January 25, 2002
12:00 noon

LOVED IT/HATED IT

AMC

LOVED IT – When Greenlee was holding up Vanessa from her Proteus call and she started having a conniption fit. I was thinking this week that it would be funny if someone (Palmer, David, whoever) picked up Vanessa’s cell phone to make a call and the person on the other end of the phone said, “Why are you TALKING like that?” or if her voice modulator or whatever that thing is suddenly crapped out and she didn’t know it and went on talking and Mateo got a stupid look on his face and said, “um, Vanessa, is that you?” and there was just this long, pregnant silence and she did a fake Chinese accent and said, “so solly, you gotta wong numba” and hung up.

LOVED IT - When Vanessa was purring to Larry that it wouldn’t do any good to call an ambulance because he’d be dead by the time they arrived. It was sooo Catwomanish. I also loved it when she was bitching at him for dying in the wrong place. God bless Dead Larry for being dead. What a cad he was.

LOVED IT – When Anna cued in on what was going on with Vanessa. Perhaps all of the excellent detective skills she showed on GH were not totally lost when her eggs got scrambled. Oh and BTW, for you folks who were not watching GH back when Anna and Robert were the collective bomb, (click on the pic) I want to tell you that her randiness with David is not a fluke. She was quite the little horndog in her GH days as well. In one particularly hot moment, Valentines Day 1991, she seduced Robert (then her ex-husband – they married twice), got him nekkid, tied him up and left him.

LOVED IT – When Greens and Anna were sissing it up with the champagne, talking like girlfriends. They could definitely both use a friend.

LOVED IT – When Leo and David ended up lugging DeadLarry off of the scene of the crime most neatly. I kept expecting Vanessa to tell them to store the trunk for a few weeks for her. I supposed she did a quick audit and decided that dumping Palmer was worth getting Larry out of the closet unnoticed. She definitely is much more calculating than I gave her credit for in the past.

LOVED IT – When the cell phone rang. HA!!

LOVED IT – When Ryan and Kendall were talking dirty to each other:

(Paraphrasing)

Kendall: (after being busted going through Ryan’s pants) I was looking for my razor.

Ryan: In my pants?

Kendall: Well, I hear you don’t have much else in there.

Tiddy boom

Ryan: (pinning Kendall too the bed hog-tying style) It doesn’t feel like you need a shave…unless you were going to shave something else.

Yeeeeoooww! This has to be the longest foreplay in soap history. It makes me want to go out for a Six-Pack!

LOVED IT – When Ryan refused to let JR off the hook with a check. Good for him! I’m getting pretty sick of seeing that little brat through his flyweight around.

LOVED IT – When (almost) the whole story of Chris, Ryan and Ryan’s mother unrolled in the space of a few minutes. I love how this happened almost lackadaisically, gently encouraging itself to open bit by bit until it all started to make sense. This story holds great promise as an interesting back burner bit.

LOVED IT – When Ryan flung the copy of “Look Homeward, Angel” across the room. I’ve had the same reaction to the book. He was probably just pissed because he grabbed it thinking it was an Archie book.

LOVED IT – When Jackson used the “My Cousin Vinny” line that I used in my January 14^th entry. *****ssssssstttt***** hot, hot, hot!!

LOVED IT – When Ryan called himself a pouting loser and Kendall a neurotic bitch. Moment of clarity, I guess.

LOVED IT – When Hank was telling Katrina, *cough*splutter*, I mean OPAL that he loved her.

LOVED IT – When Montel made a great judge!

HATED IT – When out of nowhere, Dim Dixie jaunted down south for a quickie divorce without telling Tad. Bad, bad form. Isn’t it about time for her to leave yet?

HATED IT – When Hayley went walking on the beach in her grim reaper outfit (OK, I confess, I want it). I understand missing your husband and worrying about him when he’s being stalked by a drug lord, but these two are together IN PUBLIC every five minutes.

HATED IT – When Simone took the opportunity to tongue Mateo. TELL ME something else isn’t going on there.

HATED IT – OK, I confess, every time Mateo was onscreen.

HATED IT – When Greenlee and Leo were talking like pre-teens on the sofa. In fact, I hated the whole scene where Leo was looped on pain killers and ruining the Lacey’s meeting. Dumb and dumber.

OLTL

LOVED IT – When Keri stood up for RJ.

LOVED IT – When Dr Larry got some airtime!

LOVED IT – When Todd’s dream turned into a song and dance number. BRILLIANT!!

LOVED IT – When Paloma was able to have the incentive, money and free time to fly from Mexico to Llanview, find someone who spoke Spanish and make her way to not only Blair’s home, but also her cousin’s, who doesn’t even live in the town. Good thing she can read English! Diablita…heh heh heh.

LOVED IT – When David Vickers was on screen. YEAH BAYBEE!! Lord, Lord, Lord PLEASE let Kelly have some scenes with him!!

LOVED IT – When Natalie managed to tell Al the truth!

LOVED IT – When that COOL music was playing while Sam and Nora slobbered on one another. Soundtrack, please?

LOVED IT – When Seth was proclaiming his love for Jessica.

