Spoilers I use for commentary are compliments of  Soap Zone and Carol Banks Weber:

Привет Мои Любимые!

It has been a marvelous week here in the California foothills with even a spot of rain that left the world smelling wonderful.  Pity these spoilers stink like last year's cheese.  It's like a trainwreck I can't keep from watching.

What is definitely much more fun than a train wreck is the new EOS gossip column by Karen H, the Media Ho.  I'm loving it!

AMC Commentary

We could pretty much call the next couple of weeks "Hell Hath No Fury" and be done with it.  Between Greenlee's very justified fury at Ryan (although she does manage to get some Ryan lovins before he breaks off the news to her that he intentionally let her believe that she was a widow twice before the age of thirty) and Tad's indignant rage at Di and Kendall and Greenlee raging at Erica and Kendall's anger at Zach for his part in Ryan's faked death and Jack sounding off at Ryan, there's plenty of piss off to going around Pine Valley.

I'm just pissed off that the stories aren't really grabbing me.  Having David Hayward made a fool of every time he is on screen, having Adam and JR both hoodwinked by the Carey women, with Julia as the new precious of the show and never getting to see the characters I really do like to see, I am starting to think of better things I can do with my time between noon and 1pm.  Funny since AMC was always my favorite of the shows.

And that's all I got to say about that.

 OLTL Spoiler Commentary

• Why does Bo keep informing Todd of the blow by blow on their murder investigation? Bo has Todd visit the Llanview police department, as a sketch artist puts together what looks like the killer.

I think Bo has been looking for a screwdriver to stick in Todd and twist around for a long time now and he has finally found one!

• Barely able to keep from wigging out, Todd practically does a jig when Denton produces a fake video of Todd somewhere (his office) other than that lake the night of the murder. Todd will use that video as his cover story.

Sounds like a winner!

• Denton warns Todd that the authorities are closing in on whodunit, making sketches available for public viewing in the near-future. Todd pisses himself.

That's a daytime first for someone over 5.

• Todd’s answer to the fruits of Bo’s and John’s investigative labor (on the drowned bodies at the lake), is to take off, without looking back.

Yeah, way to look not guilty because you were at the office, Todd.

• Blair can’t help but think Todd’s up to something, something he won’t let her be privy to. In exasperation, she warns him to knock off the subterfuge or else risk total annihilation of his familial place.

Like she figured that out all by herself?

• Too late. A picture of Ginger with Margaret of all people sets Blair off.

Doh!~

• It doesn’t matter what Ginger fronts, pictures don’t lie, eventually she spills the truth of her identity and association to Margaret,… Blair orders the young woman to get the hell out of their lives, and the penthouse for starters.

Yeah, I think her recurring status is about to become less recurring.

• Spencer surreptitiously opens his doors to Ginger.

Surely she's not dumb enough to...

• Spencer makes himself tantalizingly available to Blair, in the Ginger aftermath. Lying through his teeth, Spencer acts like he and Ginger aren’t acquainted, in order to be Blair’s knight.

Crap... they're both dumb enough to...

• Todd lets jealousy overcome him after viewing Spencer macking on his woman Blair, and lets loose with fists on the masher.

Bang on, ToddMan, Bang on!

• Asa plots Spencer’s downfall, foul for foul.

Have we yet figured out a motive in this obsession Spencer has for taking down the Buchanans?  Wait to Clint lets loose on him!

• Ginger’s duplicity ruins Starr’s day, week, year.

Awww.  This poor girl just cannot get a break (Starr, not Ginger).

• It sounds like a farewell from Todd to Blair. As thinly veiled as Todd’s making the farewell, it is a farewell.

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

• But first, a costume to pass by authorities unnoticed, then Todd can flee, as invisible as possible.

It's October and Halloween is afoot.  I suggest something in a nice Power Rangers motif.

• Blair stumbles across another surprise, this time it directly involves Margaret.

What we suspected is true; Margaret is really a man!  (no, not really, but it was a fun, drama-ish thought)

• You’re invited to David’s bachelor party, at the Buchanan Lodge? There’s the groom-to-be and his estranged older brother Spencer, looking mighty uncomfortable.

Oh, this should be an absolute HOOT!

• Dorian’s bridal shower turns ugly, when the Cramer women gang up on a defenseless Ginger.

I hope they're serving Meow Mix instead of cucumber finger sandwiches.

• Bo agrees to let Matthew see his mom in the hospital, thanks to Paige.  Matthew’s presence seems to help Nora rouse.  In Matthew’s eyes, this means Nora will get better.

Well, the little ones know best.  I have not yet heard anything about Hillary B re-signing with the show.  I'm betting a fat contract would rouse Nora even faster.

• Paige cautions Bo not to jump the gun on Nora just yet, the eye-opening might not meaning anything.

