So much for uh,…writing weekly columns on my part.  It’s been awhile since I’ve darkened this door with my badge on.   It’s remains on my agenda to get better at the “just sit down and do it” approach… but my agenda got all buggered up most recently. I have a tendency to flake out when I get too buggered and the most creative thing I have been thinking about our favorite daytime television production is “Whoa! Is Nikolas really gonna have sex with the pirate eyeliner ON?”.  And I just know how all the fabulous EOS readers are sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for that sort of commentary. (wink)  Things seem to be ironing out a bit around here and so I’m finally sitting down with plenty to say.  Grab something fabulous like an Apple Martini (wow, that really does sound so much more fabulous than the Diet Coke I’m really slurping..) and without further adieu, let’s talk  a bit about style!  

Someone finally got smart and cut Ted King’s hair!  Woo Hoo!  Did you notice?  It’s still longish and not the sleek, short ‘do that we so appreciated on his departed brother Luis, but it’s been noticeably shaped and thinned out.  Ted King recently mentioned in one of those soap mags you love so much (I think I’m shamelessly borrowing this from a Coggie column – please don’t pin me down on sources as they all run together after performing the 10^th diaper change of the day) that he plans to grow his luscious locks to his shoulders.    His vision for the cultured European mobster includes a ponytail (and boots with suits…rrowwl).  So if the end justifies the means, can we hang in there for the in-between stage?  My vote is sure, why not – who else breaks barware with that kind of gusto?   

I’d like to add my voice to the number of those across the Internet who are flabbergasted at the decision to recast Sage Alcazar with a white chick.  No matter the reason surrounding the dismissal of actress Eileen Boylan, the character smartly represented a blended ethnicity and should have been replaced with someone authentically otherthanCaucasian.  Somehow, I’m inclined to believe that there must be more than one Asian or Latina teenaged actress in Los Angeles (ya think?).  The character of Sage honestly wouldn't work so well for me (being just one more “let’s build a triangle!” players), except that she’s a delightful mirror to our blossoming heroine - brainy, girl next door Georgie Jones.  Georgie sees Sage as a temptress to her true love Dillon.  The fact that the exotically beautiful Eileen Boylan looks every bit the part of Georgie’s perceived opposite lends a lot of credibility to the saga of Dillon’s temptation. I’m afraid seeing the Ned-framer gal dye her hair brown and heaven forbid, table dance isn’t going to sell me on the magnetism of Miss Alcazar.   And while we’re on the subject, is that that little missy a bucket full of “how I don’t want my daughter to turn out” or what?  Yikes!  When she dropped her skirt to reveal that silky underthing, I shuddered at the thought of such a sexy teenager existing somewhere.  I was younger when Brenda was doing it – it didn’t seem so scary then.  The pants are SO low on that child – even if I had those teeny little pubic bones to display, I have to doubt I’d be very comfortable doing it.  Sigh, I know – e-mail me and tell me how old I am.   

Speaking of pubic bones, is Sam (Kelly Monaco) a rock star in real life?  I thought she was supposed to broke, but she parades around in a boatload of black leather that is way too pricey for us broke girls.  Those bleached jeans and the crazy chain belt are so over the top as wardrobe choices, you have to wonder if she’s forgotten that she isn’t supposed to be a Caleb groupie anymore.  I’m delighted to realize that the card story is taking shape with some room for female character development.  Kelly Monaco is much better placed in the midst of heavy hitters like Luke, Skye and Tracy than she was in a proposed “My Fair Lady” gag-fest with Jax.  She can earn some bankable history if she stays in the boat business, so I’m really glad that she’s there for now.  It also leaves Jax open for much more interesting tension with the formidable Tracy Q.  Jane Elliot has only gotten more gorgeous over the years and I am thrilled every time she hits the screen in her red power blouse.  And Skye!  The silvery pastel cashmere (in my jealous dreams it’s cashmere anyway) coat that she has been wearing is so ice-queen perfect.  The romantic silhouette of that coat makes me swoon.  (I’m surprised Courtney didn’t get it..haha). And her swanky red dress…be still my heart.  I just wanna be Skye.  I wish that Jax would just eat his heart out over Skye...it would be fine with me if it had happened right as she was waltzing with Luke in his custom Milanese tuxedo (sigh, go ahead and tell me I’m old again – I adore the thought of Skye getting to cuddle up on the screen beside Luke!).   I don’t however think that I’m ready for the Aussie to have any new women folk until he spends a good deal of time groveling and paying penance for all his JaxAssical indiscretions.   Rumors abound that suggest the brakes have been put on a long-term Jax/Sam romance.  With good reason, I say.   

Hasn’t Tamara Braun (Carly) been an acting little dish lately?  She’s doing deer in the headlights, fish out of water to perfection.  And her slender waistline is right back in place, with no hint of the water retention or swollen, lactating breasts that most of us endure after giving birth.  Just when I started feeling a little sorry for Sonny though, (I’m a sap for baby cuddling men) he and Carly share a make-out scene where she pulls back and then asks him, “Are you sure it’s ok [for me to decline sex three weeks after you shot me in the head while I was giving birth?]”  The only regret about Carly’s loss of emotion for Sonny is that it didn’t happen because she finally realized how much he treated her like a concubine instead of a partner.  Well, he’s really cute with the baby.  And Carly is really cute in her trim red shirred blouse.  I can still manifest a giggle over Sherry Mercurio’s remarks regarding Carly.  She was starting to appreciate her until she dreamt Lorenzo with that AWFUL professor hair.   