LOVED IT – When Al went off on Gabrielle! Bravissimo!

LOVED IT – When Troy got the idea to be Colin. EXcellent!

LOVED IT – When Viki and Natalie had such a powerful and moving mother-daughter scene. Big, outlandish kudos to both actresses, who pulled off such an incredible moment for us.

LOVED IT – When Troy told Lindsay he loved her and she glowed.

HATED IT – To know that he’s really dragging her down the path.

HATED IT - When Lindsay walked in on Troy and Nora right when loudmouth Nora spilled the beans. Does NO ONE close a DOOR on these soaps? Front doors are constantly left hanging open!!

HATED IT – When we stared down this Allison and Roxie are scamming Jessica path.

HATED IT – When Gabrielle was ranting at anyone who would listen like an air raid siren. Someone muzzle that dog, get her a bark collar, get a hose, something!!

HATED IT – When Al’s “Poor Me” music was swelling in the background.

HATED IT – When Al was engaging his genetic predisposition to overacting with the “Now we shop for WHEEEELLLCHAAAAIRS” speech.

HATED IT – When Cris was bashing on Jenn for sleeping with Al and...

HATED IT – When Carlotta was justifying Cris’ rage at Jenn and speaking of Carlotta…

HATED IT – When Carlotta was freaking EVIL to Keri. That is NOT my Carlotta!

HATED IT – When I knew that Al’s paralysis was caused by swelling of the tissues around the vertebrae and that as soon as the swelling goes down, he’ll have feeling and a full range of motion again. Particularly hated that I learned it from a soap opera.

HATED IT – When Sam and Nora were making out and talking lovey crap afterward (this handsome man was kissing me, this beautiful woman was kissing me, then we were kissing and there was kissing and BLECH). Thank God Matthew and Lindsay showed up to break the boredom.

LOVED IT - HA!~ Check this out: http://www.generalshmospital.com/

LOVED IT – When Janine whipped out her itemized list of all that Mike had cost her and Courtney and started reciting from it. Obviously, a great deal of thought and preparation went into this reunion. I think she just might be my new Goddess for that move.

LOVED IT – When Gia made little Buckwheat nuggets all over Liz’s head (hee hee). It reminded me of this cartoon I once saw of a blind man who was wearing a chicken suit with a woman silently laughing in front of him and the caption read: “Edith, I’m so lucky to have you to dress me.”

LOVED IT – When Laura ranted into the phone on Luke’s emergency number, “NOW GET YOUR SORRY BUTT BACK HOME!!” You GO girl!!

LOVED IT – When Alexis said, “You do NOT walk out on me” to the great God Sonny and flew out the door after him, knocking down, um, Francis (?) whoever the muscle was at the door, don’t remember, and told him that they were NOT through. Good for her! Sonny is getting crap from all sides and I love it. After years of calling the shots and being the control freak of every conversation he has, finally the women are revolting (OK, so they aren’t THAT bad) and going off on him. Perfect!

LOVED IT – When Edward was out of his body dead and still raising hell.

LOVED IT – When Laura came in jabbering to Bobbie about Luke and Scott walked out of the kitchen. Ca-joing! Her jaw went on the ground! Ooops!

LOVED IT – When Alexis put on the cool dress for her date. Blue is definitely her color!

LOVED IT – When Tamara Braun put on a couple of pounds and changed her hair. She is looking GOOD!

LOVED IT – When I caught Amber Tamblyn on this week’s Boston Public. WHAT a brilliant actress!

LOVED IT – When Ned was pouring his heart out to Edward. *sniff*

HATED IT – When Ned told Kristina that the sun shines out of her ass or whatever he was babbling about. Zzzzzz.

HATED IT – When Alexis divulged to Courtney what happened to Sonny as a child. That was Sonny’s to tell, not her.

HATED IT – When the Scott and Alexis (not)date derailed. It would have been fun to see her with someone other than Sonny, Courtney or Kristina and hear the two of them banter off one another. Oh well, Katrina misses Patrick Mulcahey and his kicky dialogue.

HATED IT – When Lucky burned Nikolas’ letter from his father. That was totally uncalled for and I was wishing Nikolas would through Lucky into the fire.

HATED IT – When Sonny acted like a big freakin baby at the PC Grill when Courtney brought Mike along for the family dinner.

HATED IT – When Skye went into her familiar old, “Oh am I just too much hassle” routine with Jax and pouted like a three-year-old.

And that’s all I got to say about dat.

January 14, 2002
4:35pm

I'll be honest, I've spent the past two hours trying to put two words together about GH and I've found that the list of reasons why you should continue to watch GH that I did on Dec 31st, combined with working on the Relationship Scorecard has seriously depleted my GH writing font. I'm going to have to beg out on this one in hopes that I get some good inspiration going some time soon on it. For now, I'm going to keep trying to stay awake. OH WAIT!! I just remembered something good:

click ;)

January 14, 2002
2:15pm

AMC

I’m so grateful that I finally gave in and became an AMC person because there is so much about the show to enjoy. Certainly, there are things that I can (and will) pick at a bit, but for the most part, I find it to be a very worthy hour.