In other words, "She could still die, so don't leave me for her yet."

• Rachel lashes out at Bo for causing Nora’s collapse. This makes Matthew very scared, very sad and very angry at his dad. The boy makes tracks to distance himself.

That was pretty dumb and selfish of Rachel to do this in front of Matthew, not to mention, it's not like Bo made Nora's brain explode or something, just because he had the audacity to have a LIFE.

• Matthew gets over it, and mends fences with Bo.

Proving that Matthew is smarter than Rachel.

• John and Evangeline try to lean on the prison warden to take protective measures for Cristian.

Yeah, practice safe prison!

• Carlo orders his minions to give Cristian the beating of his life.

Carlo must really be keeping track of Cris if he knows the comparative beatings the guy has received.

• Carlo’s minions – headed up by inmate Kratz – do a damned good job, a near death by hanging. To bystanders, it looks like Cristian intended to hang, but that’s what the minions want them to think.

What's that old joke?  Death by oooga booga?  If this isn't the gayest prison I've ever heard of... Something tells me that Cris drops the soap on purpose these days.

• Evangeline heads straight for John after learning of the beating on Cristian.

Shall we continue to say that of course, Natalie has to be there and get her big ol' gums a flappin on a bitch marathon, session #44832.

• If John, and only John, doesn’t act fast, Carlo will finish the job on Cristian.

*snicker*  I wonder if we'll get blow by blow details.

• John personally lends a hand to Cristian. Cristian, however, wonders what’s in it for John.

Oh god, this is cracking me up.  Now John is lending a "hand" to the situation.  Someone help me.  I'm stuck in innuendo hell.

• John suffers from guilt over Cristian, and the secret Cris swore him to, a ticking time bomb between him and Natalie.

Still in an innuendo mire...

• With Natalie out of the loop (about Cristian), she has no other recourse but to grit her teeth at John and Evangeline spending so much time, duo.

OK, sufficient Natalie mentioning to smack me back to reality and off of the GPN (Gay Prison Network).

• A guest goes to see Cristian, an unlikely guest.

Hmmmm.  Natalie?  Carlotta?  Richard Simmons?

• Evangeline lays into Layla. But they do make up.

Must they?  Can't Layla run home to Missouri or where ever in a spray of tears?  Please?

• Jessica’s out of it with sedatives, so she can’t blurt out her pregnancy to Antonio, however much she tries.

Can she point to her belly insistently or something?

• Antonio, Jessica, Layla and Jamie head back to Llanview, with Jessica safe and sound, for the moment, at Antonio’s.

Like she's going to stay put. 

• Antonio worries that a phone call Jessica makes to her mom might trigger a Tess entrance.

It can be battling DIDs!

• In the worst timing imaginable, the social worker stops by to check in on Jamie. The social worker comes away from the check-up a little bugged.

Crazy, pregnant. doped up chick on the couch (or in his bed) might just raise an eyebrow.

• Nash follows close by. He figures out that Tess is with child, and lets Antonio know this fact.

And now they're going to have a custody battle over her uterus, I'll bet.

• Nash and Antonio have it out, their raised voices scaring Jessica, who scurries to the bathroom.

To vomit?

• Antonio and Nash exchange pertinent information on Jessica and Tess; both are taken aback.

Just like a motor vehicle accident. Exchange insurance info and walk away.

• Dorian and Viki also have it out, bickering about Jessica.

Does Dorian even have a dog in that fight?

• The revelation of Jessica’s DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) leaves Viki feeling a little DID herself.

Well, Tess needs a mama too!  Who better than Niki?

• Viki finally gains full knowledge of Jessica’s mental (DID) and physical (pregnancy) states.

Hard to tell which one will upset her most.

• Jessica takes off for the umpteenth time following the conflict over her. Antonio, not far behind as the search party.

All this girl ever does is leave.  It's a wonder anyone recognizes her from the front.

• Viki versus Tess, Part II. Pass the buttered popcorn.

But this time, Viki has had the ol' ticker in for a tune up, so she'll take her down in nothing flat.

• Nash loves Tess too much to let her go this easily. He readies himself for the fight of his life.

He'd better sign a contract fast.

• Lindsay comes up with a hare-brained idea: Let’s procreate, R.J.!

"Let's make little chocolate mocha, change of life babies!"

• Michael hates that Marcie has hooked up with Hugh. They’re not quite hooking up, just going out again.

If Michael is so invested in Marcie's love life, he'd better do a lot less bitchin and a lot more hitchin!

• Rex maneuvers Marcie out of Hugh’s orbit.

Hey, Rex, you can steer him thisaway.

