’s for that matter) but I can’t find much to like about the “Peace” storyline, otherwise. I guess partly, I just have a really hard time believing that I’m supposed to believe that college kids in a small town could really get away with what these kids are getting away with. And I don’t buy the motivations much either. It feels too contrived, too “it’s ripped from the headlines so it must be good”, for my taste. I’m disappointed that the sweet innocence of the story wasn’t milked for a little longer, and virtually all the spoilers have me beyond upset. Over the last few days, there have been rumblings of possible changes to the spoilers – as yet unconfirmed as far as I know. If you want to do something about the upcoming story or casting changes, there may still be time (but get on it immediately!) and it certainly can’t hurt. Click here for the Save Our Voice Campaign.

Did Rex just sell Lindsay’s “services”? Give him time and I swear he’ll be running all of Llanview, lol!

Wow, where to begin? I really do realize that you all are sick of hearing me complain about how downright dumb this show is getting, but lately, it’s either that or no column at all (thus my long absences, lol). You can feel free to vote either way on that, and I’ll take it under advisement. Click on Lane below to do so (don’t worry, he likes it ;), and notice that at least I’m nice enough to give Lane some screen time in each of your homes any day you want it. I know how to utilize good actors, oh yes I do. GH, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know squat about utilizing anything properly, and it’s getting downright sad. I know I’m not the only one watching this show with my mouth hanging open, wondering where it all went? The glory, the romance, the fun, and the families…all are gone. The pieces are still there I suppose, but the scattering has been so complete and far-reaching that it’s almost incomprehensible to picture it coming back together. The cast is too big, the stories are too small and the focus is as narrow as it can get without disappearing completely. Why have such a large cast if they are truly never utilized? There’s something inherently wrong with the way GH is being run at the moment, and I don’t even care anymore where the blame falls. Honestly, I think it’s hitting bottom and I see no way that ABC can continue to ignore the state of things. It has moved beyond too much violence and too much mob. It has moved beyond silly stories and ridiculous plot points. Now, at least for me, there’s just nothing. There are actors I like to see, sure, but there are no…and I mean NO characters that I care about any longer. I can’t get invested. I see no reason to invest. Do I care what happens to Alexis or Skye tomorrow? Nope. I won’t be surprised by whatever happens to them, because I realize that nothing is sacred. I won’t be shocked at the next death, birth, miscarriage, fight, or marriage. It’s all very by the numbers, for a group that touts themselves as writing new exciting things. Predictable can be okay on soaps, because there are a few things we just expect, as soap viewers.

We expect the good girl to have an affair once in awhile and be totally mortified that she did. We expect a bad girl with a little heart and vulnerability underneath, to offset the saccharine all-knowing characters and the bad to the bone characters. We expect the good girl to fall in love with a bad boy, and turn him into a tamed bad boy, for a while at least. We expect a big extravagant wedding once in awhile, and we expect that it may or may not end in marriage, depending, but we know it will end in high drama if not in happy tears. We expect a terminal illness on occasion, and we expect that it will bring great story for the family involved. I contend that GH has completely obliterated my expectations to the point that to call me apathetic would imply more interest than I can muster at the moment. Emily has cancer. They recently trashed a long-term story arc that had the good girl falls in love with bad boy expectation going for it (and I was never a Zem fan really, but at least I saw the buildup) for a rather quick dive into the princely love pool. Hey, there’s chemistry, that’s undeniable (and important), but there’s really no story to speak of that led up to this. Now she’s on her deathbed, and she’s getting married. So we watch the favorite daughter of one of the town’s premier families, get married without one family member present. She’s DYING, for Pete’s sake! Are you kidding me? No tearful Alan and Monica? I’m still stuck on why any member of the Q family is even leaving the hospital at this point since she is supposedly drawing her last breaths. I mean sheesh, one of the Q’s should have wandered upon that wedding by accident if nothing else.

Emily almost accomplished one of my soap expectations; she turned away from Nikolas to keep him safe. That’s great! A true soap heroine would do just that. The problem is, she’s marrying Zander for absolutely no good reason at all. She’s dying; she doesn’t need to find a way to keep Nikolas from her at this point since nature is supposedly going to take care of that for her. She said it would help Zander when she’s gone if they were married. How exactly? Is it easier to mourn a wife? She doesn’t love him like she does Nikolas, and she’s told like twelve people about it, so does she figure it will just be easier for him to learn that after her funeral? She’s no soap heroine; she’s a selfish twit. A soap heroine would refuse Nik in order to keep him safe, and refuse Zander because she’s dying and can’t be a wife to him. Everyone would ooh and ahh over her selflessness, and her family would be gathered around, sheltering her from the constant pestering of her suitors. Then we’d actually be happy to see her miraculously heal, and we’d be at the edge of our seat wondering how she’d explain things to Zander now that she couldn’t get out of the situation without hurting him.