And so it begins that Rebecca Herbst conceals her baby bump with an array of coats, large purses and potted plants.  So comical… If she’s already showing, will Elizabeth’s pregnancy be sped along to allow for real bump viewing?  In any case, I’m glad that the Elizabeth/Ric connection isn’t being completely backburnered or swept aside as a result of Becky’s real life new addition.  I see a lot of spark with Becky and Greg Vaughn (Lucky) as well, and I’m left wondering why the triangle constructed around fair Lizzie didn’t involve him instead of Chad Brannon’s Zander.  Makes more sense, in my opinion.  Greg Vaughn needs someone to help him showcase that dreamy bod in and (preferably) out of uniform.  I’m hearing whispers about  Courtney and Jason’s meandering through marriage hasn’t exactly been the stuff that all those Journey fans dreams were made of, has it?  It seems Steve Burton isn’t exactly happy with the direction that his character has taken – no offense to the actress, but he’s not so into playing Jason as the cuddle on the couch type.  It wouldn’t be so bad for me if they did anything aside from cuddling. On the couch.  Sheesh.  Stay tuned for more coats from Courtney.  She’s still our favorite Old Navy ad waiting to happen.  Can’t you see her right up there with Fran Drescher? How about Brian??  Could he possibly be a cop in PC who isn’t afraid to kick in a door and act like a real bad-ass?  Alrighty then!  His cool quotient rose by about 10 points when he played it tough with Alcazar.  The clean, outdoorsy persona suits him and even makes me think naughty thoughts about green cable knit sweaters.  That’s a feat. 

It also remains a feat for me to view Emily Quartermaine as anything other than the cow that simply doesn’t deserve Prince Nikolas.  While they try to sell me their storybook romance, I see Emily STILL playing the part of you-know-what tease with Zander.  Her throwaway marriage to someone who cared so much for her (and using cancer of all things, as an excuse to do it so shabbily) just reeks of the kind of selfishness that only narcissistic cows who don’t deserve Prince Nikolas could possess.  This breathy interpretation of Emily makes me think of fairy tales that didn’t end too well for the princess in question.  A hundred years of sleep sounds like a pretty interesting option to me.  I really, really like her much better when her hair is straight.  Those curls are too fairy-talish (like she should just wear a corseted Renaissance gown at all times) and it seriously reminds me how much they’re shoving this faux against the odds luuv down my throat.  Blech.  I watch Joan of Arcadia just to remember what it was like to palate Miss Q.   

In closing, I’d like to continue the tradition of giving you a list of ten things that keep me watching..(in no particular order other than the way they popped into my brain) 

1.      Dillon Quartermaine and Georgie Jones.  What started out as a typical stunt to gain the viewership of teens on summer break has become a riveting relationship between two characters portrayed by very talented actors.  I love the Tracy conflict, the Sage conflict and anything else that keeps these two front and center.  A lot could be learned from the non-manufactured way they came together onscreen.  

2.      Ted King’s portrayal of Alcazar.  I sit up and take notice whenever he’s on.  I can’t imagine accusing him of phoning in a performance.  Tender with Carly and brutal with barware, it’s fun to want to know this guy more and more. 

3.      Watching Jason squirm and glare as Brian cozies up to Courtney.  Heh  Having Brian representing a legitimate officer of the law doesn’t hurt things either.   

4.      Luke and Skye!  What a surprise to me that these two seem like a potential delightfully romantic match.  Hey, if Genie Francis never comes back, a brother needs some lovin’!   

5.      Faith’s one-liners.  Her over the knee boots are pretty rockin’ too.   

6.      TRACY!  I love that woman.  Whether she’s mixing it up with the Q’s, Jax, Luke or Sam, she’s just the total shiznit, plain and simple.  

7.      Rick Hearst bringing a ton of emotion to the table with the shortest exchanges of dialog.  As with Ted King, it’s a pleasure to watch this guy act.  I’m on the fence as to whether I want to wait around for Becky to have her baby before LiRic reunites.  I’m just worried that he won’t get enough airtime and decide to leave the show.  Yep, really worried.  If we lose him, I’ll cry.  Or follow him to his next job. (Admitted Rick Hearst stalker that I am) 

8.      Greg Vaughn and Tyler Christoper.  Just incredible eye candy, though neither of them are doing anything onscreen that I’m very interested in.  Well, except for standing there looking good.  

9.      The winds of change blowing through Sonny’s penthouse.  It was stagnant for way too long.  Here’s hoping it’s a really strong gust. 

10.  The promise of a Christmas episode celebrating Tony Geary.  Sounds like a heap of fun! 

I hope that you all have (or had) a glorious Thanksgiving.  I’m thankful for so many things, including all the awesome folks who read this column.  In other thankful news, I’m not cooking this year so I’ll be kicked back watching the Macy’s parade bright and early.  Can’t wait. 

July 27, 2003

Aug 10, 2002