• Next week:  No matter what Ginger says, it’s too late, but not too little. Too bad nobody’s paying her any mind… It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that Todd might’ve did Margaret in at the lake. Even Blair senses this… Viki loses it after learning that the nut doesn’t fall far from the nut bar, so to speak… Clint pays his clan a much-needed visit, and will stick around to tend to the home fires… Tess ‘fesses up to Nash, but only has hostility, in the form of an aimed weapon, at Antonio… Todd keeps digging himself in deeper, unable to escape the long arm of the law (or the suspicious nature of an increasingly dissatisfied Blair).
   

GH Spoiler Commentary

• Jason and Sonny better watch their backs for the duration.

Or watch each others' flexing, muscular, bare backs. 

• A gunfire shoot-out between Sonny and Javier results in the downing of Reese.

Excellent!

• While putting Reese out of harm’s way, Sonny gets hit.

Doh!  (Did anyone else think the main shooter on Friday's episode looked just a whole lot like the ultra-gorgeous Scott Egan - Johnny the ex-body guard??)

• Sonny goes to shoot back at Javier, but the trigger clicks, clicks and clicks—empty.

Double Doh!

• Javier strolls over, aims his gun at Sonny, about to pull the trigger on a very much loaded weapon when Jason storms in. Like the Second Coming of Christ.

Yayyyy!  Lightning split the eastern sky, the angels sang and kabam!  There is The Jason, guns a blazin!  I love it.

• Javier all but laughs at Jason, acting on the assumption from the recent past that an amnesiac Jason will do nothing.  Jason does what needs to be done, on automatic pilot, for Sonny.

Yeah, well, that's what guys with names like Javier get for thinkin!

• Sonny ensures Reese receive proper GH treatment. It’s a good thing, too, because she arrives almost DOA. He checks in on her.  Reese recovers from her bullet wound.

Well of course!  This is miracle hospital!

• The cops haul Jason to the PCPD, as a result of Javier’s murder, for the usual round of incarcerative booking.

Same shit, different day.

• Ric intercedes on Sonny’s behalf, forcing Durant to free Jason. Ric’s weapon of choice: blackmail, on suspicion that Durant teamed up with Javier to do Sonny in.

Even if it was a stab in the dark, it was a stab that hit the right spot!

• After being informed of Ric’s asserting powers over Jason, Sonny expresses displeasure to Ric on his unwanted meddling in mob business.

After Ric saved his ass more than once this month?  Sonny needs to regroup here!

• Sam alerts Jason to the repercussions he most assuredly will receive at a vengeful Manny’s hands, following his termination of Javier. Their blood, on his hands.

At least Sam is there to spell it out for him (and maybe charade it for him as well).

• Sam showers, while Manny tiptoes closer, evil on his mind.

Does he think she's going to like him now or something?

• Before he has a chance to whip out a weapon, Sam turns one on him, bang!, then flees to Jason.

Whip it out, Manny, whip it out!

• Jason makes a vow to Sam that this is it, never again will Manny be a threat to her.

The making of an Enforcer, Part Deux.

• Jason agrees to Sonny’s heartfelt request to take up his Enforcer title again, for old time’s sake. Jason agrees out of a sense of duty, not desire.

So he still kills people, he just doesn't like it yet.  I think the reindeer sweater is still safely in the closet.

• On two separate occasions, Ric meets with Hector Ruiz, Manny’s and Javier’s poppa, in hopes of peace. After the second meeting, Hector attempts to put the reins on Manny. Instead of listening, Manny commits patricide. A loosed Manny is a fatality for anybody in his way or connected to Sonny.

If he'd kill his own papa, I'd say Sonny is likely not going to fare well (in theory).

• Alexis points out to Ric that he loves Sonny better than their unborn baby. (Or else he’d stay out of this mob mess.)

You'd think, wouldn't you?

• Manny (Javier’s brother) goes to Lorenzo, to help destroy Sonny, for good, putting Lorenzo in a sticky position. Manny doesn’t give Lorenzo much choice to be non-biased.

Sounds like it the sentence was not formulated as a question.

• Lorenzo merely wanted the Ruiz family and Sonny to cancel each other out, not be dragged into the mob war himself. Now, finding himself very much involved, against his will, Lorenzo acts to contain the escalating thirst for bloodshed, without much luck. Part of his impetus is a remaining love for Carly (if he does nothing, how would he explain himself to her later?). Yet, short of sacrificing his own life for Sonny & Co., Lorenzo’s efforts will not be sufficient to pay off the IOU for luring the Ruiz family to Port Charles in the first place.

Yep, he maybe should not have gotten into that bed.

• Jason’s head hurts again. And he’s no closer to regaining his identity as Jason Morgan. This can’t bode well. In fact, this recurring symptom signifies the failure of the pills he’s prescribed to take.

Go on!   Have the surgery!