Chris Stamp reminds me more of Cary Grant every day. His “Er-ic-a” has the same intonations exactly as “Ju-dy, Ju-dy, Ju-dy.” (Which he never actually said to Rita Hayworth in “Only Angels Have Wings.” He said, “Hello, Ju-dy,” “C’mon, Judy” and “Now, Judy…” but not the triple inflection. That supposedly came in an introduction of Judy Garland for a future performance at the Lux Radio Theater. But I digress. The man is a saint, flowing with Erica’s clinging and pushing away ebbs and tides like a little fishy float. You’re hired, you’re fired, come here, go away and his answer is always, “OK, Er-ic-a.” He’s also doing a bang up My Cousin Vinnie-like job of defending Er-ic-a.

Of course, Kendall and Erica are in cahoots and have everyone fooled. The new Erica may look nothing like the old Kendall:

who is off battling vampires, death and other things, but she sure does look like Erica! Excellent casting! Her acting isn’t all that in the real world, but it’s fantastic soap acting, even mimicking Erica’s mannerisms. I love it. I just love it.

Where, where…the hell is Dell?

What’s up with Jackson? One minute, he was Erica’s lap dog, eating his every meal with her, acting as the angel on her shoulder (the Devil looking remarkably like Erica herself) and the next, he’s the D.A. and biting her head off at every turn and spitting out the leavings for the dogs to eat. Is he jealous of Chris and punishing her for having a boyfriend or what? That whole “I’m just doing my job” crap always pissed me off on OLTL (Hank Gannon has viciously chewed on the exposed, white, vulnerable underbelly of almost everyone in town – most often when they were innocent of the accused crime – and always shrugs it off as his job) and doesn’t fare much better with me now. Jack can do his job without being a jerk to her every time he sees her. Jerk. . .Jack. . .whatever. Regardless, the surname on that is "Off."

Brooke and Edmund have been easier to tolerate than I expected, but I find myself eager for Maria’s return (if that is to be). Since Brooke dumped Ed for Tad before, it would be poetic justice for him to dump her for his suddenly not-so-dead wife. It would make great story material all around for Maria to return.

Darn. I was really hoping that Laura would be brutally murdered and her heart given to someone else. I do think it was extremely bad taste for Greenlee to accompany Leo to speak to Laura. Rubbing salt in the wound isn’t really necessary. I realize that Laura has done some pretty despicable things to both of them and I can’t condone any of them, but being twisted and being in a lot of pain doesn’t normally put us on best behavior. I’m glad she got in the dig about not being able to stand seeing Greenlee’s face and I suppose if she couldn’t die, this was the next best thing. When Leo doubled over, I was hoping he was actually having some grief for all that happened rather than reacting to his beaten insides.

I’ve seen more of Myrtle in the past 2 weeks than in all of the cumulative months that I’ve been watching. That, as Martha Stewart would say, is a good thing.

I know I didn’t just see Erica wearing Italian heels with her orange jumpsuit.

Loved the scenes of Greenlee hallucinating while trapped in the sauna and her disorientation when Jake saved her. A shake up of having Mia connect with Leo (their personalities seem suited to one another) and Jake with Greenlee sounds good to me.

At this point, Ryan with anyone at all just seems ludicrous. I agree with Stephanie when she says that the writers seem to be punishing Cam for threatening departure by sinking him in a nowhere storyline of an embittered guy playing vigilante, jousting imaginary windmills and pinballing into everyone else’s scenes rather than having any that center around him. I understand that not everyone can be front and center all the time and certainly, Ryan’s had his day in the sun, but he seems so extraneous now that it’s a crime.

OLTL

Is there any chance Renee can get Allison tossed out of The Palace since she seems to be able to do that with everyone else? Can’t they press charges against her for harassment? What a little pain in the ass.

The acting has been fabulous in the Keri-RJ-Antonio story and I enjoy watching it very much. Timothy Stickney has at last been given a story to sink his teeth into and he’s chewing for all he’s worth. His scenes with James DePaiva were particularly great and reminded me that DePaiva actually can act. With the his polar acting opposite, Fiona Hutchinson, in his every scene, their energy negating one another into a fierce black hole that sucks all of the air out of the room, I had forgotten how good he can be.

I still love the Todd-Blair-Baby story and the continual introduction of characters into the story (David Vickers, Cassie, Kelly, etc), it has remained fresh and interesting. The return of Paloma and Todd’s hallucinations of her have been quite entertaining and when she really does return, it will be fun to see the fur hit the fan. The acting has all been top notch on everyone’s part and the writing has been in keeping with the personalities of all concerned. What a joy!

Dammit! Just when I was dismissing Lindsay completely as a waste of my time, I find myself feeling sorry for her as Troy strings her along. She’s very right when she says that all of the men she’s gone after have wanted her to be someone she’s not (like a decent, honest human being). I do know that the scene was written by a woman and not a man because upon hearing about Lindsay’s affair with Troy, the first words out of his mouth (if a man had written the scene) would have been to ask if he was better or Troy.

On the whole Jen-Al-Cris-Baby thing, I’ll sum it up with this:

click