Where are our bad but vulnerable girls? That used to be Carly. Carly messed up, sometimes intentionally, sometimes just by instinct. Carly ruined lives and wreaked havoc. Carly couldn’t be good, even when she tried as hard as possible. That WAS Carly…that was the point of having such an annoyingly bad character. You see, underneath it all, Carly wanted to be the good girl, more than anything. She wanted to be popular, loved, needed…but she could never, ever get out of her own way to do it. Period. Yes, I realize that it is tough to sustain that type of character forever without growth. I have no problem with growth actually. Carly was growing from the moment she came to PC. She learned a lot, she reconciled with her mother, she made a good friend who would stand by her and be there for her forever, she finally took responsibility for her child, and she fell in love. You can’t do those things without a certain amount of growth along the way. It was great to see Carly have her own business, have a purpose away from Sonny. Now? Now, Carly gives advice. She pats people on the back. She cowers before her all-powerful husband. She can’t wait for Jason to get married (gimme a break!). She rarely makes a wrong move, and when she does it’s usually only wrong in Sonny’s eyes. She lied; she went behind his back, etc. What IS that? I actually watch Carly be told that she should have broken her friend’s confidence and told Sonny what was going on (and told in a spiteful, mean way) and she placates him? She allows him to act that way toward her? Carly is gone. Well, actually, Carly telling Sonny that Lorenzo saved their baby (Umm, no, he held your hand through labor pains in a hospital that you never should have been at in the first place!) and that she owes him for that, is the first inkling I’ve seen of the true Carly since she had a moment of conniving brilliance in the panic room. You see, Carly isn’t dumb and neither are we, so she knows as well as we do that she doesn’t actually owe him for that. But Carly has always wanted acceptance more than anything and Carly absolutely loves for a man to think she’s capable of making her own decisions. Lorenzo gave her the one thing Sonny withholds with a vengeance…trust. He listened to her side of the situation, and he allowed her to play something out her way. If the ghost of realCarly were paying any more than a cursory visit, Carly would be in Lorenzo’s bed before Christmas, guaranteed. Instead she’ll probably stay right where she is, beneath Sonny’s shoe, and I suppose they expect me to look to Faith for the “bad girl” persona. I’m not buying it though. I loved Faith in the beginning, because she was more Helena like – bad and loving it. She’s been bought and paid for by too many people for her to matter much now though.

I guess Courtney and Jason were supposed to be our latest “good girl falls for bad boy” scenario. Unfortunately, the writers apparently forgot that she was married, lusting after her husband’s brother (before she knew her husband was psycho), and a mobster’s ex-stripper sister. She just didn’t fit the mold anymore by the time Jason got her, sorry to say. Jason and Liz (and again, I was no fan of the pairing) had angst and mystery because we wondered how she would reconcile with his life and how he would protect her from it. Courtney had to reconcile with the life from the moment she stopped having a hate-on for her brother (which was pretty early on), and she already needed protecting from “the life”. A romance with Jason added a five-minute conflict between our two mobster heroes (and that kick ass montage we got out of it!), but that’s about it. I will admit that I’ve felt a bit for Courtney over the last few weeks, I think ALW has toned things down a little and it’s somewhat gratifying to see a member of the “always right crew” second guessing herself a little. I doubt it will last but at least for once there is actually a story between Jason and Courtney. I suppose if I have to stare at them every day, there may as well be something actually happening for a change.

Then there are all these little story threads hanging out there that move at the pace of a snail and even with that they should arrive at some point, except that there is really no destination in mind. Alexis and Kristina, Alexis and Cameron, Cameron and Zander, Skye and Ned (which I still think is THE dumbest, most contrived bull crap EVER), AJ (*sniff* he doesn’t even have an “and), etc, all going nowhere, slowly. There is nothing left to enjoy about any of them. They don’t get worthwhile material so you cannot even just enjoy the acting. All of them are either caricatures of themselves, or in Cameron’s case, so undeveloped to begin with that it’s almost unbelievable that he’s been around for…oh, forget it, it would only depress me to know how long he’s been on this show.

Liz and Ric? Great chemistry, the potential was there and maybe it still is, but I fear that the characters will both have to be so contorted for it to make sense that it’ll no longer be worth it. Chemistry alone doesn’t do it, and as we GH viewers have learned, it is entirely possible to write the chemistry right out of a pairing in about two seconds flat.

Ah well, let’s move on to a list of WTF’s, shall we?