• All those years missing in action from Port Charles, Robin instead spent them in Paris boning up on her medical knowledge, specifically in the field of neurology, out of concern for former boyfriend Jason, what with his brain damage. She holds the medical key to Jason’s recovery.

That's quite a bargaining tool!

• Sensing the end is near, Diego diverts attention from himself – as the roofie stalker suspect – to a fellow school attendee named Kenny.  Diego’s efforts to shake attention from himself to Kenny fail to work on all.

So... did Diego actually do it?  Can he go away?  Please?

• Jesse, Dillon and Lainey work behind the scenes, furiously, to pinpoint the actual suspect, with proof.

I'm still stunned that The Black Psychologist actually has a name.

• An excerpt from the late Sage’s journal – on how Dillon and Georgie tormented her – infuriates Diego.

They kept her journals around?  How morbid!

• Maxie sneaks into Diego’s room, tossing the joint for the proof Jesse requires, but then Diego walks in on her.

And drugs her and takes pictures of her?  He was, after all, the one who showed up accidentally after Maxie made her appointment to meet the drugging photographer!

• Jesse reacts seriously to Diego finding Maxie playing junior detective. Jesse and Diego work out a deal.

Like Jesse is a senior detective.  Ugh.

• Jax does the repenting of his life, for the love (back) of his wife Courtney. The woman is not made of stone. She does feel for him and his effort on her behalf.

What?  Are we to believe this one is genuine?

• By this week, Jax knows that Carly accidentally forced his car off the road, triggering an avalanche of bad luck for them all.

Oh this should go over well, especially considering Jax's rivalry with Sonny over Brenda.

• Jax confides in Emily about him still harboring feelings for Courtney. He tells Emily that he’s still open to a marriage reconciliation.

And I am sure Emily is off and running with this one.

• Alan forces Emily into a no-win situation.

Get them to give us more scenes or else!

• Nikolas includes Courtney and a baby in the same spoken thought pattern, which upsets Emily deeply. It’s clear who Nikolas desires, now.

I imagine that whole, "I never want to speak to you again, I don't love you, give me a divorce" speech had some lasting effects.

• It’s either Courtney or Emily, Lucky counsels Nikolas, he can’t have both.

Then Lucky hasn't spent nearly enough time in Port Charles.  I think Nik should dump them both and go raise Katherine Bell from the presumed dead.

• Nikolas goes for Courtney, and tells Lucky so.

Forward rather than backward, eh?  Definitely proactive.

• Courtney would go for Nikolas too, only she’s trying to do right by everybody but herself (besides, she doesn’t know that Nikolas really would pick her if Emily were back in the picture). In that regard, she pens a note to Nik, and takes off.

Did she decide he's too stupid to make his own choices?

• Courtney is unable to bail without the fates stepping in, with the arrival of Nikolas in her path. The two give in to the fates, and make out.

What are you to do when the fates are after you?

• Next week, and beyond: A kidnapping occurs, with Elizabeth MIA… Sam and Jason are not on board the same ship when it comes to Robin’s arrival… Courtney needs to talk with Jax, seriously… Hide the barware. Sonny cracks the code on Ric and Reese’s one day of indiscretion… Reese chooses to bow out, and away from Sonny… This time, Reese won’t be the beneficiary of such earlier grace from Sonny… Jason faces extreme peril from Manny… Ned and the recast Lulu will attend Lucky and Elizabeth’s wedding, October 28… Helena arrives, again, October 24, just in time for Lucky and Elizabeth’s nuptials… Luke’s been able to avoid dealing with his children for far too long. The bachelor joyride ends when a grown-up and 17 Lulu gets in daddy’s face about all his past wrongs. She will be a major thorn in Luke’s and Skye’s side… The paternity test results on Courtney’s unborn baby point to one man as the father. However!... It’s bad when I can’t even tell spoilers from jokes anymore but, alas, according to TV Guide, a passenger train – loaded with Sonny, Sam, Alexis, Carly, Robin and Manny – will crash into another one, precipitating a landslide, a poisonous gas leak, a flood, a snake, locusts and the fifth horseman (okay, the last two came from the Bible’s Book of Revelation). Amidst the multiple disasters, a major character (Reese?) will fall off the face of the earth. Manny Ruiz makes the train collision happen, November 3. Head writer Bob Guza Jr. described the filming as a mini-movie filled with “spectacular” special effects… NuCarly will run from more than her own demons, smack dab in the middle of the disasters du jour… The enemy after Carly is real and out for blood… Alexis has no other choice but to face facts, Ric’s dedication to Sonny borders on the obscene, and could detrimentally affect her and their unborn baby—birth about to occur two weeks past the due date.

And with that, I'm outta here.  I hope you are all having a stunning week.

Lovin YOU!