Hey Emily! If you have to specify whom you’re marrying to anyone that you’ve known for more than five minutes, then something is really wrong. Oh Jason, I’m getting married…to Zander. Wtf? That’s messed up girl!

WTF Sonny? Do you really believe you have the right to be upset that Courtney’s father new something about her before you did? What? *whine* Mike knew she was pregnant and no one told me? Seriously, some of the things that come out of his mouth astound me.

Can you believe that Lorenzo’s guard chose the moment after Jason entered his suite to take a break, thereby enabling Dillon to walk right in? Maybe Lorenzo is hiring from the same agency Sonny is.

Micky Five Hands?? Bwahahahahahaha!

Carly to Courtney: “You and I, we need to do those things” Uh, have you EVER had a conversation like that with a friend about handling your husband/boyfriend? When did Carly turn into a complete idiot? Why can’t we get C&C down at the diner, complaining about their selfish, egotistical sig others, and not in that loving “aw, I’m so lucky he keeps me around” way either? Who do I have to bribe to get that?

What is up with Sonny learning about the miscarriage and still sending Jason out two minutes later to do his dirty work with Lorenzo? Think maybe Jason might not be the best candidate to deal rationally with business at the moment, particularly that business? Think maybe Courtney might need him more than you do at the moment? Do you ever think, period?

Okay, so corporate Dillon is kinda cute, but I miss the hair. It was fun to see ELQ again (after I finally stopped ff’ing, thinking it wasn’t the right show – we don’t get different sets all that often on this show, I wasn’t prepared) and I’m all for Ned/Dillon interaction. Oh, and what was up with AJ finally showing up, only to steal cookies from children? I realize I’m far from impartial here, because I love AJ, but does anyone seriously not see blatant character assassination going on right before your eyes during every one of AJ’s once a month, fifteen-second scenes? Run Billy! Run far and fast.

Uh Sonny, so it’s Michael’s fault Carly tripped on the docks? How about telling Carly to stop wearing heals. Or how about she JUST TRIPPED, and we don’t scar anyone for life by blaming it on them?

I was disappointed to see that Lorenzo’s men aren’t any smarter than Sonny’s. Why would they be doing business in the open, on the docks? Why didn’t Courtney have a guard? These women, who are so important to their men, are among the most victimized in town? Makes no sense.

I hate the idea that Dillon is enamored of the mob, but if he’s going to be enamored I’m glad it’s of Lorenzo. The scene on the dock was funny, well acted and transcended the fact that I hate the idea of the scene. It was three actors, playing their parts and playing the scene together, instead of a disjointed effort to bring one character above the others. Lorenzo knows he’s not a good guy so there’s no need to justify and manipulate exchanges like that.

That reminds me, I read something in the September 2, 2003 issue of Soap Opera Digest this week. Linda Dano (Rae, OLTL) told a story about her days as Another World’s Felicia. She said that while her character was the kidnap victim of a psycho fan, she had a hard time understanding why Felicia wouldn’t have been smart enough to pick up a lamp and knock the guy out. Finally, says Dano, she got it:

“My job was to be so entertaining that the audience
didn’t go there and think about the lamp. It was a turning point.”

Linda Dano is very talented, and unfortunately has been greatly misused by ABC. Her Felicia kept me interested in AW once upon a time, and I’d agree that she did “get it”. It is the actor’s job to do that, and more, but it is also the job of the writer’s to write something that keeps us engrossed. Little is accomplished by bringing back an old vet to rejuvenate interest in a show, particularly when fans determine that was the only visible purpose. Little to nothing is accomplished by overusing violent plot points (miscarriage, gunplay, hit-n-run, etc) just to try to shock viewers into being interested. I tuned into AMC recently solely to see the big Erica/Jack wedding…that’s a plot point with substance. I tune in continually to OLTL because that show so obviously loves to play with its characters. Sure, they mess it up sometimes, but at least they keep trying. They haven’t just turned the valve and continually shut off every character’s intentions, point of view, and back-story. And for goodness sake, they have FUN once in awhile. That alone is priceless. If only GH writers would remember the soap roots even a little, things could be much better. The pieces are still there, but at this point a good stiff wind could blow the whole thing to kingdom come.

It doesn’t have to be perfect and there will almost always be a lamp, but when someone that loves, understands and respects the individual characters writes a story that is truly about the characters, with a mind toward their history and place on the canvas, the lamps will automatically fade into the backdrop for the viewers.

I know I sound like the voice of doom, lol, but honestly I think change is going to come…and soon. I have no inside information or anything, it’s just a feeling. Maybe instead of drinking games we need a praying game, lol. Every time Carly rubs her belly, everyone drop to your knees and pray to the soap gods (or whatever higher power you think might be interested ;) for deliverance…and I don’t mean baby deliverance!